......I had to take my beloved cat, Barry to the vet on call the other night on emergency. He got major sick again and I couldn't figure out what was going on. I was headed to bed and I picked up Barry to take him with me and he was so having a hard time breathing and we was limp and cold and I could just tell that he was prolly going to die. All day that day he seemed to be doing okay, though his appetite was off but he still ate and he seemed lethargic and not active, but it's so hard to tell when he's already a non-active cat by nature and sleeps all day anyways, so I had to wake my daughter up and we took Barry to the vet on call. We just did this about a week ago and I couldn't figure out what was going on, because I did everything the vet instructed. He told me that he was prolly going to pass away very soon, so he should just go ahead and put him down, unless I wanted to have them put a tube him his stomach so they could force feed him and keep him there for intensive care, but he was so far gone, that it prolly wasn't going to do him any good and I wold lose alot of money. So, I had to make an extremely difficult decision with my daughter standing there and we had her dear kitty put down. I feel, I have failed my daughter and her cat. I am so attached to him, too and even our dog, Lacee is sad for the past couple days, looking for Barry and sleeping in Barry's house under his blankets to feel close to him and our dog won't let us out of her sight for fear she will lose us too. It's so sad and I am doing better today, but the past couple days have been so hard on me and my Daughter. My daughter, though, is handing this better than I am. It's almost like a reversed role and she's the mom and I'm the devastated daughter. My five year old is so much more mature beyond her years. She knows Barry is waiting for her when she gets to heaven to live with her in her mansion. My daughter has a maternal instinct and has been the one taking care of mommy. I haven't cried in front of her, because I am trying to be strong, but she knows I am sad and she will come up to me and just hold me and stroke my face with her hand and tell me it's going to be okay, then lay her head on my chest to comfort me. I am blessed to have such a wonderful daughter. This child that God gave me.

And God obviously knew this was going to happen and He lead me to get Dudley, another pet. The intention was to get Barry a buddy to run around the house with and be best friends. Now, I am struggling because part of me feels like this happening in the timing that is did, is just way to wierd. It feels like Barry is being replaced. It's gonna take a while for me to get used to a new kitty face around here and not have my dear Barry to snuggle with. True, I love Dudley and see him as a new member of the family, so he has no worries, but I still feel funny about all the past days event's and how the timing was so, I don't know, wierd. Barry died the day after we adopted Dudley and so we picked up Dudley the day after Barry passed away. How strange is that?!?!?!?????? I mean, really, really wierd. I know God had His hand in this and that is why we were lead on a spur of the moment to just go out and adopt a cat. I NEVER, never ever, do spur of the moment things........so I know this happened for a reason. While Dudley is settling in so well and my daughter is spoiling him rotten with lots of love and I just keep him comfortable and will cuddle and bond with him, I am still not completely opening up to getting attached just yet to dear Dudley, even though it's not his fault. I just lost a wonderful awesome friend the other night. So, in time, I will be fine. If I hadn't have adopted Dudley, I know it would have been quite a while before we considered adopting another cat. Don't get me wrong, I get very sad and depressed over people and loved ones, too, but animals are my passion. I grew up on a ranch and my mom was a vet's assistant and I am studying this next semester to follow in my mom's footsteps to be a vet assistant, too. My passion for animals is part of who I am.

Gals, I am sorry for not getting back to your posts on my blog and I will do my best to get back to everyone when I am ready to get back in the game again. I just miss my Barry the drama king very much. I just wanted to let everyone know where I was and what the deal was. Sorry again for being MIA! I hope everyone has a wondeful and blessed day today and HAPPY THANKSGIVIVING to you all! Hugs and God bless,

-Chris