Feb. 28, 2007 - A Typical Day at Our House
I didn't do this month's glimpse into our homeschool world before my surgery, so this one will be a bit different. It might not be typical of our "usual" life, but it's typical of what things are going to be like for the next little bit.
8:20 a.m. I wake up in the recliner in our basement. I just couldn't face lying down in the bed last night. What cruel and unusual punishment that when all I want most is to crawl into bed, hug up to my body pillow and snooze, that seems like the most impossible thing in the world. Too much pressure on my chest getting up and down. The recliner was easy on the sternum but rough on the tailbone! I come up to the kitchen and make toast so I can take my pain pill. Everyone else wakes up and gets ready for the day.
9:30 a.m. Bellies full. Faces mostly clean. We start with spelling, grammar and math. Since the cubs share a grammar book, Brother Bear works on math first. Then they switch. After explaining the new concepts, I ---drum roll, please----sit!!! Yeah, that's pretty much my main role in this day. I sit. On the couch. In a chair. At the computer. Just change the scenery now and then. I know many people think we're crazy to be doing any schoolwork so soon after my surgery, but it's keeping us all sane. Homeschooling isn't what we do, it's our life. Life goes on. We're using Sequential Spelling and Rod & Staff right now. Loving those. We're still Saxon lovers for Math.
12:00 p.m. Everything has been completed and checked. Lunch time. Sister and Brother Bear work on their memorization while lunch is cooking. This month is the poem "The Creation" by Cecil Frances Alexander (you know...All things bright and beautiful, etc.).
1:00-3:00 p.m. Drama. Drama. Drama. Papa Bear takes me to get some bloodwork done. They cannot find a vein. It takes FOREVER. So exhausting. Meanwhile, the cubs finish reading The Golden Goblet aloud to each other. They also read some history individually. Sister Bear reads a book about the civilizations of the Middle East and Brother Bear reads about Hammurabi. They'll write papers about the information they learned on another day. They have some play time until I come home.
3:30 p.m. We wrap up with some science by making a cell model out of Jello as suggested by Christian Kids Explore Biology.
4:00 p.m. Recliner---check. Blankets and pillow---check. Adorable lap dog---check. Nite-nite, Mommy. Nite-nite.
5:30 p.m. I awake to a three cub circus in the living room above my head and dinner almost finished. Ah, Grandma. Gotta love her. Papa Bear is at class.
6:30 p.m. There's no swim practice tonight, so after dinner we just hang out. Sister and Brother Bear play on the computer and run wild while Baby Bear entertains me with her incredibly glorious cuteness.
8:00 p.m. It's Wednesday night. Take a wild guess. We're watching American Idol!
10:00 p.m. Shower time, family Bible study and bed.
Today wasn't my favorite day ever, but it shows how we're making it through this tough recovery time. I've taught Sister and Brother Bear to be independent learners from the start, and it's been a priceless skill. They can keep up with the 3 R's while also learning the valuable lessons of God's extravagant grace being taught to us all through this experience.
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Feb. 27, 2007 - Diary of Heart Surgery #3
I do not fear Satan. I do not fear man or the powers of this world. Today, the only thing I fear is COUGHING!! I'm home from my week long hospital stay after my open heart surgery.
I am not surprised at how I feel physically. A week ago, a surgeon made an 8 inch incision down the center of my chest, broke my sternum, stopped my heart from beating, repaired it, restored the blood flow and sewed me back up again. Hey, it hurts! But it's no worse than I expected. In the hospital, I had a pump with a button that I could push once every six minutes to receive pain medicine. I called that lime green box my little friend. I miss that pump. Now I'm exploring the brand new world of what I call "crunchy chest syndrome". If I sit still for a period of time, I actually feel fine. When it comes time to move though, the instability in my chest wall and the effects of gravity combine for this incredibly unique, odd and unpleasant sensation as everything readjusts to my new position. It feels like all the bones and tissue are grating together in a literal crunch. Needless to say, I'm sitting very still except when I have to.
They gave me this corny heart-shaped pillow in the hospital to hold over my incision when I cough. Cushions the pressure a little. Sure, that would help quite a bit---if I would ever have any advance warning that I was going to cough! In the last week, through all the pain, even after the morphine wore off, I hadn't cried yet. Until last night. Nestled in the recliner enjoying my first night home, a tickle in the back of my throat came out of nowhere and a strong cough exploded through my body. The tears instantly flowed down my cheeks as my chest felt like it split in two. Even though the majority of my brain knew it was impossible, there was still that one doubtful little part that made me take a peek down my shirt just to make sure it hadn't actually ripped open. What do people do who get pneumonia as a complication of surgery? Horrible.
Today, I get to be here when my kids wake up. I get to eat real food. I get to read out loud. I get to take a nap with my dog. I get to look at my little ones' faces any time I want to. Even with the pain...how can I not give praise?
I'm going to be writing down every part of my surgery and recovery over many blog entries. I want to share my experience with others who might be facing the same situation. I want to create a memory record for the future when the details begin to blur. I want my kids to be able to look back at this time. Most of all, I want to preserve it as my testimony. It hurts and it's ugly and it's long and it's huge. But I'm alive---look what God can do!
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Feb. 17, 2007 - Diary of Heart Surgery #2
I'm home from my first round in the hospital. I must begin with the praise that the procedure was very successful. The doctor was able to restore significant blood flow through my two blocked pulmonary veins. My breathing has already improved, and I feel encouraged that my body will be able to handle the open heart surgery on Monday.
The surgery was a long, hard road, though. This was actually my 7th experience having a catheterization, and it was by far the worst. To start out with, this was six hours under general anesthesia. So draining to the body! When I had this procedure done last year I had a lot of trouble with nausea, so they gave me a different type of anesthetic on Thursday. So horrible! You have to lay flat on your back for 6 hours after a cath. Usually, I kind of sleep in and out during that time. This anesthetic, though, did not let me do that. I woke up almost instantly after the surgery. I could hear perfectly and my mind was "on", but I couldn't see or focus and it felt like someone else was moving my body. I always, always have problems with back spasms after a cath. Again, usually I can sleep through most of it, but I was awake for every agonizing minute. I repeatedly vomitted up whatever pain medicine they tried to give me, even after they gave me anti-nausea medicine in my IV. I ended up spending the last couple hours just laying there crying and holding on to Papa Bear. When the six hours were up and I could finally roll over on my side the spasms stopped. It took another 12 hours for the anesthetic to wear off enough for me to be able to see. It was like being trapped in a nightmare.
But I got to come home! Praise the Lord! I was so afraid I'd have a complication that would keep me hospitalized. I was also dreading Baby Bear's reaction to my homecoming. The three different times I was in the hospital last year, she had a difficult time adjusting. She was very cold, distant, and confused for the first day. I understand why she acted that way, but oh how my mama's heart ached when she did! Yesterday, though, I came home and passed out asleep on the couch. Baby Bear was taking a nap at the time. I awoke to her standing in front of me patting my shoulder and saying, "Mommeeeeee" in the long pronounced way that is so daggone cute from her. Such a nice thing to come home to.
I'm sore, stiff, and just plain yuck, but I'm through the first hurdle. Now to rest and go back for the open heart surgery. I must admit that this week has made me dread even more going to the hospital. I always ask God to give me a verse or a word of encouragement that I can repeat to myself during these times. This week he has showed me to pray, "Just get me through the next 15 minutes." The hours, days, and weeks loom ahead dark and menacing, but I just need to focus on the next few minutes. God is there during that time, and at the end of the fifteen minutes, he's right there again. God is faithful.
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Feb. 14, 2007 - Diary of Heart Surgery #1
I had to start giving myself shots of bloodthinner on Monday. I normally take the bloodthinner Coumadin in pill form, but I can't take it around surgery, so I've been switched to Lovenox, which has to be injected. I figured my experience with my diabetic cat would help me with this process. Granted, I knew it would be a bit different to actually put the needle in my own skin, but I figured I at least felt comfortable with the syringe. Oh, my! That syringe is sooo much larger than the insulin ones and the needle is longer. It has not been fun. This is of course low on the scale of horrible things they will be doing to me over the next week, but it means that the mental process has begun. We're on the road now, and there's no turning back.
I went to the hospital for my pre-op day of fun yesterday. They used to admit you a day or two before surgery to get all these things taken care of. The idea is to make your life easier by doing it outpatient. Now, I just have to show up the morning of surgery. Well, that was not my version of easier. I was there for 9 hours yesterday, wandering back and forth to different tests and appointments spread miles (o.k. blocks) apart in the labyrinth of buildings. Hello! I have heart problems. Why are you making me walk all over creation? Being around all those incredibly young looking residents racing up and down the halls always makes me feel old. Overall, I've always been pleased with the care I receive at Cleveland Clinic, but some of the things they do are just plain wacky.
I got to watch a video about what it will be like to wake up in ICU and basically how warm and fuzzy I should feel about the whole experience. I think their goal is to balance realism with a positive attitude, but I think the outlook is a little too rosy. Most of the literature they've given me focuses on the tubes, etc. that I will have when I wake up. What things will sound like and how quickly they'll be making me walk up and down the halls. They don't mention anything about what happens during the actual open heart procedure. Guess most people get freaked out, but I like knowing exactly what's going to happen. Thank you God for the internet! It's so much better to be informed.
Then, it took 2 hours for me to drive home in the snow. Normally that trip would take 20-25 minutes. Long day. Pretty snow, though. I can't even guess how many inches (feet???) we have.
Tomorrow, I have my catheterization to open my pulmonary veins. I had the exact same thing done in October, so I'm not scared of the unknown. Since my condition for that, pulmonary vein stenosis, only naturally occurs in children, my doctor is in pediatrics. They are so nice in pediatrics! It's much different than the adult side where you feel like a faceless body in an assembly line. I look forward to the kind and caring nurses in peds tomorrow. If anyone has a child who has surgery and wonders what happens after they make you leave, know that they are wonderful. Your children are well taken care of.
So much to do!! I had long lists and big plans of what I wanted to get done before tomorrow. My ability to function has been at its lowest the last month, though. I was able to hug my kids, laugh a little, and enjoy the moments each day. Guess my plans didn't work out but my dreams came true.
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Feb. 7, 2007 - Will It Freeze?
It was a tropical 1 degree F yesterday morning, so we decided to play "Will It Freeze?" We put several items on our back porch to see what would freeze in 30 minutes. The first, a hot dog, didn't freeze as quickly as I thought it would. Kind of scary, actually. What exactly is in that hot dog??? Our second victim was one of Baby Bear's shirts (soaking wet). Here's what it looked like after half an hour:
We also had two cups. One cup was filled with water, and the other cup contained rubbing alcohol. We left the cups out for two hours to get the full effect. The water was frozen solid, but the alcohol still poured right out of the cup:
Great lesson about the different freezing points of liquids. Also a perfect chance to discuss wind chill, frostbite and hypothermia. Brrrr. Good reason to get warm, too. The cubs treated me to Starbucks last night, so we were able to take the edge off the cold. Thanks, guys! Mama needed it.
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Feb. 5, 2007 - Brought To You By The Letter W And The Number 5
It's been awhile since I've watched "kid" shows. Since we got rid of our cable, Sister and Brother Bear have mostly lost interest in television. When they were babes I semi bought into the "it's educational so it's good for them" sales pitch of the media. Of course, they sell t.v. like any other drug. Push the flash and good feelings and hide the zombie addicted reality.
Baby Bear hasn't shown much interest in t.v., so we've avoided it. About a month ago she saw ten minutes of Sesame Street, though. "Elmo" has become one of the major words in her vocabulary. Scary how quickly that little red guy made it into her heart. So, we're watching a bit of Sesame Street now, and I must admit it's giving me a little journey down memory lane. The Sesame Street in my memory doesn't have Elmo since he came after my time, but I can distinctly remember sitting in front of our old cabinet style television spending my mornings and afternoons with Big Bird, Kermit and the Count. Oh, and there was The Electric Company, 3-2-1 Contact, and Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood! Those were good times.
It is a slippery slope, though. How easy it is to park the littles in front of a DVD. I see now that some kids' DVD's actually have a "play continuously" feature. This is a bit scary in my opinion. Do we really need to be able to let them sit there and watch it over and over and over again? Hey, that's why you teach them how to use the remote. 
Anyway, I know it's cold most places right now. I also know it's colder in many places than in my neck of the woods. Still...it is soooo cold here. With temperatures hovering around zero and wind chills as low as 20 below, our world has creaked to a frozen standstill. Over 500 schools in our metro area were closed today just for the cold. I don't know if it's the blood thinners or what, but I can't last more than a minute outside before I'm miserable. Yesterday, we went to a swim meet, and the walk from the pool to the parking garage was horrible. The hair in my nose literally froze. Not exactly a great mental picture, I know, but quite a unique experience. It's been so long since we've seen temperatures anywhere even near freezing. I just feel like I can't ever get warm. My thoughts always return to praise, though. Thank you Lord for my drafty house! It's a blessing to not be without shelter like so many others.
Well, it's back to our school day. The public school kids may have the day off, but we're pushing through. I'd much rather take the first warm day of spring off or finish early one afternoon to take a swim in the lake. We'll save our "snow" days for a few more months I think.
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Feb. 2, 2007 - So Many Books, So Little Time
Shhh! Don't tell anyone. I, me, Mrs. I Can Do It All By Myself bought a full-fledged curriculum. Shocking I know. In anticipation of the crazy times coming up with my surgery and recovery, I decided it would be better to have things a little more pre-planned. So, we're a Sonlight family now.
The initial sticker shock was enormous. That's more money than I've spent on all of our homeschooling for probably the last three years combined. We own these books now, though, and I miss buying books. I used to buy books more than I bought milk and bread. My bookshelves are full, but when my pockets got empty, it was hard to justify even my used bookstore indulgences. I don't NEED to buy all our schoolbooks. We are blessed with an amazing library system. I know that. Researching, requesting, and keeping track of our 50+ library books a week, though, is going to be impossible for a bit. So, I enjoyed my big, giant, 46 lb. box of books that arrived last week. The cubs were in love as well. It was truly a gift.
Now, the plan was to have the schedule all laid out so that Papa Bear or my Mom can easily keep track of what's going on. Surprise, surprise! Their schedule just isn't going to cut it for us. It's just not detailed enough. Many people don't like Sonlight, because it's too much reading for them, but it's actually much, much LESS than what we're used to. I knew we read a lot, but I guess I didn't realize how much. So, I'm still going to have to beef up the schedule a bit and add armloads more non-fiction books, but their schedule is a great frame to work around. I've always been literature-based in my approach, so Sonlight feels a lot like home.
I have so much planning to do this weekend. Even though I often say I'm going to plan farther ahead, I still only end up actually doing about two weeks at a time (it's the whole library loan thing). I want to get lesson plans laid out until the end of March, though, so I need to re-adjust my thinking big time.
My energy level is amazingly low. My congested liver, fluid filled lungs, and increasingly irregular heartrate make each day a new challenge. I can feel my body counting down the days of how much more it can handle. I'm praying that number matches up with how many days I have left until surgery. I'd much rather do this by the plan than end up with an extra visit to the emergency room like last fall.
We were able to go an amazing field trip yesterday, though. Luna Negra Dance Theater is a mix of ballet, modern dance, samba, and poetry. The company's Latin American roots provided for rich music, and the dancers were top notch in their expression. This was a school showing, so in between pieces the director came out to give mini-lessons on choreography and interpretation. So well done! Even Baby Bear sat on my lap transfixed by the rhythms. I was afraid she would be too wiggly and exhaust me chasing her around the lobby, but it was a lovely experience. I needed a good field trip. It's been too long.
Back to the books for me. It's cramming time. I always was a good test taker. Here's hoping my streak hasn't run out.
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Jan. 27, 2007 - Love, Scandal, and a Couple Beheadings
I always have the cubs do an Independent Study in addition to our other studies. The topic changes about every 6-8 weeks. These studies are something of their own choosing that gives them a chance to learn more about a topic we're not studying at the time. Usually, they're so interested that they do most of the work outside of our regular school hours. It's fun to design these mini-units purely based on a desire to know more. Although my only involvement in the Independent Study is finding the resources, it's one of my favorite parts of our homeschooling. To hear about a topic, to question and wonder, and then to have the freedom to explore that topic until the questions are answered. That's homeschooling to me.
Sister Bear's latest turned out fun, and I want to recommend the topic to other pre-teen/teen girls out there. Here's the resources I used:
The Wives and Children of Henry VIII
Henry VIII: The King, His Six Wives, and His Court by Nick Ford
Books by Carolyn Meyer:
Mary, Bloody Mary
Patience, Princess Catherine
Beware, Princess Elizabeth
Doomed Queen Anne
Nine Days a Queen: The Short Life and Reign of Lady Jane Grey by Ann Rinaldi (o.k., not one of Henry's kids, but she was mixed up in the fight for the throne)
A film version of The Prince and the Pauper
This was the perfect study for Sister Bear. Right up her alley. Historical fiction, non-fiction, and a film to boot. Now, if I could only justify jetting off to England for a field trip...
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Jan. 25, 2007 - Teach Us To Number Our Days
Looks like my surgery dates are set. On February 15, I'll be having balloon dilation of my pulmonary veins to try once again to relieve the pulmonary vein stenosis. This build-up of scar tissue was caused by a procedure I had in June 2006 for a heart arrhythmia. I already did this once last October, but the veins are 80% to 90% blocked again. So, I'll have that done on the 15th and then come home on the 16th for a blessed few days. Then, it's back to the hospital on February 19th for the "big one"----open heart surgery. The surgeon will either repair or replace my tricuspid valve and hopefully halt the progression of the congestive heart failure. He'll also be moving the lead wires of my pacemaker to give me a little more support and protect the valve. Several months later, I'll have to have the balloon dilation again and have stents placed in the pulmonary veins. This can't be done before the open heart because of the risk of blood clots. Fun, fun, fun! Pardon the sarcasm. According to the ticker at the top of this blog I have 25 days before I have my nervous breakdown. We'll stick with laughter until then...
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Jan. 19, 2007 - Blogger Friend School Assignment 14
This week's assignment is to post my family's menu for the week. All meals and snacks included. Extra credit for posting a month's worth of meals, but that's not going to happen! I don't like planning that far ahead with cooking---too many things can change. I like to plan about a week at a time now.
Breakfast and lunch are "fend for yourself" meals at our house. For breakfast, there's always a choice of cereal, bagels, or oatmeal. Occasionally I make eggs or pancakes. We like to have breakfast for dinner every couple weeks, so we get our fair share of biscuits and gravy or egg strata.
This school year I have used lunch time as a mini home economics course. If we're all eating the same thing, I'll usually make lunch, but otherwise the cubs are free to choose what sounds good that day. We always have lunchmeat, tuna, soup, and the occasional frozen chicken nugget or pizza on hand. They're learning a lot about how to use the stove and valuable skills I wish I'd taught them sooner. Sometimes they still struggle with making balanced food choices, but they're getting better (although they still try to eat carbs in unbelievable amounts).
Snack is the same idea as lunch. I try to allow the least amount of junk food in the house as possible, so it's easy to keep track of what they eat. They must always ask permission to get a snack or any drink that's not milk, water or juice.
Here's what we ate this week. We rarely eat red meat, so it's chicken and ground turkey in all my recipes. I try to eat seafood every week, but I can only do that when Papa Bear isn't here. He came home early on mahi mahi night, so I switched my menu around. I'll just move that to next week.
Saturday: BBQ pulled pork sandwiches, baked potatoes, corn
Sunday: Chicken penne alfredo, salad
Monday: Turkey casserole, carrots
Tuesday: Chili, carrots
Wednesday: Enchiladas, salad
Thursday: Chicken club sandwiches, roasted potatoes, carrots
Friday: Baked beans with ham, fruit
Saturday: Spaghetti dinner fundraiser for swim team
We ate a lot of carrots this week for some reason. We usually have green beans or broccoli as well. Hmmm. Other than that, looks like it turned out pretty typical. Now, Baby Bear consumed some of the above plus any other thing she could get her hands on. I've never seen a child eat like her. "Bowl! Bowl! Bowl!" O.K. O.K. Somebody put something in that baby's bowl----quick!!!!
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Jan. 16, 2007 - A Typical Day At Our House
I forgot to do the monthly glimpse into our homeschool world before we took Christmas break. Here's a January day in all its glory (or predictable normalcy, whichever you prefer).
8:00 a.m. Baby Bear wakes, but she's willing to snuggle for a little bit longer. The brightness of the light in the room tells me the weather forecast was correct---snow. Yesterday morning, it was close to 50 degrees and raining so much we were in a flood warning. Twenty-four hours later, it's low 20's and we have a snow advisory all day. Great Lakes weather. Gotta love it.
9:30 a.m. Breakfast has been eaten all around and everyone seems to be highly motivated today (shh! don't jinx it!). Brother Bear begins reading two books about Hatshepsut, Queen of Egypt. Sister Bear fills the bird feeder with only a short glare of contempt in my direction. They spend the next couple of hours alternating activities. On the schedule for today: read books about Hatshepsut and write a minimum two page biography of her, read half of a longer book about Carl Linnaeus, the father of classification, in preparation for tomorrow's written biography, one lesson of math, and a trip to one of our nature centers for their homeschool science class.
10:30 a.m. I magically convince Baby Bear to take an early nap since we'll be gone in the afternoon. I get a few things done around the house and take a shower. Readers of our schedule might question when it is that I "teach" the cubs. Well, it depends on what sense of the word that you mean. The first few years, it was a different world around here as far as my involvement. I taught in the more traditional way. Now, I think our style is very much like a college education. The cubs read most of the material on their own, and then the true connection making and material application comes through our discussions. We don't actually sit down at the table and say, "Let's discuss now". It's more likely to be over grilled cheese sandwiches, in the car, or a thousand other normal moments. I make myself available, and the inevitable, "Did you know...." and "What does this mean..." statements pour out. After they write their response to the reading or create the project we've decided on, I talk over the subject matter with them and pose questions. If they can answer my questions, they've learned. If they can ask questions, they've learned even more. We spend just as much time as we used to talking about what they're learning, it's just become less one-sided.
11:30 a.m. It's time for lunch and time to get motivated. We eat quickly and head out to the nature center. Another strange thing about our weather----it changes drastically depending on which area of town you're in. We don't live in the "snow belt", so we had 3-4 inches. I drive about five miles south of here and hit near white out conditions. Luckily our side of the interstate had fairly logical drivers who did strange things like drive at a reasonable speed and maintain a large distance between cars. The other side of the interstate had no such luck. I saw over ten separate wrecks, spun out cars, or a mixture of the two. We made it safely, though. No one stops for snow around here (obviously).
1:00-2:30 p.m. Now the homeschool science class does this same topic every January---snow! We haven't had hardly any snow this season, but it finally showed up today on cue. They hiked and observed snow crystals. Then they made H2O marshmallow molecule models. Also, they learned how to make snowflake fossils, which is basically preserving the imprint of the snowflake on a microscope slide.
My girls walking on a snowy afternoon. Lovely.
3:00 p.m. The drive back is less eventful. We all decide that Baby Bear should finish the nap we woke her up from. The older cubs finish up their work and then relax.
5:00 p.m. I mix up a pot of chili and crochet Sister Bear this hat while it simmers.
6:00-8:00 p.m. More lounging and a bit chores. Usually there would be swim team practice tonight, but there's not. Sister Bear is learning to play our electronic keyboard, so she practices diligently. Brother Bear gets lost in an imaginary world only little boys know of.
8:30 p.m. Papa Bear finally gets home. He's working on his master's degree, and this is a school night for him. We catch up on the day's events. He gives Baby Bear her bath and things start to wind down.
10:30 p.m. Family devotions and prayer time. Bedtime for the cubs. We night owls stretch the day just a little bit longer. One more typical day.
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Jan. 15, 2007 - Shabbat Shalom
We're not huge fans of electronic entertainment at our house. We've always had strict rules and time limits for t.v., computer, and video games. We don't have cable t.v. or handheld game systems. We take breaks and enjoy each other's company. I thought we had a pretty good handle on the influence of technology in our lives. A couple weeks ago, we sat down as a family to revise our rules about electronics, since we've added the Dance Praise to the mix, and some other things have changed. We discussed each area with the cubs and had them help us decide time limits, rules of behavior, and consequences. By the way, this is a great way to get your kids to follow rules. If they are a part of creating them, they're much less likely to balk at the rules being enforced. Papa Bear does this all the time with his clients. He has found it extremely successful. Believe it or not, kids come up with stricter rules than adults! Time and again, the cubs would suggest harsher consequences or shorter time limits. Papa Bear has this happen with almost every family he sees. Interesting.
After we finished the rule revision discussion, I suggested something radical. What if we designated time each month as "electronic-free days"? No television, computer, video games, ipod---not even any checking e-mail for the grown-ups. Just us left to our own devices to entertain ourselves. Like camping, but without the marshmallows. Even better, we could do it on Sunday and make it a celebration of the Sabbath. Out with flickering screens and fun in a box. In with peace, rest, and thinking outside the box (literally).
For over a year now, Sunday at our house has been far from peaceful. With Papa Bear working from afternoon to almost midnight, it's been a day of rush and stress. Run to church. Run back home. Run errands. Rush, rush, rush. Praise the Lord, Papa Bear's work schedule has changed, though! His Sundays are now free, and I can hardly think of wasting them. This joyful occurence calls for some special events.
Yesterday was our first day of Shabbat Shalom (Sabbath Peace). The day started out well. We were on time to church and touched by the word received. Lunch went smoothly and Baby Bear went down for her nap easily. Then the Stars Wars Monopoly came out. Things got interesting. Nerves started wearing a bit thin. For a family that seemingly had our priorities in line, we were going through some major withdrawal! I had already been surprised at how many times I wanted to be on the computer. Checking the weather, e-mail, finding a recipe, requesting library books----huge parts of my life involve the computer. I find that a bit frightening. Sister and Brother Bear enjoy reading, playing games, and just hanging out, but they didn't realize how much they liked that forty-five minutes of Gamecube thrown in to break up the monotony. Having down time is still so foreign to Papa Bear that he wandered the house looking for something to do. He could not sit still, so he organized the basement (yeah, he was that desperate!). I crocheted, and then I crocheted, and then I got sick of crocheting. So we played a board game, and we're still alive to talk about it! No one died or was seriously injured, even though our attitudes stunk up the room with a rotten odor. But somewhere between Dantooine and Alderaan (this is the Star Wars version of Monopoly, remember), we got over it. We remembered what peace is all about.
A candlelit dinner complete with special homemade bread (see above) continued the peace. A game of Twister, a book, a round of Bible charades with Baby Bear as a prop (oh so cute playing the part of Jesus being baptized, perhaps not so cute playing the part of Abel), and we closed the day with devotions. We discussed the good, the bad, and what we can do next time to make it better. (#1-- More time in personal and family worship)
Right now, our plan is to have Shabbat Shalom two Sundays a month. I'm interested to see what happens next time. I'm also interested to see if this changes our attitude throughout the week. Whenever we feel a little too drawn to whatever it is that we raise as an idol, let us lay it down and turn to each other in peace.
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Jan. 12, 2007 - Blogger Friend School Assignment 13
This week's assignment celebrates what makes us all unique as a family. We are to write about what makes our family stand out and hopefully show to the world that we are children of God. To join Blogger Friend School, visit Training Hearts.
To most of the world, being a homemaking, homeschooling, Christian family would be the immediate thing that stands out about us, but around this blogging neck of the woods, that's not unique.
What I hope will absolutely scream, "God is at work in our family!", is that we run a charity group. Project Rest Assured provides crocheted, knitted, quilted and sewn afghans and blankets to children in foster care.
Social work is all that Papa Bear has ever done, and I must say that he is now Super Therapist providing intense home therapy to families in crisis. So proud of him!!!! Although I don't miss having a job outside of the home one tiny little morsel, I do miss working with this population of kids. Last May, I was itching to provide something for Papa Bear's clients. I had already been crocheting for charity, but I knew that the kids in foster/residential care are not a large focus in the charity crafting community. I knew there was no way I could ever make enough afghans for all the kids myself, so I decided to start a Yahoo! group to draw people from all over. I felt God telling me repeatedly that he would make himself known through PRA. It is his group. I just do the paperwork.
God has used Project Rest Assured to touch kids and adults alike in ways that continue to astound me. We now have close to 70 members all over North America. From Alaska to Florida. From Ontario to Texas. God has brought an amazing collection of women into my life.
This winter, we've collected several hundred scarves, hats, and gloves. This week, we completed our 200th afghan! Amazing.
Project Rest Assured is a family business. I taught Papa Bear to crochet specifically so he could help assemble the squares that people send me into finished afghans. On any given evening, you can find us in our respective easy chairs crocheting away. I love that about Papa Bear. He evens crochets in public, despite the odd looks sometimes. Real men crochet! Sister and Brother Bear are trying to improve their crochet skils to help, but for now they work in the background. They help me sort squares, take pictures to update the website, dodge yarn at every turn, label and prepare the afghans for delivery, and make our monthly rounds of children's homes and family service agencies to give out the gifts. The group is a constant reminder to the cubs that our mission on earth is to serve others first, even when it's not easy.
Sometimes, it is overwhelming. The group can consume my days. Answering e-mails, planning, coordinating, and the neverending assembling goes on and on. This is a light burden, though, compared to the blessings that pour in. I have found that there are people everywhere who want to help others, but they don't know how. I'm just the vehicle providing them an opportunity to share the love of God with hurting children. I'm grateful to God for using our family in this way.
Here's a picture of the afghans that have been donated in the last month. Oh, baby!
Do you crochet, knit, sew, or can you tie fleece together? I have a place for you. Visit us at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/project_rest_assured to find out more.
There are over 500,000 children in foster care in America.
We touch their lives, one lapghan at a time.
Project Rest Assured
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Jan. 7, 2007 - Game Face
Having two older children and a toddler makes for a wealth of deja vu moments, glaring contradictions, and eerie similarities. With Baby Bear, her accomplishments are easily measured. One day she doesn't do a certain thing, and the next day, "ta-da!", she does it. Like this week, a major milestone. She learned to say our dog's name. Perhaps not a huge mark on the overall scale of accomplishments, but for us, it's an achievement. A moment worth celebrating.
Sister and Brother Bear have those moments, too, but in such different ways. When I see it most is at swim meets. The actual race is adrenaline laced semi-frenzy, but it's not the biggest moment for me. No, I'm a sucker for the start. They climb the starting blocks and do their pre-race routine: Sister Bear adjusts her goggles, and Brother Bear stares straight ahead to the end of the pool. Then at the call to take their marks, they fling their hands down to the edge of the block, gripping it in expectation. That's my moment---that's definitely the one where I'm overwhelmed. My little babies who used to toddle around with crumbs at the corners of their mouths now have a game face---and it's intimidating!
The hairs always stand up on the back of my neck to see them on the starting block. Up there, it's bigger than life, than anything I can control or even influence. It's them against the swimmer in the next lane. It's them against themselves. When did they become so separate from me? Why is that scary and joyous at the same time? Up in the bleachers I hold my breath with the contradiction of Baby Bear clinging to me as I watch her siblings pull away.
Cheering for that last push at the end of the race is nailbiting, but that second before they take the dive is the one that tells me they're growing up so fast. So, so fast. Dog names and ambition. It's a lot of maturing for one week.
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Jan. 6, 2007 - Blogger Friend School Assignment 12
The assignment for Blogger Friend School this week is to write about our Hits and Misses of 2006. For homeschooling and for life in general. To join Blogger Friend School visit Training Hearts.
Hits
* Biggest hit has got to be our first celebration of Advent. The readings, the Jesse Tree, and the wreath made for the most focused Christmas season we've ever had. The peace and joy throughout the household was a gift.
* Curriculum wise, I'm enjoying Apologia's books for the K-6 crowd. We have Exploring Creation with Botany and Exploring Creation with Zoology: Flying Creatures of the Fifth Day. We hope to do the oceanography book as well. This is my first time following a science curriculum rather than completely designing my own. Although I still add quite a bit to the study with outside resources, these are great "spines". I can easily see how this series could be exciting for a first grader yet meaty enough for my pre-teens. Home Science Tools has kits that you can order with all the supplies for the experiments. The experiments themselves are easy to perform and prepare for. The text is readable and not dry. All the bases are covered in a logical fashion. I look forward to the high school Apologia books.
* Curriculum catalogs. O.K. I know I'm a very strange homeschooler since I didn't know Sonlight from A Beka from a hole in the ground until about six months ago. Since we never bought curriculum, I never sought out any information about the various companies and styles. As we transition into the middle grades, we will be adding on more standardized courses of study, though, so in 2006, I tried to learn what everyone else is doing. It's been interesting reading reviews, forums, and personal experiences. Every time I hear or read someone mention a resource, I go to their website and request a catalog if they have one or at least look at the online version. Seeing what others do has given me a wealth of ideas and more sharply shaped my views of the direction we as a family should follow.
* Project Feeder Watch. We continue to count birds for Cornell University. We now have a pet squirrel named Rocky, and we are the most popular yard on the block for our flying friends. Someone's always looking out the window and commenting about what's at the feeder at any given moment. It's one constant learning opportunity.
* 2006 was the year of the swaps. Some were hits and some were big giant misses. Postcrossing has been very successful. It is an international postcard exchange. We send and receive postcards all over the world. The administration of their site is exceptional. They're quick, efficient, and professional. We haven't had one bad experience with another member. They send their postcards out on time and are usually quick to register our cards that have been received. This is an area I need to do better about. You can't receive a postcard until you send one and the person registers it online that you did indeed send the card. Sometimes I take too long registering ours which is extremely disrespectful of me. Will do better!
Mixed Bag----Jury's Still Out Whether It's a Hit or a Miss
* We are also participating in a Flat Traveling group. We create letter size drawings of people who travel to other parts of the world to visit another homeschool family. Based on the book Flat Stanley, our little flat traveler spends a week or two and arrives back with pictures, souveniers, and information about another geographical location. Now, that's how it's supposed to work. We've had flats that have seemingly dropped off the face of the earth and taken months to return. It gets very frustrating. I'm still hopeful, though. I have a couple flats going out now, and we have some coming our way as well. I know this can be a valuable experience if we just get a few successful trades under our belts.
* Online homeschool groups, forums, and e-mail lists. Some are good. Some are not so good. Some are just plain awful. I'm doing better at being a cautious consumer of the online homeschool world. I'm doing my best to take the good and leave the bad.
Misses
* I don't want to list any specific resources that have been a miss for us, simply because I know that they were only misses for my individual kids. The material itself would probably be fine for someone else. I continue to hunt for a Bible study for kids that isn't childish. Do you know what I mean? I don't like to waste money, and I definitely wasted my money last year on a not-so-cheap Bible program. If I ever wrote a book, it would be a Bible study for pre-teens. Too grown up for Moses in the basket fluff of "children's" bibles. Too young for the dating issue filled "teen" studies. There's gotta be something out there for that in-between age.
* We joined a homeschool pen pal group and a homeschool swap group. Both have been misses. The pen pals haven't written back often, and even though they're the same age as the cubs, they're just not matches personality or development wise. This is a tough age. Kids can be the same age chronologically yet on vastly different planes. Wish that had worked out better.
* Cleaning schedules. Can't seem to find one that sticks. A lot of that has to do with my health and energy level, though, so I'll be hopeful for 2007.
Wow! I learned a lot in 2006. There's a ton of other things that were hits and misses, so I could go on and on. I hope 2007 is as full of opportunities. The misses do come and they can be troubling, but if you find that one truly great hit out of all the hassle, it's worth every single minute.
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Jan. 4, 2007 - Dead Leaves
I'm drawn to trees in winter. There's something about their shape and nakedness that I find appealing. With the leaves stripped away, the skeleton shows through and reveals a whole different dimension. Green leaves are lovely, but the architecture of a tree like this one, can't be appreciated under all the leaves.
We visited the botanical garden today since the temperature was a balmy 48 degrees. The entire city seems utterly confused by the lack of snow. They just don't know how to behave. I've seen several different people in shorts, which I think is a little overly optimistic, but I understand their enthusiasm. It is odd to run out the door without worrying about where my gloves are, though. A lot of people seemed to be doing what we were doing today. Getting outside while we still had the chance. The garden was a busy place.
I've been feeling a bit like a dried up leaf lately. A shadow of my former self. Seeing the garden made me feel better, though. There's still beauty in the winter.
We always end our visit with a walk through the indoor rainforest area. When we opened the door, I was overwhelmed by the smell of the growing things. I never noticed that smell in other seasons until it was such a sharp contrast to the outdoors now.
The tortoise was lounging in his typical spot among the cacti.
The butterflies were active as well.
What a good lesson this was for me today. The stark contrast of God's creation. Death, life, and that in between hopefulness. It's chilly and windy and barren sometimes. It's lush and moist and thriving other times. Variety. That's God. He's never boring.
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Jan. 2, 2007 - Auld Lang Syne
We had a wonderful New Year's Eve. It has become our tradition to not eat a regular supper that night, but rather we stuff ourselves with an array of hors devours. We had mozzarella sticks, crab rangoons, stuffing wrapped in bacon and glazed with a sweet and sour sauce (yummy in my tummy!), Chex mix, fruit with dip, and sherbet punch. It's fun for the cubs to have license to eat nothing but a bunch of junk for one night. Oddly, though, an appetizer only meal is not less work for me. On the contrary, timing all the different little goodies to be done at the same time was worse than the logistics of Christmas dinner. After we ate, I put the leftovers in the crock pot to stay warm, and we munched on and off till midnight. Fun and different for the cubs, yet different and not so fun for Papa and Mama Bear's digestive systems. 
Ah, but the pain was worth anything wrapped in bacon!
While we waited for the big moment, we played games and sang karaoke. For Christmas, we bought Sister Bear Dance Praise, and we're very pleased. This Christian version of the popular dance arcade game is great exercise, which is so much better than the mindless draw of video games. Plus, if I have to listen to unnerving dance mixes of songs over and over and over and over, I'd much rather they be Christian songs. This version plugs into the computer, so as the music plays, images on the screen tell you what spots on the dance pad you have to hit with your feet. There are different levels of difficulty ranging from slow and easy to faster than fast. Here's a picture of the action:
I like this picture, because they all three have the same exact look on their faces. Too funny to watch Baby Bear try and get in on the dancing. Thankfully, it didn't last long. She was more interested in the Chex mix!
As we left church on Sunday, one of the pastors asked us whether our plans were to go out or stay in. It made me remember other New Year's Eve celebrations, when I gave in to the party philosophy of our society. I was young and dumb and easily swayed by public opinion. I'll give myself a little bit of grace because of that. I'm glad times have changed. Gone are the days of dancing till dawn in an alcohol-induced daze to "celebrate" the passing of another year. Why is starting out the year with a hangover ever anyone's idea of a good time? I much prefer ginger ale toasts with the older cubs, a long kiss from Papa Bear, and a Baby Bear snuggled in her crib to any former New Year's Eve. This one's a keeper.
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Dec. 28, 2006 - Blogger Friend School Assignment 11
I've joined the Blogger Friend School hosted by Training Hearts. That's pretty unlike me. I have yet to connect with the blogging community per se (I don't even respond to tags), but it's not that I'm unfriendly. Rather, I know that if I let blogging become my world, it would be a large stumbling block. I've seen many bloggers struggle with that very thing recently, and I pray that they will find balance. I fiercely guard mine.
Training Hearts has come up with some good, encouraging ideas, though, without a lot of fluff. I'm looking forward to meeting all my classmates (and get some blogging topics, too!).
This week's assignment is to post my goals for 2007. Hmmm. This is going to be interesting. Some years, I could have picked generalities like exercising more or reading more. I could have been lighthearted and it would have been easy. Problem is, I know that 2007 will be one of the most challenging years of my life, and it would be unwise to ignore that truth. I refuse to be all darkness and gloom, though. 2007 is going to be the year of God's grace.
Homeschooling
1) Do a better job of archiving and tracking our progress. Scrapbook, take pictures, don't let finished and unfinished projects pile up, get lost, or become mangled by Baby Bear.
2) Finish on time! July 31st or bust!
3) Actually write out my schedule. Sure, I know what we're doing and when we'll do it, but the cubs like to have a schedule to refer to. Have at least a month's worth of plans ready at any given time on paper---not just in my mental filing cabinet.
Spiritual
1) Read through the New Testament and Psalms during our family devotion time.
2) Don't let family devotion time serve as personal devotion time.
Personal/Financial
1) Continue being responsible with our finances and leave any financial worries in God's hands where they belong.
2) Make friends with at least one couple from our new church.
Health
Here's the tough one. I had three surgeries in 2006. I know I have to have open heart surgery in early 2007, and possibly another angioplasty on my pulmonary veins. My goal is simply to live. To be here next December to write goals for 2008. I'm tired of searching for the cure and running after the life everyone else has. I just want to be here a little bit longer. If I can feel better and live better, that's bonus.
So....
1) Recover from surgery as quickly as possible.
2) Follow my low salt diet.
3) Take a 2 mile hike with the cubs like we used to by December 2007.
Happy New Year!
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Dec. 26, 2006 - Yuletide
Christmas and the entire Advent season ended up being exactly the peaceful and focused time I wanted to be. It didn't happen by chance, though. It was a constant effort to consciously turn my mind from the consumer-driven worldview to a Christ-view. I'm thankful to God for the gift of this season.
We enjoyed learning about the traditions of the new church we're attending. It's an extremely old congregation, that's literally dripping with tradition. The days of famous families and bursting attendance figures has passed, but the traditions live on. They're in the perfect building for it, too. The cathedralesque structure is just begging for an old-fashioned Christmas.
Sister and Brother Bear both shined in the children's choir program on the 10th. Then, there was a special service on the 17th of song and scripture that was the perfect entry to the week of celebration. This weekend's services stole the show, though. On Christmas Eve, we enjoyed a pagaent complete with live animals. Seeing the huge camel tuck his head under the doorframe just to enter the sanctuary and strut his stuff down the aisle amid the stained glass and candles was a sight. Baby Bear usually has some kind of name for every animal she sees, even if it's only a babble of baby sounds. She was intrigued by the sheep, the donkey and the llama, but she had no words for the camel. She had no idea what that thing could be.
This is only the second year I've cooked a Christmas meal. Not living near my mother has forced me to learn the ways of all day mass cooking. I had originally planned on having ham, but Papa Bear's work ended up giving him a giant turkey instead of a Christmas bonus. So, we had both turkey and ham, make ahead mashed potatoes, dressing, green bean almondine, glazed carrots, cranberry salad, and a whole bunch of dessert munchies thanks to my mother-in-law. Oh, and don't forget the Chex mix and cheese ball, which it just wouldn't be a holiday without!
I knew that loss of appetite was a possible side effect of my heart failure, but it has taken on an extreme twist. I've completely lost my sensation of hunger, and when I do eat, I feel full very quickly. This just recently started, and the first few days, it took me awhile to catch on. I was getting lightheaded and sick feeling from low blood sugar. Now though, I'm making myself eat something every few hours, even though sometimes I have to choke it down. Hey, it may not be a fun diet plan, but it might have some added benefits in the weight department! 
I don't normally post pics of the cubs. I like security and anonymity, but I think I'll give in and include some photos of the cuteness now and then. Who can resist a face like this?
I guess it's time to finally clean out that roasting pan that's been looking at me since yesterday. Sigh. The fun's over!
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Dec. 23, 2006 - Peace
I refuse to leave the house today.
We went grocery shopping last night, Santa got in his UPS truck and brought the last of the gifts yesterday, and it's getting colder. There's absolutely no reason to leave.
I did take a shower, but I purposely put clean pajamas on instead of regular clothes. I'm committed. I'm staying home.
I'm going to crochet, and watch silly movies, and teach Baby Bear "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes".
I'm going to make dinner and popcorn.
Last minute shopping and last minute hurrying and scurrying are not on my agenda.
The laundry? The cleaning? Well, I'll do what needs to be done, but only in between naps and snuggles. I have my priorities.
Home, sweet home and a silent night.
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