Basic training Camp, with the Air Cadets.

two weeks in July   


The neat thing is, aside from him getting to go off to camp for two weeks (he did go to a Christian camp about 4 years ago ... but that's all) he gets PAID to go to this one.

He'll be paid $120 for just going to the camp.  Way cool.  Cause I'll not be paying him for JUST living at the house


Seriously though, he worked very hard to get selected to go.  There was 51 applications, for only 32 spots.  We're stoked that he got picked!



Ike is the first alternate for the Survival Camp with the Air Cadets.  This is also a two week camp.  It pays more ... we think it was 160$ for the two weeks.  There were only 3 positions available for this one.  He was #4 on the list ... ah well, it'll all work out, if it's suppose to!

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Between last Wednesday and today .. I've had about 3 - 4 phone calls from CDee's boss (owner of the company - Danny), and his immediate day-to-day boss/head foreman (Danny's son, Gordie).

Every time, they get me they say the same thing:

"Oh, Lisa *pause* ... sorry, I thought I was calling CDee."

Today, I said to Gordon (the boss fella, not XH)

"Do you and your Dad have CDee's cell number?  He laughed sheepishly and said, "ummm ... Yeah, I just keep dialing the wrong number."


I said, "Have a good day, dear .... "

He says, "Yeah .. thanks ... and I'll try not to call you again today.  I'll tell Dad he should watch how he's diaing too."

I just


These two men, who think they are so different from one another, both keep calling me by accident - hilarious.

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I swear, she must be coming into heat ... or is already in.


She's a cranky little so and so, these last few days. She's in there now, snarlin' and grumpin' at poor old Boaz.  She is NOT in a playful mood these last few days.  Boaz, on the other hand, is thoroughly confused at why his buddy is being such a snoot today, yesterday ... day before.  You can see him thinking, "What's up with you, Kezi?"

She just snippity barks at him, puts him in his place, and stalks off.

Mind you, Shelby (kitten) doesn't care about Kezi's off moods - she comes up and bats her, just because ... then runs off (I think she's snickering while she scoots off). Kezi is not amused.
If it weren't so terribly annoying, it'd be really .

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Yesterday, as I think I said somewhere here .. was the big Annual Parade and Review at Air Cadets.  Huge event.

after the Parade and review part, there were some static displays of various Cadet related extracurricular activities and events.  Band, camps, uniform displays, rifle range, effective speaking booths etc.  One of the static displays, and activity, my boys have been involved with this year, was the Air Modeling club.

They had a really cool demonstration of a hovercraft (made by the club), some rockets, stealth bomber models etc.

and

Hot air balloons.

They made them using dry cleaners plastic (bags), some light plastic tubbing, some copper wire (formed into a upside down hook) and cotton balls doused in a 70/30 water to alcohol ratio.  They had set several of these off throughout the day, to delightful squeals of joy from the younger siblings, and the admiring murmurs of Dads, Mums, Grandparents, older siblings, friends etc.

The last one of the day was set off (most people had filtered out and were on their way home).  Captain M. (the ranking officer in charge of the Air modeling club, was there.  The last balloon went up, no problem at all.  However, something went a miss in the air, and instead of the cotton ball simply going out once all the alcohol fuel had been used up ... the tubing caught fire.

Ike and Captain M. were trying to bring it down without incident to the young ones about.  As it got almost within arms reach of ke - for whatever reason, Captain M. (guy about my age or so), blew on it.  It had begun dripping hot melted plastic wax, and I think he was hoping it would blow out the still burning plastic.

Unfortunately ... he blue the hot dripping plastic right over Ike's upturned face.  It fell still burning, on to the side of his mouth and lower cheek (close to where chin begins, up by the mouth).  Ike wiped it off, almost immediately (burning his fingers on one hand, in a small 'Y' formation).  I wiped the rest off, but it wasn't hot anymore.  Sadly, what I wiped off, also took a significant few layers of Ike's skin too - by his mouth/lower cheek area.

We took him to the Pharmacy - lots faster to get a quick consult there, then spend several hours at any of the local Hospital.  Pharmacist was rather laissez-faire about the whole think.  Said to go home and put cold compresses on it, nothing else was required.

Today ... it looks a bit worse .

I had him put polysporin on it ... but it is now an open, weeping wound.  I'm very much considering taking him to the clinic, and seeing what they say.  It's not particularly large .... it's about 1.5" long, by about 1" long in the other direction.  It goes right into the corner of his mouth ... he lost a good piece of his lip in that corner too.  His hand has lost it's redness, and just has 3 small blisters on it now - so it's fine.

anyway, for healing, and no infection to set in, would be appreciated.

Sorry about the long-winded explanation.

______________________________________

Face is still not healing well. Because of it's position on his face, right at the corner of his mouth, every time he talks, yawns or eats, the wound gets re-opened. :)

We're putting Aloe on it now ... can't find anyone that will perscribe anything else for it.  I think we'll take him to our outpatients clinic tomorrow.

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My homepage (which came with the IE browser) is Sympatico.  They have all kinds of snippets on it. News, weather, business stuff, sports ... and entertainment section.  I admit, I like browsing the titles.  Sometimes, if it's about a Canadian personality or another person of interest to me, I'll click on the link.


this little entertainment news snippet, definitely caught my eye.  For those that may not know ... Kelly Pickler was a former contestant on the 2006 (I think) American Idol program.  She didn't win, but did get in the top 10.  She is now recording under a country label.  Jordin Tootoo is a Canadian hockey player, but plays on an American team (Nashville something or others.)

They are dating, apparently.

This is part of a quoted text on a blurb about their new relationship and Kelly going to meet Jordin's family THIS SUMMER ....

"I am this country bumpkin and he's an Eskimo," said Pickler, who apparently plans to visit his hometown of Churchill, Manitoba this summer. "I'm going to build an igloo!"


couple of things .. he's Inuk (Inuit - not Eskimo.  The Inuit people do not like the term Eskimo, they look on it as up there with the "N" word for black people - they don't like it.  Some one should probably tell Miss Pickler, before she refers to Mama Tootoo, as the Eskimo mother of Jordin .  I would be interested to watch the process of igloo building ... in Churchill - IN THE SUMMER ... .  You know, sometimes all the wrong stereotypes, can rather get to you. Mind you ... Igloos are NOT the norm anymore, they are mostly used by hunters and 'campers' (though there certainly will be a few brave souls who go the igloo root (in the WINTER time) - but well, you know

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He was at the rehearsal for tomorrow's BIG Parade and Review event, for Air CAdets.

He brought his DS (hand held game system), in it's carry case, with 4 of his games, and one of CDee's.  He hid it behind the garment bag, holding his uniform.

He had to leave everything, for about an hour ... came back ....his DS case was empty, except for his wallet (nothing was really in it anyway).

He's just devastated.

Before he's judged for being so upset about a foolish gaming system, you need to know a couple of things.  Denny only has two toys ... Lego and this system - that's it.  We are not, as most of you know, a wealthy family, by any stretch.  We try to be frugal, and yet still maybe have one or two nice special things per child.  This was Denny's only Christmas present from me this year (the game system and a game).  I found this at an unbelievably low price, a return to Futureshop, at Christmas time.  To replace it, and all the games lost, at normal market prices would be over $450.  We do not, and will not have that kind of money.  He knows this.  He knows we will not be replacing the system, unless the Lord decides to bring another totally awesome deal my way (I only paid $65 vs. $150).  Stolen is simply gone - unless someone returns it too him.

Denny informed the highest ranking Cadet Officer - a Captain.  They did a cursory check of the remaining children's bags (but some had left before Denver noticed it was missing).  They will be doing an announcement on Tuesday night (next meeting), and will be noting to them that all the rooms in that building have security cameras set up outside of them, to record who goes in and out, and when.  They are hoping that will be enough to have the thief come forward and return the system.  I'm more jaded than that, and honestly don't think he'll ever see it again.

When he called me he was sobbing, uncontrollably.  He said when he found it missing, his whole body went tingling, and he felt lightheaded for nearly 15 minutes afterward.  They made him lay down, his colouring was so bad, and his breathing so laboured (he was also trying to be a man, and not cry in front of his commanding officer, squadron mates (still left) and their families.  XH is taking him, on the counsel of the Cadet officers, to the Police station to make a statement and report the robbery.  Then they have to go to the Public Security comptrollers office, to request the video tapes be seized and scrutinised.  He does know the exact hour it would have gone missing, so that could help narrow things down a bit.

Anyway .. I'm not asking for prayer for the system and games to be returned, as it seems rather a shallow thing, in light of all the real hurts and difficulties afflicting families I know.  However, if you think of my young man, who is enough of a boy, that he really wants his Mama to hug him (and I can't - and XH is not huggy for olders ), just pray he is comforted in his boyish grief of a treasure (to him) gone missing.  My heart hurts for him.

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I in the morning,
I'd in the evening,
I'd of love between my brothers and my sisters
all over this land.


Sigh .. I love to sing, but I'm not so good at it.  I wish I was so the dog, Boaz, wouldn't howl when I sing.  Silly Husky, doesn't he know he's not suppose to howl when I sing? 

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two to go.
 
The easy two are done though. Now to sit and try and figure out the last two.


Report Cards (for XH ... he wants them Today, like ... ahhh ...2 months ago!!!!, AND we're not even done the school year yet )


and Progress Reports

So I finished grading Belle and Michael's Math, and other work.  I've plugged all the numbers in, for terms 1 and 2 (we're still working on 3 ).  I've written up *for my eyes only* (not XH - it's a barometer for me to see what I need to change, and what is working etc.) Progress reports on both of them. (3 pages minimum - each.  It's where being wordy is not so good

Not 3 minutes ago, I finished Michael's actual 2006/07 Report Card though.   Belle's was finished at 2:10am (this morning ).

Now for the harder ones.  See, these two will work for me, no questions asked - how high, how much, Mummy ... they are dreams to teach.

The other two?  It's a wonder I have any hair or teeth left ... from pulling on it - them!  .  What a joy this is going to be.

Breathe ... just go do it.

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Here we are - not even in the typical Canadian muggy hot icky summer weather time ... Think 1st of July to mid/late August ....


it's 33C = 91.4F, for the SECOND straight day in a row.

I'm about ready to melt away.


They are predicting hotter/muggier temperatures, than normal, for Canadians this summer - but I thought I had some time to prepare for it.

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I'm tired of the running all over the place!


I keep making these mental lists of things I want to do, in my home, with our school .... for fun - but at home, for myself and our family.  Everyday I do this.  Everyday, for the last several days - I have not come any where near completing that imaginary list.  Something always seems to get in the way - sometimes, it's even ME!


It started last Wednesday (well, honestly, it was probably further back, but that's when I started noticing it).  I wanted to get the upstairs bedrooms all cleaned out.  You know - deep clean, deep de-cluttering, deep organising.  So I made these head plans.

Everyday .. things seem to pop up, which weren't planned for, or thought of .. or whatever.  Then before I know it, schedules are non-existent.  Everyone is sleeping in, daily. Nothing really seems to get accomplished, and I start doing the  thing, because I STILL can't get my head plans for Monday done - and now it's Wednesday of the FOLLOWING week! 


I just want to get my house clean.  Really clean.  The kind of clean where my daughter's little friend, can knock at the door, and I don't go into panic mode because she might need/want to come into my home! .  It is better than it was, but it has a looooooooooooong way to go, to be even little buddy comin' over to play ready.

I have a fairly unusual visitation schedule coming up, where I'll have no children for 4 of the next 5 weekends - very odd (never happened before) .. maybe then I can finally make some good head plans, and then make some real headway on them.

Or maybe I should just stop making head plans, and learn to live in status quo?  Nah .. that'll drive me round the loopy bin, in no time flat!

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A moment in my life I'm seriously considering sending to the comic, Bill Engvall, who coined the phrase "Here's your sign", and uses it throughout his stand-up comedy routines and shows.  My family is qutie familiar with Mr. Engvall, and love his shows and comedy - especially his "Here's your sign" routines.


I'm in the local Canadian Tire store, in my small town.  I'm looking all over the place for bolt cutters.  After exhausting my search of their 'cutting' tools display, I finally gave up and asked for assistance from a young lady who worked there.

I was standing about 8 feet from her, when I asked her:

"Excuse me, can you tell me which aisle I might find BOLT CUTTERS in?"

She looked at me kind of odd, and actually turned her head a little to the side (think a cute puppy look ) and looked very perplexed at me.  Then, I kid you not ... she asked me, "What would you be using them for?"

I honestly didn't know how to answer her, without sounding like I was dissing her intellect, but after about 10 - 15sec of indecisiveness  ... I finally said, quietly ... "Um, to cut ,,,,  bolts."

CDee, who was behind me ... started snickering quietly, but had to leave the aisle completely, when she said "Ohhhhhhhhhh." ... really drawn out like that too, like it didn't occur to her you could/would use BOLT CUTTERS to cut BOLTS.  You know, like ... 'ohhhhhhh what a novel idea, cool!'

We both BOLTED out of there and laughed until we had to wipe tears away.  Then we both started up all over again, when I mimicked the whole thing all over again (later in the van), but instead of saying the line I did about using it to cut bolts, I joked, "Well I'm making some bread and needed them to stir the mixture! . . .. HERE'S YOUR SIGN"


It just tickled our funny bones so much, thought I'd share!

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Denny has been rubbing my last possible nerve these last few weeks .. I love raging testosterone levels



He was severely messing with everyone today ... when I sat him, and all the others down, to address the situation, things got sort of .... bad.


I decided, instead of leaning on my own vocabulary, and my own wants and opinions, I'd show them in the Lord's word (them - all of them, not just Denny) how their attititudes and actions were speaking louder than their professions of faith and words were.

So I was reading to them in Galations, where it talks about the flesh vs. the spirit.  I read all the fleshly stuff there first, and was shamefaced about my own behaviour of late too.  Then I read about the fruits of the spirit ...

then Denny who was still ranting says ... "so" .. "I'm hungry"... and he kept muttering "I'm hungry", throughout everything I said ... I was getting so angry, and finally let it out in a very juvenile way ...


more fruits of the flesh came flying out of me.  I dropped the Bible with a thump to the floor, and looked over at Denny, who had just finished building a little yellow 'farmer' man out of lego ... sort of a tall fella really.

I snorted at it, then smashed my hand down on it ... Farmer Yellow was smashed to all his little bits. 

We all laughed and broke the mood.  Now, they all want to finally hear what I was saying ... guess we need to do some work in all of us, hey?

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let's see:

we don't have a sanctuary anymore .. we have an auditorium (same place, new name)

we don't have Sunday School anymore ... we have Promise land (a predominantly video based program now)

we don't have 'believers' and 'unbelievers' now .. we have 'unchurched' and 'churched', 'seekers'

Major church split 1/3 left (mostly all our 'grandparents/mentors' ).  The ones that stayed, now have the gaul (leadership) to complain that we have now mentors or grandparents left
Leadership core is shifting - not clear how .. but it is shifting. 

No longer have a male ordained or divinity Univ/school pastor running the youth group.  We have a young WOMAN, who is "taking some courses" running the Youth Group.  This from a church with Brethern roots BAH!

We've had the occasional woman speaker/teacher in to teach FROM THE PULPIT!  Not what I signed up for.  The last one went all touchy feeling on us, and had the lights dimmed and everyone closing their eyes and listening to 'zen-like' music (or what I perceived as zen-like music), while meditating about life   Even CDee shook his head at that one, and said, "That didn't feel right Mum."

Old Pastor - gone ... left, willingly, took a sabbatical, left the Province!

New Pastor .... seems a bit 'off' in his theology application, sometimes, and even a novice like me, can figure that out, just don't know how to explain it affectively.

Old Youth Pastor, has now become  CO-Senior Pastor, with the new dude.  Don't know who or how this got voted in.  I'm a voting member of this church, and I never got any notification of a committee, or meeting .. nada, happening to prepare for this, and participate in this.

new Pastor .. Co-Senior ... has been in leadership at our church since last year, around this time.  He has never met me, never sought me out .... doesn't know me from a hole in the ground.  Actually, the last 3 Sundays I was in church .... he was standing right beside me, chatting to folks, and didn't even bother to ask who I was, or introduce himself or anything.  I know he has a wife, but I've never laid eyes on her - wouldn't know her from a hole in the ground, either.

Music has changed .... but oddly for the better.  About 2 years ago, we seemed to have a glorified rock band up there, with loud screaming music, by rock band wannabes.  They've left the church.  We still have contemporary music, but it does feel and sound like nice musice (course, I *do* like that kind of music, where others certainly won't - and that's okay).  The Change?  We now have women LEADING the worship.  As in, she's the boss, and all the other singers and instrument players follow her LEAD.  We've had women ON the worship team, but only in the last year and a bit, have we actually had WOMEN become the worship LEADERS. (caps for emphasises, not yelling).

Dramas (which I do rather like), Dancing (which again, I do rather like - but are quite different for us), video 'add ins' to the message.  We never really know what movie clip we'll find up there.  Last one was from Star Wars, I believe

NOW?  There is a notice on our church (I think it's still called a Church, but I'm not entirely sure, at this point) informing us that the Foyer of the church was in for a big face lift. 

All I see is Rick Warren, PDL, written all over this.  I've even found some of our pastors' recent 'inspired messages/teachings' on that www.Pastors.com site.  You know, these are the ones that while they're 'teaching' us, they mention "This week, while I was preparng today's message, I ...."  I have also, with much research discovered that The Willow Creek Assemblies/Association IS a RW/PDL affiliate.

Just venting .... not wanting to start anything.  Not knowing what I can really do about this. I"m not even sure where to start looking for a new church.  Going into a new place, won't tell me if all these changes have already happened, or, in the case of a new church, were implemented at the foundational level.  There's a new little Gospel Hall church down the way from us in my little town. I might see what that is all about.  I'm wary.  I'm weary.  I'm disheartened.

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a little history.

about 3 years ago, the stuff hit the fan - major big time, when I asked XH to meet me at a halfway point to pick up children on a Sunday afternoon.  I am, according to my "Crissy Snow" intervention and stubborn-ness to always drop off and pick up the children to and from XH's.  Up to the point of this particular day, he had increasingly asked me to meet them at a local restaurant attached to a mall, VERY close to his GF's place in the city she lives in.   This is not how it is suppose to happen.  According to the agreements, I am ONLY to pick them up at his place of residence, which is about 20 minutes from the GF's place/city.  Now, it is only fair to note, that at this timing (3 years ago) healing was still not occuring in my poor heart, and I was very hurt and jealous, angry and just everything, about the GF and her role in his life AND that of my children.  I agreed to the new pick up arrangements, because I'm incredibly non-confrontational.  This went on for MONTHS.  I would, on the outside acqueince (sp?) to his demand, but I would be steaming and stewing on the inside about it.

I knew it was because they had spent the day 'playing family' at HER house ... and it just tore me up inside.  He would never admit that is what it was though.  He always said, "I'll be in the area shopping, or getting my car fixed or whatever.  Her place is a good 20 minutes+ away from his, and he actually has better shopping areas in his city.  I knew he was lying ... and it all still hurt so much it was almost unbearable to go there, so close to their happy little charade (my words, my thoughts) and pick up *MY* children.

The stuff hit the fan, because I was very sick, and CDee was sick and tired (after a particularly arduous dive meet), I didn't feel like driving all the way in to his place, and asked him to meet me at a halfway point instead.  He refused, unless he could bring his GF too.  I still, though the Lord has brought me much healing, don't feel terribly en-amoured about meeting up with his GF, and I felt positively distraught at meeting up with her, even by accident, at that point.  He refused to budge.  I refused to budge.  I honestly didn't see why she had to make the 15 minute drive ... why she had to be there at all.   I really disliked her (not personally, more the idea of her), at that point.  Finally, I caved, because I couldn't handle seeing her ... and drove - with great anger burning in my heart - to his place.  When I had collected our children, and they were sitting in the van - which was parked in front of the foyer to XH's apartment building .... XH and I had it out. 

It was a massively awful, embarrassing, very public scream fest - for both of us.  It was the first time I had stood up to XH, since before we had actually married!!!  At one point I enraged their father so much - hurling words of truth and conviction at him he raised his hand to strike me.  I flinched back, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw CDee (then 15) start out of the van.  XH saw it too, and calmed down, lower his clenched fist immediately.  Still he hurled accusations, venom and poison - hatred, down on me, but it was back to verbal, no physical.  XH had NEVER, in all our years together raised a hand to me - so this was a tremendous shock to my heart and system.  To see such anger and such hurt and such awfulness in this man I once loved so deeply - shocked me to  my core - and shocked me out of my self-imposed pity party corner. I had so much anger and hurt in me ... it was frightening - it all came spinning out.  To be fair, it was also the very beginning of my healing process though too.  It would take another 2 years to finally enter that horrific last level of healing (which is/was necessary for my total healing), but this was the start.

The children did not hear the fight, but they could see it.  I think we both grew a lot that day, but it was a hard day.  I didn't say anything to him that wasn't the truth, nor did he to me ... but it was draining to have so much truth coming at you/us at one time. From that point on, XH, with only one exception, has been absolutely meticulous about adhering to the court appointed pick up place.  I have also been meticulous in adhering to my part of things.


Anyway, ... that's background.

During the last year, as most of you here can attest to, much healing has gone on in my heart - toward XH, and myself.  I know the Lord has been most gracious with me, and has allowed a blessed peace, about my life now (and to come), XH (his life ... with or without GF), our children etc.  So, basically, in a nut shell ... I've grown up, finally.

A few minutes ago, XH called me.  One of my peeves with him, is he tries to manipulate me, and is NOT open and honest with me.  This has, unfortunately happened from way back, even before our marital break down began (which I've shared here).  The phone call went like this.

XH (very chipper - always a tip off that I'm about to be manipulated - he doesn't know this , but I do).

XH: "Hey, does Denver have band practice today?"
me: "No, it was canceled due to the bit Parade and Review happening next week."
XH: "Oh!?"
Me: "I sent you emails to explain to you what was happening next week, over 1.5 weeks ago.  Didn't you read it?"
XH: *with a self deprecating chuckle* "Ah, NO.  I should do that, huh?"
Me: "Yes, and you should probably read the one I sent you 3 weeks ago, as it drastically affects June's visitation schedule - and you need to plan for that."
XH: *chuckling, good humouredly (he only does this kind of stuff when he's trying to 'talk me round' to something he wants - so is buttering me up)* .. "Yep, I'll do that .. right away" *more chuckling and animatedly talking and upbeat etc.*
Me: "So, what's up?"
XH: "Well, I wondered if you'd mind ..... or if it would fit in with your plans (more manipulation .. all done good humouredly, with lots of chuckling and laughing and buddy-ole-pal stuff), to maybe pick the children up at Value Village, today.  *hastens to add* ... I know how much you love Value Village."

*Note: ...XH's GF, lives ALMOST directly behind Value Village, in a town house.*

Me: "Yes, I guess you could say the children and I could practically be card carrying members of the Hooray for Value Village Club.  Unfortunately, I hadn't planned on going there today."
XH: "Would it be *chuckle, giggle* okay to maybe stop by there today?"
Me: "Maybe."

XH: *sighing with obvious relief*

Me: "I'm assuming this is because you are at your GF's *I actually used her name* for the afternoon with the children, and you don't want to truck all the way back to your place, right?"
XH: *very awkward silence, followed by a small chuckle, with less buddy-ole-pal-ness, in his voice* ... "Ah ... Yeah, I guess."
Me: "Now, was that so hard to say?"

XH: "Was there anything wrong with how I said it?"
Me: "Well ... it wasn't completely on the up and up, talking me round like it was my idea to go shopping at Value Village, and THEN pick up the children there.  Hmmm?"
XH: "Yeah ... well ... I guess not.  Sorry about that."
Me:  "I don't mind making the occasional departure from our agreements,with regard to pick-up location, Gordon, but I much prefer honesty, to manipulation.  Also, I don't want it to become a habit.  So, yes, I'll come today, for the children ... and please, go read your emails!"

My tone was light, friendly, but no-nonsense too .... I'm tired of being manipulated and pushed around by this man.  We ended the call on friendly terms, and at no time did it even sound like either of us was angry or whatever, with the other. 

Thank you Father, for helping me to be better woman, than the shrew I'd shown myself to be, those 3 years ago.

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I finally got my new glasses, yesterday.  I broke my old ones, about 2.5 months ago.  I didn't have the time, or money to replace them.  Unfortunately, I am considered quite close to legally blind (unable to drive a car safely, etc.) without them.  When I remove my glasses, I can not see, clearly, more than 12 inches in front of my faces.  I guess, it's more like about 10, then things start going fuzzy at the edges.

Anyway, with CDee needing my car everyday, Monday to Friday, for school, I haven't been able get to an appointment.  And it hasn't been so bad, cause I wasn't able to afford them either - at that point. So, I just put some tape on them (they snapped at the nose-bridge area), and wore them that way. 

So, CDee only needs my car Tuesdays and Thursdays now, so last Friday I went and had my eyes checked.  They had changed.  Some of the children and I, went eye-glass shopping last Friday.  I picked out a nice strong, 'modernish' looking pair, which came with clip on sunglasses too.  Got them at $100 off.  So, even with my $100 off, they still came ot $396 .  I will get $150 of that back, because I'm covered for eye wear/medical/dental on XH's insurance (court ordered).

CDee and Ike are both working part-time right now. They are with the same landscaping company, CDee has been with for 4 years now.  Ike works Wed, Thu, Fri. (schools with me Mon and Tues), and CDee is working Mon, Wed and Fri (Schooling at Cartier, Tue and Thu afternoons).  CDee will be done at school next Friday.  He can't wait.  He wants to get back to full time work (and wages ).  This year, his boss has mentioned - a few times - about wanting to put CDee in charge of a small planting crew.  He said, Danny - the boos, that he wants to make CDee a Junior Foreman this year, with an eye to full foreman next.  This would be wonderful for CDee, especially for his experience, confidence and resume. 

I see ke really coming into his own, with working too.  He lacked so much confidence, so much of his life. I see him feeling stronger within, and also gaining experience, good work ethic and good character too.  The mentoring he has been receiving in woodworking has also helped him gain some balance, and clarity about who he is, and where he wants to go in life.  He's been apprenticing under a master woodcraftsman, for the last 9 months.  He'll finish his first year, in June.  It's been sacrifice for him - and us, but well worth it.

Air Cadets, has been a fabulous experience for both Ike and Denny.  Denny found out he loves to volunteer at the local Veterans Hospital.  He thinks the old gentlemen, he helps there, are just so sweet and cool.. and neat.  He also found out he is good at affective public speaking.  Very neat.  He did his second public speaking stint, this past Tuesday on Turtles.  He said it was cool, and he was pleased some of the other cadets wanted to know more, about Turtles, when he was finished his speech.  He's learned to play Tenor Drum, a little bit of Bass and Snare drums too.  It's all been good.

We got our washer and dryer yesterday.  We feel, *I* feel tremendously blessed with them too. The Father was gracious in providing for them, and we sorely needed them.  It's the most expensive thing, for a house - or myself - I've ever bought.  I felt absolutely decadent, going into that store and being able to pick out the top of the line, instead of the bottom or baseline, like I normally make do with.  Getting something totally new, was a novel experience too.  Most of the furniture and appliances, cars etc, in (around) my home, are used. Generally very used, and very loved, by the time we get them.  I'm okay with that, and normally just feel tickled to dixies that we were blessed with the item.  It was such a total departure though, for me to buy new, buy awesome.  The laundry is getting caught up.  I suspect it'llstill take a good 3 - 5 days to get it all done though. Six months without a decent reliablly working washer/dryer set, has set me back a long ways in my efforts to bring harmony and balance to our home.

We have a kitten now. Belle is the proud owner of one tiny kitten, named Shelby.  I'm normally not a cat person at all.  I like kittens, but not after they become cats.  Cats are so arrogant and independent.  It irritates me . This little one is such a sweet jewel, I'm hoping she never becomes a cat in my eyes.  To that end we refer to her as "Kitty" or "Kitten" all the time.  I told the children, I never want to call her a cat.  I have some pretty awful experiences with cats, so this will help me maintain my odd little happy place, where tiny Shelby is concerned LOL.  .

I've been going to Curves now, since the 23rd of March. Unfortunately, other than a bit more energy, and lots of aches and pains .. I don't really seem to be attaining much benefit from the $$$ and effort.  Perhaps it's because I wasn't terribly faithful about going, for the first month and a bit.  I've been able to get there 3 times a week, now, for the last 3 weeks.  I do feel more 'peppy' than I use to, but, as is evidenced by my lack of true progress in my online Biggest Loser Challenge - not much 'fat' moving off this little chub-ball of a lady. 

Tis okay, I'll keep plugging away.  I found a very good sale on both the Curves "living it" program, and the South Beach programs (HUGE discounted price) - so I ordered both, to see what they were all about.  Perhaps one of them, or a combination of them, will inspire my old bod to release her death grip on the fat cells

well ... a bunch of 'stuff' .. but thought I'd share.

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I finally got my new glasses, yesterday.  I broke my old ones, about 2.5 months ago.  I didn't have the time, or money to replace them.  Unfortunately, I am considered quite close to legally blind (unable to drive a car safely, etc.) without them.  When I remove my glasses, I can not see, clearly, more than 12 inches in front of my faces.  I guess, it's more like about 10, then things start going fuzzy at the edges.

Anyway, with CDee needing my car everyday, Monday to Friday, for school, I haven't been able get to an appointment.  And it hasn't been so bad, cause I wasn't able to afford them either - at that point. So, I just put some tape on them (they snapped at the nose-bridge area), and wore them that way. 

So, CDee only needs my car Tuesdays and Thursdays now, so last Friday I went and had my eyes checked.  They had changed.  Some of the children and I, went eye-glass shopping last Friday.  I picked out a nice strong, 'modern-ish' looking pair, which came with clip on sunglasses too.  Got them at $100 off.  So, even with my $100 off, they still came ot $396 .  I will get $150 of that back, because I'm covered for eye wear/medical/dental on XH's insurance (court ordered).

CDee and IKe are both working part-time right now. They are with the same landscaping company, CDee has been with for 4 years now.  Ike works Wed, Thu, Fri. (schools with me Mon and Tues), and CDee is working Mon, Wed and Fri (Schooling at Cartier, Tue and Thu afternoons).  CDee will be done at school next Friday.  He can't wait.  He wants to get back to full time work (and wages ).  This year, his boss has mentioned - a few times - about wanting to put CDee in charge of a small planting crew.  He said, Danny - the boss, that he wants to make CDee a Junior Foreman this year, with an eye to full foreman next.  This would be wonderful for CDee, especially for his experience, confidence and resume. 

I see Ike really coming into his own, with working too.  He lacked so much confidence, so much of his life. I see him feeling stronger within, and also gaining experience, good work ethic and good character too.  The mentoring he has been receiving in woodworking has also helped him gain some balance, and clarity about who he is, and where he wants to go in life.  He's been apprenticing under a master woodcraftsman, for the last 9 months.  He'll finish his first year, in June.  It's been sacrifice for him - and us, but well worth it.

Air Cadets, has been a fabulous experience for both Ike and Denny.  Denny found out he loves to volunteer at the local Veterans Hospital.  He thinks the old gentlemen, he helps there, are just so sweet and cool.. and neat.  He also found out he is good at affective public speaking.  Very neat.  He did his second public speaking stint, this past Tuesday on Turtles.  He said it was cool, and he was pleased some of the other cadets wanted to know more, about Turtles, when he was finished his speech.  He's learned to play Tenor Drum, a little bit of Bass and Snare drums too.  It's all been good.

We got our washer and dryer yesterday.  We feel, *I* feel tremendously blessed with them too. The Father was gracious in providing for them, and we sorely needed them.  It's the most expensive thing, for a house - or myself - I've ever bought.  I felt absolutely decadent, going into that store and being able to pick out the top of the line, instead of the bottom or baseline, like I normally make do with.  Getting something totally new, was a novel experience too.  Most of the furniture and appliances, cars etc, in (around) my home, are used. Generally very used, and very loved, by the time we get them.  I'm okay with that, and normally just feel tickled to dixies that we were blessed with the item.  It was such a total departure though, for me to buy new, buy awesome.  The laundry is getting caught up.  I suspect it'llstill take a good 3 - 5 days to get it all done though. Six months without a decent reliablly working washer/dryer set, has set me back a long ways in my efforts to bring harmony and balance to our home.

We have a kitten now. Belle is the proud owner of one tiny kitten, named Shelby.  I'm normally not a cat person at all.  I like kittens, but not after they become cats.  Cats are so arrogant and independent.  It irritates me . This little one is such a sweet jewel, I'm hoping she never becomes a cat in my eyes.  To that end we refer to her as "Kitty" or "Kitten" all the time.  I told the children, I never want to call her a cat.  I have some pretty awful experiences with cats, so this will help me maintain my odd little happy place, where tiny Shelby is concerned LOL.  .

I've been going to Curves now, since the 23rd of March. Unfortunately, other than a bit more energy, and lots of aches and pains .. I don't really seem to be attaining much benefit from the $$$ and effort.  Perhaps it's because I wasn't terribly faithful about going, for the first month and a bit.  I've been able to get there 3 times a week, now, for the last 3 weeks.  I do feel more 'peppy' than I use to, but, as is evidenced by my lack of true progress in the Haven Biggest Loser Challenge - not much 'fat' moving off this little chub-ball of a lady. 

Tis okay, I'll keep plugging away.  I found a very good sale on both the Curves "living it" program, and the South Beach programs (HUGE discounted price) - so I ordered both, to see what they were all about.  Perhaps one of them, or a combination of them, will inspire my old bod to release her death grip on the fat cells

well ... a bunch of 'stuff' .. but thought I'd share.

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Originally posted on my web haven:

Hello .... 

I'd like to to all the other ladies filtering in from the General Board, to the first official meeting, in May, of the Click and Read Anonymous support group.

My name is Lisa.  Specifically, Lisa Michaela.

As the group is , I won't bother sharing that my last name is Bratwurst. 


I want to share my struggles with Clicking & Reading. I have struggled, mightily, with my addiction to Clicking and Reading, for almost 6.5 years now.  I thought I had a handle on things, but recent events have shown me, clearly, it is a growing problem for me ... not lessening.  I click and read constantly throughout my days.

Early in the morning, late into the nights, throughout mydays, I Click & Read here ... I Click & Read there, I seem to Click & Read everywhere.  Sometimes, I find myself sitting here, repeatedly clicking and reading, even when there is no longer anything NEW to click and read.  I find myself sneaking illicit moments away from my school time, my chores, my family - just to feed my need for Clicking and Reading.  

To my shame, I have even been guilty of Clicking and RE-reading, when nothing new has even been posted  .  Late at night, when no one is around .... I click and read.  At meal times, when the family is sitting down to a meal - I sneak away from the table, sidle up to my keyboard, and Click and Read, or even Click and Refresh (**) Sometimes, I sit here Clicking and Reading, so much that before I know it, entire days have totally slipped away, unnoticed, unfilled, with little accomplished. .  Lately, I notice an alarming trend towards clicking and reading on posts that have nothing to do with me, and indeed, are often even specifically labelled with someone else's name.  It's like an addiction .. I can't seem to stop this secret Clicking and Reading of mine.


I've tried many different ways of handling Clicking and ReadingITIS on my own.  The patch (putting bandaids on all my fingers), special chewing gums, computer locks, hypnotherapy ( j/k), acupuncture, aroma therapy, mud baths, music therapy (didn't work out, since I need to click on the links to start the music), eating cucumbers, avoidance, abstinence, mentoring with a former Click and Read survivor, and even laundry therapy and dish therapy.  All to no avail. 

This .... rush, I get from Clicking and Reading, is taking over my life.  However, here I am, among friends - friends who know what I'm going through - have even been there before - themselves.  I know, with the encouragement and guidance of my friends here at Click & Read - I'll find success - at last.

*smattering of claps break out, by the other 2 members of the C&R group, who Clicked and Read, but didn't Post *

I am a successful graduate, but always a suvivor of C&PA ... (Click and POST Anonymous).  I still attend the regular meetings, and am proud to say I have been Click and mostly POST free for a number of weeks now.  OOPs, except this post, of course ... but it's only one, and it's after 10am ... and who's reading it anyway?

So ... who wants to go next?



Administrative note: (**) The meeting for Click and Refresh will be held this coming Friday - at various times throughout the day). 

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our clothes wash!


Yep, that's right.  They are watching our clothes wash.  After being severely curtailed in our ability to do laundry, properly, for nearly 6 months .... we had a new set delivered today.  (I used my Christmas trip money - I got the go ahead from the gift-er).  We bought a top loading Whirlpool Cabrio set.  Large capacity washer (4.5 cubic ft) and dryer (7.5 cu ft).

They have, for those that don't own this type, a see thru, glass lid/door.  The children are down there ooohing, ahhing and even , when the machines are doing their thing.  The children are totally en-amoured with "Horatio" (Washer) and "Fiona" (Dryer.  They felt they were too nice to NOT have names .


Me?  I'm beyond excited.  We're so far behind on laundry it seems insurmountable at times. Now, I'm able to do a large garbage bag load, all at once.  That's about 2.5 - 3 loads of my old standard washer!!! .  So, instead of taking me about 20+ loads ... it'll be about 10 - 12!

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Yes ...

today, in church I walked in to see a large blow up wading pool set up on the stage (where the band and later the pastor do their thing).  I was definitely curious, but took my seat and waiting patiently.


About 90% of the way through the hard to follow and yet VERY brief teaching today .... the co-senior pastor (the new guy that came Spring of 2006) took out a can of diet-coke.  He then proceeded to make some analogy about how when we allow the Lord to reside in our hearts ... *popped in the Mento, at this point* things will bubble up and pour out of us .. He'll explode in our lives  - in a good way.  Then he took a 2L coke and stepped into the wading pool - fully dressed.  Proceeded to further speculate on how it would look if a whole church were to embrace the changes that God wants in that church.  Then he dumped about 10 mentos in the bottle.  Of course, it shot up in the air, fizzy and spewing coke and mentos inside the pool.

The children and I talked about the Mentos and Coke analogy on the way home.  Denny thought it was all cool).  He argued with me (in a friendly way) that this was a great analogy of God's love and hopes for us.  I argued back, that it was not. 

I felt, both the can of soda and the 2L bottle of soda, are lessened, with the addition of the mentos - not made better.  Initially they are, but when the fizz all settles, a different story could be told. I felt the Mentos/Coke visual was more indicative of the World's influence and toxicity in our lives, if we didn't allow the Lord to infill us with His sweet Holy Spirit and accept the gift of salvation by our Saviour, Jesus.

I said, look at it .... the soda was sitting there all filled up and just bursting with efferescence (sp) and flavour for the Lord.  It was opened, and the defilement of the mentos was added.  What happened?  For a brief time there is the joy and spirit of our new lives flowing from us - as we try our best to live in the world and not become OF the world.  However, for those poor souls who struggle and fall (I"m one of them - lest you think I am putting myself over anyone) .. .with gluttony, gambling, gossip, p@rn, impure thoughts, anger, lack of self-control and on and on, the world can be hard to resist.  We don't need any mentos entering into the situation.  When the Mentos enters in - gets THAT foot hold - (Mentos = world/the Enemy) - bad stuff happens. 

We started out, at the beginning of our faith walk, full of life, full of joy, full of His Holy Spirit, full of faith .. walking, running, singing.  Mentos came in (trials, tribulations, temptations etc.)... .. the result?  We spew toxic fuzzy soda everywhere .. and what are we left with, when the enemy has found his foothold?  We are half empty, flat, and toxic.  The residue left behind, from the initial reaction of the mentos and coke ... leaves a poison, that is non-consumable.  The only thing that can be done, is to pour out the whole sordid mess, bleach the bottle, and start again.

We come back to the Source, an empty, dirty vessel - humbled, heartbroken (or heart sore). Then and only then, can the Father come back in and refill us with His joy, His love, His Spirit, Him - completely obliterating, with His liberating life source, the filth, toxins, and emptiness, the Mentos (our Enemy) had left us with.

We talked for a long time about it.  It took a while for Denny, CDee and Ike, to really 'see' what I was trying to show them.  The Mentos Coke thing, was not a good analogy for us allowing the Father into our hearts, and what He could do in there.  It was more about what happens to us AFTER the world has finished his/her dirty deeds in us, and we no the only place to turn from the emptiness, dirt, filth and toxicity of the World - is back to the Father, who can clean us out, white as snow, and infill us, with His pure love.


So, while it was not, in my opinion, a particularly good Biblical analogy about God and our hearts, I could see how we could definitely use the premise, rethink it, look at it from a new and different angle ... and learn of the Father's deep love for us. It also had us talking for a good while after the service, - ABOUT THE SERVICE -  and that hasn't happened in a long time.

_________________________________________

I'm so tired of the ever escalating stunts and props used in my church, and others I've visited over the years.  It's all geared to incite, not to excite folks, in my opinion.  I often feel like I'm in one of those awful reality TV shows, with each Sunday service requiring that one big ratings boost that the previous show didn't quite get. KWIM?

Even me using the analogy and turning it around, is still confounding the Father's Gospel, lessening it.  I wanted my sons to see the stunt for what it was - a lie.  I wanted to show them that just because you hear something from the pulpit, by the guy who's suppose to know and be able to teach Truth, doesn't mean you blindly follow him/them. 

I fully  believe, we don't need stunts, fixes, props ... we just need Our Father, the Son and the Word.
___________________________________________

Circus is a good word too, for what's happening in so many 'emergent' churches today.  How do you find a place with good solid teaching? Sadly, would I recognise it now, given I've been attending a circus for a number of years, if one actually presented themselves? 

A lot of the showmanship during teachings began, with the hiring of our Youth Pastor, now co-senior pastor, about 6.5 years ago.  There wasn't a lot, but definitely more 'stuff' to aid in the teaching and understanding of the Gospel 'for today's world' began coming in.

Now, it's just so over the top for me, that I inward as I trudge in the doors and find a seat in the full to capacity church.  Like I said in another thread this week .... I realised this Sunday, I now recognise and know only a minute fraction of the people attending our church. I'd hazard to say there is 90% new folks at our church.  Good for church numbers, but I wonder how many are there for the glitz and show, and how many are there to receive and grow?

I hope the numbers are in the receive and grow column, but I have my doubts.  I'm wondering what that says about me

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Today, at church.  You know, 1+ year ago, I knew, at least by sight, over 60% of the congregation.  The other 40% would be divided between visitors, new to the church and occasional congregational members.  I didn't know them all personally - of course.  How can you know personally over 600+ people? I can't.  However, I could look around the sea of faces and recognise many as active members, regular members ... and others as folks in my smaller grouping of friends, and others as part of my homeschool community.

Today ... it was like this clarity light when on in my head.  I stood in the foyer, after church, and slowly circled around.  I looked at all those faces.  It was at that point I realised I knew about 3% of the people - young, old, babies ... of everyone there - milling around me.  Another 10% I recognise as regular members - old time/long time members, pastors, elders - more "high profile" church members.  However, the actual folks I know, talk with, commune with and fellowship with is in the 1 - 3% range ... our of more than 600 people.

Originally posted on May 14/07 on my cyber home:
It just blew me away .... from recognising the familiar faces of 60%+ of your home parish ... to recognising or knowing 1 - 13% of them .  There's something wrong with that.

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