The Journey

Aug. 23, 2007

Preteen ... does that mean there is something worse????

    I have always heard that the teenager years were the hardest ... but I don't see how I am going to make it through the preteen years to get to them. My 11 yr old dd is hands down the most mind boggling creature I have ever met. She can (and often does) switch from sweet, bubbling-over with joy, loves the world and everyone in it to paranoid, angry and down-right spiteful in the blink of an eye.
    I keep thinking that if maybe I figure out the right words to say, I will get through to her and her eyes will be opened to the fact that she is irrational - and it is NOT that "the world hates her," as she has been known to say on occasion.
    I go back and forth on whether homeschooling her during these years helps or hurts. Would she be better off if she didn't see me all the time? Am I wasting my breath, trying to instill a sense of integrity and honor to a preteen?
    I find myself at a loss more times than not. What do I say to this kid? Does she really truly think I don't love her sometimes?
    Anyway, if anyone has any words of advice, I welcome them! Or if anyone just wants to commiserate .....I'm all ears!

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Aug. 18, 2007

In the Beginning

So another school year starts off again for us. I have this 'thing' where we start out slow - real slow, like with only a few subjects. Kinda like we're dipping our toes in the water. The kids like it cause it gives them a taste of the up and coming year without totally ousting the idea of summer vacation. I like it, cause it gives me a feel for what kind of scheduling I'm gonna need to work out.
Once again tho, it is the math that is killing my dd. Its not that she isn't good at it. In fact she is great at it. But she totally hates it. Hates every second of every minute doing math. She just feels it is tedious. We tried math u see a bit, but she wasn't learning enough - if that makes sense. So we are back on ABEKA. I don't know if this is just a struggle she is going to have to go through, or if there was some other way to help her at least not dread this subject.
My youngest dd is a reading fool! I can't keep enough books around for her. She is really into the Disney Fairy stories, and she has read all that our book store here carries. So she is reading Geronimo Stilton until we can find more fairy books. My oldest dd has gotten into Nancy Drew. She is mystified by how Nancy can alwasy come up with the answer. She doesn't want to see the movie though at all, cause she said it just doesn't seem like they portray Nancy the way she really is.
We will have one more week of school here, before swimming starts up again. Thats when the real work begins. juggling school with activities. I miss my friends at the pool we used to swim at before we moved. Most parents still dont hang out waiting at practice. That hasn't changed. But the group that does stay ..... well if I want to avoid perverse speach, I have to avoid many of them. Its a long story with more drama than I've ever found on any daytime drama. But I don't want to get involved. So I bring a book. And read while I swelter in the heated in door pool.
Oh Well , such is life!

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Aug. 18, 2007

Tagged ????

Okay TB! Here I am blogging for you. Actually I have no idea what got me looking at this blog that I haven't looked at in FOREVER ... just in case you couldn't tell. Ha!

1. All right, here are the rules.
2. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
3. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
4. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight
things and post these rules.
5. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged
and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I grew up in the Midwest, but am loathe to say I am 'from' there. I don't know why, but I always felt like I wanted to escape. Like there was a much bigger world, and I was trapped while I lived up that-aways. Maybe all I really wanted was a change.
2. It took me 25 years to figure out that my sister didn't hate me. In fact, she never even disliked me. What I saw as her disapproval, was actually her frustration at seemingly never being 'good enough' for me. This breaks my heart even today as I write this.
3. I swore I would never be one of those Army wives who tried to lose weight while their husband were deployed.
4. However, unless he gets extended again, I've got less than 5 months to shed these 10 bls. ; )
5. Cancelling my subscription (or putting it on hold anyway) to satellite TV has taught me more about myself than i ever thought possible. I have to find new things to do with my free time. I am more prone to spending quality time with my kids in the evening and I am more mellow. I for sure get to bed on time much more these days.
6. I hate cream soda.
7. More than just about anything else, I am scared of failing as a mom.
8. I am often in awe of all the grace that God has shown me through my life. Many people live thinking that they deserve better than the lot in life that they have. I am blown away because I know I don't deserve the all the good things I enjoy everyday.

And I would at this point tag others - but I don't know anybody else on here to tag .......

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Feb. 18, 2007

An answer ro why I homeschoo .....

        I think its hard for people to understand that learning a whole lot of facts is not all that valuable. There are homeschooled kids that do exactly what they would do at school... only AT home. They are busy, yes. But they are also bored and hate school! One of my main goals is to get my kids to develop a love of learning. I can only teach them so much. Eventually they will be on their own and they will get to decide whether to continue their education. A love of learning, wanting to know more and knowing where to find it is so much more precious and long lasting than knowing the exact dates that Henry VIII beheaded and/or divorced his 6 wives.

         FYI for anyone who cares to know - I decided to homeschool only after I went through exhaustive surgery, 6 months of chemo and endless tests and doctors visits. I thought I was going to die. To be honest there were times I would rather have died (but that is neither here nor there). But having so much time to think, to do nothing but think, let me think about things I would normally not question. Having cancer didn't and doesn't change how long I have to live. I could die in a car accident just as easily. Nobody can change those things. But what I do with the time I do have - that is my choice. And I know I'm called to raise my kids the best way I know how.

            My oldest was in a private school when I was diagnosed. She was at the top of her class. She was ahead of the average ps kid. I never questioned whether she was getting a quality education. She was also learning many other things though too. Like how to show disrespect, how to treat others badly if they weren't "cool", and many other traits that left her in her room in mandatory 'quiet time' more times than I can count. These kids ... my kids .... they are my legacy. Gosh there are so many things. How do I want my kids to remember me? How important are test scores, manners, social activities? If I don't teach them what is important, who will?

            You know what is priceless? That I can tell when something is wrong with my daughter because I can recognize that she chews her nails differently. Both of them will talk to me about anything - and I do mean anything! My preteen says she would rather be with me than anyone else in the world, that there is not enough time in the day to spend with me. My youngest loves to surprise me by doing everyone's chores without them knowing. They love God and are constantly looking for ways to help the homeless and others that are in need.

            They are busy. All day they are learning. They are learning about life and about how to live. Some of that can be taught with a text book. Some of it can be taught through videos and cds. But I have found that so much more is taught through us just being together, talking about everything and taking each day as it comes.

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