Sep. 18, 2005 - Angry? Maybe you are Suffering from too much Self-Promotion?
Mark 10:35-45
Maybe some of you leaders out there can relate to the following scenario. As spring was wrapping up and activities were coming to a close for the year, I was well into my planning for the next year. There were dates to secure with our regular facilities, sports registration packets to compile, webpages to update, e-loop calendar reminders to stop and re-schedule for the fall, planning meeting agendas to compile and finally, next years registrations and fees to collect all over again! Throughout the summer I kept looking for a "break" that never came. In the meantime, my husband ended up in the hospital with a kidney stone, which resulted in a long road to recovery that took the entire summer schedule and just threw it out the window.
Now, all of this would have been doable if I didn’t get angry. It didn’t take much. First, one by one, the gals in our "Academy" began to share that they would be unable to make our once a year planning meeting. So, we decided to go without the meeting. Then, not a single registration arrived by the deadline, which meant our insurance check might need to come from my own wallet again. The final straw was when the class schedule went unfilled and we were only a few weeks from our start up date. A seed of frustration began to grow and I was watering it with my thoughts daily. These families were in summer mode but I was still waiting for my "break."
We ended up having a meeting and at that gathering I shared my frustrations, the good the bad and the ugly. The gals, lovely dear hearts they are, all responded so wonderfully. Volunteers picked up the slack and we made concrete changes that should make next summer much smoother for us all. I felt better but not 100%. My usual perky self was being dragged down by my poor attitude.
You see, I had allowed a seed of discontent to grow in my heart and I needed to take my anger before the Lord. After I poured my heart out to him, He showed me that behind the anger was a whole bunch of "me" blocking the way to peace. I felt slighted, offended, wounded and taken advantage of but I had done it ALL to myself! You see, I gave more than I should have and I expected something greater in return. I expected a place of honor and respect for my efforts. Indeed, it had become all about ME!
In Mark 10 we see John and James allowing their thoughts to drift towards their future fame for their earthly discipleship position by vying for the special places of honor, at the Lord’s right and left hand, in heaven. Is our goal in homeschool ministry to be appreciated and "known" or is it to become like Christ and be a servant? Are we to be concerned with self-promotion or are we rightly focused on being a support to the homeschool community around us? Does our group have to be bigger, better and more exciting than another for us to be satisfied? Such a heart does not match up with the character of a follower of Christ. No longer will I "give till it hurts." Instead I’ll be making regular visits at the filling station by the Lord’s feet to be sure that it hasn’t become all about my own self-promotion.
Comments
Dec. 16, 2005 - Ouch!
Posted by insomniac
Oh my, what a thought-provoking post! I'm gonna have to chew on this one for awhile.
What a valuable lesson to remember and unfortunately have to learn from first-hand experience!
I appreciate you sharing this and am glad that I "randomly" found it. (I think the Lord directed me!)
May. 21, 2006 - I completely understand..
Posted by Edelweiss
...and thank you for voicing the frustrations and cause so clearly. I'm an area administrator for a private school for home schoolers. We recently enjoyed our Spring Formal and Graduation...separate events w/in 1 week of the other. I catered the meal for the formal (130 student) and planned/presided over the graduation. I was bound so tight I was ready to burst...and had a couple meltdowns along the way. The Lord is faithful and showed me that HE is really in control...NOT ME!!! And that dear revelation was AFTER each event because I wasn't listening close enough beforehand. sigh...
Thank you. :o)
