Hubby and I are in the middle of some "stuff" as I call it.

Without giving too many details, lest I potentially put some other "stuff" in jeopardy... we are faced with some HUGE decisions coming up. Yes, again.

I am feeling just a little bit crazy about all of it.

Are you ever faced with two equally good choices, but you feel like one has just GOT to be better than the other? Maybe if I write out ONE more pros/cons list... the choice will be more clear. Maybe if I research our choices a LITTLE bit harder... Maybe if I make a few more phone calls... maybe if I seek more wise counsel... maybe if I beg God to clarify my choices... maybe, maybe, maybe if....

The not-so-funny part is that my poor hubby has a different "I am absolutely sure this is the answer" decision every day. Today is different than yesterday which was new from the day before.

I know this sounds vague... but please, if you have a moment, just pray for our wisdom and clarity in this big decision making process.

And maybe that I regain some sanity soon....

My last post (I know... like 3 weeks ago... Sorry...) I illuded to the cool thing that happened on my drive to NY.

Well, first, I was annoyed since I wanted to stop in New Jersey for gas (cheaper and full service) before I had to cross the bridge into NY. I thought there was one more service area before the bridge, but I was wrong... so I missed it.

Irritated by that, I decided I would just stop as soon as I could, without driving through Brooklyn or the Bronx looking for a non-skeevy gas station. I knew at one point after the Verrazano bridge there is this island gas station just before a draw bridge... so I decided to stop there.

Well, I found it and pulled in, went to swipe my card... there is a sign that says "no credit at the pump - come to window." Lovely. So I walk over and I am second in line when the attendant (rudely) says "sorry, our computers are rebooting - its going to be 3 minutes". So I stood there. After about a minute or two, this guy comes up and someone in line told him it would be a couple more minutes and at this point there were maybe 4 people in line waiting to pay. He mumbled something about not waiting and walked back off to his car. I watched as he backed his black sporty car out of his place by the pump, threw it into gear, and screamed out of there. I thought, you know... I really dont have the time for this... I was rushing to get to the in-laws house in time for a bridal shower. I thought, there HAS to be another gas station... and I started to walk off to my car, but decided to just be patient.

Well, I paid and about that time, my oldest was on the phone with my hubby and told him all about how this big procession of 8 or 10 Harley's just drove by. I was pumping my gas and only a couple of minutes had gone by since the scene at the attendants booth.

Well, I got my gas, jumped in the car and drove off.... then got stuck in traffic less than a mile away. It was "new' traffic, in that the police and emergency vehicles were still trying to get through the traffic to get to the accident, and there was no organized method to the madness.

I saw an opening and (becoming a temporary New Yorker) floored it to get through the cars and get past the traffic.

Driving across the draw bridge I see the cause of the accident.

Sporty black car verses Harley Davidsons.

I stopped and prayed that I had the patience to just wait it out at the pump, or I believe I would have been right in the middle of that accident!!

This has happened twice this year... something stopped me before I sped off in frustration... and both times I am moments behind an accident. Thank you Holy Spirit for not giving up on this impatient wretch and making me WAIT when I need protection.

I was reading over at my friend Denise's blog (Denisebp in my friends list) and she has this awesome post about opening a book up and seeing what it says.

Here's my go...

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.

The book I found is Boundaries in Marriage by Cloud/Townsend.

Page 123 only has 3 sentences. The first part of the page is the last sentence of the verse 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8. "Love never fails." then it goes on to say:

"None of us is able to live out this description of love completely, but as we try, love will serve as a powerful boundary against all sorts of evil. It will protect your relationship and give you many, many returns for all that you invest in its enduring power."

Cool! I know that I have been struggling with being the best mom that I can. Do I love enough? Do I give enough? What can I do better? I feel like I put myself up against this unattainable standard of that Proverbs lady and my own insecurities... when maybe what I need to know is that loving my family is a process - a growing gift I give them - not an instant act.

Well, I have been back for a few days now... just waiting to blog until I had caught up on my friends posts while I was away!

The move went very well - uneventfully - can't ask for more than that with a move! The new place is so much nicer, morale is certainly better having a clean home with no phantom smoke smell wafting into our closets. I am loving doing my laundry in my own house and the dishwasher, I am certain, was invented by an angel of mercy!

Updates on our family...

Well, I sent in the paperwork today to host a child through Angel Missions Haiti! (www.angelmissionshaiti.blogspot.com)! I am so excited to see what God has in store for us with this mission! There is this little sweetie pie on the blog named Stephen Joseph, he might be the one who comes to stay with us!

My college courses are back in full swing. Now I am taking Creation Studies. It is a VERY interesting course - refutes the whole evolution argument in very scientific ways as well as Biblical points of truth.

I am currently praying that God would take away my desire to adopt. It has been 2 years that I have been nearly consumed by my thoughts, hopes, prayers and such swirling around adopting... and we are no closer today than we were 2 years ago. My husband does not seem very eager to jump in, so I think this may be something we may never agree on. I am very sad about needing to pray for God to remove that desire from me, but I have prayed for seemingly forever that God would ready my husband's heart and He just hasn't done it. I feel this sense of urgency - like that so-called biological clock thing women talk about - this urgent sense that we need to do it now or never. That isn't from God without my husband being on board... so maybe its just a selfish thing I am holding on to. So, sadly, I have begun praying for the Lord to be merciful to me and remove this desire from my heart.

Well... that's depressing. On a happier note, I recently started attending a Bible study on Thursday mornings that is allowing me to get to know some of the women in the church a lot better. Its nice to finally feel like I am making some friends at our church after a year of feeling a little disconnected. (unless you are in my 3rd and 4th grader Sunday School class.... we are very connected! :)

If you read the issue below about my daughter and her "aunt" who is the same age... here is the update.

I let myself calm down for a day or so and then it just so happened that my MIL called me to talk. She had heard (through her daughter) that we are moving, so she wanted the scoop. Well, the conversation didn't seem comfortable, so I finally said, "can we talk about something for a moment?" and she informed me that she didn't have much time, but to go ahead. I said that I wanted to let her know mom-to-mom what had happened on the phone the other day between our daughters. Well, I was very calm and democratic about the whole thing, even just saying that my daughter was hurt and I know that they are such good friends we should not allow this type of thing to continue. Well... I had barely gotten those words out when she stops and says, "WELL. While we are talking about hurt feelings - the American Girl Place."  I said, Okay... to which she starts in on the whole day. She said she and E (her daughter) should have been invited and how dare we come into HER house and be all excited about this special thing we were doing without E. She said she was VERY hurt by not being invited and that E was even more upset that she could not go that day. Well... I then explained to her that we had considered inviting them, but there were no more tickets available for that time since we had scheduled this day back in August!!! AUGUST people! It just so happened that there were events that made us have to be at their home that weekend anyway, otherwise we were just going to meet my sister-in-law Cassie and her hubby in NYC that day for our tea at the AG place. This was just something we had planned to be special between the girls and their Aunt Cassie! The girls are so close to their aunt Cassie since they lived with us at one time when they were first married. They are all "girlie girls" and just really enjoy being around each other. Besides that, E doesnt even like AG dolls, doesn't own and AG doll and when my girls bring their dolls (with extras) to play with E when we visit, she says she just doesn't want to play with them and basically pushes them aside to do other things. Thats FINE if she doesn't like them, but then WHY would she want to go to the AG Mecca?

Anyway... I apologized for hurting their feelings but tried to explain that we couldn't get more tickets even if we had thought they wanted to come.

Then... I didn't get an apology about E's behavior on the phone the previous night. I let it go and didnt bring it up again.

Then today, three phone calls within 2 hours that we ignored since my daughter did not want to chat, but finally I made her call them back since we wanted to be above all of that. Well, E says "Sorry about saying "is that all", I meant like 'are you done telling me' because I thought you were still thinking." That is SUCH a lie. This is what E does. She manipulates the situation and twists her words to get out of trouble. She says, "Is THAT ALL?!?" and then twist's it into "...is that the end of your list?"

I am so frustrated by this whole thing. Now I feel like I am supposed to call and apologize to E for hurting her feelings the day we went to tea, but honestly... I am not sorry. Not about the feelings, about sometimes people get to do things that you are not invited to do - thats life. My daughter isnt in her uncle's wedding coming up  and E is. E gets to do ALL kinds of stuff that my kids don't get to do... and one other time we were there E and her brothers left every night for some soccer camp at their church and my kids were not invited. It just wasn't an issue!

Thanks for listening to my vent... maybe I will come up with something funny for the next post.

My dad called tonight. I was in the middle of telling him how we are moving into this townhouse that will be so much nicer than what we have now when he asks "How are the schools?". Well... I know where this is headed. I said I had not had a chance to really check into that yet and that we were opposed to putting the kids in school mid-year under any circumstances. He sounded upset and said that he hoped I would check into the schools more thoroughly so that hopefully I could send them back and be done with this "home schooling thing". Grrr. I told him, "Dad, the kids are doing really well. They are not behind. We will do what is best for them, I dont want you to worry about that." But I know that he really dissaproves of this decision.

The thing is, it was his daughter who has been in private Christian school since she was 3 who asked what state Belgium was in just this past week (4th grade). Not that my kids replied with the chief exports and national anthem of Belgium... but they knew enough to know that they didnt know where it was and when I corrected her that it was a country, not "in a state", she jumped in and interrupted with "Oh I know... its in Africa." like she had just convinced everyone of her intelligence.

Anyway... I was hurt and upset. Nothing like your own parents thinking you are screwing up your kids to really ruin your day.

THEN as if that wasn't enough - - we were further insulted and attacked by the other side of the family. My other sister (in law) who is the same age as my own kids called to talk to my daughter. After she (my daughter) was done telling all the things she received for Christmas, this little brat replies with "Is THAT ALL?!?" and a "Humph" sound, as if to say "thats nothing".  Later in the same conversation my daughter explained that we are moving. Again, prideful, selfish, spoiled girl says "Oh, so you get your own room FINALLY!" and my daughter explained that, no, she is sharing with her sister. "OHhhhh.... sorry. When Jon moves out when he gets married I am going to get HIS room because its bigger." and made my daughter feel like we were second class citizens since she is sharing a room with her sister. I was so mad I could scream!! I nearly called my mother-in-law and had a little chat... but then I figured that this is the same little girl who can flat out lie to her parents face and follow it with "when have I ever lied to you?!?" and be believed by them - so she would probably just deny it and make my daughter look like the liar. Grrrr!! I swear! What is WRONG with kids today?!? And THIS is why I should put my kids back in public school!?? Because they need to absorb this kind of behavior?!

We WILL speak with the in laws about this one, but it will come from my hubby since they are his parents. Something has to be done. None of my kids want to go visit anymore because of this little brat. She is the youngest of the second group of kids (first 4 bio kids are all grown, then they adopted 4) and she is treated like the queen of the household AND she gets away with everything no matter how much proof there is against her.

Another SIL story... sorry... had to share!! This last time we were visiting there my girls and my other SIL and I had reservations at the American Girl place in NYC. We had made these reservations 6 months ago and they were booked solid for tea. Well, bratty SIL decides that she will make my daughters miserable about going since she wasn't invited! She proceeded to tell my daughter (that is the same age as her) that she didnt really WANT to go and that it would be MUCH more fun to stay home and What is the big deal... its just DOLLS anyway. My poor daughter was in tears by the time it was time to go... over just feeling sick about leaving her "friend" at home. I told her she was just jealous, spoiled and trying to ruin her time in the city because she wanted to do everything everyone gets to do - no matter what it was. I finally got a smile when I told her that if we all decided to eat poop, she would DEMAND she get some poop to eat, too!!

Anyway... going to go to bed now and try not to think about bratty siblings anymore tonight.

I am beginning to think if God had wanted me to be organized He would have created me with a Palm Pilot attached to my body somewhere. Of course, then He would have also made one of my fingers the pokey stick thing you use to type on them since I would obviously lose that really quickly, too!

I sat for a few hours yesterday trying to make sense of my 2 on-the-radar kids' school work for this year. My Kindergartener does not yet have to comply in PA, so we don't stress over that stuff. However, the two older ones DO have to show some stuff at the end of the year and I was struggling yesterday to find all of those little piles of paper that I stick in strange places when I need to clean off the kitchen/homeschool table in a hurry. I think I am close though because my big expandable file is bulging with our first semester coming to a close.

How do other "born organized" types do it? We are in such a cramped space that I feel like I am constantly fighting piles of stuff even after a whole year of moving things around and trying to make the space work for us!

I am thinking maybe we need a curriculum change. I like the IDEA of Konos... but in reality, by the time the afternoon hits, I am just too tired of being the teacher to actually have to begin a whole new big activity... so we wind up not doing anything which means all my kids are getting right now is the three R's. I would like something complete... but dont want to spend a billion dollars on the satelite BJU and stuff like that. Any tips?

Its been a while since I posted... not that I am not actually reading whats going on with other people, but I never seem to have time to post. Sometimes I have time to post, but what I WOULD post may not be inspiring or uplifting or positive or anything... so I refrain.

There are not too many things to update... we are still in the apartment and we put off our plans to purchase a home here in PA at least for another 10 months or so. There is a couple from our church who owns a townhouse that is coming available the end of January, so we are considering moving in there. Its newer, has a fireplace ( I ADORE fireplaces!), 3 bedrooms all on one level, a living room, dining room, eat in kitchen, and a bonus room in the basement with (drumroll please...) the LAUNDRY ROOM!! (Do you also hear the angel chorus?) The rent is the same as what we are paying now, except that we will be able to get a lot of our things out of storage - so perhaps we will be able to cut costs by getting a smaller storage unit or at the very least, organize our storage building so we can find what we want when we want it! Its piled up floor to ceiling, front to back right now and we couldn't get something out of there if our lives depended on it! Its not my dream house and I probably didnt picture us moving into another apartment type place after our adventure here in this apartment... but if it will buy us some time to pay off all our debt and make a good decision on where to buy... its worth it. The biggest negative for me is the teenie tiny yard. I mean SMALL. Like if we decided to have a picnic... the blanket would take up the whole yard. It looks like a nice neighborhood though. Nothing scary going on that I could see.

So.... we are going to go buy a fake tree today. Let me start by saying I am adamantly against fake trees. I can not stand the idea of a fake tree... I think go real or go home. However, we are going to go be with my family this year in TN over Christmas and since we will be gone for 11 days of the month, it does not make sense to pay $$ for a real tree to only enjoy it for a few days, then have to clean up dried needles from all over when I get back in town. I like the smell of real trees and the "clean" of fake trees. I guess I may be becoming a fake tree convert. I might buy a can of Christmas tree smell to go along with the fake tree. Fake tree/fake smell... makes sense! ;)

I accidentally ate a wheat-coffee cake thing at my inlaws house the day before Thanksgiving and got REALLY sick. I mean sick. Like you-dont-want-to-know-details sick. The funny thing is... they almost BLAMED me for being sick! It was like they were upset with me! My MIL said that its "dumb" that I get so sick from eating something with wheat but dont have anything wrong with me. Hmmm. Obviously there is something WRONG if I get that sick from eating wheat... we just dont know exactly what it is!! Sheesh.

I guess those are the only updates.... kids are doing fine... the girls are off  making "secret" crafts today with their Sparkles group from church and the boys are watching Polar Express. I have to go read The Case for Faith for my online discussion board for Philosophy 240.... and I am crocheting fluffy scarfes for my sisters for Christmas!

I know all mom's and dad's have had those "I have to run away" kinds of days... right? Its not just me... right?

Well... today the kids were stir crazy, but are fighting off this weird virus thing so I had the keep them in out of the cold. After fighting our way through a very short school day, they proceeded to run and stomp all over the house all day long while I tried to get work done for my work-from-home computer job thing and also deal with meals and stuff for fussy, picky kids.

The day was ALMOST over and I was really feeling the minutes go by... so I began getting everyone ready for bed. One by one they brushed, pottied, changed clothes and I sent them up to bed. Well.. so I thought. What had REALLY happened was that they were one-by-one going into my bedroom to jump on my bed. Hubby and I have the only "jumpable" bed in the house since the other kids have bunky matresses. Once I figured out the loud noises were coming from my bedroom and not upstairs in the kids room... I almost lost my mind. So I rationally screamed at them to get upstairs RIGHT THIS INSTANT! and proceeded to go upstairs and tell them all how tired I am of the disobediance and how when I say "go to bed" it means "go to YOUR OWN bed right NOW". Well, in the middle of my rant, my 6ydd tells me she needs her cough medicine. Well, of course you do. Grrr. So we came back downstairs. I got out the cough stuff and looked for the kiddie medicine spoon thing... the one that rests on the counter without spilling. No, I couldnt find it. So I used a syringe type thing. I filled it up to the 1tsp mark and told her to open her mouth. No, she wants to do it. After I tell her how and to keep her mouth closed around it, she proceeds to dose herself .25 cc's at a time and make a Mr Yuck face after each tiny swallow. Finally, I am losing my patience and tell her she has 10 seconds to swallow the rest of it. Well, for some reason, she pulled the bottom all the way off and the rest of it spilled onto the floor. Well, obviously not ALL of it because when she quickly reinserted the plunger all the way into the syringe - red cough syrup shot across the counter and onto the wall - dripping into my bucket of kitchen utencils. Nice shot.

Well... the kids are all finally in bed - except for my 11yds who said it was too noisy upstairs for him to sleep and he wanted to sleep on the couch till they were all asleep and quiet.

I had a short parent-teacher conference with my honorary guests Ben and Jerry and am feeling much better now.

I think I need a time-out in the bubble bath!!

Hmmm. I seem to have touched a nerve with the "large family logistics" post below. It looks like this is one more topic that polarizes people.

I guess I posted it without giving my clear position on the topic... so here goes.

I do think that there are people who have a hard time handling what they have - whether the family size has 2 children or 12. Does this mean that they are not allowing Jesus to be Lord in their lives? I don't know. I have seen mothers of 12 children who appear to have their lives completely focused on God, and others with 12 children who seem to be only focused on growing "super-kids" academically to the detriment of their spiritual life. I have witnessed parents of one or two children who are focused on their kids instead of God, and parents of 10 who feel that their children are gifts from the Lord and treasure them while raising them in the saving knowledge of Christ. Who is to say either is the best... only God knows for sure.

I know there is plenty of good things to be said of having as many children as your body will produce, plenty of blessings associated with adopting multitudes of children, and also good to be said for those who choose smaller family sizes. What if there is a family with 3 children who is struggling to keep the mom at home on what the dad earns at his blue-collar job. They tithe, they are out of debt, they are frugal, but they have a lot of medical bills and a very sick child. They use natural family planning methods to keep from having more children because they are worried about the finances of having more children. Are they wrong for attempting to keep from having more children or should they throw caution to the wind and just see what happens?

I guess I am just wondering, there seems to be a sort of righteous indignation among parents of many against parents of few, and vice versa. Not ALL by any means... but I know it exists. Just as there is an unspoken "humph." by the "working" and "stay-at-home" moms, medicated vs unmedicated births, breast feeders vs bottle feeders, etc, etc, etc. I am just trying to understand the logistics. You can not convince me that it is "no more expensive to have a dozen kids than it is to have four" as I have heard elsewhere. I know all about hand-me-downs and buying in bulk. I know all about ways to save money on weddings, transportation, college, etc, etc, etc. I am talking today about the everyday expenses of feeding a large family vs a smaller one. What about when you have to take 10 kids to the dentist for check-ups or to the doctor and pay 8 $20 copays?

Maybe I am out of bounds here with this post and I really don't mean to offend anyone on either side of the debate. I would have a whole gaggle of kids if it was totally my decision... but hubby is the practical one and is concerned about finances and making sure we can afford the big money speed bumps in life as well as the smaller ones.

I have noticed that there are a lot of people in the Christian-home-education arena who have rather large family sizes. My husband and I have contemplated adopting and other options and while I may be all for the idea, he feels that we should be more wise with our finances and put away savings for the girls' weddings and a gift to the kids when they do get married for them to be able to put a down payment on a home. I feel like if we can train the kids (better than we were trained) in the area of finances and stewardship, that would help them WAY more than giving them a cash gift. I would love to purchase a small cottage and let our kids live there rent-free the first year of their marriage so that they can save money for a down payment... that would then be an investment towards our retirement also.

Any of you with large families who are still reading this (I have not seen many comments lately!), please tell me how your family feels about these issues. OR, if you have a relatively small family, how do you feel about this topic?

I would like some opinions of those wiser than myself.

What if you knew of a woman who is single, currently has 6 children living in her home (3 special-needs foster kids, 3 who she adopted through the foster-adopt program), one of which is terminally ill and she is in the process of adopting the infant in her home. She recieves state assistance for the children in foster care, none for the adopted children of course. Currently she states she has been diagnosed with Leukemia but is still "healthy", but unable to work to earn a living and also unable to take care of the house. She is defaulting on her bills and recently had a visit from the local neighborhood preservation division regarding the overgrown house that she is renting (but responsible for the upkeep of the yard).

Now. Imagine you are the owner of the house.

I came home from vacation to 3 notices in my mail regarding our house and tenant. Late payments on bills (one of which we will owe if she does not pay), the overgrown yard (over 10" high in the front yard... unknown height in the rear), and the info from the property management that she is unemployed (or on leave) because of this leukemia thing.

Further background, this woman has been found to have her wages garnished (after she moved in and signed the contract) from a previous landlord in the amount of $10000 and another is seeking to find a way to collect the $15K in unpaid rent she owes him. She states this is because the homes were in disrepair and the landlords were in effect, slumlords.

My husband and I are weighing the options. Evict her, drive out to the house (13 hours) and do repairs OR let whoever is paying the rent continue paying the rent until they are bled dry and hope she can find money elsewhere.

Another concern... the children in the home. What social worker in her right mind would deem this a stable home?? And to think that this poor baby is about to be adopted by this woman as well... but she may very well have cancer and leave them all as orphans, but now older orphans that are harder to find forever placements.

I'm pulling my hair out here.... any thoughts?

Sorry for the strange absence this week... the kids have been going to a VBS day camp near our home this week from 9:30 till 2pm and I have been working hard during those times to get things done that are just hard to do with them around! Have I made amazing progress? Well, no. But it has been a relaxing week for everyone concerned (well, since Monday night was over anyway!).

I dropped off my PA homeschool affidavit yesterday! It was VERY funny. I read and re-read the PA HS law and even talked to the HSLDA people to make SURE I knew what was required and what was just superfluous information. I used documents I found online and changed them around to exclude the extra information, printed two copies, notarized one and drove over there yesterday during VBS. Well I walked in and the lady was smiling and said "Can I help you?". I said, "Yes, thank you! I am here to drop off my home school affidavit. Can you accept it?" INSTANTLY her facial expression changed. It was like I said, "Yes, thank you! I am here to personally insult you, your friends, your neighbors, and then Im going to pee on your carpet." (If you can picture the face that would create...)

Then I handed over the papers (5 sheets for both kids combined!) and she said, "What grade are your children in?" (ended a sentence in a preposition... just kind of funny...). Now, they are not entitled to this information according to the law. I only have to give them AGES, not birth dates and I do not have to specify in our objectives what grade level they are using. So I said, "They are in different grade levels depending upon their abilities in specific subject areas." She glared at me!  I finished handing over the paperwork and thanked her for her time to which she comments, "they will call you if there is a problem with this.". (read: "I'm going to make a problem with this... so look for our phone call.")

Bring it on.

I dont know why everyone complains about the PA HS laws... its actually kind of FUN to turn in the packet! LOL!

The children's coordinator at church approached me today and said, "I hear you homeschool... I would like to talk to you about that. I am going to keep my son home next year. What curriculum do you use?"

(Queue crazy Psycho theme song...)

I started talking and talking about homeschooling. About how the kids are doing so much better socially and spiritually than they were in PS. About how I can judge their likes and dislikes and approach a topic in a way THEY need instead of a way the PS would teach 25 kids the same. I talked about socialization and reading and writing and THEN....

The Pennsylvania Homeschool Law.

(Queue Dragnet song... Dum Da Dum Dum....)

See, here is the thing.

We are not currently in compliance under the law.

GASP! Say it ain't so!

Yep. Its so. I just have this internal battle going on about the PA HS law and how WRONG it is to have to provide so much information to the government about my teaching! Im not asking for state funding here... I just decline the public school option for my kids! Thats all! They want testing and a syllabus and evaluations and medical/dental check-up reports and who knows what else. The stubborn-strong-willed-first-born-child in me says "oh yeah? Well just try and MAKE me give you all that information! HA!" where the Holy Spirit says to submit to my authority. Then I think... well, isnt GOD my authority on all matters? Shouldn't I look to scripture to decide how to raise my children... NOT the PA legislature? Shouldn't the bazillion verses about raising children (hint: none mention passing the buck.) guide me in my raising them... not some list the politicians decided would be efficient in checking up on us wacky homeschoolers?

So here I am standing face to face with the children's coordinator looking to me for HS advice and what do I say? "Honestly, Tracy, you have to decide for yourself how to handle the PA homeschool law. I am out of compliance right now." (Eee! Eeee! Eeee! Eeee!) But she totally understood! She had not yet had the opportunity to delve into the aspects of the law and was shocked at my laundry list of things they will want from her. WHEW!

So this has been on my mind a lot the rest of the day.

To comply or not to comply. That is the question. Whether tis' more noble to go it alone and possibly get in beaucoup trouble... or just file the most vague paperwork ever seen by the local school district in the name of legality.

Yeah, I will probably comply.

I will do it grumbling and complaining and citing how WRONG it is the whole way... but I will send in my vague paperwork.

Well, I woke up today with the same funk... hating our apartment, but today I decided to DO something about it!

I got out some "oops" paint I had picked up from Home Depot one day on a whim (I am kindof a sucker for the oops paint area anyway!) and decided to make a "nook" area in the main living area of the house. Its just this space about 8'x4' carved out of one side of the living room... but its strange for arranging furniture. Since we have such a large group in the tiny apartment, we cant do as former tenants have done and put our kitchen table in the kitchen... there has just always been a shared dining/family/office/homeschool room instead. Well, I painted the walls of the "nook" this Tuscan brown color and the trim a buttery cream (actually a tinted primer... but it worked and I like the finish of it!) then painted the top and sides of the heating register thingy the same color. I found some stick-down lineoleum tiles that look like bricks in the bedroom closet way up high... (I think God put them there for my sanity today!) and there were just enough (with one to spare!) to do the 8'x4' area! I rearranged the living room and put the kitchen table into the nook and hung up my curtains after giving them some fresh air outside and put a tall lamp in the corner for when I am up late at the table (school or whatever...).

Then I was feeling really ambitious so I decided I needed to vaccum really good... so I got out the attachments! (anyone with a Kirby knows this is no small feat!) The vaccuming kept taking me into different sections of the main floor and finally to the stairs that lead up from the "front door". Then I decided those nasty little rectangle carpet things on the stair risers needed to go! So I got out the hammer and ripped up the carpets and cleaned the steps. Then I found the gallon of porch paint I used before we moved in and used that to paint the steps all brick RED! I love red floors!

Then I painted the front door red, too!

My 9 year old dd made squiggle pasta with butter and parmesan for the kids tonight so I could continue painting the steps and door since the end of the day is really the only time to do that without seriously messing with our day.

Anyway... I am taking a break now and I just sat down and realized how TIRED I am!! Im looking at the kitchen and thinking about how cluttered it looks... maybe it needs a coat of paint, too! LOL!

Consider yourself warned... this is long, wordy and probably just me getting thoughts "down on paper"... so feel free to skim or skip the whole thing! I won't hold it against you!

As the wife/mother of our home I am given the task of "home keeping". I think I may be lacking something on my DNA strand that most women have that enables them to keep things looking nice around the home. I am having serious problems lately keeping the apartment picked up. Maybe its lack of beauty. This apartment is far from beautiful and even when I have tried my hardest and really cleaned things from top to bottom and organized everything in its place... its still icky and not pretty.

How does a woman - who is supposed to instill beauty and peace and love in the home through her actions, her words, her mood AND her surroundings... how does she make it beautiful in her home when her surroundings are a 100 year old upstairs apartment with crumbling walls, smoke creeping through the plaster from next door, peeling paint and the piles of stuff everywhere from living in cramped quarters?

I have these sudden urges to paint the whole apartment white. I think thats because it feels dirty. Then I have urges to sew gigantic curtains and cover everything with nice clean fabric. Ditto dirty feeling theory.

There is a vague opportunity for us to be able to build a nice new house... but we have to decide if we want to saddle ourselves with the expense (slightly more than we had planned) knowing that we will be staying put forever and ever and ever once we get moved in. I keep thinking... I would rather just go ahead and build the house that we will live in forever and plan to stay put than buy something small and plan to build on or (worse) move again in a few years. I am SO sick and tired of moving around every couple of years. Whenever people find out how many times we have moved in our marriage they ask me if we are Military. No... but that would be a better excuse maybe..!

By the way... we have moved 10 (maybe 11) times in 12 years. I may have forgotten a move in there somewhere in my mental notes. Most of those were in-town moves, but we have lived in 5 different states in 3 time zones!

I want roots. I want stability. I want my kids to be in the same place for enough years to be able to see tangible signs of time - trees getting bigger, ducks returning year after year, growth charts on a closet wall. I think maybe that means making some sacrifices in order to build the house we know we need with our size family. What will those sacrifices be? I dont know. Maybe God will change my heart on my desire not to have to move again once I know what those sacrifices would be. Would it mean I have to go back to work? Would that mean putting the kids in school? Would it mean I just never sleep and work nights somewhere? Would it mean we do something out of the home? Hubby is an awesome chef with a great talent for teaching people how to duplicate what he does in simple terms... maybe he could start back with those cooking classes out of our home? Only the Lord knows.

A nice, new, clean house to start fresh in... our forever home until the Lord says its not... it sounds VERY good to me right now. I just pray that if it is not the right decision... the Lord would step in and stop it before my whole heart is in it.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who was left reeling from the after effects of her parents' divorce. Her mother had remarried an Italian US Marine (who the young girl wrongly accused of being "some dumb Spainiard) who was too young to have pre-teen children. The turmoil in the home the first year or two was almost enough to send any parent into the little padded room at the local state institution.

One day at school, the young girl's kindly teacher informed the students of an upcoming project. The girl was immediately intrigued by the teacher's words. "The local 4-H county extension office is offering a program this spring where you students can raise a lamb!" Anyone interested, she said, would simply need a signed permission slip and the $100 fee for the lamb and starter supplies.

The young girl could hardly believe her ears! Here was the opportunity to do something so different, so fun and interesting - something to keep her mind off of the new marriage, new house, new town and the two new babies! Now... next on the agenda would be to simply find the right opportunity to approach the parents with the permission slip and convince them it was a good idea to play along.

Later that evening over dinner, the girls step-father asked how her day at school had been. Accustomed to the usual answer of "fine.", he was shocked to hear an excited prose on the new project the teacher had introduced and how interested the girl was in taking part in something she had never had the opportunity to do before. The parents discussed the aspects of caring for a farm animal in their fairly affluent suburban back yard, yet decided - against their better judgement - to let the girl take part in the project, if for no other reason than to give her something to do other than sulk.

A few weeks passed and the blessed day arrived! Early one spring morning a large Ford truck with a horse trailer pulled up to the house, greeted by a jumping and skipping 14 year old girl. At first they thought they had the wrong address as this was not the rural acreage they were accustomed to visiting for such an occasion. The girl assured them they were correct and led them to the chicken wire pen her step-father had build in the corner of the back yard. They approved the location and taught her some things about lamb-care, brought in a large bail of hay, some food pellets and finally - the baby lamb!

For the entire first day the girl played with the baby lamb, stroaking its soft wool, delighting in its sweet little "maaaaa" sounds and feeding it food pellets by hand. They were two peas in a pod - both having been uprooted from the only family they knew and placed somewhere unfamiliar, longing for safety and security. The girl named him Lambert, after the cartoon she loved "Lambert the sheepish lion".

The girl took very good care of Lambert and the two were great friends. She would harness Lambert up and take him on walks through the neighborhood armed only with a "hybrid poodle" defense should someone question her. All went well until one day a nosy neighbor called the girls home and gave a speech about the home-owners association bylaw against "harboring a farm animal in a residential neighborhood". Thankfully, this was the same day Lambert was picked up by the same men in the same Ford truck to take him to the state 4-H competition.

The state 4-H junior handling show 3 hours away. The girl's father came and picked her up for the weekend and drove her to the fair grounds where she searched for Lambert's pen. She finally found him and to her abject horror - he had been shaved of all his thick lovely coat of wool. Lambert remembered the girl and softly "maaaaa"'d as she rubbed his velvety ears and talked to him about the upcoming show. She was briefed on the upcoming festivities by another girl in the pen who had named her lambs "Mutton" and "Lamb Chop". She stated matter-of-factly that she didn't believe farm animals were pets and should be named thusly.

The hour arrived and the young girl harnessed up Lambert and walked him through the fair ground's main tent showing him to the judges just like all the other teens were doing - kneeling and putting one knee in front of Lambert's chest to keep him still so the judges could feel his muscle tone - no doubt impressive from all of those walks around the block! The girl was shocked and pleased to take 6th place overall in the state for her showing of Lambert!

After accepting her ribbon, the girl headed back to the pen to find Lambert to take him home. She gasped as she saw the pen was empty! The 4-H lamp program advisor informed the girl (with a very confused "I thought you knew..." look on his face) that Lambert was sold to Kroger's since he placed so high in the competition and she would soon receive a check for $150 at her home. Shocked, devistated and angry, the girl pleaded with the man to give her back her lamb. He said he could not un-do what had been done and apologized for the miscommunication. The girl's father then offered to pay the $150 to Kroger's to get his daughter's lamb back, but they said they could not do that.

It was a long, sad drive home for the girl, her sister who had attended, and her father. Many tears were shed and the girl never did really understand why she had not known about Lambert's impending fate. She never again signed up for any 4-H projects, and vowed to herself and everyone she knew that she would never EVER eat lamb.

Ever have one of those weeks that never seems to end? Somehow 7 days turns into 7 lightyears but then again you have that strange sensation that it has flown by. Does that make any sense at all? This week has taken forever - being in Florida 7 days ago, then Tennessee, then driving home, then getting acclimated to being back in the apartment, grocery shopping, gift shopping, and yesterday our family had 3 parties to attend! Today - well, embarrassed to admit we overslept for church. I was looking forward to getting back into that routine, but I got into some ingredient I should not have eaten yesterday and had a horrible night and morning. I try so hard to keep my diet grain-free... but its those sneaky hidden ingredients when I eat over at someone elses house that always get me. "Oh, its just chicken and sour cream and cheese and some spices..." turns into a night of tossing and turning, hot water bottle, sweating and chills.... UGH. In hindsight... I think she forgot to mention the condensed soup or something. Those have all kinds of starches in them.

Anyway...I am nursing a cup of coffee and thinking about all I have to do today for my Humanities class at Liberty! Its the end of week 4 (8 week sessions) and I have a test to take by midnight, a discussion board to read and participate in, and about 7 hours of lectures to listen to!! Yikes. Sometimes I wonder why I do it. I know the Lord has plans for me with this Bachelor of Science - Religion degree I will attain in the next few years... but WHAT exactly?

The baby-blues were back yesterday in full force after attending my sis-in-law's baby shower followed by visiting a birthday party for a family friend who has a 1 month old little boy! Lord, really... WHY do you lay this baby thing on my heart but then put me in a holding pattern???

I have been nominated by two people for two different blog award thingies... the Rockin' Girl Award and the Blogger Reflection Award.  

Thank you both for the kind things you said on your site about why you nominated me! Thats so sweet!

I dont know who else to nominate since I have fallen behind in blogger land since being gone... so I might have to just stop the tag-train here for now. I hope to be back in full swing in the next few days... so stay tuned!

Well, we just got back in town from our Eastern US driving tour!

OK... so it wasn't the WHOLE Eastern US... but it felt like it! We left PA and drove 16 hours to Nashville 2 weeks ago to visit my family, then left and drove to Pensacola, FL for a week to spend vacation time with my mom and sisters! It is always nice to be with my mom on vacation since she does not have to spend her days at the office while we are visiting her. After a week in Pensacola, we drove back to Nashville to spend another 3 days there with family then Tuesday morning we left to drive home, spent the night in Lexington, VA then finished up the drive yesterday! WHEW!! Personally, if I NEVER got back in the mini-van again... it would be too soon!!

I thought I would share a few pictures (since I may have figured out how to put them here!) from the beach! It was GORGEOUS and a true testimony to the wonderful things God can create! The water was SO clear I could see my red painted toe nails in the chest-deep waves!

Ok... so I am having trouble figuring out how to add photos to the message... so I will work on that! Stay tuned......................

Boy do I ever feel like a slug today!

It was such a beautiful day here - sunny, not too hot, not humid...

and what did I do?

I packed for my hubby who was leaving for a business trip, 

went to pick up the lawnmower from the fix-it shop,

dropped off the last of the K-12 virtual school curriculum boxes at the UPS store to be returned (FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST!!),

mailed my MIL her camera charger back at said UPS store,

returned home with lawn mower, mowed the 10' strip of grass in front of the house between the sidewalk and the street that for whatever reason neither neighbor on the sides is willing to just mow for us... then taught my almost-11 year old how to cut the grass in the back yard. I stood outside watching and laughing at how he was creating this topographical map of the yard with the mower stripes and restarted the mower probably 15 times.

I made lunch for the kids, supervised their hour of reading today, broke up several arguments, sat everyone down for a break and watched the original Cheaper By the Dozen (sad by the way if you have never seen it..), nearly fell asleep twice (!), then made dinner.

Where did the day go?? Goodness.

So, hubby called to check in and say he arrived in TX ok. He has the worst experiences flying. They always sit him next to the Chatty Cathy, the morbidly obese person who needed 2 seats but only got one, or someone who forgot to shower this morning. Today's adventure was sitting on a 4 hour flight next to a woman with a VERY sick baby who was coughing and laying on him the whole trip. Hubby has a very low tolerance for such things which is why I can't help but laugh when he tells me these stories! I told him to go take a shower and buy a bottle of Vitamin C and take lots of it!! I can almost guarantee he will be sick in 5-7 days.

Sorry to skip around, but seeing as how thats my perogative... ha ha ha... back to the Cheaper by the Dozen we watched today. I have always had this idealized view of these people in my head - wow, 12 kids! The laundry, the dishes, the discipline, the socks to be matched up... but in the movie they had TWO live-in helpers!! What? That brings the overall total to 1:3 ratio... come on. Maybe I don't know the whole story and should read the book, but I was somewhat disillusioned by that!

Better run... I hear giggling and 'meeeeeoooooooowwww!!!" coming from my bedroom.