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Comforts of Home Midwifery
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Aug. 11, 2009
God is Good
I have been going through a great period of doubting God. This is mostly because He just doesn't do things the way that I think He should or the way I want Him to. I totally don't know or understand His plans.
It has been very frustrating for me to have my business starting up so slowly. I have been having great financial difficulty. As a result, I haven't been able to do much advertising. So I don't get many clients. But if I got more clients then I could afford to advertise.
However with all that has happened with the baby coming and my kidneys, I have realized that God has planned it that way. It has been a lot less complicated having two surgeries so far this year, plus recuperation times without having to worry about doing prenatals and delivering babies. Lately I have started getting a lot of phone calls from people who have found my website or my business card at the library or coffee shop. Some of them are inquiries for one day when they get pregnant. Some of them have just not been possible, such as a diabetic VBAC who is also bipolar.
However, I now have two clients. One I did an interview and a prenatal for yesterday. The other I do her first prenatal for on Saturday. I realized that if I have just two paying clients at a time, I would not have to worry about my finances currently. That would be an awesome blessing.
I do of course want to grow my business to larger than that. Eman will be 18 in just over 4 years. His child support is my major source of income right now. I would like to get to the point where it is just extra to put towards saving for college or a car or going to visit relatives/friends.
I totally got off track here. I have actually been stressing about the money situation and had just told Eman that if these two clients didn't work out that I was going to start looking for a part time night job. I know that God has called me to be a midwife and to stay home and homeschool my kids. But when the bank balance is in the red, it is hard for me to not take that trust back. Every time that I do, He proves Himself to me though. |
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