• Mar. 6, 2008
I'm on the fence & what a mess I've made

So, this is my first entry and let me start out with a disclaimer

**I'm a mess...don't know what direction to go...and envious of others who are more focused and disciplined than I**

Here's my situation....warning!!!! long and full of rambling

At this time, my children are (real names withheld to protect the innocent):

T-Rex:a 14 year old boy...full of life and currently in his freshman year and attending public school.  Was homeschooled for the 7th grade...hated it and resented that decision.  He's VERY socially advanced and honestly delightful minus some personality quirks.

Joey: a 9 year old boy...was homeschooled for 3rd grade only...incredibly intelligent...self-directed learner...very observant...claims he wants to be homeschooled next year.

Boo: a 7 year old girl...was homeschooled from K-1st and is currently in 2nd grade at public school.  She was very shy around others and surprisingly opened up through homeschooling (though others doubted that would work)  She loves "school" and seems to be doing well.

Me: A 32 year old proud mama who researched and contemplated homeschooling for 4 years before taking the leap in 2005.  I homeschooled *T* and *J* for only one year.  

I was met with absolute resistance from my 12 year old (at the time).  He thought I was punishing him...but, I saw him slipping through school.  An A & B student up until the (awful) sixth grade....he felt that what I was doing was the worst thing ever.  We (hubby & I) went ahead and chose to homeschool all three.  

I was overwhelmed, to say the least but really enjoyed what I was doing.  For some reason, that escapes me now, we decided to allow *T* and *J* to go back to ps the following year while I continued to homeschool our daughter.  This school year we have all three in ps and I have toyed around with the idea of going back to college or working part time.  For some reason nothing has "quite fit" and I'm am now wondering if the reasons why are showing themselves.

Last night...my oldest came to me (you remember..the one who thought homeschool was punishment) and asked if I would reconsider homeschooling him. 

HIM: "Mom, would you want to homeschool me?"

Me: "WHAT!!??"

HIM: "I think I want to be homeschooled"

ME: "Why, do you think you could sit around and do what you want?"

HIM: "No, but my grades are slipping and I am easily distracted at school and if I ever want to get into college I need to do something about it...besides...I don't know why I ever wanted to go anyway....I can see my friends after school"

ME: "Well, this wouldn't be something we could just jump into...we really need to think this through".....in my head....my heart skipped a beat and excitement re-entered my life...been missing for a while.

Anyway, I re-spoke with him about it this morning and reminded him that he would no longer be able to do football, wrestling, other organized sports and he told me he already thought about that.  This just threw me for a loop because he is actually (against what I would want) a very popular kid and I have always worried about that because in my experience those children tend to "try anything" during these turbulent years...especially with his dare-devil attitude.

On top of all that, my middle child asked if he could be homeschooled 2 weeks ago. 

Theres so much more to this story but, I'll explain more later....I don't want everyone to run away from my blog for fear of my rambling on for days and days..... 

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