• Oct. 16, 2007
Beware of the dolphin swing!
You know, if it can happen, it will happen at my house. I just rescued my 6 year old from a trip to the emergency room to have a baby swing cut off from her body! Over the weekend, my brother-in-law kindly brought us two baby swings that they didn't use anymore. One is the little red plastic seat that everyone thinks of when they think "baby swing." The other was a different beast altogether, literally. It is a blue Little Tikes baby swing that looks like a dolphin. It has quite an appealing look to it, apparently even to a 6 year old.
Around here, we've learned that it's pretty important to have a general idea what Darcy is doing *at* *all* *times*!!! Well, this time, I didn't know. I didn't know because I was trying to stop the bleeding from my own hand after I cut it. I cut myself while cutting fake fur fabric that is about a 1/2 a mile thick. The fake fur is for a lamb costume for Lily. But, I digress.
Darcy took advantage of the situation and decided that she would take a swing in the new baby swing. The dolphin must have also been part siren, because I'm sure it was irresistably calling Darcy's name. Odysseus himself could not have resisted. She took the red one down, and put the dolphin one up. The dolphin swing doesn't have long enough ropes, which is why the ones of us with a little more foresight determined that the dolphin swing, as cute as it is, would be unsuitable for Lily the way that it is. Obviously, Darcy's foresight is a little short-sighted!! She put up the dolphin swing and put herself into it. She was delighted. For all of 2 minutes, I'm sure. Then she realized that she was stuck. Stuck bad. Now, Darcy is what you would call a "solid" little girl. She is quite muscular and very "sturdy." She weighs about 70 pounds. I cannot lift her. I cannot carry her. The plot thickens.
I heard Darcy hollering at the top of her lungs, "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY"
I went to the window to see her sitting in the dolphin swing which was between 4 and 5 feet off the ground. At that moment, I knew this was NOT a good thing. "Oh, great." I went out and attempted to extricate my daughter from the death grip of the dolphin swing. I couldn't lift her high enough and she could not pull her legs out. The dolphin snickered. Hmmm. We tried to put her feet against the ledge of the swingset platform and let her push her legs out. Bad angle, it hurt. The dolphin sneered. Try again, Mom. I had to call Josh to come and help. Josh told Darcy to grab onto the beam that the swing hangs from and then pull herself out. We lifted her high enough to grab the beam. She hung there. The dolphin, with its insideous smile, stayed put. We pulled on the dolphin. It would not budge. I think it even turned its head around and tried to bite me.
Be still my heart. I had to concentrate on my breathing now because I realized that this was more serious than I first thought. I had visions of having to cart my daughter to the emergency room with a dolphin wrapped around her legs. This is not a pretty picture. How would I get her inside the ER? She couldn't walk and I couldn't carry her. I would need a wheelbarrow for sure. Oh, wouldn't that be a riot to everyone in the ER? Can you imagine the stories they could tell their families? "Honey, you'll never believe what rolled into the ER today!!" Ok, I don't know if I could suffer through this humiliation. Gotta keep trying.
We told Darcy to grab the beam again. While she hung there, we unhooked the ropes from the beam. Then Josh helped me lower Darcy down to the ground. She was able to stand on her feet, but that dumb dolphin just stayed put, grinning the whole time. He was definitely enjoying this. Josh stood in front of Darcy and I stood behind her. On the count of three, we both pushed downward. Darcy screamed. It hurt. I was afraid that if we pushed too hard, we might break her legs. I would bet money that I heard that dolphin giggle. That swing was going nowhere. I started to panic again. I really did not want to have to wheelbarrow my child anywhere! It suddenly dawned on me to send Josh back to the house to get some vegetable oil. He came back and we slathered up one leg with veggie oil, both sides. I could see that her legs were getting red. I was afraid that they might begin to swell. That would not be a good thing. I tried to move the dolphin up and down with the oil. No way, no how. I began to pray. As much as that dolphin was grinning from ear to ear, I'll bet God was chuckling a little bit Himself. We must amuse Him constantly with the things we get ourselves into. I slathered up the other leg, both sides. Josh and I again counted to three. We again tried to wiggle and force that dolphin down. No going.
I sent Megan in to get the phone. I needed backup. I was going to call Danny. What would I say? "Um, Darcy's been swallowed by a dolphin and we can't get her out"? Shades of Jonah here. I know he would just die laughing at this one. This was even funnier than when I called him and had to ask, "Where are the keys to the handcuffs?" (Zak's handcuffs and guess who found them and modeled the new "jewelry"?) Before I called Danny, I thought I would try one more time. If this oil didn't work, I was fresh out of ideas. We had to wiggle and jiggle quite forcefully, but finally, that dolphin let go of Darcy's legs.
Apparently, when the manufacturers say, "Intended for children 3 and under" they mean it.
Comments
• Oct. 16, 2007
Untitled Comment
Posted by Arby
Maybe you should have called a vet.
Tatersmom says: "You're nicer than we are. The first thing we would have done is grab a camera."
Where are the pictures?!
Your story is a riot! I always know that when I have one of those days, I can always turn to your blog to remind me that there is one person who truly understands.
But the important question is, "How's the dolphin?"
Glad that everyone is okay.
• Oct. 16, 2007
To Arby:
Posted by Shelbelle7
I panicked too much to think of the camera. Plus, I only have dial-up and I've tried to load pics before, but it never finishes loading. The dolphin is probably in need of the oil slick teams they send out to take care of animals after something like the Valdez. I'd like to wipe that silly grin off his face though. I think he planned the whole thing! ;o)
• Oct. 17, 2007
OK, so....
Posted by donna2238
do you ever think od taking pictures of these occasions???? Oh my! Meagan and I have such a laugh when reading these accounts of your life. They are a blessing to our day!
• Oct. 17, 2007
Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
HAHAHAA! Oh, that is gooood. Too bad you didn't get photos - they would have been perfect "first date" shots. "Oh, you're taking my daughter out to dinner? Well here! You HAVE to see the pictures of the Dolphin Swing!"
Loonymom (TOG blogroll)
• Oct. 21, 2007
Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
Your life is soo awesome. The way you look at things that would normally crumble another Mom. I can tell your family is full of love, Leena
• Oct. 22, 2007
Untitled Comment
Posted by debdillon
Gracious! I'm glad she's okay. I have been very blessed with my 6 and (so far) none of them have needed constant watching.
• Oct. 22, 2007
Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
I am glad she is okay.
LOL What a story!