A friend posted this on an email list i'm on - about "are homeschoolers difficult" and how we are perceived as such by the church community.

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SmallWorld/326161/

i've been thinking about this from the other end lately. I've had a friend who is a pastor tell me that they (the pastors) need us "yapping dogs" to eventually right the drift churches go through - but i think for me, it showed me more that this is how pastors see us. and then i think of the pastors i know.

And i know some very holy men who love God with their whole hearts - some married, some single. But many of the other pastors i've known, many were not even true believers (i.e. they publicly denied at least one tenet of the Apostles' Creed), they consist of more than half of the sexually immoral men i've known (sad! porn, cheating, even same sex stuff) Something is wrong with how we do church - and it's not just *me* that's the problem, or complainers - something with the way churches get a leader (instead of discipleship, you can buy your way in with a four year degree? reminds me of the story of Simon Magus

( http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts%208:18-23),

something wrong with the way we staff the board (whoever has the most money is in charge of the church finance bcz that's "his gift"? when the Bible is VERY clear about what it takes to be in church leadership - and we just ignore the whole passage -

 Titus 1 : 6An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient. 7Since an overseer[b] is entrusted with God's work, he must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. 8Rather he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. 9He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.-

And why is there no understanding that the Christian life is a journey and we are all on the road, going to the same place, but necessarily on different parts of the road? The modern church assumes we are all static figures on a timeline. Now we are saved, we will never grow, never change, our needs will never change. We can just do Purpose Driven every year and stay perfect the way we are.

 This is NOT the Christianity the Bible espouses! The Bible says we will be persecuted - the Bible says we need to strive to grow in deeper understanding of God, His Ways, and His Word. I love the verses in Philippians

phillippians 3 12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. 15All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16Only let us live up to what we have already attained. 17Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. 18For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. 19Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. 20But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

 it does not seem to me that most churches i've been in even know there's a race on. but maybe it's because i haven't been anywhere long enough to get to see others' hearts. i know the good that i have seen in the churches we've gone to have not been pastor driven (well, some are! We have def. seen pastors driven by a need to be more like Jesus) - but it's been the passion of one person here, another person there... and God blesses that work. but i've also seen pastors defensive against these types of things, and refusing to mention it in the bulletins, or sanction it, or allow their building to be used for it (one group i went to at a mega church was all about prayer for revival - after a year and a half, we were allowed to use a backroom in their huge mega building. i was so surprised by how many people showed up, bcz up until then, we had had to meet in someone's house - didn't realize other people were meeting in other houses, too... good surprise!)

 it just seems so petty, and more than that - dangerous to the cause of faith - it is substituting something cheap and plastic and small for something of infinite value. And people are made to feel like they are trouble makers, complainers, and "not team players" if they insist on searching for the real, true stuff...

Many pastors now are so afraid of controversy that they refuse to be relevant to the world around them, to the issues that "seekers" are confronted with every day in their newspapers, in their offices, in their homes. instead, trying to substitute a smarmy one size fits all "church culture" that i don't think is comfortable for anyone (but i may be wrong! Some people like polyester!) People come, looking for transcendance, and leave, confused but sure that *that's* not what they need.

This is not salt and light. it's fake rock music and light shows. nothing of substance. Nothing that lasts. I remember being a teenager and realizing how much hypocrisy there was in the church and my mom encouraging me not to throw out God with the believers - i want to give my children examples of true, dynamic lifechanging faith, but if i can't find it in church, i don't want to innoculate them against the Kingdom of Heaven by having the only putative inhabitants be people with no fruit, no passion, no walk.

 I know this seems like way too much complaining, but i think in all things we as mothers tend to look at the pros, the cons, and what DOES God require/desire of us? and i'm landing in a different place than a lot, but i think there are more people in my boat than there were even 10 years ago. Is that good or bad? i don't know. Will it lead to tiny splinter groups all over with their own heretic gospel? honestly, i think it might. I don't like *not* belonging to a church or a bigger organization, but there are none that don't either ask me to add to what God has laid out in His word, or ask me to ignore part of it. and i can't. Not right now, not with seven children watching me. If i were a single woman, maybe. Maybe i could keep my eyes open, my heart toward God, and try to make it better, but with so much on the line, i think this is where God is allowing me to be. God has been very definite about His call in my life, and most of all church has attacked that call and tried to discourage me from doing it with excellence.

 I've heard talk of the "post church era" and i don't know if that's true, but it's the church that's changing (the church buildings, not the Church universal) - not God, or His Word, or His people. I don't want to get caught in the "frog in the boiling water" beaker. I want to hear His voice and obey... and i want my children to listen to Him, not to a ton of extra intermediaries (1 Timothy 2:5 For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus,) including me... wow - there was a floodgate - took me all day to write it up in between diapers, breakfast/lunch, Battleship Potemkin :) and smoochies... I know i sound very passionate when i write, and it's not even anger - just a realization that what i believe is not what is, and a passion for being here, despite the uncomfortable nature of it. stephanie