Keeping Our Children's Hearts
by
Steven & Teri Maxwell

Who has your child/ren's heart/s? Is it you, the parent? Or it is the world? His friend? His teacher? Why is it important anyway?! Steven & Teri Maxwell of Titus2  ministry ask these pertinent questions in their book.

The person/s who hold your child/ren's heart/s is the one with the most influence over him. If we want to direct our children to Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith (Heb 12:2),  we can only do that if we have our child/ren's heart/s. The Maxwells' premise is that we should keep our children under our shelter and protection till they are mature and wise to make their own decisions. But to do that we need to have our children's hearts.

Three things I took away from reading this book :

1. We the parent first need to turn our own hearts towards our children. If we are not focused on the children, then, how can we expect our children to turn their hearts over to us for keeping?

These often are things we do not consciously think about. We would think - Oh! I am a SAHM, of course my heart is turned towards my children. Is it really?

2. We need to ask : what sort of appetites are we feeding/encouraging our children towards? Are we feeding their appetite for entertainment? Or for serving others? Are we feeding their appetite for contentment? Or for satisfying their flesh?

Sometimes we think that entertaining our children is how we can keep peace in the home. Instead, we are feeding their fleshy appetite to be kept entertained instead of looking for opportunities to serve.

3. Sheltering our children do not make them into robots!
Sheltering has a bad rep!  It makes people think that our children will be social misfits and weak if we do not expose them to the world as early as possible! But the Maxwells put up a good case on why we should shelter. The key to me is that we don't just shelter, we need to guide and equip too!

Just a warning:  while doing all these things are great, one must never assume that just because you do these things, your children will turn out perfect. There is no secret formula in churning out perfect children simply because there are no perfect children! 

But! But - we do have the grace of God that covers all our imperfections and failures if we would only trust in Him! His grace indeed is sufficent!

To balance all this, go read Tim Kimmel's Grace-based Parenting.  

Keeping Our Children's Hearts ($20.40)
is available at
Building Up Moms Resource Corner

If
by
Amy Carmichael

Looking for a devotional and yet have no time to sit for 10 minutes, much less 1 hr?  I have found a little devotional book that is helpful. Helpful and convicting! Written by well loved and known missionary to India, Amy Carmichael, she uses the passage in 1 Corinthians 13 to challange us. Do we really know the full and true meaning of LOVE?

Titled "If", she writes,

►"if I covet any place on earth but the dust at the foot of the cross, then I know not of Calvary Love",

►if a sudden jar can cause me to speak an impatient, unloving word, then I know nothing of Calvary Love" (for a cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted)

- oh how convicting! Especially in view of how we treat out little ones at home! Don't just rush through reading it but read each portion and meditate upon it!

Buy it for yourself and for your loved ones. Let us strive to really know Calvary Love!

If by Amy Carmichael
can be found at
Building Up Moms Resource Corner
for only $8.00.

Breastfeeding and Natural Spacing
How Natural Mothering Spaces Babies
by Sheila Kippley

I had heard of this book many years before but had only recently borrowed it from our National Library to check it out. It was an interesting read, to say the least!

I would say that it would very much appeal to Attachment Parenting proponents.  While there were many things I agreed with, with regard to her comments about breastfeeding and natural mothering, I cannot help but disagree with her on several other points.

Her premise is that if one would breastfeed completely and in accordance with her researched methods, one could safely hold off an "unplanned" pregnancy. I find this hard to take as I believe that whether we conceive or not, is really in God's hand. To think that we can control it is somewhat presumptuous and aren't we again, writing God out of the picture???

According to Ms Kippley, in order for one to be successful in holding off a pregnancy, one should under Phase I of the nursing relationship,

1. use the breast for total nourishment (agree!) and pacification (disagree!).
2. nurse frequently (hmm...what is frequently mean?!)
3. sleep with the baby (that is if both husband & wife agree)
4. not have any schedule (hmmm....what if baby is the one who "sets" the schedule?)
5. not use any bottles, pacifiers and cups
6. not have any practice thst restricts nursing or separation of mother and baby (agree!) and
7. totally breastfeed in the early months (agree!)

Under Phase II, she recommends that even with the introduction of solids, one should use the breast for pacification, sleep with the baby and encourage night feeds. Apparently, night feedings were key to delaying fertility. (I must add here that my 5th child nursed 3x/night when we conceived our 6th blessing! She was also actively nursing 5 - 6x/day.)

I do not agree with her suggestion of both using the breast as a pacifier and encouraging night feedings to continue especially when the child is able to sleep through the night. As I wrote under Nursing - Weaning : "mama is the comfort source not 'milk milk'". I have noticed that those who often offer nursing as the main source of comfort are the ones who often find it most difficult to wean. And then these mothers come up with funny and strange ways to wean the child when they were the ones who had encouraged the child to turn to nursing as the main source of comfort. I don' t think that is fair to the child.

If one can take the constant nght wakings and actually encourage it in order to delay the return of fertility - hats off to you! For I certainly need at least 4 hrs on uninterrupted sleep to function properly in the daytime! Co-sleeping does not work for me. I often end up with a backache - regardless of the number of pillows/cushions I use. And no matter how tired I am, I am one of those who can FEEL the baby nursing the whole time! That does not make for a pleasant nor fitful sleep for me at all! And when I don't have enough sleep......................

But besides disagreeing with her the whole issue of deliberately using breastfeeding to manipulate the return of fertility, I agree with her philosophy of natural mothering. She is all for non-separation of mother and baby. And so am I. I bring the baby with me whereever I go!

Recently, I read of one mother who wanted to leave her still nursing, 14mth old child so that she could go for a 3 day out-of-country shopping trip with her  gal pals! My eyes nearly popped out!

If she had said she needed to go for an operation or an important business trip (but what could be more important than your baby's needs?!), I could have had kinder thoughts.  But to leave your child behind to go shopping?! Amazing! Shocking! I am sure Ms Kippley would have rolled her eyes!

All in all, it was a good read, if you would keep in mind that it is God who opens and closes our wombs whether one breastfeeds ecologically or not .

Do remember to check out our
website at www.BuildingUpMoms.com
for new articles posted on 9th March 2007
Nursing : No Milk Bottles?! & Weaning
and our
Resource Corner!