Twenty years ago today...our angel left us and went to Heaven to be with our Lord. She was only 17 1/2 years old, and wanted so much to stay here on earth with us, but her heart gave out and she did not have enough energy to continue the fight for life. Born with a rare congenital heart disease, but treated like a normal child as much as possible, she grew up to become a very sweet young lady who knew her limitations so much better than her mother, who tended to live in a fog of denial. "If only" thoughts kick in when I think about the mistakes I made during her childhoood.  Dear God, I miss her so much.

     Even though twenty years have passed since I gazed upon Becca's lovely face, why does my heart ache like her death happened yesterday?  Why haven't the years dulled the pain? She would be thirty eight years old this coming September. I have asked, "Why God?" for years upon years without a clear answer. Only He knows.  I don't cry that much anymore.  The tradegy of her death has dulled my senses to the "crisis de jours" that tend to crop up. What more can happen?  I know that my loved ones will die. After Becca, I know that fact with a clarity that many people won't grasp until they face death, and death wins.