I have a "Praise Report" to post. I don't get too many "golden moments" with my parents and am so happy to share yesterday's treasure. Firstly, why do I continue to doubt the good Lord's intentions? I made myself physically sick yesterday morning worrying about the visit and not focusing on His intentions. I asked Him to shower our visit  with His divine mercy and grace, and He did that and more.

     They were ready for an outing when I got to their room so we awaited my sister's arrrival to begin our getaway in their old "chariot." Mom's cellulitis in her legs seems to be getting better and the swelling is going down. The wonderful nursing staff are keeping them wrapped in Ace bandages, and she looked better than she has in the past few weeks. Dad was dressed and ready too. Yeah!

     We took them to a local restaurant called Sunshine Cafe for lunch. This used to be mom's favorite  place to eat and for years, she and dad ate there after her hair appointments. My sister took charge of wheel chair duties which was such a blessing for my hands and feet (EM didn't roar its ugly head yesterday).  After stuffing ourselves silly, we took them to DICK'S  to get mom new shoes. We couldn't remember when she had a new pair of shoes. She wore my disgards for too many years.

     Then, came the drive to their old home. Inside, I felt butterflies swirling around and I prayed silently. My sister on the other hand took an aggressive tack and prayed outloud. While waiting for the proverbial "other shoe to drop" on our outing, I was so relieved when it appeared to be a non-event. Maybe mom was doing a happy dance because she had new shoes? Our most vocal parent (mom) didn't say much. Both were glad to see it and said that the yard was being kept up nicely. Wow! Thank you Jesus!!! 

     When we got back to their new digs, we told them that the house was empty and that most of their possessions were stored by family. Mom again took the news well while dad became stone faced. I need to call and talk with him today, hoping that he will give it to me straight if he needs to get his feelings about the news off his chest. 

     I am so very thankful that my sister was in control of her emotions during the visit and was such a great help.  I left the nursing home with warm, love-filled emotions for her, and am shamefully aware that I cannot remember having these feelings for her in so years. I now have a new found respect for my older sibling and know in my heart that Jesus is drawing us both closer to each other and to HIm, whose Will was blessedly done yesterday.            

     I hope you all have enjoyed my S&T today. Please go to Mary 's blog and check out more S&T posts, as they are all so wonderful and worthy of your read.  I pray that your weekend ahead is blessed with God's divine mercies. He is so faithful

     This past Sunday we celebrated Father's Day at my parents new "home." I don't think dad felt too well and mom is suffering from cellulitis, but we honered the special men in our lives at this gathering with good food and loving conversation, then went up to their room to watch Charlotte's Web. 

     Have any of you sweet ladies who have elderly grandparents (or parents, if your my age) had to tell them that all of their possessions are gone, that nothing remains in their home? Or, listened to your parents while they told you about letting them know? How did it go? Were they told before or after? These are hard questions that are eating at me. 

     My sister was asked by dad where his truck and car were and she told him that they were safer at her home than staying at their home, not the real truth that they now belong to her.  He was wondering about the machinery and tools that used to be in his garage too.They know that their clothes are at my home and have been told that the house will be put on the market soon, but we have not told  them of the weekends spent with their grandchildren dejunking. This week, they forgot about the house being ready for maket, and the idea of the nursing home being their new home hasn't quite gelled.

     My sister now says that we did everything wrong, that we didn't let tell them about our dejunking their house before we started. My problem is that she pushed to get rid of everything fast in early spring, while I kept dragging my feet.  Now its WE were wrong. She wants to take them to a family reunion in July and is worried about confronting "the ELEPHANT in the car," or their request to stop by their house that day. My DH said that he would go with me to show the house to dad, but we would need to tell him first. So, now I need to "man up" and tell them before the car trip, right? Call me chicken but I don't want to tell them by myself. 

     After visiting with them yesterday, I am stumped on what to say. Would it do any good to tell them? My mom is suffering with cellulitis and is in bed with her legs elevated, and isn't asking about going home, while dad is acting like a caged lion. He wants to see his house, remembering it with all of his worldly possessions intact, not disbanded as it sits in its current state. He told me yesterday that he thought he would have to hop on a bicylce and ride there. Help! I could use some advice from those of  you who have been down this path, or have tales from your parents.       

     Yesterday we started a new tradition, I think. Since mom and dad are now residing in a nursing home, we were able to enjoy Father's Day in a large conference room provided for family functions and staff meetings. We were thankful that it was available. Jenn and family brought a huge bucket of KFC with all the trimmings, along with a wonderful key lime cheesecake,  and DH and I brought Subway sandwiches and drinks. You can tell that we didn't mind letting someone else do the cooking.

     My dad seemed to be in a quiet mood, maybe a little overwhelmed with all of the activity surrounding him, but mom loves a party and was not phased at all. She has a new bout with cellulitis. Her poor legs are swollen and redish purple. Her skin looks like it could burst as it is so tight and shiny. If you push a finger into the swollen part of her leg, it sinks about an inch. She is taking an antibiotic and a water pill. Boy, I hope that does the trick. 

     We went to their room to watch "Charlotte's Web" after our feast. Dad went to sleep on and off. I could tell that he wasn't feeling particularly good. DH had spent Saturday on top of our 2-story home's roof  cleaning the gutters (a thankless job) and was ready to go home. I wanted to stay but knew that DH needed some TLC after 4 hours on the roof. Three generations of husbands and fathers were represented. My two sweet little grandsons wanted to be counted as future fathers too. I took photos but have not downloaded them yet.  I hope to have them posted by Friday's Show & Tell.

Cross my fingers.

     It seems that I'm not posting as much as I used to and I have been thinking about why this is. The answer is that I am pretty busy with my parents and their affairs, even though they are in a nursing care facililty. Between the bakery, my parents, home life, daily bible study (which has become extremely important to me) my day gets pretty stretched out and I end up drawing a blank when it comes to posting the day's events on my blog. 

      I guess I'm taking a tiny sabbatical from blogging over the summer but will post whenever I can. I rely on Facebook more and more to communicate with family and friends and have tried Twitter but am not faithfully commited to it. So, I'll write more when I have time, and will continue to visit your blogs. You all are such great inspirations!      

     It seems that all I blog about are my "new" children: mom & dad. They are at a minimum my new part time job. I would rather think on them as my children though because I love them so much and they need the protection that can only come from a parent. This past Sunday morning at 3 am we got a phone call that dad had fallen and was being transported to the emergency room for evaluation. Nothing broken, PTL, and he couldn't even remember why he was there once DH and I arrived at the hospital. After xrays, blood work, and an MRI to check on his benign brain tumor, he was good to go back to his new "home."

     Mom was left behind and when we went to their room to get dad's clothes (we were bringing him back to save the outrageous ambulance charges) she fell into DH's arms and cried like a little baby. Our hearts leaped out of our chests as we hugged her together, and DH talked to her soothingly about how everything was going to be okay, that dad was coming home.  I stayed with her while DH went back to the hospital with dad's clothes, and we talked about what happened to make him fall except that she couldn't remember, couldn't paint a very good picture.  

     She was eating breakfast when DH and dad arrived in the Day Room at the nursing home. His food was saved for him so he didn't miss out on eating a good meal. We left them munching toast and scrambled eggs. I wanted to go to the 11:15 am service at church since I missed earlier services but when we finally got home to our chairs we both fell fast asleep, waking up at 2pm! These children sure take alot out of us parents, don't they?

     The title of this blog entry, "Free Falling" is how I now feel and it's meant in a good way. There was a song called "Free Falling" back in the day, but I can't tell you more than that, except I can hear it my head right now. I place my trust in God that each day will be done by His will not mine. I pray that everything I say during each day reveals Him living inside me too. It's all about God, not me, and this knowledge makes me feel so FREE. Each day I think, "Well, dear Lord what is in store for me? What will You have me do today, dear Lord?" It Frees my soul and mind. I love it!         

Mother

     Today is my mother's 87th birthday. We are having Long John Silvers, pineapple upside down cake, ice cream, & root beer for lunch. She is addicted to sweet tasting foods, with the exception of chocolate cake, but does love chocolate covered candies. She wanted to go out to eat at Long John Silvers for her birthday lunch, but we are not going away from the nursing home to celebrate her birthday today  because of her strong desire to see their old home.  She hasn't forgotten.  Maybe a year from now...on her 88th birthday... she will accept her new digs and then we can go see the old house, if it is still standing. I can only hope.

     I can see role reversal at work but I am not yet comfortable in my role as mother to both she and dad. How can anyone get used to being the parent to your parents? They want what is not good for them now that they are aged and fragile. I am their reluctant protector.  It was easier with my girls when  they were but babes crawling on the floor and toddling around the home exploring their new world. Now, my parents want to live a life that would kill them if left to their own means and I tell them "no, no don't  touch," in so many words. Life is truly a strange journey for folks with dementia and for those of us who care for them.            

     This photo of mom and Jenn was taken almost a year ago. Tomorrow the "Mom" will turn 87 year old! Unimaginable!  I never thought she would make it to 80 yrs. but here she is strolling into her '90's. Way to go, dear Mom! 

     I hope and pray that all of you sweet ladies had a wonderful day yesterday as our nation celebrated Mom's Day. I wonder if Mom's Day is celebrated all over the world or is this a "Hallmark card"  holiday?  We spent the afternoon at Jenn's home grilling (well, her DH grilled) and enjoying a very relaxing time with extended family. Jenn had baked beans, mac n'chese, hot dogs and hamburgers, and of course since I don't eat read meat, chicken strips. Greg, her DH's brother brought us an awesome strawberry cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. Yum!

     And, now to the "loot!" I received coupons for kisses, etc. from my grandchildren and an electric tea kettle from Jenn and her DH. I have always wanted one but my very old tea kettle would not die and I am not one to run out and just buy something new if the old one still works. I must confess that I actually asked for this at Easter. Thank you both so much for it and I intend to get many years, Lord willing, of joy from it.  

    I couldn't be with my mom yesterday, but we did celebrate Mom's Day with her on Saturday. I didn't feel right about them not being with us yesteday, as it felt so strange not to have her and dad with us this past Easter too. I miss them. We are trying to get used to the "new" normal but it is so hard. I feel that my dad is so unhappy where they are now and I have to pray fervantly for an answer that will help the situation. I know that once they are approved for Medicaid we can look for a better new home for them.  

     Here is a photo of DH and me taken in a restaurant in Delray Beach, FL.  His Graded School reunion was held over three days. People from all over the US came, some are still living in San Paolo, Brazil and one lives in Hawaii. The Brazillan contengency brought back the sad news that "you can't go home again,"  as what the classmates remembered in the 60's , that of lots of country side and long bus rides to their school, has changed. San Paolo is the third largest city in the world! It is close in size to our NYC. Before this reunion, DH wanted to go back for a visit but now he is just fine with reminiscing about the good ole days with his school chums. He has no plans to attend his high school reunions here in Indy, but promises to be a social sweetheart when my 45th and 50th high school reunions come around. I did meet a lot of very nice spouses so this trip was a win- win for me personally. 

     I hope you all have enjoyed my S&T today. Please go to Mary 's blog and check out more S&T posts, as they are all so wonderful and worthy of your read.  I pray that your weekend ahead is blessed with God's divine mercies. He is so faithful.   

     I have so much to be joyful about. Listening to sweet early morning songs from the birds outside our windows is such a delight. I miss this symphony in the winter months. The miracle of walking again without pain just awaits our Lord and Savior's blessing. New hope comes from the medicated gel that I apply to my feet and knees twice a day. I call this gel my "Hope in a Jar." I have used it for almost 60 days and I am thankful that I can now wear light weight socks without applying the 100% pure shea butter. Miracle of miracles! I cannot walk for a long time though in socks, in the sun, or on hot days outside. Baby steps.

     A local owner of an apothecary shop is taking interest in my plight. He thinks that he can tweek my "Hope in a Jar" formula by doubling the pain meds. in it, and ultimately  increase my mobility. We had an one hour phone interview yesterday and he learned alot about Erythromelalgia, a disease he had never heard of before meeting me. He even went to the Erythromelalgia web site (TEA) and read about its symptoms. Just listening to him describe the different actions he could take to help me bouyed my spirits. He is making a small amount of the new 'Hope in a Jar" for me to try and if it doesn't give me relief then he can try some other topical medication. I am puttting on hold my pain management course of action until he has exhausted his resources.

     I told him that knee pain was of primary concern as I cannot wear normal clothes like dresses, skirts, and pants.  God granting this man the means to create a gel that will take away the pain in my knees will be one BIG MIRACLE. I know that HE so is up to it, just do not know if it is time yet. It's not my time that is important and I am patient in my waiting. It's been two years since I have worn linen, rayon, or silk clothing and the sandals on my feet are wearing thin, but I know that God is in control not me. I am praying fervantly that the new gel will be a benefit and not harm me. There is always the possibility that  it is too strong a formula, but I am not dwelling on the negatives. Dear Heavenly Father please bless the new "Hope in a Jar" formula from the local apothecary. Please give the new gel power to numb the nerve pain in my knees and also in my feet if that isn't asking too much.            

DH (on left) with his grade school classmates in Delray, FL 

Notice that he is the only one not holding a "drink'!

     We came home from Delray Beach, FL last evening to a flooded basement. Poor Jenn and her DH had to give us the bad news on Sunday. We had eighteen inches of water! The cat's litter boxes were floating around like lily pads in a pond. DH had to wade through icey waters to see what was amiss. The subpump was doing its job but debris got in the way and stopped up the works. The good news is that our furnace started even though it was flooded. The bad news is that we have to buy a new hot water heater and the cats killed our large floor plant by using it as a substitute litter box. They were pretty smart to seek it out instead of the carpet.

     Delray Beach, FL is a nice vacation spot in that it has lots of restaurants, shopping (if you are in the mood for beach wear), and a huge spanse of beach in which to play. DH enjoyed his fellow grade school classmates although they were "into the drink" and he wasn't, which set him apart. I met friendly spouses and almost lost my voice Friday night from talking so much. I had to talk loudly because the party was pretty noisy as the evening wore on. We met at a Brazillian restaurant Saturday night and once again the liquor flowed. I am not judging anyone, but for me it was hard to carry on a conversation with inebriated people. Sunday night we stayed in our hotel room and ate pizza and watched a movie. So nice, so relaxing after a busy weekend.

     DH's best friend challenged him to exercise with him every morning at 5:30.am (this after a night of drinking)! DH did his best. They walked 3 miles then his friend went jogging while DH stretched out his muscles. Then, they both jumped into the ocean and fooled around which helped them cool off. I think that this was a special time for DH. Most of his classmates spent their day time together on the beach. Since I cannot do this, DH and I drove to Palm Beach, FL for lunch and look at the mansions on Ocean Blvd. Wow! Some people are not feeling the recession pain as much as others.

     Has it really been a week since I last posted? I need someone to post for me! Ha! I do have a good excuse though as my new parttime job is keeping me hopping. My new parttime job is working for my parents, sort of a behind the scenes employee as they do not have a clue as to what I am doing on their behalf. This past weekend grandchildren met DH and I at their home to take away items and bag up trash. This was a monumental task. The garage floor alone took our nephew most of the day to clean up. He was a happy camper though because he was able to take away most all of dad's machinery.

     We ran into a potential problem when we worked in dad's bedroom: black mold covers the bottom half of two of the walls. I grew up with it so was not too concerned but maybe this explains why both of them are prone to upper respiratory troubles. When I was living there we took hot bleach water and scrubbed these walls but the mold kept growing back. DH says that this because of a roof leak that was never repaired. Makes sense. Anyway, now I'm concerned as to how much it will cost to repair the walls and make the house saleable. My sister wants to make a homemade sign that reads, " FOR SALE AS IS" and plant it in the front yard (no lawyer, no real estate agent).  I want to donate it to the local fire dept...

     This weekend DH and I are flying to Delray Beach, FL for his grade school reunion. The reason why we are going to it instead any of his future high school reunions is because he remembers having good times in the 6th, 7th, and 8th grades with kids when he lived in San Paolo, Brazil back in the '60s. He said that when he moved back to the states, due to his parents divorcing, he did not fit in with the new school's crowd, felt lost. So, he is going to get re-acquainted with the "brat pack" he ran the streets of San Paolo with as a child, while I snap lots of photos for my blog. Maybe, if my new parttime job allows it, I will be posting a little more often and actually have something interesting for Canada girl's Friday show & tell next Friday! One can always dream, right?.        

 Gracie ready for Easter Egg hunt!     I really have not had that much to talk about lately except that I am keeping busy with bakery work along with helping mom and dad. However, my wonderful 1999 Toyota 4-Runner, with almost 100,000 miles to its credit, has developed an attitude. It has been my faithful chariot for ten years and I have not taken care of it except for oil changes, new tires, and new  brakes. But things change. On Monday, it needed a new starter system to the tune of $450.00 and today it's "check engine" light is on. Back to the Toyota dealership this afternoon. I do so pray that this trip doesn't cost us a small fortune.

     On Saturday we are dejunking my mom and dad's home. The grandchildren are taking what they want and then we all are bagging up trash. I don't know where to start. That's not altogether true as I have made a list. Their home is so full of stuff, most of which is considered junk although I am sure they think of this stuff as treasured memories. And, dad's garage looks like a small retro macine shop. While living with them, I never paid attention to what was inside the garage as this was dad's domain so now am suprised to find industrial machines on benches that he made. How did he get them in there? And when? Anyway, Saturday will be an interesting day. I'm not sure what to think about it yet.

     This past Sunday Gracie spent the night with us and we saw the movie "Hana Montana" together.  It is a cute. I was not sure about her watching a movie about a 16 yr. old rock star but it was mommy approved and has a G rating. When we got home from the movie, grandaddy made cheeseburgers and I made fruit smoothies. We then played paper dolls until 10 pm when granddaddy said "lights out." Then, we read in bed from her "Laura Ingalls" library book. The time with her went so fast but I enjoyed it immensely.  Next month is TBear's sleepover...looking forward to it too.

     Every day is an adventure, right? I get so caught up in the adventure that I do not find time to post the happenings around me. Well, I'm getting ready to visit the Toyota dealership to see why the "check engine" light is on. I really cannot buy a new or even used car right now so I pray that this is fixable and not too costly.   UPDATE: Back from dealership and $168.00 less in my pocket...the problem was a faulty "Check Engine" sensor. Ugh!  I guess it could have been worse.    

     We gathered together this past Easter Sunday to enjoy some great family time. Jenn served us wonderful beverages along with the strawberry cheesecake we bought from a local deli. The kids wanted an Easter egg hunt, so we hid them in the front yard, as a neighbor has three precocious dogs who like to play in the backyard with the children. A little toddler from next door joined in the hunt and his daddy kept carrying him back to their yard. This neighborhood is very family friendly!

     We celebrated Dad's 89th Birthday this past Wednesday. He was sick with bronchitis and I really felt sorry for him. I had just visited on Monday and he was the picture of health. It's hard to imagine how an elderly's health can rapidly change. I am so thankful that we were there because I got the nurse involved and now he is on an anitbiotic. They need family attention now more than ever. I am so very thankful that my sister and my daughter come to visit. Grace colors pictures and then passes them out to the elders that congregate in the Day Room. She is so sweet to think of them.

     I am really ready for the weekend. Today, I have an appointment with my doc so that drugs can knock my UTI out before it gets out of hand.  It started to bother me this past Sunday but I ignored it as it was and is just a tiny bit of pain compared to EM . But, I don't want a kidney infection so I am being diligent and taking care of myself. DH is feeling so much better since he has been able to rest this week, but  our sales at the bakery cannot make up for the debt we incurred this winter and he came back to suppliers crying for money. The coffers were drained fast. He has broad shoulders but I so wish that he would give some this burden to the Lord.    I am still praying for his soul.

     I am so thankful to our Lord for His Grace and mercies today and always.  It overwhelms me when I think on it. Psalm 100 is deep in my soul as I write this:

"Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. Serve the Lord with gladness; come before his presence with singing. Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations. " Amen     

Happy 89th Birthday to my dad!

     My dad turns 89 tomorrow. This has been a really hard year for him and my mom. I thought for sure that we would lose him im February, but he is getting better and stronger every day at the nursing home.  We are celebrating his birth with 3 pies made by my sister and cupcakes made by my daughter, jenn4him. I'm bringing drinks.

     It is such a bittersweet, surreal time for me right now. Mom and dad are thinking that since he is feeling better they can go home. Mom believes that the only reason they are at the nursing home is because dad needs to be well enough to go home. Neither one remembers the "talk" about how they could not take care of themselves. 

    Anyway, tomorrow is his day and I can only pray that we are able to make it a good one for him to enjoy. I almost wish that the weather would cooperate with rain or snow (yuck) as a sunny warm day will make them both want to break out. We will eat pie and cupcakes and love each other as only a loving family can in the confines of their room, and dodge the Big Elephant that is dancing around us (the "going home" question).