ok, so you'd think that by this age i wouldn't need to do a whole lot in the area of training my daughter, let alone keeping her so close. well, yes...and no. you see, parenting skills have i not of my own, but parenting skills must i learn and make them my own.

when i had my daughter at the tender, naive age of 19, i didn't know what to do or what i was going to do. so, i prayed, went to a church, found the Lord and started a journey toward becoming who Christ intended me to be. it's only been the last few years that i have even really begun to know and understand who that is. i've spent many years climbing to the top of the rubble heap that was my life in order to 'find myself'. i have by no means arrived per se, but i have a much clearer picture to look at and a reference point that is not so clouded. i did not grow up in the way, and it was never modeled for me, of parenting the way God intended--even with the mistakes. so my only references needed to be erased and replaced with those of the Lord and His word and not the ways of man or the world. not as easy to do as it is to say by any stretch of the imagination. i have struggled for many years trying to do what's right in raising my daughter and even though i wish there were 'do-over's' i still press on, trying not to look back and regret.

many prayers and petitions has the Lord heard me cry from the depths of my heart for this child (and me). and because God is Who He says He is, i am who i am today. she is who she is today. yes, there's room for more, much more, but I thank the Lord for what He has done for us thus far. He is so worthy of my most humblest praise. for without Him, we would be as the grass...gone. God be praised!

traci

Well, a lot has been going on. I worked my last scheduled shift this Monday and it went well. Most everybody has expressed their shock and disappointment of my leaving. I was actually quite surprised w/all of the catty-ness that was going on. I will still pick up hours here and there on an 'if you need me, call me' type of basis. That also allows me to visit my clients and keep a relationship w/them-the one reason I was staying on so long other than financially needing to. Looking back, this has been very good for us. Already the Lord has provided income and ways to get income by helping others. It's been a really great transition too. I'm happy, Love's happy and my husband is happy and he even apologized for not trusting sooner (I'm not sure he needed to, but I gladly forgave him!). I apologized for not being more peaceful in my trusting his timing (I wasn't bouncing off the walls, but I wasn't exactly sitting quietly either!). I think we all learned something out of this. I learned to trust my husband and he learned to trust the Lord, and me. That, is worth the temporary discomfort. Lovebug is also happy about it and has come to a point where she has begged me to NOT send her back to public school! (I'll elaborate on that next time.) Peace has been restored, we have been more productive in our house cleaning efforts and have accomplished tons in that department. Our house is becoming a home and our family is finding its identity.

I have taken on a few babysitting roles and I started tutoring a student at the local private Christian school.House cleaning is also showing a promising response. I'm sure there are other things on the horizon as well. It's so good to be in the home though!

We are now able to be involved in a care group, now that I don't have to always be at work. I have also accepted a role on our Publications committee at church and we are getting 'plugged into' our church more than ever now because of my newly found availablility. We are on the worship team at our church and can now do more such as lead and be at meetings, conferences and community events. It has been so sweet. We are also able to have more fellowship w/friends and it is just all around a good thing!

Now if we could just get pregnant... :)

Hope all is well with you and yours,

Many Blesings,

Traci :)