THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... SHMILY STYLE! is coming SOON!

Now, for those of you who may be unfamiliar with this SHMILY Time tradition, The "Twelve Days of Christmas" isn't talkin' about "A Partridge in a Pear Tree.  It's a twist that I'm sure your husband will enjoy!

It all started because my husband and I would wind up arguing during the holidays EVERY YEAR because it was so stressful.  Spending time and money on friends and family seemed to get out of control no matter how much we tried to "get better" each year and would result in some sort of argument, so A few years ago, I decided I would something different... Twelve days before Christmas just happens to be my husband's birthday, so I surprised him each day, and got us all the way to Christmas day without an argument!   I found it really hard to get angry with someone that I was so focused on loving and praying for!

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... SHMILY STYLE revolves around the act of love and anything leading up to it.  Now, I know this "strikes a chord" with some of you and  I know that sex is not the only thing that makes a marriage good...  so please don't send me emails or leave comments telling me this.  (In fact, if sex is the only thing good in a marriage that's not healthy either.)  What I've found to be true however, is how "taboo" sex is, especially in Christian marriages.  We don't talk about it or even acknowledge it's importance in our marriages, when the fact is... God created it... and it was His intention that it is good.  I understand that we, as a society have ruined that in so many ways, on so many levels... but THAT is not God's fault, nor does it change what He intended for beautiful and fulfilling and to make a husband and wife as one.  Because of what sex has become because of premarital sex, pornography, adultry and the like, we have somehow become "scared" to talk about sex in a Christian marriage as if it's "dirty".

Unfortunately, sex is also one of the first things we "take away" or avoid when things get rough in our marriage as well.  Let's face it, when you're arguing with your spouse, do you feel like making love?... probably not... and when that happens, the enemy begins his work at destroying our marriage...  Think back to when you were falling in love with your spouse... at some point in time, there was a physical attraction... and chances are good it was pretty "intense".  Just because you may have been married for awhile, that does not mean that your love making should get boring, or non-existent.  It doesn't matter what stage (or state) your marriage is in right now bring the spark back to your marriage, and start with THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS!

Note:  If you are in a process of healing in your marriage, or there is a hurt that hasn't been dealth with or forgiven, then please take a moment to pray the SHMILY PRAYER.  I realize that some hurts and problems need more time to heal, and so this year may not be the time for THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... instead, you may want to tuck this idea away and continue to pray for God to restore your marriage, including the act of love making.  (The Power of a Praying Wife is also an excellent book to begin praying every day for your husband.)

With ALL that being said, THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS involves some planning, so take some time to be thinking about what you can do to begin a year that will hopefully start a life long tradition! 

• It begins on December 14th (12 days before Christmas)... and is for 12 DAYS... 12 consecutive days (or nights)! This is especially fun because most people's traveling and visiting relatives is during these days (keeping in mind that this would be especially fun while visiting relatives  because only you and husband will know what's going on...) 
  

• This involves an investment in your "drawer of many blessings" drawer as well... and yes, you SHOULD have one of these drawers, so make room (throw out some clothes if you have to... your hubby would rather see you in these anyway!)  Start saving money and get your drawer stocked up!  You'll be able to "recycle" here so the money you spend here is worth it in the end.  You're investing in your marriage and that is never money wasted.  (Your size is NOT an excuse either!   Please read, "He loves you... quit hiding!" if you're  struggling with your outer appearance.   Have all your "little blessings" bought by 14th and plan for each day's surprise, along with any evening you might be able to get a sitter and go out (with your "little blessing" on to tell him about over dinner), or a friend to watch the kids so you can stay in (and put your "gift" to use)! 

• Make or get a card to give to your husband on the 13th.  An idea would be:
  

  • "To celebrate the next twelve days of Christmas I have planned a special "gift" for you each day with only you in mind!  Anticipate what each will bring as we celebrate the next twelve days of Christmas... twelve you're sure not to forget!" (Don't forget to sign it, SHMILY!)

Grab a lamp and follow me on over to my new place!  

My blog is still called By Fidelity and Fortitude, but it has a new host site, WordPress.  I know I run the risk of losing a few of you along the way, but I hope you'll come on over.  Either click on the link here: http://byfidelityandfortitude.wordpress.com/ or copy that address and paste it into your browser. Easier than Mapquest!   

• The Thanksgiving Special

Tomorrow morning, we plan to head to the far eastern reaches of Wisconsin to celebrate Thanksgiving Day with John's numerous uncles, aunts, cousins, and his one and only Grandma L.  It's a six hour drive, an easy drive when compared to the fifteen hour day we undertake at least once a year to get to Ohio and Pennsylvania.  I decided to look on Photobucket for some artwork to leave up here while I abandon my blog for a few days (I know you will be shocked to find the same post on my blog for more than a day or two, but you'll just have to deal.) and Photobucket did not disappoint.  The trouble is, I can't decide which gem to put here.  I can't choose just one.  So, I'll put up several and you can choose your favorite. 

In the "Nostalgia" category, we have this:

Reminds me of decorations my grandmothers had, carefully stashed away every year in the drawer of the sideboard or specially marked boxes in the closet.  Right next to the potholder I made in VBS in 1978. 

Warning: from here it just gets weird.

There are two winners in the ever-popular "Star Wars" category, this:

And this bizarre offering:

I don't know if I've been sniffing dryer sheets too long tonight or what, but this made me laugh.  The winner for the "Children's Television" category:

Winner in the "Really?  Why?" category:

Winner in the "Someone Has Too Much Time on His Hands" category:

And winner for "Downright Bizarre:"

But I want you to be able to digest all that yummy T-day food, so I will leave you with something a little more palatable.

Here's where we started out in line at 12:50 p.m.

Waaaaay up there, in the center of the photo, Ree is answering random questions from those in line.  We couldn't hear most of it because malls are not known for their excellent acoustics.  From this point, the line winds to the left around the escalator, behind the stage and then comes back to the opening right in front of us.  From that point, then, it was another two hours. 

At least as we were winding around the stage, we were close enough to get a good photo of Ree and her gorgeous boots.  You go, girl.  The Orange Julius was doing a brisk business from this event; standing in line makes one almighty parched.

See that guy to the left of me?  That's Marlboro Man, Ree's cowboy.  He and their two little boys spent a while signing cookbooks and getting their picture taken with crazy female fans.  The boys' attention span didn't last long and they ran off (in the dubious care of several singularly unsmiling Barnes and Noble workers) to get snacks and run off the wiggles.  But since his attention span is longer or maybe just because he has a little more self-discipline, Ladd, aka MM, signed for a long time. 

See?  And for the record, I read her blog for her sparkling wit and the delicious, full-fat recipes.  What!?

On this page, their younger boy wrote his name, Todd, by his picture and then wrote "Alex" by his sister.  He looked at me and said, "Alex."  He's a little guy and was proud of his ability to write not only his own name, but also his sister's name. 

And, then, finally, finally, finally, the big moment with my new BFF.  We bonded.

Poor Ree must have been exhausted by this point.  After all, she had been at this for five hours, too.  Of course, I wasn't making a profit from every stroke of my pen and that can be a powerful energy source, but still.  In the picture, you can tell she's thinking, "Man, my cheeks hurt.  What am I going to do with a box of half-melted Buckeyes?  When can I go back to my hotel room and jump in the jacuzzi?"

While she was writing, she paused after the second "n" in my name and for one horrifying moment, I thought I was going to have to ask her to put the "e" on the end.  If I had walked away with it inscribed to "Ann" I could not have borne it.  I would have had to donate it to some poor soul named "Ann."  You may imagine my immense relief when she added the "e" before going on to add the highly personalized message.  I had obviously impressed upon her my sparkling wit and effervescent personality, else she would not have gone back and added the smiley face after she made the heart.  Remember, we bonded.    

Here we are with our free t-shirts (they only cost 5 hours of our lives!) and our signed cookbooks.  The big "I"s on our foreheads are either for "Insane" or...

Well, yeah, insane is about it.  But insanity for short periods of time is a lot of fun.   

I have lineaphobia.  I hate standing in lines.  My father-in-law has trafficaphobia, a fear of traffic which leads him to find the most roundabout, back-road-iest route he can find.  But this isn't about him.  It's about my fear of standing in long lines. 

I have never known an entertainer, politician, roller coaster, author, or holiday figure worth standing in a ten-minute line for, let alone a five hour, two-mile long line in the Mall of America on a Saturday.  And yet, that's what I did today. 

Who, you may ask, would I do such a thing for?  Sarah Palin?  (Jane Austen, maybe, but she's not available.)  Oprah Winfrey?  Santa Claus?  Nope.  I did it for Ree. 

A few of you have discovered Ree, aka Pioneer Woman, for yourself.  I"ve been reading and mildly addicted to her blog for about two years now.  I don't read it daily, but I keep up.  She is married to a rancher, has four kids and homeschools.  But this lady isn't your jumper-wearing, braid-swinging homeschool mama.  Her blog has cowboys, cooking, kids, homeschooling, gardening, photography, cows, horses, dogs, and, oh yes, cowboys.  All of those topics are interesting on their own, certainly, but what makes the blog so entertaining, what brings people back, is Ree herself.  She writes just as though we were sitting down with a cup of coffee for a cozy chat about the everyday stuff of life.  Just us and several million other readers.  Somehow she fits us all into her virtual living room and makes us all comfy with her sense of humor, her openess, and her genuine love for her family and the people around her.  We all feel as though we know her, we're a part of her life. 

I know!  I know!  It seems kind of creepy and stalker-y when we talk about this woman and her family like we have dinner with them every night.  We start parroting phrases that she uses all the time.  We wonder, "What would Ree think of this?" or "Wouldn't Ree think this is funny?"  And yet, that's what she invites is to feel when we cozy up to her blog. 

So, when I learned that Ree would be at the Mall of America for a book signing event (here's her new book  The Pioneer Woman Cooks) I immediately staked a claim on my calendar for this day and laid my plans. 

Some time ago, I discovered that my friend, Stephanie, is also a PW fan, so we finagled child care for our kids (seven between the two of us) and headed down to the most insane mall in the country, maybe the world.  We planned to check out the line and assess the situation.  We would stand in line for a while and then, if it was taking too long, we would just go.  We'd give it another half hour and then decide if we should go.  We'd give it a little longer since we seemed to be making progress.  We'd go if the tearful phone calls from children didn't desist.  Well, and theeeennn...by theennnn...you know...we were so far in line, we had spent so much time already, it would be a shame to go.  So, by a hundred tiny decisions, we ended up standing in line for five hours to sit beside Ree herself for two seconds, get a picture with her, and move along. 

Some day I'll be able to tell about the moments I sat beside her.  How my mind completely blanked at the crucial moment (probably as much from finally sitting down after 5 hours on my feet as from awe at being so near PW).  How I handed her a little box of melted Buckeyes and apologized for them (what a dork!).  How I think she tried to say something kind to the idiot lady, but by then my mouth was already moving and I couldn't stop talking once I'd started.  How I moved away so quickly, she couldn't have answered me if she'd wanted to.  *sigh*  Everyone else made it look so easy, even the ladies with two toddlers in tow.  But really, what can one do or say in 2.7 seconds to impress upon the admired person the full extent of one's sparkling wit and effervescent personality?  Just isn't possible, at least for me.  But I can't talk about it yet.  It's too traumatic. 

Instead, I'll give you some lessons I learned today:

1. Never go to the Mall of America on a Saturday.

2.  The line is always longer than it looks.

3.  Stephanie and I share some important things in common: husbands who are avowed city-slickers, who are non-demonstrative, but are excellent gift-givers; painful memories of third grade; and a terror of forever screwing up our childrens' knowledge of and ability to deal with the birds and the bees. 

4.  Standing in line for five hours is curiously exhausting.  Not that Ree's job of sitting in one place, signing books and making chit-chat with total strangers was not exhausting.  I'm just sayin.'  In case you wondered. 

5.  Use the buddy system.  If you're going to stand in line for 5 hours, do it with a friend.  Stephanie held my place in line while I went to get us something to drink and, later, for me to take a potty break.  The endeavor might have failed early on if not for my buddy.  (Thanks, Steph!)  Incidentally, my buddy also remembered her camera when I did not!

6.  Stand around with complete strangers for long enough and you can make some pretty good friends.  The girl ahead of us was getting an autographed copy of the book for her mother's Christmas gift, the lady behind us had considered wearing high heeled boots but was thankful she had chosen flats, another lady has a mother who lives in Mansfield, Ohio, and another lady had arrived fresh from her own stables to catch a glimpse of Ree.

7.  Do not attempt to stand in a line like that for five hours with children.  God bless the babies, toddlers, tikes, and early elementary kids for their incredible patience.  I'm not sure whether to send a sympathetic nod to their harried parents or just to say, "Are you insane?!"

8.  And, most importantly, never go to the Mall of America on a Saturday.  Seriously.  Don't do it. 

I never camped out to buy Springsteen tickets; I never waited for the midnight release of a Harry Potter book; I never dressed up like an Ewok for a Star Wars premier; and I've never been to Boston in the fall.  But I have stood in line for five hours to see a homeschooling rancher's wife from Oklahoma.  Yeah.  That's how I roll.  After I've tried all of the recipes, I'll let you know if it was worth it.   

No, I'm not giving away a Target Gift Card.  I'm trying to win one for myself!  But you can try for it, too!  I just found this lovely blog, called Oodlekadoodle Primitives.  It's written by a tech-savvy great-grandmother who lives down the road from me in Faribault, MN.  On her blog, she shares lots of yummy recipes.  And $25 Target gift cards!  That could come in handy when Christmas shopping for four kids and extended family!  Even if I don't win the card, though, I think I'll go back for some of those delicious-looking recipes!

For Johanna's birthday, Mom, Sam, Johanna and I went to the American Girl Place at the Mall of America.  Johanna doesn't have an American Girl.  She has this doll from Vision Forum, but she loves "Felicity" from the American Girl series.  In the picture above, Johanna is posing beside the Felicity display. 

For a snack, we went to the American Girl Cafe where Johanna and Sam were each allowed to choose a doll to take care of at our table.   

Sam named his doll "George." 

As we sat there waiting for our pretzel bread and cheese fondue, a waitress brought out mini-muffins and tiny cups of pink lemonade for the dolls.  Here, Sam is demonstrating to Johanna the proper way to feed the dolls.

We had a lovely time. 

When we were done, Johanna was allowed to pick out her birthday presents - a Felicity movie and a beautiful new dress for her doll. 

I hope Johanna thoroughly enjoys being eight years old.  It's a magical age and never comes back again.  Of course, no age comes back again, but none has the same dreams and amusements as being an eight-year-old girl.