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I wasn't taught much about money and financial responsibilites growing up and so I got into financial trouble when I moved out. I was a bit ahead of my roommate at least; I knew how to balance a checkbook - I did mine and hers. Determined not to let the same thing happen to our children, I developed a way to teach them about money. It worked great for us. It didn't involve any fancy curriculum or the purchase a bunch of pretend money; and it wasn't some small pittance of mad money for toys and bubble gum.. We gave them real money, real expenses, and real life. There are a few simple rules.
(1) If they're old enough to ask for money to spend it, they're old enough to be taught to manage it. My preschoolers always had a bag of coins to take to garage sales; if they wanted something, they had to buy it. We tell them how many nickles or quarters and they would count it out.
(2) Determine what you budget for each child, and then give it (or a portion of it) to the child to budget and be responsible for. This starts out small and increases with age. By the age of 6 or 7, our kids had an allowance of $10/two weeks. They were responsible for tithing, paying for AWANA and Scout dues (don't give into leaders who want the full years dues in a check up front,), buying presents for any parties they're invited to, and some for savings. By age 11, both our children were recieving $100/mo. In addition to previous responsibilities, they are also responsible for paying for music lessons, bowling fees, pet food, overdue library fines, and all their social activites: movies, youth outings, By age 13, they were up to $150/mo, had their own checking accounts and now have to foot the bill for clothing, haircuts, special activities, anything that they want puchased, sports registrations, etc. I promise that this puts an end to the desire for an $80 pair of shoes. Also, the rule applies: You break; you buy it. When our son was 15, he had to wait 2 mos and spend $90 for a new pair of glasses because he sat on the pair I had bought. At the age of 16-18, they should be finding a job in which case the allowance stops, but the responsibilites don't. I realize some of your are thinking, "I can't afford that kind of allowance". The answer is yes you can; it's a simple geography lesson: your spending the same money, it's just in their wallet instead of yours. Of course, if you don't spend $100/mo on a child, don't give them $100.
(3) If they want it, they buy it. I don't like green apple bubble gum, I don't have a barbie and she doesn't need a new dress, I wouldn't be caught dead in blue nail polish, and my fish doesn't need food. I don't play paintball, I didn't get invited to Water World with the youth group, I don't play the piano, and I'm not bowling every Tuesday. I do buy gifts for special occasions and occasionally just because, but if the words "Can I have that" come out of their mouth there are two ways to acquire it: Pay for it or Pray for it Note: All purchase require parental approval. Those items purchased without approval (and usually inappropriate) are confiscated and returned to the store. The money is returned to the parent - not the child. The loose the item and the money (consequence for bad choice). This is done with gentle affection with 6 year olds who are learning and with brute force on 13 yo who know better. (4) Teach them to always carry their wallet/purse and don't float any loans. This is the hardest part for most parents. Inevitably (and usually early on) there will come a time when they have picked out something they want to buy and swear they have the money at home and will pay you back. I usually retort (sarcastically) by asking the cashier or the customer behind me if they'll pay for my groceries because I forgot my checkbook. Yes, they have to leave the toy there; yes, there will be tears; but yes, this is life and they probably won't forget their wallet next time. (5) Don't give them any extra money or "advances" on their allowance. This teaches them to shop within their means. If they want to buy a birthday present for Suzy and only have $5 -- well, then they have to pick out a $5 present! Of course, I help them budget their money. If they want to spend their money I remind them that they have a birthday party coming up, or soccer registration they need to save for etc. If however they have not made wise decisions, well then the consequences are their own. Start teaching in September to budget and save for holiday presents.
(6) We never connect the money with chores. We felt this could lead to an attitude of selfishness and lazyness; if money wasn't needed, chores wouldn't get done and helping someone else with their chores was a demand for part of the money. We prefer to think of them as being on salary: We give them $$$$/week or month and in return they do what ever we require and work for as long as we want them to. The jobs that need to be done around the house are done to teach them how to care for their own. I'm not paying them for what I need to teach them. If they want to earn more money, they have to get it from someone else; I already paid them. Go mow grandpa's yard for $$$ or have a garage sale of your own toys.
I know this may seem harsh to some people, but I guarantee that it worked for us. It wasn't all boot camp; there was plenty of loving, gentl training and guidance along the way. Neither of my children ever resented it. They were capable at a very early age and as teens they are responsible and sensible. There is no more "I want that" or "Can I have some money." After 10 years of this we're a bit looser. We let them make mistakes - like bouncing a check because he didn't balance his checkbook for 4 mos (age 18) and they don't need parental approval on all purchases. They shop wisely and within their means. I don't ever expect them to be perfect (I'm not), but at least they are prepared when they're on their own. |
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