I am a professional recruiter.  I have been for many years.  I can't say that it is a career that I have loved but I'm a good recruiter and it has paid my bills and helped me to provide for my family.  The aspects of my job that I have always loved were working with candidates who needed help with their resumes, candidates who needed advice on interviewing and assistance working through the process of finding a job.  However, as a recruiter, it is not that aspect of the job that pays the bills.

2 1/2 years ago I married my soul mate.  He was the answer to my prayers and is a wonderful father and provider.   When we married we put my house up for sale and have had it for sale since then.  My son was in such a dire situation in Public School that we made the very difficult decision to bring him home and homeschool him - even though it was imperative that I still work and bring in enough money to cover the mortgage for my old house.  I did, however reduce my schedule and worked only 3 days a week.

For several months now, I have worked as a recruiter, homeschooled in the evenings and on days off, scrambled to try to take care of my home, my husband and everything else that comes with being a wife, a mother, a sister and a daughter.  To be honest... I felt stretched more than a little thin!  To top it off, I have not been attending church.

I've been feeling the pull to be home for quite some time.  I've wanted to stay home with my family.  I've wanted to be here every day with my son... these days and years are passing and I know that I can never get this time back.  It became harder and harder to go to work.  Two days before Christmas, my home sold.  I always said that it would take the right buyer at the right time.  We had done everything to try to sell this home... 4 different realtors, several reductions in price... you name it, we tried it!  Then I received a call from a sweet little elderly woman who said that over the Thanksgiving holiday their home had burnt down.  They came to see it and fell in love with it!  Even the ugly pink carpet that was in the Master Bedroom! LOL!  With the house sold, we were planning to finally be able to put my income towards paying off our car, saving for Hitman's education and basically just giving us a little more cushion.

Recently, my son began asking to go to church.  Listen to me well... when they say that the Lord speaks with a still, small voice... believe it!  In this case, He spoke in the voice of a beautiful blonde haired 10 year old boy.  So... last weekend we went to church. 

This was a church like none that I had ever been to.  I've been to Pentecostal churches in the past... but never one quite SOOO Pentecostal!  I have never seen people so energetic on a Sunday morning in my entire life!  When I left, I felt uplifted and exhausted all at the same time.  But while I was there... I had several AHA moments. 

FIrst, I should share... my husband is not a born again Christian (so any of you who feel compelled to add a prayer to your daily prayers - I would appreciate it!).  One of the things that has kept me from going to church is that my husband is not keen on going, and I must admit that instead of showing him by example - I fell into sleeping in on Sunday mornings and well, I put God in the backseat of my life.  So, I walk into this church and after the first 20 minutes of praise and worship, I must have said to myself at least 15 times, "My husband would not like it here...".  Finally, I had the most calm feeling come over to me and the thought occured to me... "THIS is not about your husband.  HE is not the one who is here..."  WIth that, I realized, I was EXACTLY where I needed to be!

So I prayed... something like this:  "Open my heart to this church, put me where you need me.  Mold my life into what it needs to be.  Allow me to be an example to my husband.  Make this time about YOU and me.   Help me to be the wife, the mother and the servant that I need to be for your Lord."  

Hitman and I have begun having devotions together every night before bed.  I have been in a constant state of prayer.  I received my new FlyLady calendar and for the first time ever - I managed to plan 2 full weeks of meals.  I was sick on Monday so I did not go to work.  On Tuesday I went to work feeling on top of the world!  I had my home in order.  However, the longer I was at work - the more I thought about home.  By the time I got home on Tuesday night - I was almost homesick.  Wednesday is my normal day off.  Hitman and I ran some errands and did our schoolwork.  On Thursday morning, I awakened feeling like I had been hit by a MACK truck!  I SOOOO did not want to go to work.  Every bit of joy in work was gone.  At 10:00 AM on Thursday morning I was called into a meeting with my boss and Human Resources.  Our HR Representative told me in a very somber tone that she was very sorry, but because of budget constraints and cutbacks, they were reducing recruiters in the Permanent Placement Division.

Now, I'm fairly certain that the woman thought that I was about to have a breakdown because the smile on my face was HUGE!  They offered me a months severance and told me that they would not contest my unemployment.  All I could think was, THANK YOU JESUS!  The only trepidation that I felt was calling my dear husband and telling him that I no longer had a job.  Bless his heart, all he said was, "Pack your things and come home.  I'll be here.  I love you and it will be ok"

With a light step I walked back into my office and chatted with the HR Rep and my boss while I packed my belongings.  I thanked them for the blessing of working at the company and told them that if they had to let someone go - I was glad that they had chosen me.

I was home on Thursday in time to make sure that my boys ate a good lunch and to spend time with them.  I can't honestly tell you that I haven't had moments when I've been angry.  Losing your job isn't fun...even under the best of circumstances...but I recognize it for what it is... my pride is hurt!  And I know that my pride will survive!  I am just so thankful for this opportunity to be home.  I LOVE that for the first time in my sons life, when someone asks me what I do, I can say, "I'm a Stay At Home Mom!" 

WOOHOO!  Thank you Jesus!

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