Almost everytime I hear this from new moms - I express my milk to let dh feed the baby so that he can bond with the baby.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You do not need to feed the baby to bond with the baby! Yes, you read that correctly. Your dh or mother or sister or cousin....can bond with the baby some other way. Nursing your baby should be your job. Especially in the early days when the baby and your body are getting acquainted with each other.

Don't complicate matters by expressing your milk just so that someone else can bond with the baby. There are legitimate reasons to express milk in the early days but definitely letting dad bond with the baby is not one of them in my books!

Dad can bathe the baby, change the baby, burp the baby or rock the baby to sleep. And these are great things for dads to be doing so that all mom needs to think of is nurse the baby and rest!

Leave the baby and the mom alone to nurse and enjoy each other. Not everything has to be done equally by both parents, ok?

I get very worked up when I hear that a new mom has to go through the hassle of sterilising and expressing her milk (and getting distressed at the same time coz pumping in the early days yield little milk) just so that dad/grandma can bond with the baby. Get creative lah!

And that is my very opinionated view!

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Straits Times supplement, Mind Your Body, reported that,

"In Singapore, less than 1% of six-month old babies are breastfed exclusively." Breastfeeding is best feeding, Shefali Srinivas, 9th April 2008.

It further reports that, "The National Breastfeeding Survey done in 2001 showeed that 95% of Singaporean mothers attempt to breastfeed their babies...(but)... exclusive breastfeeding is not a common practice in Singapore."

I am not here to gloat over those who may have tried and failed in breastfeeding. Since I know that ironically while breastfeeding is a natural act, yet it is something that does not come naturally. It does not help that we have lost a generation, or two, to formula milk and so many of us do not have many breastfeeding knowledgeable women to turn to for help and support.

But it is sad that the common reasons given for not breastfeeding exclusively or for stopping breastfeeding are "insufficeint milk, sore nipples, engorgement, returning to work and the baby preferring formula milk."

It definitely does not need to be so, as Sister Kang Phaik Gaik, lactation consultant at Mount Alvernia Hospital says. The problem is that many women give up without seeking proper help. 

Proper help means seeking either professionally trained lactation consultants like Sister Kang or Doris Fok (handphone : 9638 7660) or Cynthia Pang at KKH or women who have breastfed successfully.

If you do seek advise from friends, do make sure they themselves have succeeded in breastfeeding. It is amazing the amount of advice women who have never breastfed or have failed in breastfeeding have to offer!

Personally, by the grace of God, I have managed to nurse all our 6 babies. All nursed exclusively (no water or solids) till they were at least 6 months old, with most preferring not to eat any solids till they were 8 to 12 months old. They were all very different and so lovely experiences that I am glad to be a part of.

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Yep, this latest baby of ours is not only a vigorous thumb sucker but actually prefers her thumb than the br*ast!

With the previous babies, I'd always made it a point not to nurse them to sleep, preferring that they seek out their own self-soothing techniques to go to sleep. And they usually do with no major challenges. But of course, they would happily nurse to sleep if I gave them a chance!

But not this baby!  In fact, she screams when I try to nurse her to sleep. She much prefers her thumb! And I have to walk & rock on top of that. Sigh....These are the times I actually wish I could just sit/lie and nurse her to sleep.

Interesting how each baby is different, eh? My 1st child was a thumb sucker too but he would gladly nurse to sleep when given a chance. The next 4 children did not show the slightest interest in their fingers or thumb. I was soooo pleased. Hey! Weaning them off their thumb is not my cup of tea! And then there's the alignment of the teeth to deal with to!

So when this baby started being able to find her thumb at around 6weeks, I was not pleased! I would take her thumb out and offer the breast but nope! She just didn't want to nurse. She was not hungry and would scream in anger when the letdown sent milk into her mouth! She certainly knows what she wants and doesn't want!

Just this morning, I offered her the br*ast in the hopes of getting another 15minutes of sleep. But she frowned at me, pursed her lips together first and then stuck out her tongue to push the n*pple out. Then she put her thumb in!

Argh!

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Blessing #6 is your typical koala-baby who likes to snack at the breast and catnaps while doing so! Sigh. #3 was similar. But back then, I had only 2 other children to mind and was 5 years younger!  Now with 5 other children to watch over, it is more of a challenge. But like many things, this is a season that will pass - I pray! Lol!

I made an observation yesterday to my dad that if she had been #1 and I was ignorant of breastfeeding, I would quickly have concluded that my milk supply was low or worse, non-existent! Why did I say that?

As a newborn, she started out nursing every hour and even now nurses at an interval of 1.5 to 2hrs. Normal for a breastfed baby but not for a formula-fed one. Most people who find out that she is nursing so much often raise their eyebrows.  

Yesterday she finished nursing at 5:45pm and while I was eating my dinner at 6pm, proceeded to cry and cry. Since my dad was around he carried her thinking she would just go to sleep. Instead, she just cried & cried till I took over and nursed her. She promptly fell asleep nursing at the breast at 6:30pm! Now, **I** know she isn't hungry but wanted the comfort of nursing to go to sleep.

But someone who didn't know any better would most likely conclude that it was insufficient milk production that is the reason for all that crying. Hence the need to nurse in less than an hour's interval.

It is tiring but I do not even think of switching her to a bottle of formula in the hopes of "holding her off" longer or "making her" sleep through the night. In the first place it may not work  but mostly I don't because I believe in exclusively nursing for at least the first 6months of the baby's life - no supplement! And since I am a SAHM, I have no excuse not to do so.

Besides, lazy me can't imagine going through the hassle of washing, and sterilising milk bottles! And if I offer expressed breastmilk (EBM), then there's the additional hassle of washing and sterilising the breastpump, not to mention the discomfort (no matter how slight) of pumping out the milk!

Right now, all I have to do is to pop it in and fresh milk at the correct temperature is served! And there's no wastage!

I love breastfeeding all my babies, no matter how inconvenient it appears to be! It is one of the best things I can give to them even if it means that I may have to abstain certain foods & drinks for their sake. I do miss my morning cuppa though!  But I do consider it a privilege to be able to nurse them as and when they need to. Let's hope they think so too!

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So, why is it often so difficult for so many women? Here are some things I feel can help breastfeeding(bf) go more smoothly and successfully.

A lot of times whether bf turns out successful or not depends on the mother’s personality. I shall be frank here – if the mum is weak, then bf will most likely fail when she faces even minor obstacles. But if mum is strong willed and determined to press on regardless of the obstacles she faces, then bf will be successful. I have heard too many stories of women who give up bf which often makes me sad and sometimes, angry! But I also hear stories of mums who press on despite the pain and discomfort. These women I salute! It is indeed to tough to press on when people all around are pushing you to wean the baby.

Whether mum believes strongly that breastmilk (bm) is best for the child or not is another determining factor. Bm is God’s best for our babies. It is a perfect food, suited for our babies growth at every stage of his life. Do you know that our bm changes at every stage of our babies’ lives? Milk for a newborn or even a premature baby is different in composition from milk for a 6mth old or a 20 mth old baby! No need for follow-on milk that the milk companies so aggressively push upon us. No need to worry if baby is having a balanced diet!

If you believe that bm is the best for baby, you will press on! Does this mean that a bf baby never falls ill? Is always chubby and smart? J Let me challenge you to think of it this way – we start with the premise that bm is the best. So if baby is still falling sick even on bm, think of what will happen if he is put on an inferior product? He’ll be even more sick. I am not exaggerating. Mums with formula fed babies and bf babies always say the same thing – the bf baby falls sick less often and recovers faster.

And one more thing – sometimes, demand feeding hinders successful bf. I know I am going to step on many toes here. But I do not see the logic of demand feeding when it wears the mum down and leads to her giving up bf. If it works/worked for you, great! But many mums have told me that they gave up coz they couldn’t take it anymore. Now which is worse? To put baby on a routine or to give up bf?

Demand feeding led to my 1^st born ending up in the hospital with very high jaundice. Why? Demand feeding here refers to feeding the baby only when he cries or show signs for milk. Because he was jaundiced, he slept A LOT! And he only fed every 3 – 4 hrs. What bliss! Or so I thought. I later read up more and discovered that in the early days, baby needs lots of good nursing sessions to clear out the bilirubin in the system! Thereafter, I never let any of my babies demand feed. I always nursed them every 2 – 2.5hrs in the daytime. For nights, I let them go as long or as short as they wished J

Please note that being on a routine/schedule does not mean putting the baby on a 4hr or even a 3hr schedule. I have always kept to the 2hr schedule till they were 3 – 4 mths old or until they themselves were able to stretch the feeding intervals longer.

A baby who feeds at a shorter interval than that tends to be snacking. They snack for 2 min & promptly fall asleep. Mum thinks she has not enough milk coz baby is up again the next hour and the next and the next….But if you hold baby out to 2hrs (from start to start) then the baby will nurse better and more, leading to a more contented baby and a well rested mum.

These are of course, only my observations over the years that I have bf. Bf is natural but it is not easy. But persist and you will reap the rewards of a happier, healthier child and you. But most of all, it is a beautiful relationship that only you can experience when you bf your child. It’s beautiful!

But this child was determined to nurse 7 - 8 times a day! When she turned 1, I got pregnant with #5! She was happily eating very little solids (as with the rest) & nursing like there was no tomorrow. But I don't do nursing while pregnant well. I will feel extremely nauseous every time I nursed them & I would be extremely senstive. So much so that I would be clenching my fists everytime they nursed. It would get progressively worse as the pregnany went on. I think it was because as the milk supply dropped, the nursling would suckle harder to get the milk out. And that harder suckling hurts!!!

When I hit 2nd trimester with #5, #4 showed no signs of letting up! I was so stressed that I broke down many times at the end of the day crying out to God. I felt bad turning her down & yet, it was so uncomfortable that I really disliked nursing her. I remember 1 nite when I was alone (dh had ministry work) I broke down & cried out to the Lord that I really couldn't do this anymore.

The next day, my 7 - 8 time nursing toddler didn't ask to nurse the whole day till bedtime! Halleluah! So from that day on, she would just nurse once in the morning & once at nite. I managed to get her to drop the morning session but continued with the before bed nursing. But again, as the pregnancy progressed, even that 1 time session was getting awfully uncomfortable. I tried to ask her to not nurse but she wouldn't agree :( So I prayed to the Lord. The next night, she went to bed without asking to nurse! The next nite, she cried a bit when I told her "no" when she asked but after that nite, she was totally weaned! She was 16mths.

What about #5? Well, she's 18mths & still nursing 7 - 8 times a day & night! How am I going to wean her? I have no idea! :) We'll cross that bridge when we get there!

A side benefit of nursing so often is that my milk came in really early. I had my milk come in only at the end of Day 5 with baby #1. But with baby #2, my milk came in on Day 3! I remember that with baby #3, my milk came in even earlier at Day 2!

Baby #2 was what I called an efficient nurser. She would nurse 5 minutes on each side & was done! It was amazing compared to #1 who would spend 30min or more nursing if I let him. She was also more "vocal" in wanting to nurse when she got older. With #1, he never asked for milk but with #2, she would crawl over to me & lift up my shirt if she wanted a drink.

She nursed till she was 14mths - when I was 4mths pregnant with #3. By then, my supply had dropped & she was nursing just 2 - 3times a day. She decided that she didn't want her "milk milk" anymore when I yelled out loud as she sank her teeth into me one fine day. Actually I was relieved that she had weaned herself coz it was getting very uncomfortable nursing her. But I felt bad for the way it ended so I offered it to her the next day. She smiled & walked away!

#3 was a small eater. He would nurse just 5 minutesone side & was done! No matter what I did, he would not be interested in the other side. But he would nurse very often. I couldnt stretch him to a 3hr schedule for the longest time! I then found out I was pregnant with #4 when he was just 6mths old. I panicked a bit coz I had always wanted to nurse for at least 1yr before weaning them off. And I had prayed to God about it before. God was so gracious. Although I had very little milk left, Aaron continued to nurse till he was 1 yr old. He weaned 2 days after he turned 1 - without any prompting from me. By then, I was already 6mths pregnant.

....to be continued

#1 ended up with extremely high jaundice! He had to be hospitalised for 2 days & I was a mess! I was in shock - from having to nurse & care for him singlehandedly for the 1st 5 days of his life to suddenly being forced to leave him behind in the hospital all alone! And he had to sleep in a plastic bassinet without any clothes on! Just his diapers & a blindfold to protect his eyes from the UV lights.

Oh how I cried & cried! And to top it off, I had to stop nursing him for at least 1 day. In order to keep up my milk supply, I had to diligently pump every 3hrs, even through the night. The doctor was most kind though. He instructed the nurse to feed the baby with a cup spoon & not with the teat to prevent any possibility of nipple confusion. And I thank God that the baby returned to the breast with no hesitation.

I later found out that the best way to prevent such a high onset of jaundice was to nurse the baby at every 2hrs & not only when the baby cried for milk! A newborn baby is extremely sleepy, especially if the mother has had medication during labour. To wait for the baby to cry for milk was just not a wise decision at all!

Also, there was a vicious cycle being set in place - sleepy babies nurse less often. Less intake of breastmilk causes the bilirubin to buildup. With the build up, baby gets more jaundiced. The more jaundiced a baby, the sleepier the baby gets............

So for the next 4 babies, I made sure I woke the baby up every 2hrs during the day & nursed them. I didn't have to put any of them through the trauma of being hospitalised again! Yes, they all still had jaundice but never high enough to warrant a hospital stay or any other treatment.

As an aside, jaundice is very common in Asian babies. And I have been told that while breastfeeding seemed to increase the likelhood of jaundice, we are seeing it through a wrong mindset :) Meaning - since breastfeeding is God's way of feeding babies & breastfed babies tend to develop jaundice, then maybe jaundice is normal. But because so many babies are put on formula from birth & formula fed babies tend to have lower or no jaundice, doctors often panic when they see jaundice in breastfed babies & tend to be very aggressive in "treating" it.

After the jaundice drama :) we went on to have more drama with #1! I have often said that if I weren't that determined to breastfeed, I would have given up. :) This baby loved to suckle but didn't want the milk that comes with nursing at the breast! So he would happily latch on & nurse & then as soon as the letdown occured, he would scream blue murder! :( At 1st, I couldn' t figure out why he was crying when I had this copious amount of milk spurting out. Then I realised what his issue was. Out of desperation, I offered him the pacifer! He took it for 1 night & then the next night, he spat it out & would wail till I nursed him & then wail again as the milk flowed. It didn't help that I had an overactive letdown (OAL). It was a nightmare.

I remember crying - from sleep deprivation & from being helpless. Dh was sweet, he never even offered the option of putting him on formula. All he said was - why not express & cup feed him so that you can get some rest. Well, we tried & that failed too!

So in desperation, I would pray at every feeding. Prayed that he would be able to cope with the OAL, pray that he would be able to go to sleep after each nursing session, pray that my body will quickly adjust to his needs & so on.

And God came to the rescue - of course! Both mother & child adjusted to each other & we continued to breastfeed till he turned 1yr old. We switched however to a more scheduled feeding pattern than a demand feeding pattern at about 3months. To have discovered it was heaven sent! I no longer had to guess why he was crying & whether he needed to be fed or not. Being a 1st time mother, the schedule brought sanity into my life!

I weaned him at about 13mths. At that point in time, I didn't know anyone who had nursed successfully & I thought that nursing till he was 1 was an achievement for both of us. And weaning him was a piece of cake. I just replaced 1 feed with a milk feed & within 2 weeks he was weaned with no fuss.

to be continued...

Dh went along with me since he had no arguments against it. But when we attended a ante-natal talk conducted by Mt Alvernia Hospital, he was sold! Why? The lady conducting the class had stated very matter-of-factly that breastmilk changes with the baby as baby grows! Isn't that wonderful? It is a live liquid! It changes with the baby's needs! So that means milk produced for a newborn is different from milk produced when the baby is 3mths old & definitely different when the baby grows to be a toddler! Wow!

We have come a long way from that particular class way back in 1998. I have breastfed all 5 of our children, for as long as 12mths to a currently still nursing-like-there's-no-tomorrow 18mth old toddler.

Besides the fact that breastmilk changes with the baby's needs (no need for follow-on formula or powdered mik for 1yr olds as marketed by the formula companies!), there is a very simple reason why I breastfeed.....

It is what God intended babies to feed on!

The Lord God Almighty who designed & created women to be able to bear a child, to be able to sustain life & grow it until a time deemed right to birth him/her, did not forget about the little one's nourishment out of the womb. He made women's bodies able to continue to nourish the little precious gift immediately upon birth. He even made sure that the baby has enough reserves to last as the mother's body provided nutrient-, antibody-rich colostrum for the baby till the mature milk comes in (3 - 5 days after birth *if* nursed regularly round the clock).

Isn't His design perfect & marvellous?

There's no need for any supplementation of any kind! But sadly, many women sabotaged or are sabotaged in their initial efforts to breastfeed - through ignorance. Ignorance of the mothers themselves, ignorance of the medical community, ignorance of the well meaning friends & relatives. And so they had to either supplement with formula milk or they stop breastfeedingcompletely - all the while chanting the oft heard reason of "not enough milk".

Don't get me wrong. There are women who can't breastfeed or who can't produce enough milk - these are the consequencs of living in a fallen world. But these are the minority. Most women fail because they give up too easily due to ignorance and some, due to selfish reasons.

I will not go into the medical reasons or give you links & quotes from studies showing you how superior breastfeeding is. I think these can be easily called up when you google for it. Dr Jack Newman, M.D., the La Le Leche Organisation or our very own Breastfeeding Mothers' Support Group (Singapore) has tons of information on this.

My purpose in writing this is just to point out that God has created a perfect food for our babies & that is one GREAT reason to breastfeed! :)

I will write about my breastfeeding journey in the next blog.

Ruth had been night weaned more than 3 weeks ago so what could have caused it? And I hadn't been lying on my side (a possible cause of blocked ducts on the side of the b*east). This time round, the blocked ductS were on the top of the b*east! At 1st I thought it was 2 lumps but horror of horrors - it was 1 huge lump stretching across the armpit to the cleavage! It was sooo painful that I couldn't bring myself to touch it, less massage it! It even hurt when I had to lift up my arms!

In practical terms, I knew I had to massage the blockages hard but it was so painful! So I laid hands & prayed! And the Lord was merciful. He caused the huge swollen section to slowly diminish & I was able to massage it in the hot shower in the afternoon, with more force than I could in the morning. Dh prayed for me before we slept & this morning, I woke up with only a 10% painful feeling! Now, at 11:20pm (Singapore time), it has totally gone!!! Halleluah!

So what is one to do when faced with a blocked duct? Well, besides praying, that is :)

a) massage the affected part hard with either a very hot towel placed over the affected part or under the shower with the shower heard pointing at the affected part & again, with hot water - as hot as you can bear,

b) massage before bb latches on & continue to massage as bb nurses,

c) if you can get bb to cooperate, point bb's chin at the affected part. Eg. if the lump is at the bottom part of the b*east, then a football hold is preferred. But I must say that if your bb is older than 6mths or is a particularly fussy bb, that would be difficult to do. ask me how I know? :)

d) nurse, nurse & nurse. That is the best way to clear the blockage. No pump - manual or electric is as effective as your bb! Let me warn you tho' - it hurts!!! But so does pumping it out. i'd rather the bb do it anytime!

You must make sure that it doesn't develop into mastitis. But even if it does, you do not have to stop nursing! If need, be, get a prescription for the infection that is compatible with nursing (tell the dr you are nursing) & keep on nursing! Dont' let the dr scare you into stopping, even for a few days. It is not necesary & will not help it go away.

FWIW, I had blocked ducts with every child, except David. And I had a mastitis attack with Sarah & with Esther. I celebrated Sarah's 1 mth birthday with fever & chills, not knowing that I was having mastitis! The GP I went to tried to scare me into stopping nursing by telling me I was harming my bb by feeding her "gobules of bacteria"!!! She then told me I had to take all responsibility if anything happened to my bb! Ah! Such lovely ill-informed GPs we have! :( And no, there's nothing wrong with Sarah!