Well, it has been a sad night at our house. I spoke with the people who are going to be Pharah's (Sarah) new host family till she returns to Haiti and they want to come pick her up tomorrow evening.
The girls cried their eyes out when they found out. I cried because they were crying. I will miss her, too! She is such a sweet baby I just can't stand the thought of having her leave us tomorrow night and she will have only been here 3 days! How on EARTH would we be able to handle it if we hosted her for the rest of the time then had to put her on a plane back to Haiti? My oldest thinks its unfair that she has to go back. I know she has a mother who loves her waiting for her return, but I have my moments too. I wonder how it could be fair for her to have to return to a place where 1 out of 3 infants die before their 1st birthday. How could it be fair to nurse her back to health here, feed her nutritious foods, give her baths in clean water, keep her clean and warm and safe... then send her back to poverty. It just feels cruel.
We love this little baby girl and I just pray that somehow her life will be blessed and that somehow she will grow up to be healthy and happy. I just dont feel happy about it right now.
I wonder if I am cut out for this kind of thing.
I thought I was called to help in this way! I thought the Lord was telling me to help coordinate the care of these kiddos and host one ourselves - after all, how can I tell others to host if I have not? I thought He was leading me in this direction so then why is it so stinking HARD to give her up after only 72 hours?!?!? I feel like I have failed her. I feel like I am giving up somehow, even though I am only obeying what my husband thinks is right in this situation. Why do I then feel so helpless and powerless? I thought there was power and freedom in submitting?
We will all miss this little girl. She is such a blessing.
We have all been blessed to be a part of her life. I have been so touched by my children's compassion towards this little girl. They do not see her like the world sees her. They do not look at her and gawk at her head circumference or stare in horror at her sunsetting eyes. They look at her and see a baby girl. They love to make her smile and laugh! They lay next to her and watch WonderPets because she loves the colors and music. They lay next to her so that she can see them even though she has limited eye movement and can not see people at some angles. They hold her bottles. They kiss her cheeks. They are really, really going to miss her a lot.
Sorry this is so rough for you...I can't imagine how hard it must be. Let God wrap His arms around you and carry you through. I will be praying for you.
Oh, my heart rips in hearing such a sad story. Why do you have to "host" her? I am a little confused. I must have missed one of the key blog stories that was before this. I will have to go back and search. I wish the little girl could be adopted by your lovely family.
Trying not to take situations too seriously, living each day for the Lord, trying to figure out how to do this homeschool mom thing!
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You and dogs definitely have a lot in common.
You're both goofy, happy, and content with the small things in life.
However, you're definitely not as needy as the average dog. You need your down time occasionally.
At your darkest moments, you feel guilty.
At work and school, you do best when you're researching.
When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often.
In friendship, you are considerate and compromising.
Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking.
You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.
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2.27.2008 - Wow.