Jan. 28, 2006 - To whom do you confide?
Leaders have a special challenge when facing organizational difficulties. When personal hardships strike these can often be shared with close friends who comfort and advise. However, many group conflicts must often remain private so as not to affect group morale. So to whom should you confide for help?
Recently my husband and I faced some struggles with the co-ed homeschool basketball teams we coach. We had a time of challenges on many fronts :
- facility scheduling issues
- players with scheduling conflicts with another popular homeschool program
- parents demonstrating poor sportsmanship at our competitions
- modesty concerns
- an over focus on winning by players and parents
These issues even came between my husband and myself as we were spreading ourselves too thin and operating "in the flesh" when trying to find suitable solutions. At times we felt as though we would burst if we did not vent our frustrations out loud.
Most often there will be families involved in your organization who will share your concerns. It will be difficult not to engage in gossip when seeking solutions. That is why PRAYER is your number one defense.
Prayer gives us something that no friend can give - God's perspective. While a friend can point to God, prayer can give you sustenance FROM God. Once you have HIS perspective it's easier to move forward toward a solution. Do NOT make ANY decisions based only on emotions. Instead, pray until you feel a release from your emotional state and are therefore free to begin problem solving.
After prayer your trusted Godly friend can come in handy. Once you have God's perspective you can have your friend brainstorm with you for solutions to your leadership challenges. What a treasure indeed is a friend who will put aside the desire to hear about all the "players" involved and will instead share from their own experience. I have a special friend with whom I can strategize and I cherish our friendship. We are united in our desire to avoid gossip and to work out solutions. We have leadership experiences that bless one another. A trusted advisor of this caliber can ease the mental load that often comes with leadership.
Lastly, a warning about venting. If you give in to the temptation to pick up the phone and "vent" to a friend you may start a chain reaction that will hinder all your future leadership actions. Homeschool communities are generally tight-knit groups. Word spreads quickly even when said "in confidence." It is so important to address issues directly and decisively without having comments hastily spoken in frustration getting out beforehand. Your decisions will most likely be received with respect if you follow these guidelines.
