Monday, December 7, 2009 - Maintaining excitement throughout THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
I've received a few great questions from some women over the past few days and wanted to share them with all of you participating in THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... SHMILY STYLE. I think that it will not only help you to know that you're not alone in some of your feelings and struggles, but to also be encouraged, so stop back over the next few days to see some of the questions women have been asking, as well as some ideas to help you get through THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS!
QUESTION: "Amy, how do you maintain excitement for 12 days of Christmas Shmily time? I tried it last year and frankly it was hard! Hubby was feeling special but honestly I just wanted to be left alone and sleep. Help me get mentally straightened out to try again!" - JessicaI have to be honest... I struggle EVERY year with this whole thing, to some extent. Now, don't get me wrong, it's so much better than it used to be BEFORE I started the "12 days of Christmas" with my hubby... but that doesn't mean it doesn't go off without some trials, and I honestly believe that the more women that I tell about the 12 days of Christmas in order to bless their marriages... well, do you think that satan is just gonna sit back and watch my marriage flourish? Absolutely not!
It's not always easy to "maintain excitement" for 12 consecutive days, and some years are certainly harder than others! As much as I'm trying to be positive about this year... I have to admit, I've been in a slump with our move to a place where know virtually no one to plant a church with my Beloved. We have had our ups and downs, and since we are VERY passionate people... our ups tend to be "sky high" while our downs are... well, they're down right ugly. Now, take all that, add in homeschooling, kids away from friends, financial stresses and... a baby due soon... well, that just sounds like the makings for a disaster doesn't it? tee hee...
I honestly hesitated this year when I realized when THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS was going to be and when the baby was due... I am literally due the day before I normally start this whole thing (which is my hubby's birthday) and so not only did I realize I was going to have the "normal" struggles of prior years... but having a baby at some point before the 12 days is up certainly means I'm gonna need to get a LITTLE... uh... creative... Not only will hormones be in full swing... but I will have a new little one "sucking the life out of me" (I nurse my babies) and that can be draining as well.
But the more I thought about "canceling" the whole thing... the more I knew I needed to do it... not just for my sweet Beloved... but because I needed to look forward to it as well. I needed to remind myself of all those reasons I fell in love with my husband... and the many more that I've fallen in love with since then.
I think we all know that by doing this... we certainly are blessing our husbands and our marriages... but I realized how I've really taken the whole thing for granted by thinking that I'm doing my husband some great big favor... when, in reality... I am equally blessed by these very special 12 days each year. By focusing on the good things about my husband, I "fall in love" all over again with the man I married... but there is still more...
I GET to serve my husband more intentionally then I normally do. Sure, I wash his clothes, make meals for him (although I don't know if he'd say that's a blessing or not considering the cook HE is), make sure his closet is full of clothing that fits and shoes to wear... but I can so easily fall into the routine of being his wife, that I forget the privilege of being so much more... a servant who acts out of love, expecting nothing in return... THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS makes me focus on my husband's wants, needs, and desires more than ever before and I find myself truly loving making him smile. It's no longer about what he's done for me... what I might get in return... or why he isn't do this or that... my focus is not on ME... and honestly women, that's right where God wants me as a wife all the time.
So, while I know 12 days IS hard to keep the excitement alive... I want to challenge you to really focus on your husband and not yourself... push yourself to go a little further when you feel like throwing in the towel... go the distance because in the end... it will not only be your husband that will be blessed... but you as well.
I honestly hesitated this year when I realized when THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS was going to be and when the baby was due... I am literally due the day before I normally start this whole thing (which is my hubby's birthday) and so not only did I realize I was going to have the "normal" struggles of prior years... but having a baby at some point before the 12 days is up certainly means I'm gonna need to get a LITTLE... uh... creative... Not only will hormones be in full swing... but I will have a new little one "sucking the life out of me" (I nurse my babies) and that can be draining as well.
But the more I thought about "canceling" the whole thing... the more I knew I needed to do it... not just for my sweet Beloved... but because I needed to look forward to it as well. I needed to remind myself of all those reasons I fell in love with my husband... and the many more that I've fallen in love with since then.
I think we all know that by doing this... we certainly are blessing our husbands and our marriages... but I realized how I've really taken the whole thing for granted by thinking that I'm doing my husband some great big favor... when, in reality... I am equally blessed by these very special 12 days each year. By focusing on the good things about my husband, I "fall in love" all over again with the man I married... but there is still more...
I GET to serve my husband more intentionally then I normally do. Sure, I wash his clothes, make meals for him (although I don't know if he'd say that's a blessing or not considering the cook HE is), make sure his closet is full of clothing that fits and shoes to wear... but I can so easily fall into the routine of being his wife, that I forget the privilege of being so much more... a servant who acts out of love, expecting nothing in return... THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS makes me focus on my husband's wants, needs, and desires more than ever before and I find myself truly loving making him smile. It's no longer about what he's done for me... what I might get in return... or why he isn't do this or that... my focus is not on ME... and honestly women, that's right where God wants me as a wife all the time.
So, while I know 12 days IS hard to keep the excitement alive... I want to challenge you to really focus on your husband and not yourself... push yourself to go a little further when you feel like throwing in the towel... go the distance because in the end... it will not only be your husband that will be blessed... but you as well.
FYI: I made a booklet to encourage your husband for 30 weeks... in it there are a few things that might help you to stay focused on your hubby as you prepare for the 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... and to help you stay that way throughout. You can find the booklet by clicking the following link: 30-week Husband Encouragement Challenge.
December 2, 2009 - December Lessons (or Homeschool Lite)
Early December Days We Love To Celebrate:
Here's a recipe for Lucia Bread that my family likes to make. Super easy.
Poetry:
We're sharing a fancy tea party with friends at The Washington Duke. Have you ever been to a high tea? We went one year on my birthday and loved it very much.
All the children have been asked to bring a poem to share. Kevin is still trying to decide if he'll write his own or just read something else. In any case, it's nice to be invited to something so festive-- and a good reason to teach boys about table manners ;-)
Book Club:
This month we're reading Three Cups of Tea along with our book club pals. We'll be getting together for a discussion followed by Christmas cookies and (of course) tea. Hmmmm... this month seems to be one tea party after another.
I'm good with that.
Geography:
Pakistan and The Middle East
Math:
It's my hope to use this month to make a big jump ahead in our math studies.
But really now. Who am I kidding?
Tuesday, December 1, 2009 - The 12 Days of Christmas is coming!!!!
THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... SHMILY STYLE! is coming SOON!
Now, for those of you who may be unfamiliar with this SHMILY Time tradition, The "Twelve Days of Christmas" isn't talkin' about "A Partridge in a Pear Tree. It's a twist that I'm sure your husband will enjoy!
It all started because my husband and I would wind up arguing during the holidays EVERY YEAR because it was so stressful. Spending time and money on friends and family seemed to get out of control no matter how much we tried to "get better" each year and would result in some sort of argument, so A few years ago, I decided I would something different... Twelve days before Christmas just happens to be my husband's birthday, so I surprised him each day, and got us all the way to Christmas day without an argument! I found it really hard to get angry with someone that I was so focused on loving and praying for!
THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... SHMILY STYLE revolves around the act of love and anything leading up to it. Now, I know this "strikes a chord" with some of you and I know that sex is not the only thing that makes a marriage good... so please don't send me emails or leave comments telling me this. (In fact, if sex is the only thing good in a marriage that's not healthy either.) What I've found to be true however, is how "taboo" sex is, especially in Christian marriages. We don't talk about it or even acknowledge it's importance in our marriages, when the fact is... God created it... and it was His intention that it is good. I understand that we, as a society have ruined that in so many ways, on so many levels... but THAT is not God's fault, nor does it change what He intended for beautiful and fulfilling and to make a husband and wife as one. Because of what sex has become because of premarital sex, pornography, adultry and the like, we have somehow become "scared" to talk about sex in a Christian marriage as if it's "dirty".
Unfortunately, sex is also one of the first things we "take away" or avoid when things get rough in our marriage as well. Let's face it, when you're arguing with your spouse, do you feel like making love?... probably not... and when that happens, the enemy begins his work at destroying our marriage... Think back to when you were falling in love with your spouse... at some point in time, there was a physical attraction... and chances are good it was pretty "intense". Just because you may have been married for awhile, that does not mean that your love making should get boring, or non-existent. It doesn't matter what stage (or state) your marriage is in right now bring the spark back to your marriage, and start with THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS!
Now, for those of you who may be unfamiliar with this SHMILY Time tradition, The "Twelve Days of Christmas" isn't talkin' about "A Partridge in a Pear Tree. It's a twist that I'm sure your husband will enjoy!
It all started because my husband and I would wind up arguing during the holidays EVERY YEAR because it was so stressful. Spending time and money on friends and family seemed to get out of control no matter how much we tried to "get better" each year and would result in some sort of argument, so A few years ago, I decided I would something different... Twelve days before Christmas just happens to be my husband's birthday, so I surprised him each day, and got us all the way to Christmas day without an argument! I found it really hard to get angry with someone that I was so focused on loving and praying for!
THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... SHMILY STYLE revolves around the act of love and anything leading up to it. Now, I know this "strikes a chord" with some of you and I know that sex is not the only thing that makes a marriage good... so please don't send me emails or leave comments telling me this. (In fact, if sex is the only thing good in a marriage that's not healthy either.) What I've found to be true however, is how "taboo" sex is, especially in Christian marriages. We don't talk about it or even acknowledge it's importance in our marriages, when the fact is... God created it... and it was His intention that it is good. I understand that we, as a society have ruined that in so many ways, on so many levels... but THAT is not God's fault, nor does it change what He intended for beautiful and fulfilling and to make a husband and wife as one. Because of what sex has become because of premarital sex, pornography, adultry and the like, we have somehow become "scared" to talk about sex in a Christian marriage as if it's "dirty".
Unfortunately, sex is also one of the first things we "take away" or avoid when things get rough in our marriage as well. Let's face it, when you're arguing with your spouse, do you feel like making love?... probably not... and when that happens, the enemy begins his work at destroying our marriage... Think back to when you were falling in love with your spouse... at some point in time, there was a physical attraction... and chances are good it was pretty "intense". Just because you may have been married for awhile, that does not mean that your love making should get boring, or non-existent. It doesn't matter what stage (or state) your marriage is in right now bring the spark back to your marriage, and start with THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS!
Note: If you are in a process of healing in your marriage, or there is a hurt that hasn't been dealth with or forgiven, then please take a moment to pray the SHMILY PRAYER. I realize that some hurts and problems need more time to heal, and so this year may not be the time for THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... instead, you may want to tuck this idea away and continue to pray for God to restore your marriage, including the act of love making. (The Power of a Praying Wife is also an excellent book to begin praying every day for your husband.)With ALL that being said, THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS involves some planning, so take some time to be thinking about what you can do to begin a year that will hopefully start a life long tradition!
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It begins on December 14th (12 days before Christmas)... and is for 12 DAYS... 12 consecutive days (or nights)! This is especially fun because most people's traveling and visiting relatives is during these days (keeping in mind that this would be especially fun while visiting relatives because only you and husband will know what's going on...)
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This involves an investment in your "drawer of many blessings" drawer as well... and yes, you SHOULD have one of these drawers, so make room (throw out some clothes if you have to... your hubby would rather see you in these anyway!) Start saving money and get your drawer stocked up! You'll be able to "recycle" here so the money you spend here is worth it in the end. You're investing in your marriage and that is never money wasted. (Your size is NOT an excuse either! Please read, "He loves you... quit hiding!" if you're struggling with your outer appearance. Have all your "little blessings" bought by 14th and plan for each day's surprise, along with any evening you might be able to get a sitter and go out (with your "little blessing" on to tell him about over dinner), or a friend to watch the kids so you can stay in (and put your "gift" to use)!
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Make or get a card to give to your husband on the 13th. An idea would be:
- "To celebrate the next twelve days of Christmas I have planned a special "gift" for you each day with only you in mind! Anticipate what each will bring as we celebrate the next twelve days of Christmas... twelve you're sure not to forget!" (Don't forget to sign it, SHMILY!)
So with all that being said, get to work ladies! This is going to be a year your hubby won't soon forget! Don't forget to remain especially prayerful as you plan and prepare for these wonderful days. The enemy loves to seek and destroy marriages, and he will do what he can to ruin this by getting to you and your attitude. Pray for the Lord to help you be loving toward your husband (even when the kids have been arguing all day, the laundry tub overflows, the bills are adding up, or... whatever). As women, we have a tendency to be more emotional, which certainly can backfire when things go wrong (or not according to our plans!) Stay focused on the wonderful and endearing qualities you love in your husband (just in case he upsets you... tee hee) and the wonderful gift the Lord gave you in your husband. Be determined to succeed in this wonderful "gift" to your husband and when things get tough, fight back with the strength of the Lord!
For some ideas, on what you can do for your Beloved, check out the SHMILY Time blog and please feel free to email me with more of your ideas to share with others (include your name and/or your blog address if you're willing to share that too!) AND you can sign up to join the SHMILY Time fan page on facebook too or THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... SHMILY STYLE event on facebook!
Put the spark back into your marriage and tell others about THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS by posting the blinkie on your blog/website! May the Lord be glorified as we seek new ways to put the spark back into our marriage!
For some ideas, on what you can do for your Beloved, check out the SHMILY Time blog and please feel free to email me with more of your ideas to share with others (include your name and/or your blog address if you're willing to share that too!) AND you can sign up to join the SHMILY Time fan page on facebook too or THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... SHMILY STYLE event on facebook!
Put the spark back into your marriage and tell others about THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS by posting the blinkie on your blog/website! May the Lord be glorified as we seek new ways to put the spark back into our marriage!
Thursday, November 26, 2009 - Post from the Past: Thanking God for Our Thorns
One of my all time favorite stories I love to read each Thanksgiving... it's worth the read... and please feel free to share what thorns you'll be thankful for this Thanksgiving!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009 - Post from the Past: Things to do for Thanksgiving
For those of you looking for some things to do for Thanksgiving (whether homeschooling or not)... check out some of the following ideas from a post from the past:
FREE Thanksgiving Unit Studies and More!
Please feel free to share any of the ideas or traditions you do in your home for Thanksgiving!
