Well, since mine isn't really a note worthy love story .. in that it well, crashed and burned ... I thought i'd share it here, separate from the ongoing love stories .

Why do I want to share it?  Because at the time, it was a great love story, and from it came five of the most precious ongoing love stories of my life.  I've been thinking about it off and on for a bit now - since the other thread was started, really.  So here it is.  I hope it doesn't offend anyone that I've shared it here.


It'll be in 3 parts, cause well, I can't say anything in 100 words, that 1000 couldn't say better



I was a shy, awkward, self-conscious, girl of 15.  I had precisely 3 boyfriends in my entire life.  I was not boy crazy, and indeed felt I was rather unattractive to the opposite sex, so didn't even bother with the whole craze thing.

My first boyfriend, Wade was 18, I was 15.  Mum had always said no dating until I was 16.  However, Mum also was a sucker for a good looking man - just like my grandmother too.  Mum was, self-admitted, completely boy crazy for the majority of her life - even though she was never promiscuous, she said the possibility was there for her to have been.  Wade was gorgeous.  I'm talking Hollywood gorgeous.  I felt very unworthy of his attentions, but quite excited too.  He asked me 'out'.  I asked my Mum if I could, and she agreed, so long as we weren't alone with each other.  So we started going out.

I adhere to Mum's rule, for the first 2 months or so, but eventually rebelled, with Wade's urgings, and we would sneak off, at lunch time, to his Aunt's place - where he was living - to ... ah ... neck.  That was as physical as I'd let it get.  Kissing, hugging, hand-holding, etc. - but not the BIG etc. 

He definitely wanted more, and pressured me for more.  Did the whole "if you love me you will" routine.  I did not like being pressured and balked - badly.  After another month of him pushing and pushing at me, and realising I had a very large and deeply rooted stubborn streak, he began to 'cool' towards me.  I honestly didn't notice, but was glad the pressuring had stopped. The icing on the cake was when he took my friend, Yasmin, to the beauty pageant at school.  She was a contestant, and Wade was still ticked with me, because I declined the nomination to be a contestant.  I dislike, heartily, being the center of attention .. and dislike - on a nuclear level - public speaking.  Being a member of the Queen's Court, would require both.  I opted out - Wade was furious with me.

Yasmin was stunning, and sweet, and new to the school - and my friend.  Wade had asked me if he could take her, because in his words, "I love being the center of things, and if I go with you, I won't be.  If I go with Yasmin, everyone will be looking at me, and her."  I told him it would bother me, but it was ultimately his choice.  Yasmin, to her credit, came and asked me if I was okay with it all.  I'm incredibly non-confrontational, and I really liked Yasmin - I said it was up to Wade.  She is of Eastern decent, pakistani - I think?, and was 'promised' to a boy back in the home land, and was very serious about her commitment to her fiance back there, and her faith.  I knew nothing would ever happen between her and Wade.  Also, her brother, my other friend, Zahar, was going as her chaperone.

They went.  I was hurt.  I didn't tell anyone, and just bled a lot on the inside.  Our relationship changed completely after that.  During our last month of 'going steady', he seemed bent on putting me in awkward embarrassing situations.  I now realise it was to get me to break it off with him.  I was naive, loyal and just simply wasn't getting the picture.  Finally, he told me point blank ... "I'm looking for some one who'll give me what I want ... sex and the spotlight.  If you aren't her, you need to either change that or move along."  I mustered all my courage and told him, he wasn't who *I* wanted, and we were finished.  I wasn't handing myself to him, because he wanted sex.  We were over. 

I hurt for quite a while, but eventually got over it.  We became friends later on.  We lost touch after highschool.  Although Gordon and I did go see him a few times after we were married. The last time I saw him IRL was when CDee was about 9 - 10 months of age.  Now  he has gained notoriety, and the spotlight he so craved, throughout New Brunswick and the g@y community for having the distinction of being the first married g@y couple in that province.  Oh the joy ..

I either send them to Redlight districts, or to other men .

continued ...

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