Sep. 2, 2006 - bad day
dh is working another saturday... this one voluntarily... trying to dig out of the "just had a baby" financial pit. he promised it would be a short day. It's not! So here i am, trying to pick up the slack again... house is a disaster... kids are unruly and wanting to go places and do things that we just plain can't afford... dh's mood level is beyond foul... last sunday i was awakened from a nap i was taking... which was only because i was on my second bout of mastitis that i've had in the 4 weeks (as of last weekend, he's 5 weeks now) that Leif has been on the outside, and i was resting in hopes of fighting it off well enough to not have to get antibiotics (and pay for a co-pay, and have dh miss a day of work....) well, i was awakened from my nap to hear dh completely flipping out at nik, who is 7 because he was playing with the hose, dropped it and it started shooting in the front door. ok, so bye bye rest... had a long talk about it, dh agreed to calm down a bit.. but his mood level still sucks. and today i've reached that point... that point where i can't just keep covering everything... trying to be nice to the kids because i know dh won't be... trying to keep everything under control, keep the ants out of the kitchen and the moths out of the pantry.... (yes my house is a mess but its NOT as gross as it sounds form that last statement, REALLY its just been a rough couple of weeks in regard to insects!) i am completely and totally burned out and i have absolutely no one to turn to. all my friends either have a bazillion kids, live too far away etc. adn for the first time, Andy is unavailable too. i keep making alex my oldest cry, he's really sensitive... but i just need space... i'm sitting here at the computer listening to praise music, trying to find some peace and its just not happening... i feel so totally abandoned... i am NEVER having a child again. This totally sucks, my life is falling apart and i'm totally alone.
Comments
Sep. 12, 2006 - Oh, Rebecca!
Posted by Dawnofmotherhood
Rebecca, honey, I am so sorry. I so wish I lived near you - I would come and do something, anything. I so remember those feelings. Are you feeling better now? Kristan said she was going to see you.
Know that you are being prayed for.
Your Friend,
Heather
Sep. 23, 2006 - I know this was several weeks ago, but
Posted by jewls2texas
does it help to know that every one of us here - as homeschool moms knows what your day was like? I think that sometimes we try so hard to put our best face on in front of others that we can often give the misleading impression that everybody has lives that are altogether. We don't! I have had many days like the one you are describing - in different ways - tweaked to be personalized to my family.
Don't think you're alone.
I will be praying for you.
