can it really be october 1st today?  september flew by way too fast.  my baby just turned two yesterday.  it's incredible to think he's been a part of our family for two years now!  wow.

it would be hard to fathom that it is autumn-time already, if it weren't for the way the weather has gotten much cooler and the leaves have been changing colors/falling already.  autumn has definitely arrived.

i suppose it might be in part because my birthday is in october, but i've always enjoyed this time of year. (except for the weather getting colder.)   i grew up in central wisconsin and each autumn i feel a little homesick for the many colors of autumn that we had there.  here in northern minnesota we mostly get yellows and browns with just a few spatterings of orange or red on low bushes which are still pretty, but i always loved the vibrant orange and red leaves of the maple trees.  and the hills.  somehow seeing all those colors at once on the side of a big hill makes me want to smile.  i guess we'll have to make a trip "back home" in autumn sometime (probably won't happen this year though) so i can see those beautiful colorful trees again and show my sons where i grew up.  it's been a long time since we've been back for a visit. 

Today I'm feeling a bit discouraged, depressed and ummm...down.  Oh yeah and really overwhelmed. 

It's the feeling that I've got too much to do and not nearly enough time to do it all.  What I'm dealing with is my house and housework.  I feel like my house has gotten out of control (again) as we tend towards being "messies".  We've been trying to not let the papers stack up in piles as much, but it still seems that we get too busy for a week or two and just can't keep up and those paper piles return.  After a couple more weeks of living with mounds of paper in various places throughout the house, it's finally starting to drive me up a wall again.  For those people who by nature tend to be tidy, all I can say is they are blessed with a gift.  For the rest of us who LOVE to have our homes tidy, but can't seem to either get it that way or keep it consistently neat, it would sure be nice to have a magic wand or a cleaning "fairie"!     

I've read the Messies Manual and tried following FlyLady's suggestions.  I just haven't quite found a system that works well for my family.  OH well.  Maybe someday we'll figure out a better way. 

This is an "essay" I wrote up awhile ago.  I still don't know exactly why I wrote it, except that I felt the need to.  It's lengthy, but hopefully you'll find it worth taking the time to read through.  ~sastoll 

Do you believe there is a God? 

Did your parents believe in a God? 

            Whether they did or not, they most likely taught you to believe as they did.

Did your grandparents believe in God? 

Great-grandparents?

            If you come from a family that does not and has not believed in God for generations, you, my friend, are caught in a cycle or pattern of unbelief.  Isn’t it true, that we tend to act and think in many ways just as our parents before us did?  (For example, think about racism…if you know someone who is racist or prejudiced in one way or another, it is very likely that their thoughts and behaviors are patterned after the people who were most influential in their life—their Mom and Dad, whose thoughts and behaviors are patterned after their own parents, etc.)

            Why?  So many questions begin with that one three-letter word.  Good questions.  Like, why should I, or anyone else for that matter, believe there even is a God?  My first response to this question is go look in a mirror!  Science—biological and medical sciences to be precise—have given us greater understanding of the complexity of the human body.  These complexities are so amazing and are totally impossible for humans to recreate or even fully understand.  How many different systems do we have that work without us even realizing it?  I breathe, blink, smell, focus my eyes, my heart is pumping blood through my veins.  If I eat something, my body digests it and uses the broken down food as energy.  And that’s not even yet mentioning the many, many, many hormones that are controlled and regulated within our bodies without us even having to know about it.  Then to top it all off, each of us is unique!  We have our own fingerprints which can be used to identify us.  We have DNA that is unique and also can be used to identify us.  Unique.  One-of-a-kind.  Not another exactly like us.  Even identical twins are not exactly identical!  Isn’t is logical that Something or Someone BIGGER, and much more powerful than a mere chance had to be behind the making of a human body (especially the first two—a male and a female!) 

            Then there’s the rest of nature.  Isn’t it beautiful?  And so diverse!  There are ecosystems on this planet that, until humans disturbed them, were perfectly balanced and self-sustaining!  And think of all the different kinds of insects there are!  And more are still being discovered!  And all the different species of plants and animals and types of rocks and I could just keep going on and on!  Romans 1: 20 says “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.”

            It boggles my mind to think that “Big Bang” theorists ever had any influence over how we as Westerners think.  It takes more pure faith to believe we are the results of mutations and chance than it does to believe that there is a Divine Creator-God.

            Okay, so now, maybe, just maybe you’re thinking “That’s all reasonable…we’re pretty complex beings so yeah, maybe we are created and not just happenstance.”  So what’s your next question?

            Maybe you’re wondering this:  Why should I believe that the God of the Bible is the right god or the only True God?  Very good question.  And very hard to explain, but I will do my best to keep it simple. 

            Let’s take a quick look at the major world religions and compare.

            On the one hand we have what we would classify as Non-Christian Religions and on the other of course is Christianity to which we will compare the rest.

            Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Mormonism…what do all these major religions have in common that separates them from Christianity?  It’s quite simple.  They are all based on the ideas or thoughts of men.  Humans.  People.  The only Non-Christian religion that is an exception is Judaism. 

            Buddhism, Hinduism, and Mormonism are all self-centered religions.  Both Buddhism and Hinduism have man seeking ultimate “enlightenment” or hopefully through enough trying, becoming like god.  Mormons believe they will be gods in the afterlife and rule over their own planets as couples.  I believe the most prideful thing we can say is “I will be like God.”  If we trust the Bible, that’s the very attitude that got us kicked out of the Garden of Eden and brought sin and death into the world.  (see Genesis 3)

            Islam is a bit different, but the focus in this religion is not what God does, but rather, what the individual can do for “Allah.”  They follow their Five Pillars of Faith.  Those are the five things they must do before dying in order to make it into Paradise when they die.  They have to say the right words. They have to pray at the right times and for the right number of times each day while facing the proper direction. They have to journey to their holy city.  But it’s ultimately “Allah’s” decision whether you’ve been “good enough” so no one following Islam knows they will live eternally in Paradise until after they die. 

            The Jewish faith is the exception here, because Jews believe that there is only one True God.  He is the same God we find in the Christian Old Testament which is the Jewish Bible.  Both Judaism and Christianity are God-centered, not self-centered religions.

            So what separates the Jew from the Christian?  Christ, of course!  You see, Christianity is the culmination—or end result—of  the Jewish faith.  Jesus Christ fulfills numerous prophecies that are found in the Old Testament, including the fact that the Jews (for the most part—especially the really “religious” ones) would reject Him as their Messiah (awaited Savior-King). With Christ, God gave everyone the gift of salvation.  It is His doing, not ours.  His grace saves us from our sin. But He also gives us the choice to accept this gift or reject it. Christians are essentially the recipients of God’s ultimate plan of salvation—not only for His chosen people, the Jews, but for all peoples everywhere.

            So what of those people who, through their parents and grandparents have been taught to follow one of these other religions faithfully and sincerely?  My answer is simply this:  I’m not the Judge—God is.  And God has showed us in His Word that with knowledge comes responsibility.  See, if I am told to believe something, I have to either accept it as truth or reject it as fiction.  The same goes for a Buddhist or Muslim who hears the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  That person has to make a choice—as we all do who have heard the Good News—to change their perspective to what God says and believe Him or to continue on their own path. If that person chooses to go his or her own way, they have chosen to disbelieve God and will have to suffer the eternal consequences of that decision if they do not believe before they die.

            Joshua 24:15 “…Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

            I hope that now you’ve got a basic understanding of why Christianity is the only religion worth putting your soul on the line for.  So on to the next question. 

            Since God is real and Christ is the only way to God, then why are there so many different Christian denominations?  Why aren’t they all just calling themselves Christians? 

            I really hate this one.  You see, it bugs me.  ‘Cause you’re right!  We shouldn’t have a hundred and one different types of “Christian” churches.  Not if we believe in the same God, the same Bible, the same Truth.  But here’s the problem: we’re human.  And humans tend to make simple things messy and complicated.  So we have a lot of doctrines—beliefs that are usually based on something found in the Scriptures.  And because some people may understand or interpret a Scripture slightly different than the next group of people, we find that our differences, however small, often become big issues that we fight over and this divides the church.  I believe that most of these differences are minor—not “salvation issues.”  That is, we all believe in the same God, that His Word is the Bible and that Jesus was God’s only Son, sent to save us from our sins by means of His sacrificial death on the cross and that He not only died, but rose again on the third day. 

            So why would one church be “better” than another?  Or one denomination “better” than the next?  How would someone who has not been raised in a church choose one?  Or what about a Christian that just moved…what if their denomination doesn’t have a church in their new community?  How would they know which church to attend once they’ve moved? 

            Sometimes it’s not so easy, but we need to seek out God’s Truth.   If the Truth of God’s Word is being preached and taught to the church body, it is evident.  Not only in the sermons and Sunday school classes, but in the people themselves. If I attended a church, but the Gospel of Christ is not evident in the materials being taught and is not present in the lives of the people attending, a very loud “red alert” siren starts going off in my head. 

            So does it matter what denomination someone is?  No. I’ve known Catholic Christians, Lutheran Christians, Non-denominational Christians, and Baptist Christians and I’m sure there are many other Christians in denominations I haven’t had the pleasure of interacting with personally.  But, sadly, I’ve also known way too many Lutherans and Catholics and others who only go to church because they think “it’s the right thing to do.” They might think it’s important for their children to be in church, but they don’t really believe God cares or that He wants to be a real part of their lives. They are not Christians just because they attend a church.  Even being a baptized member of a church does not make someone automatically a Christian.  A Christian is a person who follows Christ.  It’s personal—no one else can decide for you.  It’s a relationship—you learn and grow as you get to know God by reading His Word, the Bible, and talking to Him in prayer. The God that created the universe wants to be our friend!  Doesn’t that just about knock your socks off?! 

            I’ve had the occasional opportunity to ask friends of mine whom I suspected were not true Christians this:  Do you know if you would go to heaven when you die?  I’ve almost always gotten a “Yes” in response.  But when I ask them why, it seems they don’t really know. “I think” often starts their reply… “I think I’ve been more good than bad” or “I think I’m a good enough person…I haven’t killed anyone or anything.”  These seem to be common thought patterns with nominal (by name only) Christians. 

            So let me ask you that same question now.  Do you know you’re going to heaven when you die?

            If you would have otherwise used one of the above answers that my nominal Christian friends gave me (or something similar), let me ask you this:  Do you know John 3:16?

            “For God so loved the world (that’s you and me!) that He gave His one and only Son (Jesus Christ, Immanuel—God with us), that whoever believes in Him (you just have to believe in Jesus—that His sacrificial death paid the penalty for our sins so we can be totally forgiven by God) would not perish but have eternal life.”  

            That’s it!  You believe, then you receive God’s gift of eternity spent with him!  I won’t pull any punches either, friend.  Without accepting His gift, God cannot be near you.  He is perfect and our sins—anything bad we’ve done or will do—separate us from Him.  If we reject Him, (and He allows us that option because He wants us to love Him) we would inadvertently be accepting eternal punishment in Hell.  But isn’t it grand that God is so good and loving and perfect that He provides us with the Way?

            My friend, THAT is why I KNOW (not just think) that I am going to heaven when I die. 

I believe there is a God.

I believe the only True God has revealed himself to us mortals through His Word, the Bible.

I believe that what He says in His Word is Truth.  Absolute T-R-U-T-H. 

Therefore, I believe that God is a loving, personal, creative God who sent His Son, Jesus, as a perfect sacrifice to cleanse the filth of sin from my soul, that Jesus died on a cross, and rose again three days later and that He is alive and working in my life and the lives of all Christ-followers today. 

I hope you believe too.

sastoll 2/1/05

Okay, so it's a rainy autumn day and I don't want to do ANYTHING!  Least of all school work with ds1.  It's the perfect day for curling up with a good book (or two) and just escaping into other worlds, other times, other lives.  I think that's one of the best things about hs'ing.  I can do exactly that today if I so choose!  Of course, I do have to get a certain amount of schooling for him done by a certain time (for my own sanity's sake), but one day of relative laziness isn't all bad.  Especially if we make a point to read from at least one or two of our school books first.  I'm thinking this is a good day for some "extra reading" work for ds.  He's such a bookworm anyways, that I know he'll just love it too.  

We've been studying the Vikings in history, so I checked out the first two books of the Viking Quest series by Lois Walfrid Johnson from my local library.  I read these first two books a few years ago and really liked them.  It's great finding good books that help reinforce what we're learning.  I've also requested the rest of the books of this series from our library system.  So I get some new books to read too!  Yippee!  

We'd better get enjoying our books since ds2 is napping.  He's quite a handful when he's awake!   

School went well again today...well, relatively so.  (We were done by lunchtime again!) Ds did find himself in a bit of trouble at one point because he didn't want to do a writing assignment as I instructed him to do it.  Actually, what really got him into the most trouble was when he decided to throw a bit of a tantrum which is NOT acceptable behavior at any time.   I think we managed to work it out so hopefully that won't happen again--at least not about school work.

Can I just say, I'm glad this week is basically over?  Of course, the weekend's not going to be much better since we've got a Missions Conference at our church both Saturday and Sunday, but at least I'm not in charge of it or even any part of it this year.  Dh agreed to do the special bulletins for the missions weekend, but that's all and I think he's basically done.  We're planning on taking them over to the church tonight, just so they're there for tomorrow and Sunday. 

I think I'd much rather just curl up in bed or on the sofa with a good book (actually 2 or 3 would be more like it!) for the weekend.  Of course, that's not an option, now is it?  No, it's not even close to an option.  Too bad, though.  It would sure be nice...