Mar. 2, 2007 - The Thaw is Coming
I know that in real time, it actually hasn't been that long, and I should be very pleased with my recovery. I don't live in real time, though. I live in some kind of alternate universe of insomnia mixed with the need to sleep right now, immediately! I live where my head is too fuzzy to read very long, or concentrate, or where was I again??? I live where the effort to take a shower and dress is my main goal of the day. I live where time is measured only in the hours before I can take the next pain pill. I'm a couch potato without the joy of laziness. I'm not allowing myself to get frustrated, but I can see that place from here. I don't need to feel completely wonderful. I just want a day where I feel o.k.
It is funny to watch what happens when I am so sedentary, though. Baby Bear has been in the best mood I've seen her in for a long time. She's not tugging at my legs while I'm flying around trying to keep everything running. She's pleased as punch to always know where to find me in my little spot under the blanket. I like being able to give her the attention she needs. I can answer Sister and Brother Bear's questions immediately without having them wait, and I can watch them work in long stretches rather than in between chores. A slower pace definitely has its advantages.
Anyway, enough with the blah, blah, blah. I can actually see real honest-to-goodness grass under the snow in my yard. Could Spring actually be on its way?? I want to enjoy this Spring. Can't wait to show Baby Bear the world that she forgot existed. I just love all those "first time" moments. We're just waiting to bust out in bloom around here. Just a little bit longer...
Comments
Mar. 3, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by jenn4him
Glad to hear you are in full recovery mode. I hope there are some OK days in your immediate future.
Jenn
