• Nov. 13, 2007
I'll have a burger with a side of pandemonium, please
It's always hysterical to go through any fast-food drive-thru with a family of 9. Personally, because I seriously struggle with what I call "input overload," I abhor being in the driver's seat at a drive-thru when all the kids are with us, and I will avoid it like the plague. Danny, on the other hand, will bravely, and usually quite patiently, endure the tempest that follows the deceivingly simple phrase, "May I help you?"
You'd think that by now, after 20 years of kids, we would have a system for this, but nooooo. Danny will call out an order to the electric board and then at least 4 of the kids will simultaneously call out their orders to him. As Danny tries to decipher the orders through the jumble of what was said, inevitably the order-taker will ask, "Is that all?" If we aren't quick enough, we will be given our order total, at which point Danny must say, "I'm not done yet." A typical order, like tonight, will go something like this:
Danny: I just want you to know that this is going to be a large order. Ok, I'd like a #3 with cheese, no onions, heavy pickle.
Girl: You want to super-size that?
Danny: No, and I want a Dr. Pepper, lite ice.
Girl: You want a Diet, no ice?
Danny: NO, d.o.c.t.o.r. p.e.p.p.e.r--LITE ice.
Girl: Okay, your total is....
Danny: No, there's more, I've got a large order
Girl: Ok
Danny: I want a...
Josh, Megan and Darcy: hamburger, Daddy he kicked me, chicken nuggets,get your seat belt on, icee, stop whistling, blah-blah shake, jingle bells, I like salads, I'm getting carsick, crispy blah blah, I don't want anything right now, get a girl toy, french fries, Mom she's taking off her shoes, no apple dippers, ewww--who farted?
Girl: Your total is....
Danny: NO wait please, I've got more. (turns head to kids) Josh, what did you say? Never mind Josh, now, Darcy what do you want?
Josh, Megan and Darcy: hamburger, Daddy he kicked me, chicken nuggets,get your seat belt on, icee, stop whistling, blah-blah shake, jingle bells, I like salads, I'm getting carsick, crispy blah blah, I don't want anything right now, get a girl toy, french fries, Mom she's taking off her shoes, no apple dippers, ewww--who farted?
Danny (who must have telepathically received an order out of the above): Ok, give me a kids meal with a hamburger--what do you want to drink?
Girl: Is that all sir?
Danny: No, I'm not done yet, I've got a LARGE order here. This is going to take a little while. Darcy, what do you want to drink?
Josh, Megan and Darcy: hamburger, Daddy he kicked me, chicken nuggets,get your seat belt on, icee, stop whistling, blah-blah shake, jingle bells, I like salads, I'm getting carsick, crispy blah blah, I don't want anything right now, get a girl toy, french fries, Mom she's taking off her shoes, no apple dippers, ewww--who farted?
Danny: NO, what do you want to drink?
Darcy: a shake
Girl: Ok, your total is.....
Danny (enunciating now in a very exaggerated way): NO, I've got MORE to order---Darcy what kind of shake do you want?
Darcy: a small one
Danny: No, what kind?
Darcy: a kids meal
Danny: No, Darcy, what kind of shake?
Darcy: a kids meal shake
Girl: Ok, your total is....
Danny (now speaking through clenched teeth and with brightly flushed cheeks): NO, I've GOT MORE--Darcy, what color shake?????
Darcy: pink!!
Danny: ok, strawberry shake.
Girl: Ok, your total is...
Danny (now past the point of no return): NO, I'VE GOT A LARGE ORDER HERE!!
And on and on it goes. There was one time that the girl actually raced Danny and told him his total before he finished every single thing that he ordered. We've had people behind us honk their horns and shout out obscenities for the length of time it took us to order. Nothing fast about fast-food when we drive up. But really, I mean what's so bad about taking 45 minutes to order? Then of course, after we get our order(3 hours later), we absolutely have to go through the entire bag to make sure that we have everything, because, let's face it, with an order like that, it's next to impossible for them to get it right in one shot. In fact, I'd be willing to bet money that we've only gotten a competely correct order about as many times as I can count on one hand. Yep, it's a real experience alright. Chaos doesn't even begin to describe it adequately enough. But, in our little abi-normal world, it's par for the course. I'd like to think of these experiences as building blocks on the road of life. I'd like to think that my kids will excel at dealing with situations out of the ordinary when they are grown. I'd like to think lots of things---like, that the next time we go through the drive-thru it will be easy as pie. Yeah, right!
Comments
• Nov. 13, 2007
Untitled Comment
Posted by Arby
Building blocks on the road of life? Sounds like parking blocks...right in the middle of the drive-thru lane!
• Nov. 14, 2007
Untitled Comment
Posted by debbiecorley
FUNNY!!!!! I can only imagine...we have a hard time ordering for 5!
