A friend sent this to me and I got a good laugh, so I had to pass it on.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILARY CLINTON
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me. .....
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's >>>> acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is eith e r against us, or for us. There is no midd le ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY!
You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was goi ng . I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why th e chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .......reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
Of course everyone in Tennessee knows the real reason the chicken crossed the road!
The next time you hear a politician use the
word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about
whether you want the 'politicians' spending
YOUR
tax money.
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,
but one advertising agency did a good job
of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.
A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
A billion hours ago our ancestors were
living in the Stone Age.
A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
A billion dollars ago was only
8 hours and 20 minutes,
at the rate our government
is spending it.
While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New Orleans It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division
Louisiana Senator,
Mary Landrieu (D),
is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans . Interesting number,
what does it mean?
Well, if you are one of
484,674 residents of
New Orleans
(every man, woman, child),
you each get $516,528.
Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in
New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.
Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.
Washington, D. C HELLO! Are all your calculators broken??
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Perm it Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax),
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax),
Liquor Tax,
Luxury Tax,
Marriage License Tax,
Medicare Tax,
Property Tax,
Real Estate Tax,
Service charge taxes,
Social Security Tax,
Road Usage Tax (Truckers),
Sales Taxes,
Recreational Vehicle Tax,
School Tax,
State Income Tax,
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA),
Telephone Federal Excise Tax,
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fe e Tax,
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax,
Telephone Minimum Usage
Surcharge Tax,
Telephone Recurring and
Non-recurring Charges Tax,
Telephone State and Local Tax,
Telephone Usage Charge Tax,
Utility Tax,
Vehicle License Registration Tax,
Vehicle Sales Tax,
Watercraft Registration Tax,
Well Permit Tax,
Workers Compensation Tax.
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY? Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago,
and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
Well I am very happy to report that the theif that broke into our house has been apprehended.
They were not able to release his name to me. But the detective personally came out tonight
to let me know that he was in custody and his bond was set to high for him to be released.
He is being charged with over 20 home robberies in the area. They were able to get a confession from him. He stated that he sold stuff for whatever amounts he could get fast. Trying to get money for Rx drugs. Oxy something. Some kind of Painkillers.
It is so sad to see how the enemy has been able to trap this young man, now he has stolen his life for the next few years as well, as he will be serving time.
My prayer is that it won't be wasted and that he would come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.
Just think, what if you did lose a little bit of stuff, but through it this man gained eternal life.
Talk about turning things around for the good. I ask others to join me in prayer for this person.
That he would experience the true life change that only Jesus can bring.
I am also greatful that we will finally be able to sleep tonight.
I have been busy over the last week with details. Over a dozen homes in our area and surrounding neighborhoods have been burglarized over night while people were at home sleeping.
The latest was last night, just down the road from me. They entered through a window that was not
locked.
We are instituting a neighborhood watch. If you live in a neighborhood and do not have signs up saying your
neighborhood participates in one, you may want to contact your local police or sherriff's dept.
They will come out and hold a meeting in your neighborhood to help educate and train the citizens on
what measures they can take.
One thing we are planning to also start is an email group to notify everyone in the neighborhood immediately if someone is robbed. Getting the communication 3 weeks later is too late. So people can get text messages on their phones, emails or phone calls to alert them. Also to let people know if there are suspicious cars in the area.
I know that many residents including myself are not getting alot of sleep, these thieves are checking doors, and windows on houses throughout the area.
It has been rough over the last week. We have stayed inside alot and kept the doors locked out of fear.
Not knowing who it is doing this.
Pray that they will catch these people before someone gets hurt.
We know all things work together for good for those that love
the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
It's easy to ask "Why, God?" when bad things seem to happen.
But this time I didn't ask. I knew that God had protected our family in the midst
of a home invasion and robbery.
That morning I awoke about 3 AM and went down the hall to use the bathroom.
(I did not want to use ours and wake my husband.) I did not enter the den, but I
was only feet away. (If he was in the house then or not, I am not sure.)
I remember thinking "I can't believe how loud those birds are chirping at 3 in the morning.
DH says it may have been because the back door was open at the time and the screen was
allowing the sound in louder.
It is scary to think about what might have happened if we had met face to face.
A person brazen enough to enter someone's home in the middle of the night, must
be desperate for money, perhaps even high.
I know that God allowed this to happen. But in the midst of it, He also protected us.
Perhaps he was giving us a warning to be more cautious and secure our home
better. We have taken many measures now to help prevent this sort of thing.
How do we know that God didn't allow this so we would be more on guard and
He could be saving us from something far worse down the road.
We also found out that there have been other home robberies in our area, 1 other in our neighborhood and 4 in the neighborhood across the highway from us.
We also learned that he took my dd's backpack (that was on the den sofa) with her Leapster, 4 game cartridges and the rechargeable battery pack.
And my van key was in my purse.
I pray that this person is apprehended and that the items be returned and that no
other families needlessly suffer. Also I hope that no one gets hurt.
1 Peter 5:8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
I was thinking about this scripture this morning. Yesterday my son said "Mom, I wish I could see that person that broke into our house in jail.." I told him that if the police don't find him/them he will still be dealt with. God has ways of dealing with people. So we are praying for this person and his soul. The road he is on is destructive and the devil has him as a pawn. I'd rather be the victim of an evil act than be the one that could be in the mindset to do such a thing.
Last night my husband and I were talking. Sometimes God allows things to get your attention. We live in a fairly low crime area (town) and really feel pretty safe. And the break in the other night proved how un-alert we have been lately. Feeling safe we have let things slide, like double checking deadbolts, putting off taking security measures. So yesterday I realized how much God is saying "secure your home". Not just our physical home, but also our spiritual lives. Are we self-controlled and alert? Are we wise as serpents but gentle as doves. Are we on the lookout for the enemy? Or are we sleeping? (Spiritually).
The scripture says he prowls around like a roaring lion. (He is not a lion, he just has a loud roar.) He had no power over us, except that which God gives. (And again that is really about God dealing with us.) Perhaps even saving us from something far worse.
Here is what the Bible says in Matthew 6.
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
The Bible also says in Matthew 24:12
Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.
As christians we have to be careful to not let our hearts be hardened in this world by those that desire to do evil. (Always remembering these people are trapped by the enemy and slaves to do his will until they repent and ask for freedom through Christ.)
Someone broke into our home last night while we were all in bed asleep.
When my dh got up this morning he walked into the den his computer (from work) was gone.
He came and woke me up and said my computer is gone.
We got up and began looking upstairs to see what happened. (At first we were still scared someone might be in the house, maybe downstairs, etc.)
We called the police, then I noticed my purse was gone.
(In my purse was my camera bag, and my cell phone was in it.)
They also got away with my dh billfold.
Funny they left my guitar which was right beside the door they went out of.
So they have all our ID's, Check card, etc. Which of course are of no more use since they have been reported stolen. But I did have $200.00 in grocery money in my purse.
But in the midst of this we are thanking God for our protection. This person was only feet away from my sleeping son. We heard nothing to alarm us and even the dog did not wake up.
(Which I am really thankful for, because if he had the burglar may have become alarmed and it could have caused sometihng really bad to happen.)
We are upset over this-mainly because it is scary to think someone was in our home, and
the things they took were many personal things.
But when you think about it, all that is just stuff. It is a hassle now to make all the phone calls and have to get new check cards and new drivers liscense etc. But that is nothing compared to having us all safe and sound at home. He only got stuff and all that can be replaced.
Thank You God for watching over us and keeping us under your protection!
Well look what I found in my bird feeder this morning. I was trying to figure out how all the seed was being eaten daily. Anyway this little varmit is BUSTED! I put this in slideshow format because I could not get the images to resize on the blog, even though they are resized on Photobucket. A glitch I guess.
And what makes this so bad is that I have squirrel feeders on the ground for them already. Guess they can't determine the difference.
Anyway this makes our unit study on Squirrels much more interesting this week. We are doing a Multi Book Unit from Homeschoolshare. Today we read Earl the Squirrel.
Be sure to mute the sidebar first. You will notice a turn in the video. Well I just got my new camera and thought I would try holding it vertically. (I am still trying to figure out how to edit that part.)
Anyway, I love my new camera and it took the videos and the pictures.
If you are on the lookout for a new camera, this might be a great one for you to consider. You can take a product tour by clicking on the link. Underneath it says product tour. Click the button and it will show you a video with more info.
4 or 5 years ago I received my first digital camera. I was glad to at least have digital. It was a Casio 4MP. Now, the Casio takes great outdoor pictures. But the indoor pictures were always full of red eye-even with the correction on. It also did not have much of a zoom on a 3X. So I was unable to capture great pictures at ball games etc.
So I went searching for the right camera. One small enough to fit in my purse at all times. I researched reviews for 7 days. And I would not even consider a camera that did not have many great reviews. I looked at reviews online from Wal-Mart and Circuit City. Dh ended up getting it at Circuit City. My local Wal-Mart had it marked down to $249.00 but they did not have it in stock. I waited a week hoping they would get it in. Then I went online to see if Circuit City actually had it and they did, and it was marked down even further to $217.00 Dh also got me a 2GB SD card and I have rechargeable batteries. The battery life was the only negative review factor on this camera. The powerful zoom does eat through batteries quicker. (I also plan to keep some of the lithium on hand for emergencies.)
Another Feature that was important to me was a great zoom. (In fact this is the main reason I chose this camera over others. I even decided to stay with 8 MP and not go with cheaper cameras that offered 10 and 12MP. It has a 10X optical zoom, and then can continue on with the digital zoom up to 40X. I can get close ups of the flowers or birds across the street in my neighbor's yard. It also has a great telephoto (wide angle) lens. So it would compare to a 35 mm camera as far as taking quality shots.
Also because we homeschool, we are always wanting to take pictures of nature. Birds, squirrels, bugs, etc. It also has an image stabilizer. Which helps steady the camera. Over the weekend I took many indoor and outdoor pictures and red eye was minimal. (And even the few that contained red eye-were easily corrected with the computer software and the auto fix for red eye.)
What is really amazing about this camera is the cool video clips you can get. You can even hear the playback from the camera itself. You can add voice notes to pictures, etc.
Anyway I am not one to brag. I am just sharing my excitement to be able to leave the prehistoric times and get into some new technology!
I hope to be posting more pictures I have captured later this week.
This month we learned about Cave art. Prior to people writing on paper they first wrote using picture drawings in caves. It was a way to communicate and also they believed it could protect them. They would put the art on the walls to form a sort of sanctuary.
We also talked about God giving the 10 commandments to Moses on Stone Tablets.
We read a chapter out of a book called "Days of the Cave People". The chapter discussed the tools and materials they would gather together.
These are similar to the pictures I passed around. I actually swiped these from my friend Lisa's Blog.
I assembled a cave from tables and taped on brown paper so the children could feel like they were in a cave. They were given nature colored crayons (reds, browns, sepias, blacks, and greys) and were told to pick a part of the wall to draw something on.
We played a couple games. One was duck duck goose, but we used Cave, Cave, Art.
And then we played Caveman says. (A clever improvise by one of the moms.)
After the drawings were complete we cut out each child's art work and let them take it home for their portfolios.
Last week we had an opportunity to learn a little about the 70's. As in 1970. Of course my dc were not born then.
We mixed glue and water and borax and water and green food coloring to produce green slime.
We made lava lamps with oil, water, red food coloring and an alkaseltzer tablet.
We (us older moms-relearned the Hustle), while the children learned the Hustle. It brought back great memories of roller skating days when I was in Jr. High.
We did this unit this week. (A freebie from HSS.) We enjoyed it and learned alot about Pioneers.
We added to our notebook. We also read The Floating House.
Originally I had planned Duchess bakes a Cake for March. But I was unable to get the book until yesterday. So next week we begin studying that and the days of nights and castles.
We will push back the other units and may even add a couple in. I really want to do Crow Boy and also Hill of Fire.
I must admit I am so very happy to get a new cell phone.
My old phone was a dinosaur. I had it over 5 years.
Anyway I love this styling little phone. It has a camera, so now I have pictures of my kids and dog.
You can take a picture of your friends and assign it to their number so when It rings their picture will come up. (Of course I don't know how to do that yet, I am trying to figure out all the features.)
I am still trying to figure out the shortcut keys to.
I got this phone at my local Wal-Mart. And the people in the Electronics department were great!
They were as knowledgeable as any true phone rep I have ever met. They knew Sprint, Verizons and ATT and all the plan details and phones, etc.
My dh had told me that he would get me the Verizon Flipshot for my b-day. But after looking into it-It was going to cost over $250.00 to get the phone, get a new plan and get the accessories.
So I decided on this free phone, offered through ATT. I just renewed my current plan for 2 years.
And now I am hunting for a new 8-10 MP digital camera that will fit in my purse.
If you have any good camera recommendations let me know.
We just returned from Texas for our daughter's wedding. It was like a whirlwind. We had so many people to see and things to do in such a short amount of time. But everything went great. We had a great time visiting with family and friends. We visited with my family, and got to see my brother's new baby. We visited with Gary's family. Saw his niece's new Antique shop. We also saw some close friends we had not seen in years.
DS and I got to go to Austin for one day and visit with my Great Aunt Ella, my 2nd cousin Glen and his wife Terry and also my third cousin Kelsey.
Over the weekend we stayed with our friends Gus and Debbie in Killeen. Gary got to go fishing with Gus and I I even got one night out to scrapbook with Debbie and her friends. (I actually got her into scrapbooking about 9 years ago and now she is a Scrapbook Queen.) She taught me about brad embellishments and gave me a ton of stuff!
We got to meet the groom and his parents and go out to dinner with them. Her husband is a special man and we thank God for him. We know that God brought them together.
Lexi got to hang out with Sissy (Jessica) one day and Jessica took her to get her fingers and toenails painted. They also went to the movies to see Horton Hears a Who.
DD was the flower girl and Ds was the ring bearer.
I have to say it was the most beautiful weddings I had ever been to. And she was a beautiful Bride! It will be a wedding she will always cherish and remember. And so will we.
Welcome to our blog! We are a Christian Homeschooling family and this is the place where we can share our learning, lives, and thoughts with those we love.
