Every year hundreds of new families begin homeschooling in Oregon. They start with the best intentions but somewhere in the process they find themselves immobilized and overwhelmed. Statistics tell us that about 70% of them will quit in the first year. Most never plug into local area support groups, they never connect with their state organization or meet with a play group of other homeschooling families. Many of them do not have a greater vision for homeschooling and its opportunity to disciple kids in the way that they should go for God’s glory. So when the road gets rough and the difficulties come, they are without wise counsel to know how to proceed. If they had a mentor to turn to they might have been able to get through the tough season.
Truthfully, homeschooling throws many of us a big learning curve. I clearly remember the first support group meeting I went to. I was an academic driven, former high school teacher who was worried that my son wasn’t reading as well as he should be. The group divided into circles which focused on the 3 R’s and each mom was sharing their struggles and successes openly.
When it was my turn I soberly shared my concern. A veteran homeschooling mom next to me asked how old my son was and I replied 5. She burst out laughing and told me I needed to go find another group, most of the kids these moms were worried about were 9 and 10. I was startled, was she serious? The other moms in the circle lightly teased and chided me for trying to get my 5 year old to read any more than he already was. They told me I should be praising God it was going so well. They encouraged me to set aside my false assumptions and relax a little. This was priceless and timely advice.
The idea of passing on information and encouragement from those who are ahead on the path of life to those just beginning is the biblical model of mentorship. As Christians we are mandatorily expected to be mentors. God expects the older and wiser to help those behind them one generation at a time. Titus 2: 3-5 clearly states that the older women are to teach the younger women “to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind,” Sounds a lot like homeschooling advice to me.
For many years I looked for those older wise women to speak into my life and then one day I found others looking at me for advice. The change happened very quickly and I see it in a broader perspective now. For example my support group has a yahoo group that allows moms to exchange questions and ask for advice with the click of a button any day of the week. It has been fun to see the gals that were just starting out a few years ago now confidently answering newbie queries. They have slipped into the role of mentor without even knowing it. You only need to be one step ahead to help those behind.
So what can you share with a beginning homeschooler when you are called upon for advice. Here are some truths that helped me that I readily give to others.
Remind them they that they can do this. There will be plenty of voices telling them that it is crazy to homeschool. They need to hear a positive spin from you. Tell them that anything good for God’s kingdom will be battled against so they need to expect it to get difficult at times. Encourage them with the truth that our God never calls us to a job that He doesn’t equip us for, but sometimes the equipping happens just as we need it and not before. Share you story with them so they can see it lived out. I can’t tell you how many kinesthetic tips for teaching reading I had learned by the time our fourth child was ready to learn but I praise God for everyone because God knew I would need them.
Remind them to laugh at themselves and with their kids. We all make mistakes, learn to laugh at them. Moms and kids will spend countless hours together when they homeschool and a good belly laugh at a silly situation can cement those bonds together tight enough to smooth out the wrinkles of relationship. Choosing to find joy in the day will make a huge difference in their attitude and ability to continue.
Remind them that practice makes perfect. Super homeschool mom does not happen in one day. It will take time to learn how to teach their kids and to figure out what learning style they are. It will take time to find a schedule that works well for their family. If a curriculum isn’t working set it aside, they will make better choices next time.
Remind them not to compare themselves with others. The grass always looks greener in someone else’s homeschool. When you feel that “I’m not good enough” condemnation coming on, nip it in the bud by thanking God for the giftings He has given you. I’m definitely not the crafty hands on mom like my best friends. They hunt, and tan the leather they use for a teepee. No way can I compare myself with that. But I love books and will spend hours dissecting passages and pulling literature analysis out of 1st graders while my friends can not. God made you the mom of these kids. He knew just what they would need. Trust Him to help you be the best teacher for them with the supplies He provides.
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