Aug. 14, 2006 - So much has happened...
Wow its been a long time since i've blogged!!!!!
First and foremost, our little Leif was born July 29th. I promise i'll blog about that more later, but i've got so much on my mind i thought i'd unload here!
My Father in law just left this morning. He'd been up since last saturday to visit, planning it to coincide roughly with Leif's birth. He stayed with us and we have had a whirlwind week, crazy but fun. Being 1-2 weeks postpartum i probably shouldn't have been running around so much but honestly, being out and about really helps me immensely ward off the postpartum depression which i get every time, BAD, each worse than the next. I've been doing REALLY well this week but as real life approaches, dh going back to work wednesday, i'm getting nervous. I'm planning to take ST. johns wort and regularily exercise and TRY to eat well, which is not exactly easy with a newborn and 4 other little ones to take care of...
Anyway... Danny, my FIL, left this morning and i was so sad :-( it was a really great visit. Honestly, family has started to feel like a pain in the butt to me... not my immediate family of course, but the extended family. It seems like just one blow after another... insults, criticism... etc. My dad tries but he's just not in a place where he can be the kind of grandpa i want for my kids, just too much of his own life interferes with that... he REALLY tries though. and Andy's mom... sigh... she doesn't like me. She also doesn't visit, so we have minimal conflict, but its not exactly the best relationship we have either.... but danny is about the perfect grandpa ever... he tags along with us, but doesn't mind if we stay home, he really ENJOYS the kids and as a result they have all developed a close relationship with him, this time, even more than the last two times, which were also good. Well, anna to a lesser degree... she's having a REALLY hard time with Leif, she just has to work through her little 2 yo issues, LOL, but chloe was so upset she cried when grandpa left... me too... for the absolute FIRST time i started to think about the possibility of moving closer.... before the can o' worms aspect completely overruled the other parts, but lets face it, we aren't getting any younger and neither are our parents.. They'll probably be needing us eventually, and that's really hard to manage from a distance. I must say the Lord has a way of working on me and my attitude on different issues adn i think this week its clearly the extended family issue... i've been awfully hard hearted on the family issue and really, for good reason. I've been really badly hurt by family, and its hard to just go back for more, you know? I kind of see us as starting a whole new family a HEALTHY family free from sexual and physical and emotional abuse, and built on a foundation of Christ centered ness, all of which is totally new to us. But we DON'T live in a vaccum, and while it breaks our hearts that some of our family doensn't know God in any way, and some minimally, it is excting to see that some of them DO! and exciting to see Him drawing us closer becaues indeed, God is a God of reconciliation, and that's a powerful thing. Its been a wrenching day, and its not even noon yet. it is however time for some MAJOR Housework, so i should run, more about my sweetie later!!!!! :-)
