Posted in Deep thinkin

no, I'm not talking about the summery shoes, those rubberized torture devices that rub blisters in between the uninitiated toes of winter-cozied feet.  It's the flip-flops of life.

Lately, we've seen and felt a few.  Have you?

In the practical nature:

 we've seen my mother-in-law go from what doctors were declaring as her "death bed" to being at home, with assistance, and going in daily for rehabilitation...all through God's Gracious Hand and answered prayer!

 I've gone from daily migraines and a constant daily headache to having only 4 migraines and no constant drone of an ache in a month, Praise God!

I've seen three families reunited in our church, so far, with several more expected to be so in the next few days, after being separated for a YEAR, due to military service in Iraq.    I can't help but cry for joy when I think of them!

...those and several more.  We all have daily flip-flops that happen, things that we THOUGHT were going to work in ONE way, but they were turned to work in another.  And why did they work out in that way?  Did the WHY really matter?  (at least the "you knowing the why" part) How did YOU react?  (don't answer ME, answer YOU...I'm not the one who needs to know! )

Those of you who know me IRL, or who have known me online or in message groups for several years know that I'm not a deep philosophical thinker, but I've been doing some thinking lately.  A lot of it.  As the fog from my headaches has cleared, and I've been able to link more thoughts together and hold onto them solidly, God's been leading me through dealing with my own behaviors and reactions.  The home has become a mite more peaceful, I might say, in the process, and we're accomplishing so much more in so many different ways.  We're not "there" yet, but we're baby-stepping our way there daily. 

Now back to those flip-flops.  God tells us that "All things work together for good"...but we usually stop there in our quoting.  Let's keep going (oh, this is so cool...I couldn't remember this verse last week, but I can THIS week!  I could CRY!) with the verse: "For we know that all things work together for good to them who love God, and to them who are the called, according to his purpose."  (Romans 8:28)

Okay, you've just experienced a flip-flop.  Why?  In the simple, "because all things work together for good"...BUT...did ya catch the part I italicized above?  The "according to His purpose" part?  Did God have a purpose for that flip-flop?  Now don't go and "spiritualize" the change in plans you just experienced.  But know that GOD did and does have a purpose for it. 

For example, last night, a dear friend was to come over to our house with her two dear children.  It did not work out for reasons understandable.  Now, yes, we were both disappointed, but we got over it.  I don't know how her evening went, with her two sons and two silly  s (I just wanted to use that icon!), but ours here was really peaceful and the kids ate dinner, and headed to bed peacefully and without argument, a little early, even.  They fell asleep exhausted, and I got to work on my quilt for a while and watched an episode of one of my favorite television shows as well.  Just relaxed, period.  It was no earth-shattering evening, but it was a very peaceful evening.  If you've ever experienced the Thornburg Zoo in the evening, you'd know how rare that is.  I consider the day well-seized.  And my friend will come over another day.  Hopefully with her dear hubby as well, who is expected home any day now....I can't wait to see the family all together!  Hooah!

Posted in Deep thinkin

...at least around here, it is.  and literally around HERE!  ;)

I'm cleanin' up...and lettin' the leaves fall!  hee hee!  I just LOVE Autumn.  I even love SPELLING autumn.            autumn, autumn, autumn!        ROFL!  It's just beautiful here in Germany this time of year.  The fam and I took this last Saturday "off" and walked around a lake about 20 minutes from our home, called Ohmbachsee.  (that would mean "lake near Ohmbach" to those uninitiated ;)) and it was wonderful!  Pics to come!

I've been contemplative a lot lately.  With good reason.  There's been a lot happen around and with me in recent months and I've just been taking stock.  Learning to stop and smell the roses, if you wish to wax poetic.  Learning to stop and enjoy the children to be perfectly honest.  I am a "get it done and move on" type of gal.  Raised by a Type A, Career Teacher, Momma who loves her children, but is only NOW learning to slow down and enjoy them, when the GRANDchildren are young enough to enjoy.  I saw that in my own mother, when we were back in the US on emergency leave (she was NOT the one who was ill, but lived within an hour and we visited twice and three of our children stayed three days with Mom and Dad).  Ooookay...wakeup call to MommaBeck!  Enjoy 'em NOW. 

While we're there...an update on my Mother In Law...she's doing quite well.  She was released from the hospital in Tulsa and into the hospital in Stillwater, into a regular room about a week and a half ago, and was in physical rehab there, and was expected to return HOME near the end of this past week.  I have not called this weekend yet to check.  She will still remain on portable oxygen, as her lungs are in terrible condition, from years of smoking and development of COPD, among other issues.  Her previously untreated diabetes is now under control and will be treated, and her liver and kidneys are functioning.  Her memory of the bitterness that she carried for so long is lacking, so I believe that this is a gift of God through it all.  I pray that she will see Him in it as well and come to Him in a Saving Faith.

Since we've returned, there have been changes in our family itself, and in me, specifically, and I think that finally, I'm on the road to not having a headache.  I have had a (now get this...it took a PhD to figure this out...) "chronic daily headache" for literally years, and I've now had most of two weeks without one.  It's been an odd two weeks, with odd side effects from this medication, but I believe that it will, in the end, treat the cause/root of the problem, and not just the the bandaid to stop the pain.  I'm not a bandaid kinda gal (and if so, it's gotta be cute, like Hello Kitty or somethin' ;)), I want to get to the WHY of the matter. 

SO, without the headache, between having tingly fingers and a numb ear (LOL!), I have learned that my oldest son has a great sense of humor, my two year old is the biggest clown ever born, that my youngest son is learning to read as fast or faster than my oldest son and that my oldest daughter is maturing into a real young lady.  Now, instead of rushing through the day, I am able to remind myself to slow down and enjoy those moments and really SEE the changes in my children before they pass me by.  The leaves are falling...what will the blooms look like next spring? 

Never mind...I'm not ready to see that yet! ;)

Posted in Deep thinkin

I thought I'd hop on tonight and try to ramble out something.  I've been reading blogs, even doing som random blogging in the late nights and early mornings.  Have even commented on several blogs out there.  In the last few bleary days, I've learned a few things:

1. It's hard to type when you can't clearly see the screen through bleary eyes. 

2. It's hard to sleep soundly when  your husband is not home, and your house is over 100 years old and it creaks ALL the time.

3.  It's just plain hard to sleep when your husband is not home.   (thought that little guy was appropriate!)

Altogether, though...I've mostly learned that I can't do this.  Not by myself.  I can ONLY do this (temporary single parenting/military wife/problem solver for the household and surrounding family) through CHRIST'S strength.  He is Gracious enough to grant me the grace and strength to get through each day, and love me while I'm getting through that day. 

He is Gracious enough to love me even when I feel as if *I* am falling apart.  He is Gracious enough to hold me together until I can stand on my own two feet to care for a child who has a hurting heart, and then Gracious enough to hold us together as we snuggle and pray. 

Yes, I'm sad, but there are others who are sadder.  There are others who do not have this hope of eternity with the Living Lord.

Yes, I'm lonely, but there are others who are far lonelier.  There are others who do not have the God of all Comfort to hold them when they ache.

Yes, I'm weak, but I also have the Capable Hands of the Creator of the Universe to hold me up, where some do not. 

I am thankful for what I HAVE, and am working to keep my focus on where it should be.  It is *I* who must focus, and He will bless me with the ability to get through the situation. 

Praying you all sleep well tonight,

beck

(PS: sorry to have gotten so serious on ya...Insanity to return soon!...or maybe I'm already there!  )