When you're a little girl, no one has to tell you you're beautiful. You know it. It's a part of who you are. I remember when I was little, I would play around and pretend I was a princess and any old boy that came along could be my prince. If I recall correctly, I also thought I was pretty darn gorgeous. Basically I was a little party girl, and we have pictures to prove it.
 
  Somewhere along the line, that changes. You get older and more self-conscious...then your first real crush decides he doesn't like you and calls you a freak. Suddenly you're unbeautiful, and you feel lost. You want to know what beauty is and how you can achieve it. You want to know how you spent your whole life never knowing you were a hideous pig that no one liked.

  That's when American culture swoops in on its vulnerable prey. It offers you a solution to your 'ugly' problem. "If you're slim enough, he'll like you!" "If you buy this makeup, you'll be pretty!" "If you wear this type of clothes, he'll want to go out with you!" You buy into it, not knowing that beauty cannot be defined, and even if you look like Angelina Jolie, not everyone is going to faint in your presence.

  You want to be pretty, so you do whatever you can. Even if that means starving yourself or throwing up your food after you're done eating it, or popping dietting pills.

  It doesn't end there, either.

  You have to match up the color of your eyes to the color of eyeshadow that would best bring out the color. You have to find the right top for the kind of top to go with your body shape ('Are you slim, pear shaped, or curvy?'). You have to go to the store and buy a tshirt, just HOPING that it doesn't show up in TeenPeople on a 'What Not to Wear' list. And because beauty is based on perception, one person might say purple goes best with green eyes, and someone else might say blue. What are you to do then? Geez-o-pete, that's a catastrophe...You mean there isn't a set answer for these kinds of things??? Is it purple or blue, come on people!!!

  Did you know that in the early 1900s, it was considered beautiful to be of larger size? Yeah, that's right, LARGER size. Things changed in maybe the 20s, when you were supposed to have a sort of boyish figure. Then came Marilyn Monroe...Suddenly 'big' isn't so bad anymore. You have to have *****, like her. And in order to have *****, you have to have a little meat on your bones. You know what the standard is now? A mixture of both. It's 'beautiful' to not only have huge *****, but a really tiny body. Good lord, how are people supposed to keep up???

  You want to know something even more 'bizarre'? I was reading in a magazine the other day that in some country in Africa, it's considered beautiful to color your teeth black and put a big clay disc in your bottom lip. No lies.

  Want to know something else? Did you know that if a woman had a neck as small as Barbie's, it wouldn't be strong enough to hold up her neck? If she had a waist as small as Barbie's, it wouldn't be strong enough to support her huge chest? And if someone had feet as small as Barbie's they wouldn't be able to walk?

  The point of all this? Beauty is based on perception. If a guy doesn't like you for who you are, who cares? Find someone that does, but always be yourself. Someday, someone's going to come along that things you're the most gorgeous thing on the planet, no matter how much you weigh or what your hair looks like or what kind of clothes you wear. Why would you want to miss him because you're too busy barfing up your lunch for Mr. Arrogant???

  "Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder."

  I need some way of recording my dream...I type faster than I write, and it's not intensely private, so I thought I'd post it...although I somehow feel better about posting it in the safety of the somewhat 'private' atmosphere of homeschoolblogger than myspace...which in spite of all it's privacy settings, still feels obnoxiously public.

  All that said, here is my dream...

  The main part of my dream starts with a man setting up some sort of new government...I'm assuming he is the anti-Christ. He sets up some sort of new system where you have to get a 'mark' in your arm. In my dream, though, you couldn't tell who had the mark and who didn't with your naked eye.
 
  I didn't want the mark. I knew somehow it was evil...So I started running down a street in town...I saw one of the booths where you could get the mark. The anti-Christ was behind the first one I saw. I knew anyone who was giving the mark would be pushy, and I also knew I could, and would be punished if I didn't submit...so I didn't want them to even see me. I thought it would be at least a few blocks before I spotted another booth, and that I would be safe...but I was wrong. Another booth was just a few feet down the road...and the anti-Christ was also behind this one! I sort of ducked so he wouldn't see me, then I took a side-road, hoping it would lead me away from the booths.
 
  It led me up into a mountain. It was cold out, and dark...I was scared and I didn't want to stay there, as beautiful as the scenery was...I sat on a ledge on the mountain...a little 'nest' so to speak...overlooking a beautiful river. I was on the verge of leaving when I noticed someone else was there with me...A woman. Now don't laugh at this...but she looked exactly like Julianne Moore! I think in my dream, she may have been an angel of some sort though, because she kept me company, and helped me from being afraid. Without her, I wouldn't have stayed on the mountain. She took care of me while I was there...which I think was for a couple of days. She wasn't the only person on the mountain, either...There were a few others on different ledges. I knew they were others who were fleeing from 'the mark'.

  After the few days I spent on the mountain, I decided it was time for me to go back into town. That's where my mother was...and my sister, I believe. For some reason, we were staying at a hotel...So many people were there, it was crazy...I think people had flocked from many places into the city to get the mark. There must have been some sort of advantage to it.

  The front desk at the hotel wasn't just a front desk, but also a place where you could get the mark...and where they would try to make you get the mark. But of course, as I said, no one could tell who had the mark and who didn't...So even if you didn't have it, they would be civil to you. We came and went every day, and every day, we were afraid we would be found out. I lived in fear that I would succumb to them and get the mark if they tried to make me. I didn't want to betray God, but I was afraid if I were faced with death, my instincts would kick in...

  During the time we were at the hotel, a suspicious murder took place. A rich man of some sort of high-standing was killed in the bathroom of his hotel room. I think it was a violent murder, too...I remember he had a son, about 11 or 12...maybe a bit younger...who I'm not sure had a very big part in my dream...but I think he became my ally later on. I remember him showing a lack of remorse about his father's death...but I'm not sure why.

  There was a point in my dream where my friends and my mother and sister were advising me not to say anything if people asked me if I had the mark, because you never knew who to trust. Right after (or before) that a nice, plump black lady was sitting with me in the hotel lobby and making small talk when she asked me if I had the mark. I don't remember my answer, but I know I left then.
 
  I was going back up into the mountains with some of my 'allies' (I say allies and not friends because I have no idea who these people were). Because of the long walk up the mountains, we were hot when we came back down, even though it was a cool day. At a drink stand, we ordered cold drinks. There was some sort of communistic 'mark supporter' (no idea what to call them) standing in line with us, and she became very suspicious when she saw that we had cold drinks...apparently because she knew that the mountains were a hot spot for those trying to avoid the mark, and going into the mountains would have been a good excuse or reason for us being all hot and sweaty. She asked us why we had cold drinks, and when one of my 'allies' gave an awkward response, she began following us and asking us if we had the mark...We just ran away. She looked just like a nazi. No exaggeration. She had the uniform on, her hair was bobbed very straight...She looked severe. She looked just like a female nazi.

  The only other thing I remember about my dream were irrelevant details like my mom telling me to memorize the names of the authors of romance novels (and some guy laughing about it).

  Also before this dream, I dreamed I was taking a test in a library...but I didn't know how big the library really was until I started looking around in it (which I wasn't supposed to be doing, I don't think), and I discovered it was HUGE!!! Which gave me great delight.

  Sorry to bore you with my long and scattered dream. I don't know why I felt compelled to blog about it, except that whenever my dreams are very vivid like that (which they rarely are) I feel like I need to share them...and I don't remember having a dream this vivid in quite awhile, if ever. I think there might be some meaning to it...Not sure what though.

  Hey Guys! It's been forever since I wrote a blog entry, and for that I apologize...I just hope people will keep checking my page in spite of my lack of consistency...
  This past month has been very exciting! Shortly after I wrote this last entry, my mother, brother, sister and I left to visit our old friends in West Virginia. It wasn't as long and miserable of a drive as I remember it being when we first came to Texas by automobile, and we stopped in Tennessee to visit Dollywood, a themepark in Dolly Parton's hometown...It was an amazing place! It was all decorated for Christmas, and it was so beautiful at night...I had so much fun, and got the funniest picture of me on a roller coaster with some guy...We're both wearing Superman t-shirts, and we both had the funniest expressions EVER on our faces...It was hysterical!
  The day after, we left for West Virginia, and we were there within the day...The next two weeks were amazing! It was so great to see all our friends again...It was also a great test to see who our true friends were all along. With some people it was like we had never been gone...Tayva and I basically tackled each other when we first saw each other, and there was NO awkwardness...hehe...it was so much fun! It was slightly awkward to be around some people, but that's alright...I had a spectacular time anyway!
  We went to movies with our friends, had get-togethers basically EVERY night...We were just always spending time with friends, and I loved it.
  We brought Willy back with us when it was time to come home to Texas. I had an excellent week with him as well...We played cards and watched movies, we went shopping and went to the movie theater...it was just a really fun week, and I felt more at home when I had him here. It was really sad to have to take him to the airport...I almost cried.
  I'm sure this place will grow on me though...like a wart. Hehe...I'm just kidding...I love the house, and the area is not too bad, but I just miss WV sometimes. It's like two totally separate realities, too, if you know what I mean. When I was in WV, it was SOOOOOOO different from here that I kept catching myself wondering how I've grown accustomed to this place at all. But when I'm here, it's like this is all there is. I'm not thinking about WV too much, and when I'm in WV, I'm not thinking about Texas too much.
  Two completely different animals.
  I think having Willy here was like uniting the two different realities. It just made it easier somehow.
  Geez, I'm all mixed up....but I hope you know what I'm saying...
  Oh by the way, when I was in WV, Willy introduced me to 'Moulin Rouge', which is now the theme of this blog. I LOVE that movie! It's so romantic!!!
  It's very very good.
  Um...what else? I've got quite a bit of money towards the mission trip now...Praise God! Will you guys keep praying for me about it? I might blog about this more indepth later, but if any of you would like to donate towards the mission trip, my email address is dontwannamissathing@gmail.com , and I would love any support I can get! Even if it is your prayers...I consider your prayers either of greater importance or equal to financial support!
  Love you guys!

  Hey guys!
  I'm off of myspace for a week...it's becoming a bit of an addiction, and I felt like God wanted me to take a break from it. It's funny the kinds of things that can become idols to you...Myspace? But it's just a website! I guess it technically is, but I just realized yesterday why people love myspace (and the computer in general) so much. It's because in your real life, you have to go with what God gives you. If it's raining outside, it's not going to change just because you want a sunny day. If God wanted you to be born without hands (or something of the like) you can't control having no hands. In life, you have to deal with whatever 'cards' are dealt you. But on the computer, it's your own world. I think humans have a need to control something, and this manifests itself in how much they love the computer. On the computer, if you tell your page to be blue, it's not going to be red (unless you use the wrong code, of course). On myspace you can control what your page looks like, you can add things to it or take away from it any given time. You can control the way you want the myspace world to see you. In real life, if you have a bad hair day, there's little you can do to change it!
  I was just pondering about that...But I know that even though the computer is a good thing in some areas, that particular site is becoming too much of an addiction, and so I'm off for awhile!
  Things have been going well here in Texas for the most part. Bethany has become a pretty good friend. My mom, sister and I took her to see 'Marie Antoinette' the other day, and we all liked it a lot! It was the first time Bethany had seen a new release in awhile, because if you want to see a movie that isn't second-run here, you have to go into the city, which is about 45 minutes away. It's kind of strange how far away we are from the movies and other things of the sort, because we spent all summer in an apartment that was about 5 minutes away from just about anything we wanted to do, and suddenly we're thrown into a thoroughly country setting. We've done that so much this year! You know...just switching from one environment to another with very little notice. One day, my mom just said, "Pack up, everyone, we're going to Austin!" I was like, "What?" lol...I've gotten quite used to unpredictability.
  I like it here a lot. We haven't found a permanent church home yet, and I've only made 2 friends, but that's alright. I know all that will come together in time.
  Hmm...Oh, I don't know if I posted this yet, but they changed the mission trip I'm going on from Italy and France to Italy and Spain! That was also quite unexpected, and I was looking forward to going to France, but that's alright. God must want me in Spain for some reason! And besides, Italy was the country I was really looking forward to! Also, I've sent out quite a few mission trip support letters.
  I miss everyone a lot...I can't WAIT to come to WV and see you guys...I think that's happening this Friday! I can't be sure, but I think we're coming really soon. It's going to be awesome. At least 3 of our friends are going to be having parties while we're there, lol...It's crazy! I can't wait to see everyone, though...I love you all!

  Hey people!
  Thought it was finally time for an update...
  Just in case you're wondering where my last entry went, I deleted it, because a certain friend of mine (KAMERON) was basically showcasing it to everyone and because of him everyone knows about a boy that I don't even like, but rather was infatuated with for awhile.
   Anyway, he lives 5 or 6 hours away, so I wouldn't be able to get to know him well enough to have an actual crush on him.
  So how is everyone?
  We got moved into our new house a couple weeks ago, and it is splendifferous...I love the house a LOT...It's like God hand-picked every little feature about it 100 years ago as it was being built JUST so we could have the perfect house for our family. It's really amazing! God was at work in my life 100 years ago, and even before that...The tiniest little things in life could affect someone totally different than yourself years down the road. And it's all because God's hand is in everything! THANK YOU GOD!!!
  I've been decorating my room really nicely...Well, not really nicely as some people would define it, but I love it. I wanted a theme that's like vintage/all-around-the-world...And I think it's working out pretty well. I'll have to take pictures and post them on here...It's really great to have friends that will get as excited about my room as I am...Tayva has been waiting to see pictures of it forever, hehe...
  I've met some friends already, too...
  There's Bethany, who lives 2 houses down from me. She's 14, and really nice. I thought she was a lot more like me than she actually is when we first met, and to tell you the truth, she's not the most uplifting person to be around...But she's fun to hang out with and stuff.
  There's Dustin, who has 6 fingers...Just to clarify what "6 fingers" means, he has half a finger sticking out of the middle joint in his thumb. I told Willy he had six fingers, and he was all disappointed when I later told him they weren't 6 ACTUAL fingers, but rather more of a growth off the other fingers...Hehe...He's 17, and pretty  nice. Everyone says he's too flirty, and immature, but he doesn't really seem like that to me at all. I guess because some of the flirty, immature boys I've met in my life are a lot less mature than Dustin is...
  Matt is Dustin's brother. He's 18, and really nice. He looks younger than his brother...He's just a really sweet guy from what I've seen of him. He does what he says he'll do, he seems pretty mature, and he's nice to new people. (And no, Kameron, I don't have a crush on him).
  Then there's Steven, who's 15 and also really sweet. He's the pastor's son at a church we might be staying at (the church I HOPE we're staying at!). Apparently he's part of some sort of group of teen evangelists or something, which I think is really cool. I think he also said he did some sort of construction work on my new house before my family moved in...
  There are also these people next door who are really sweet...even though they don't always try to be funny, they're just those kind of people that make you laugh just by the things they do...Their names are James and Mandy, and they have 3 cute little blond girls...James has a HUGE movie collection, and he basically has all the popular, newer releases, which is really cool, and he borrows them out freely. We are also big movie fanatics, so sometimes we'll borrow his movies in exchange for lending him a movie he's never seen before, since a lot of times we're not exactly into the mainstream Hollywood stuff.
  He just loaned us Smallville seasons, and I am LOVING that show! It's really neat because since I waited until after they came out on DVD to start watching them, we can watch an episode whenever we want, and we don't have to wait for it to come on TV....it's really cool...I did the same thing with Harry Potter...After all the Harry Potter hype calmed down a little, I started reading the books, and I could just read them one after the other and I didn't have to wait for the older books.
  Speaking of Smallville, Lex Luthor is HOT!!!
  Oh yeah, the other night I went to my first homecoming dance at the local high school. It wasn't exactly the best night of my life, but I had fun. I thought the formal dance we had in WV was a LOT better...10x better, really...One boy wanted to dance with me, and he was pretty cute...but he had Bethany ask me instead of doing it himself, so I thought she was talking about someone else, and ended up having to say REALLY loudly so everyone around me would hear, "I dont' want to dance with ANYONE!" lol I think I scared the poor boy...
  Besides one 80s song I remember at the dance, it was all country and rap...I heard some good music, I guess, and it was adorable to watch all the couples dancing to the country love songs...but I would have liked a little more variety as far as music...
  What else can I say about our new house? I love it. Every morning I wake up, get myself a cup of coffee (usually anyway), go sit on the porch swing and wake up...it's so nice out there.
 
  God  has REALLY blessed us! I love you, guys...

  I'm pretty much on a reading rampage right now. I've decided I love being a bookworm...It's something I love to do. I learn so much by just reading...I love to lay there with a book that I just can't put down and go through it for hours and hours until I've realized I just read 200 pages in one day, hehe...Not to mention it makes me seem intellectual, even though that's not really true...lol
  The 2 books I'm reading right now are both very good.
  Dracula: I've been reading this one on and off for literally months. I've read several books inbetween trying to read it. Like I said, it's a good book, but even though interesting things happen in the book, it's just one of those books that's really interesting, and yet you could put it down any time you want. It's written very very very elegantly...and it's one of those books (for me anyway) where subject changes come so subtly, and yet so quickly that you find yourself going, "Wha...?" and having to reread the end of the last paragraph so you know how much time has passed, and where exactly the characters are.
  The second book I'm reading is one I started today, and can't put down. The Teenage Liberation Handbook: Very good so far. It's about how to really experience life, and really learn things aside from  structured schooling. In other words, it's a book about Unschooling, which I'm sure most of you have heard of. So far it's been talking about the mistake that public schools make...how they'll squash every ounce of creativity in you to make you more well-rounded in things you don't really care about. It shows how when you're not really interested in something, you can't really really learn it. You can memorize facts about the subject enough to ace this test or that test, but you won't really, really learn it, unless you want to. The reason a lot of public school kids don't like to learn even the subjects they love is because they're being forced to do that subject, and in a way that doesn't actually require you to learn it, just to memorize the material. They take things that students love, and make it so that it's bland and boring. The mentality that kids get because of this cycle is a resistance to ALL learning...even self-learning. It makes me wonder if a hatred of learning can even really be reversed once that's been instilled in someone.
  Anyways...great book. Really great, so far. It doesn't come from a Christian perspective, but it is Christian-friendly.

  Okay, I've got to tell you something else...I'm going to Italy! At least I think I am...next year, on a mission trip.
  I'll tell you how it all happened...
  I became interested in learning a language last year. I didn't want to learn Spanish like everyone else, but opted for a more romantic (at least in my mind) language...Italian. I learned that for awhile, and I can translate certain words, but rarely a whole sentence (but I assure you, God-willing, by next year, I'll be speaking the language quite well)...Well, learning the language naturally led to an interest in the actual country of Italy, and the culture. (Especially the food, lol!)
  So I started talking to my friends about going to Italy together once we turn 17 and 18 and stuff...just as a fun trip.
  Alright, now this part is going to seem irrelevant...but on Sunday, God asked me to be off of myspace for a week...something I do every once in awhile to get closer to Him, because if you're on myspace, you know it's addictive...So I got off of myspace on Monday, and instead started using mybattleplan.com , which is a Bible Study site somewhat modeled after myspace. That site really helps me grow in my faith, but when I'm really caught up in myspace, I hardly ever get on it.
  Well, while I was there, the site, which encourages students going on mission trips, and really living their faith, had an advertisement for globalexpeditions.com , which is a site for mission trips teens can go on. I went there (which, as I said, I wouldn't have done had I not obeyed and gotten off myspace) and found the site to be really inspiring...well organized. I wanted to go on a mission trip as soon as I got there, lol...
  But as I said, I really wanted to go to Italy, so I clicked on the link that said, 'Europe-Mixer' under the list of countries you could go to on mission trips. Under Europe-Mixer were two trips...one was Germany/Polland, the other was Italy/France!!! I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited! At first I wasn't sure God wanted me to go on that one, because I had already wanted to go to Italy so badly that I didn't know if it was God's will or if it was just me.
  Long story short, I went outside to pray about it for a long time, asking God to show me His will...and when I came back inside, I had gotten an email DURING the time I was outside from someone saying, "I STRONGLY (capital letters not added) suggest you go on this trip, since Italy was already on your heart." I took that as God's answer. I'm ready to go!!! The only thing I'm waiting for right now is for God to open the door for me to get the money to go...So will you please pray for that? It's one of the more expensive trips...
  I love you guys!

  I'm so happy! We FINALLY got a house!!!
  Not only am I finally going to have some stability, but I'm going to have some stability in a place that I totally love!!!
  It's so weird to think that we're going to be all settled in and happy in a place like we were in WV, and yet it's not going to be WV...I'm going to make friends. Have them over for sleepovers. Hang out, and finally just live day in, day out without the stress of moving...which is so weird, because I've gotten so used to that. I've had the 'Moving Blues' for about a year and a half now...it's become a part of my life...how will I handle normal life? lol
  Anyways...I kind of got off subject. About the house...
  It's over 100 years old. Yellow. Big front porch. Beautiful inside...Almost all wood flooring (except for in my room) and 4 bedrooms, which means I get my own room for the FIRST TIME IN 8 YEARS!!!! YES!!!!!! It's just beautiful in there, too...The kitchen is done up Italian Style...Mom thinks it's pretty but doesn't want to keep it, which is too bad, because I'm sort of obsessed with Italy. I'm going to go there as soon as I can...maybe I can find a mission trip or something...but I'm also learning the language. I love the food, and just...I like Italy! lol...But Mom said she might let me keep the wine bottles as decorations in my room, which is going to have an 'All Around the World' theme...Well, not really a theme, because my room is going to have all kinds of stuff in it, but I want stuff from all over the world. China, France, Italy, maybe even Island countries. Possibly stuff from Africa and stuff. I don't know...I hope it looks cool! If any of you see any bedspreads or decor or ANYTHING you think I might like, email me the links, please?
  Anyways...the house is beautiful. You can go look at pictures on my mom's blog. Her url is homeschoolblogger.com/jewls2texas . It looks like a little Victorian doll house! It even has a porch for a porch swing! YAY!!!
  I'm just so excited to be out of these apartments...Finally, a little privacy...

  These past few days have been pretty active. On Saturday, we went shopping for clothes for the viewing and funeral (I actually already had mine, but mom needed some) then went to Memaw's. Ever notice how when someone dies, people flood in TONS of food of every kind? I haven't been able to stop eating all weekend! That's what we did on Saturday...shop and eat.
  Then yesterday, my mom and I went to Palestine to pick up my Uncle Brent for the Visitation (which is just a more politically correct word for 'the viewing'). My Uncle Brent is an interesting character...He's like my dad except a lot more hyper. He has a lot of strange, but very interesting ideas. Something I admire about him is that he has a definite sense of purpose. Like, you can tell that he knows that we're not just living day in and day out...that there's a purpose to everyone's lives. That we're all designed for a purpose, and that God wants us to use our gifts, and he conveys  this in a way that is not just a cliche' 'God-has-a-plan-for-you' type of Sunday School thing. I really like him...he's a good guy. I even like his strange ways. He's a great artsist, too. He was teaching my sister and I stuff this morning...
  But anyway. Yesterday at the 'Visitation', I wore a nice pink shirt with black dress pants and black high heels. We went to the funeral home, and I was actually in a pretty good mood even after we got inside. There was this huge 'toy boat' thing in a big glass case in the lobby, and I occupied myself by looking at that for awhile.
  Finally, everyone got there, and it was time to go into the Viewing Room. I tried to stay towards the back of the line...partly out of just being polite, but mostly because I knew it would be hard to see Papa again...especially after seeing him die. Somehow that made it harder.
  I saw him in the coffin from across the room. I think Memaw went by it first. Of course, she leaned down in there to kiss him, and started crying, and had to go sit down and just cry for a minute. It was almost enough to make you cry just seeing that.
  When I finally went up and looked in the coffin, it looked nothing like Papa to me...not at all.  Papa has a droopy lip on one side, and his eyes and wrinkles are just so...Papa. There's no way to explain it. But they had him all made up...his eyelids were stretched out over his eyes...no wrinkles. His cheeks were not wrinkled, and his lips were stretched thin and straight. It was not Papa. There was no personality there, and you could tell by looking at the picture of him next to the coffin. It was, literally, the difference between life and death.
  I cried for awhile. My sweet cousin Adrianne was crying hard...I hadn't gotten to know her very well just yet, but she's a sweetheart and I love her. We were both just crying and crying...I collapsed on a couch next  to my cousin Austin, and started crying really hard. I didn't think he'd really know how to handle tears, but I was surprised when suddenly my goofy cousin who hardly ever has anything serious to say started rubbing my back, trying to comfort me. I leaned over and hugged him...He may be an annoying underwear-thieving  freak, but I love him.  He's a good guy.
  My other cousin, Caleb, the gentle giant, was on the other side of Austin, and he started sniffling...he had his head in his hands, trying to keep from crying. He's  also really sweet...He tries to be real funny and stuff, but he's much more gentle than Austin. He knows when to stop hitting people with flip-flops.
  Basically, the rest of the night was me being introduced to people I'd never met before, or even heard of, by people I BARELY knew. I couldn't even tell you the names of the people that were introducing me...
  One funny thing did happen though...if you know me, you know I love babies. Like, a LOT. So every chance I got last night I was holding my cousin Stephanie's baby, Taylor, who's a complete doll. At one point during the night, I saw all these older women just sitting there, kind of doting over Taylor, but not holding her. So I decided to go over and hold Taylor, because I needed a baby fix. I went over and started trying to get Taylor out of her carseat, and one of the women said, "And this must be mommy..." I just looked at her in bewilderment for a minute and said, "Nooooooo...I'm only 15." She then said she was sorry like she insulted me or something...No worries! What teenager doesn't want to look older than they really are? hehe...
  Another thing concerning baby Taylor. While I was holding her, some guy in a brown suit came up and said, gesturing towards the baby, "Gimme that."
  I said, "Nooooooooo!"
  He said, "Why not?"
  I said, "Because I love this baby."
  He said, "Well, I'd give her back."
  I guess he thought I was her mother, too. But seriously, what kind of a person comes up to you and commands you to give them your baby? Come on...I even asked her mother, "Do you know that guy?"
  She said, "No, why?"
  "Well,"  I said. "Because he told me to give him your baby."
  Her eyes got all big...lol.
  Leaving Papa at the funeral home that night was quite a tearjerking experience. I hoep he could feel me touching his hands in heaven...Does God let people in Heaven listen to the sounds of your family and friends mourning for you? Does he let them feel your touch? I hope so...Me, my sister, and a few extended family members got together and sang "Amazing Grace" and "In the Garden" and put it on a tape. I hope God is playing it for him in Heaven...
  I didn't like touching Papa at all. I did it for the sake of loving him, but he felt like plastic. He did not feel like a person.
  This morning, I ate breakfast, messed around, listening to Uncle Brent, learned some stuff about drawing, then went to go get ready. I put on this pretty dark red dress I got, did my makeup, let mom do my hair, and then we went to the bank, Kmart, and the funeral.
  We went in through a 'family reception' entrance and into the sanctuary. We sat in a special little area sectioned off for family. My Uncle Bruce (Adrianne, Caleb,  and Austin's dad) spoke  a little bit about him. To Papa, Uncle Bruce was just like a son, and Papa specifically asked that he speak at his funeral. I think Uncle Bruce did a good job, but there's just no way you can make it personal enough by talking about memories you had with a person. You have to experience them. I'm glad I got to with  Papa.
  A preacher also spoke about Heaven and stuff...it was an okay message, but I just don't like hearing from a preacher that didn't know the person. I like funerals and stuff to be personal...
  I saw Papa one last time, and I cried again. We went back into the Family Reception Room. Adrianne was crying really hard again, too. She came up and hugged me. I love her...she's a real sweet person.
  When we left the funeral home on the way to the cemetery (which my great grandfather was the 'Founding  Father' of, having been a preacher) everyone stopped their cars for the funeral procession.
  The actual burial was boring. I don't mean to be disrespectful or anything, but it was. It wasn't even a real burial. They didn't bury him until after we were gone. One interesting thing that happened is that when we got to the burial site, it started drizzling...like God was crying for us. It rained the whole time the preacher spoke, then stopped when he stopped. It started again after awhile.
  Also, I just thought I'd note that I have another ADORABLE baby cousin named Gracie. She has these HUMONGOUS blue eyes and an open mouth all the time...She likes to be cuddled, she likes to wrap her hand around your finger, and she likes to laugh. She's just what a baby should be.
  Other than that, I guess I'll say I ate too much today. WAY too much. As I have everyday since Friday.
  Since Papa died, I've been thinking a lot about Heaven. My whole extended family has, actually. We've speculated and speculated about what Papa must be doing or saying right now. My Aunt Sylvia says he's probably saying, "Man, y'all oughtter see this place!" My Memaw (Papa's wife) says he's probably saying, "Myrtice, why haven't you done your hair today?" lol...I don't know what he's saying, but I just can't wait until I go to Heaven and get to hug him and kiss him on the cheek again...I know that won't be anything compared to meeting Jesus for the first time, but I can't wait to see Papa again.
  I'm so glad I have the hope of Heaven...
  I LOVE YOU PAPA!!! I can't WAIT to see you again...*XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX*

Hey guys.

  My Papa passed away yesterday morning.

   Thank you all so much for your prayers...you are really great friends for being able to encourage me by praying.

   I am sad, but also very very relieved, and happy that he's out of his suffering...that it's over now and there will be no more watching him suffer and struggle for the right words. 

  I'm also really happy because I know that while he was alive, he was proud of me, and we started really loving each other while he was still alive. I got to hear some good lectures on everything dating-related while he could still talk well, lol...Man, I heard that so many times. Even in his last days, he was trying his best to find the words to lecture me about dating the right guys.

   I was in the room when he died, I believe. I had stayed the night with Memaw, and I was sitting in the living room and heard a rattling type noise he was making, and thought it would be a good idea to go check on him. When I got by his bed (which they had in the dining room) his chest wasn't moving, his eyes were a tiny bit open, and he had a tear on his cheek...hopefully because he was seeing Heaven just a little bit before he actually died. I was scared when I first saw this, because I 'knew' he was dead, but I wasn't certain, if that makes any sense. 

  I asked Memaw when she came back into the room, "Is he breathing?" and she started shaking him to try to wake him up. She acted exasperated and almost irritated that she couldn't wake him up at first, but I knew we both knew he was gone. Suddenly she just broke down. It was very, very sad. 

  That's the thing I would have you guys pray for now. My family and I are pretty sad, but Memaw is heartbroken. I don't know to what degree she's expressing it, but she cries every once in awhile. She does laugh and stuff, but sometimes when it comes back to memories she had with Papa or someone talks about it, she'll start getting teary-eyed.

   For some reason I'm not too sad. All yesterday I guess I was in shock, and today it hit me a little harder that he's really gone, but I just can't be sad for him, because I know he's home now, for the first time, and he's having a better time than he ever had ANY time in his entire life on earth. He's meeting Jesus...he's with his parents again, he's with 2 of his brothers again, and my cousin Adrianne's baby Ashton. I can only imagine all the beautiful things he's seeing and feeling right now...I wonder if he can see us from where he is. 

  I haven't been reading my Bible or spending time with God much lately, but ever since Papa died, I've felt Him especially close...like He's staying with all of us to watch us...comfort us. Let us know He's there. Almost like He's babysitting, hehe...It's kind of like God came to get Papa and He decided to stay behind with us for a little while to ease our pain.

   People seem to think I've had a traumatic experience seeing someone die at my age, and I don't know...it's possible that it was, sort of, but I feel like it's pretty natural. I felt death heavy in the air the night before he 'went home', and it was sad, and strange in the sense that I was experiencing something I wasn't familiar with, but it was not dark, or sinister. It was natural. Death is just passing from one life into another. Some may pass more traumatically than others, and depending on whether or not you accepted Christ in this life, you may not be going to a better place, but it's still natural. 

  It's hard to express my feelings right now.  I'm eager for Heaven. Maybe even a tiny little bit jealous...Sad, but not for Papa...just for missing him, and seeing Memaw hurt. 

  I also feel a peace about the tear on Papa's cheek. I'd like to think it was a tear of joy on His face...He was passing into Heaven. I know He was. He loved God, even when he was so muddled he couldn't put a name to Him. He'd say, "You know, that...man..." and point up towards the ceiling. I love Papa, and I'm so happy that He's out of his suffering. He's able to chat anyone up now! He hasn't been able to do that for months... 

  This week I've been thinking a lot about growing up.
  I'm going to try to explain this as best I can, but in fact, all the things I'm going to put down are scattered and out of place and only really make sense in my mind. One of those deep thoughts that's kind of hard to explain.
  I was in a college town the other day, eating out. We were waiting for my grandparents to get there, just sitting there in our car. So I watched the people going in and out of the restaurant. They were college students. And they were all just a couple years older than me.
  Once a family friend told me, "I may be 46, but I feel as if I'm still just your age." I told some other adults about this, asking them if it was true, expecting some of them to say something slightly haughty, like, 'Oh no...I do feel different. You're changing all the time.' But no one I've talked to disagreed. They said that it was totally true. That you may acquire more knowledge, but your soul never really changes.
  I have experienced this a little bit myself, to some degree...because I still feel the same as when I was 8, and I'm 15 now. You adults/old people (just kidding!) may think that that's not really a big deal. So what? I'm only 15. But let me explain what I'm thinking about all this.
  I will be a technical adult in 3 years. I could be going to college that soon. Now, I've always considered growing up...being an adult...the ultimate goal of my life. It's all about my future...what I'm going to be when I 'grow up', you know? Therefore I've never really felt grown up, because I always see it in the future, not part of what's happening to me now. So I haven't really been preparing myself. I still see it as a long way off. But I'm going to be an adult in 3 years! I don't feel really ready to live on my own right now, and if my soul never changes, who's to say I'll feel ready then?
  It just feels so weird to me. My friends are getting drivers licenses and jobs. I'll find myself in conversations with my friends about what college they want to go to...Realistic conversations. One of my best friends was telling me the other day that she wants to go to Harvard, and that you don't have to pay as much to get in if you were involved in a lot of community service during High School, so she's organizing a walk for a good cause in the fall, I believe. She's actually got a plan for what she wants to do, because she knows we're growing up. We're growing up soon. We're growing up right now, actually.
  Anyway...I don't know what to say. In spite of the depressing way I've written this, I'm actually sort of excited. I have realized that I need to start preparing myself, though. Wow. It's really happening.

fave movie? I have lots! I've been seeing lots of movies lately...I love movies...
fave show? Honestly, I like Seinfeld, Roseanne, American Idol, and CSI. I mean, I'm not a HUGE TV person, but when I watch TV I like those kinds of things.
would you rather have chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate candy, vanilla ice cream.
fave friend on blog? I'll never tell...
fave song? No idea. I love music, too.
fave subject? No idea. Whatever is interesting to me at the time. I like learning about genetics, and just plain old reading.
fave animal? I like lots of different kinds of animals, but generally I just say 'dogs'.
fave food? Italian...yum!
fave color? Pink, purple, black, white.
what is on your mousepad? I don't have a mousepad right now, actually.
reach out your right arm what do you touch? air
open the book closest to you turn to page 25 then read line 7 what is it about? 'Then the man bowed down and worshipped the Lord'
are you getting bored yet? I don't know. Not really.
what 3 people will you tag?  Tayva, Brenna, and Kaitlyn.

 

What is your favorite color? I already answered this, didn't I?
What is your favorite girls name? Hmm...Gimme a minute...The one on the top of my head is Isolde...IF you say it right. It's so beautiful!
What is your favorite boys name? I like Paul, Samuel, Benjamin, Bible names like that.
What is your favorite letter to write? L...No, K.
What is your favorite number? 7
What time to you go to bed? Late.
What time do you get up in the morning? Um...Usually up by 9.
What is your favorite food? I like pizza...but I mean, Italian food as a general rule.
Do you like getting tagged? Yes...fun fun fun!
What is your favorite animal? I answered this already...
What is your favorite flower? Either daffodils or roses.
What is your favorite game? I like different card games and stuff.
What is the book you are reading right now? Ugh...I'm supposedly reading Dracula.
What was the last movie you watched? Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire...one of my FAVORITES!!!
DO you like to play outside or inside better? Depends. Usually outside.
What is your favorite drink? Water.
What is your favorite bird? Colorful ones.
How many nieghbors do you have? About 5 million...I'm living in an apartment complex right now, so I'm around 'neighbors' all the time.
What is your favorite kind of cookies? Chocolate chip.
What is your favorite sport? To watch, ice skating. To play, soccer.
what do you want for christmas? It's July.

  Guess I just thought it was time for me to update.
  It seems there is so much to share, and yet I have nothing.
  I went to my cousin's house for a couple of days...it was a lot of fun! He is so hyper...I guess he's just the kind of person that is just himself 100% of the time.
  I guess I'll just share some of my experiences there.
  It's funny to watch my cousin sleep...something I got to do a couple of times while staying at his house. He's pretty tall, and sleeps with his long legs sticking out from under the blanket, and his head completely covered up by it.
  My sister was sick the first night, and threw up on Austin's bed. My uncle was up and walking around, so when I went out to tell him what had happened, Austin sat straight up really fast, looked at me with squinted eyes, then flung himself back down on the couch (where he slept while we were there) and covered his head up with the blanket.
  This morning when my sister and I got up, we went out to the living room where Austin was sleeping in the same position again. Head covered up, feet in the air, toes twitching slightly. We laughed and woke him up...He uncovered his head, squinted at us, then put his head back down. When we continued to laugh at him, he said, "Mommy, they're being mean to me! They woke me up!" Lol...I was cracking up!
  Later on, apparently Aunt Vonda had washed my undies (and I didn't know it). Austin found them in the clean clothes pile somehow, picked them up, and found out that they were mine.
  He smiled a mischevious smile when he figured this out, then ran with them outside, running down the street with them.
  Picture this...My cousin running with a pair of girl's underwear in his hands, me in my pjs still, barefooted, screaming, "You bring my underwear back!" lol
  He told me he had thrown them up in a tree somewhere and they were stuck, but he had really just hung them on the mirror on the side of my Uncle's car!
  Oh yeah...He asked my sister, "Are you claustrophobic?" and proceeded to throw a blanket over her head and hold it there while she screamed, "Austin, get it off me!" lol...
  We watched, 'Fun with Dick and Jane' on pay per view the first night...It was fun, but we paused the movie and took a thirty minute break to play hackie-sack with a package of Ramen noodle soup and torture Aunt Vonda's cats. (I forgot to tell you about Caleb...he's awesome too...and funny...he also played hackie-sack with me, Austin, and Kaitlyn).
  Kaitlyn, Uncle Bruce and I played a lot of educational games while we were there, like Scrabble,and Balderdash. Austin wanted nothing to do with them. "I'm not good at WOOOOOOORDS..." he whined.
  Did I mention that he's very into a site called Runescape (which is one of the most dumb, and yet addicting things ever). He and Caleb talked all the time in Runescape language...
  Caleb: What level are you on now, Austin?
  Austin: 75...you?
  Caleb: 48.
  Austin: You're such a noob.
  I didn't understand what they were saying half the time, lol!
  Hmm...what else happened? Oh yeah, the dog was hysterical. She kept showing her teeth to Uncle Bruce whenever he talked to her. She looked mean, but she didn't do anything except show her teeth...not even growl. She also howled if you started howling. It was very funny. Her name was "Purtty" and she was adorable!
  I also got to meet Adrienne again. She's really sweet...she was the one who taught us to make Purtty howl, lol...
  I also love Uncle Bruce and Aunt Vonda. They're both so sweet, and we had a lot of fun with them...
  Love you guys, if you're reading this (which I doubt, but oh well)...thanks for having us over...
  Kendra

  PS - Adrienne also told us about Austin shooting a squirrel in the ear...it has a hole in its ear, and it still comes back for food...

  Okay, my aunt and uncle just had their first baby last night. His name is Maverick. His parents both have VERY blond hair and blue eyes...I wonder what kind of complexion this kid is going to have? lol...
  Anyways, the reason I'm telling you about this is that imagining a cute little blond headed baby with blue eyes has put me in a serious baby mood, and I thought I'd type up a blog entry about reasons that I love babies.

1. They have such soft skin, and chubby cheeks.

2. They have the most ADORABLE smiles! All you have to do is smile at them really big, and they'll try to imitate you...only it's really awkward for them, because they haven't yet perfected the art of smiling...it's all lopsided and backwards, yet so genuine. It's adorable.

3. Their laughs are contagious...they're the same as a smile. They're not really good at it yet, so it sounds like a low "Huh! Huh!" in their throat or a really high-pitched sound...it's alright though...it's still the best thing in the world to hear a baby giggle.

4. You can act like an idiot in front of them. Something in them makes your voice get a little higher...you act a little crazy around them, but they love it.

5. You can kiss them even if you just met them that day.

6. They have the most adorable clothes...onesies, little corduroy overalls, hats, frilly pink dresses only a little baby girl could pull off...you just want to eat them up!

7. They're totally trusting.
 
8. Even if you have the most terrible singing voice, you can sing them to sleep.

9. They're just tiny! Tiny little hands, little feet...their feet are smaller than your thumb. The bottoms of their feet are all soft, and their hands are too.

10. You can just sit there and imagine what they'll be like when they get older. They're tiny little human beings with actual lives...and they're only going to get more interesting as they get older...hopefully, lol...

11. They cry, and you can just hold them. They're someone you can actually comfort just by being there.

12. Their hair is all soft and fluffy...like a baby chick's feathers...

  I love SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many things about babies....I don't think I can name them all. But these are a few of them.

  I was just thinking as I typed all these out...especially the one about them having actual lives, and real personalities...this is why abortion stinks so much. They're beautiful, little people.

  I need a little prayer.
  I had a really good relationship with God for about a week recently...I was in deeper with Him than I'd ever been. I was always happy and joyful, and I felt how much He loved me, and it was just great. Now I just feel blah. Compared to how I felt before, I just want that back. I'm trying to persevere and at least not stop reading my Bible and praying, but I just feel dry. Please pray for me.

  Please don't call me fickle...I'm really not in this area. If I really like someone, I wouldn't stop liking them. But I never told Caleb I liked him, so it's alright for me to change my mind now.
  He has a girlfriend...or at least he was telling me about making out with this girl, which doesn't bother me, but I already told myself I wouldn't like a guy that had a girlfiriend, and I like this girl. She's pretty nice.
  So basically, the point of this blog entry is a retraction. I don't like Caleb anymore.

  I finally went to a youth group meeting last night for the first time in (what seems like) forever!
  We didn't actually do any Bible Study or anything, because last night they were playing a game called 'Bigger and Better', where groups go out into the community with a penny and ask people to give them something bigger and better in exchange for that thing, and once you get something for the penny, you take that thing somewhere else and trade it in for something bigger and better than THAT item. When you're all done, you take it back to the church where they decide which one is biggest and best, then the team that won gets a prize.
  It was rather interesting...I met lots of nice and outgoing kids...one girl in particular was really sweet and talked to me and my sister all night. Her name was Shelby and she was 15 like me (going on 16 in November).
  Then this morning, with the same group, we went laser-tagging, which was awesome...it didn't have as many cool features as the laser-tag places back there, but I really enjoyed it.
  Now this is where the title comes in...
  Because I live 1,600 miles away now, I can talk about any cute guy I want to, and you guys won't know who he is, so you can't make fun of me, and I don't run the risk of you guys telling him!
  This guy who wasn't at youth group for some reason last night started talking to me and my sister. He's 16, and his name is Caleb...He was SOOOOOO cute! He wasn't drop-dead-movie-star-gorgeous, but once I started talking to him, he made this hilarious joke...I told him how most people had told me Lufkin was a boring place, and he said, "Most people here are rednecks...you know, just people who sit around all day shooting things. They've never been anywhere outside of Lufkin, so they just say it's boring. They don't have any money to travel, and even if they did, they'd just use it to buy more guns!"
  I chuckled at that a little bit at first, then started cracking up when I thought about it a little more. While I was laughing, I got that feeling that I always have with a guy I start to like...this really fast, really certain feeling that I just know I like them. Maybe I should give it more time before I decide that...I think he might have a girlfriend, and if so I won't try to interfere, but yeah.
  Okay...he has a REALLY great voice. He started singing today. He's the youth worship leader, and part of a band called The Only One...he's a guitarist, and pianist, and he likes Blindside and Flyleaf, just like me. When he heard I also liked them, he pretty much freaked out, lol...He also likes RelientK...I like some of their music, but most of it's really weird.
  Anyways...yeah. I think I may have a crush, hehe!

  PS - He's also homeschooled!

  Thank you guys for your prayers...I have actually been doing quite a bit better since we moved into our apartment. It's not home yet, and I still freak out a little bit sometimes because I feel like I'm living in a stranger's house a lot of the time, but at least I'm not living in a hotel room! I've been feeling much better. Thanks guys! God is so faithful...never refrain from praying about anything!
 
  Speaking of God, the main reason I am posting today is because I wanted to share a picture, and a story with you.
  On the day we left, we were at Brenna's house. Everyone was crying as it started to rain just before we left. "Look," Brenna's mom, Ms. Carol said. "It's raining...that means God is crying..." she started laughing at herself while crying a little harder at the same time.
  I managed to maintain some of my composure until we got in the car and started driving off. I watched Brenna waving wildly and sobbing as we left. Then I lost it. I started sobbing. I kept sobbing and sobbing (along with my mom and sister...dad and kullen were in the moving truck), and I called a few of my friends. After awhile I decided I wanted to go sit in the backseat with my sister and watch a movie. So I said goodbye to my friend and moved to the back. I got settled there, started thinking about my friends, and was on the verge of more tears when my mom, sister and I all looked out the window at the same time and saw the most beautiful rainbow ever in the sky!

  I have so much to put on here...a lot of great things have happened to me since I got down here. I love it so much, and God has kept me safe through all of this...I love Him so much.
  The reason I am blogging right now, though, is because I am actually having a pretty difficult time of all of this. I miss everyone so much...I keep thinking I see people from West Virginia. I've seen about 2 or 3 families I 'know' so far, and I keep forgetting that I'm miles and miles away. I hate living in a hotel, and we will be moving into an 'efficiency apartment' soon. I hate that. I just want to have my own house to go back to...I want friends, and most of all I want stability. I know good things come according to God's timing, and that He may provide these things, but it's still hard.
  I think the icing on the cake is watching Papa get even worse than he was last time he came. It's really heartbreaking. The other day, I saw him just sitting out on a plastic chair in the carport, rubbing his head and leaning down like he couldn't remember where he was. It's heartbreaking to watch, and I'm sad that I couldn't grow to be really close to him.
  Anyways...my time is limited, so I just want to ask for prayers...PLEASE really, really pray...I try to pray, but I can't stay focused. Of course, I will...I just need your prayers backing me up. Tayva and Kameron, please ask for prayer at the Bridge.
  Bye guys...love you.

  I can't tell what kind of mood I am in, and whether it is good or bad. I think it's mostly bad.

  As you probably know, I am moving...actually, today, although I will say tomorrow  because it's only 1 o'clock in the morning.

  Texas awaits me...Now, I must say, I love Texas, and I have awesome cousins and all kinds of family there...the guys are sweeter, the food is better, and the people are nicer...even the houses are cheaper. But I'm going to miss my friends SO FRICKIN' MUCH!!!

  Today was a strange day for me. I got up. One of my best girlfriends and my (most trusted, and safe) guy friend, Willy, had stayed the night the night before. He had to go to work early the next morning, so his mom picked him up while I was still 3/4s asleep, and my girlfriend and I slept for 2 more hours or so.

  When we finally awoke, I walked aimlessly around the house, doing little jobs my mom gave me to get ready to move. Tayva was actually the one to give me the  most direction about what to do, seeing as I was so disoriented I could hardly think for myself.

  A bit later on, I threw on some strange clothes, and hopped in the car with my  mom, The Tinas, and Tayva. We dropped Tayva off at Mountain View Diner to be picked up by her parents, then went to Taco Bell and a few other places to do some light grocery shopping...The adults were about to go pick up a prescription or something when one of them suggested I go to Willy's work (he works at a coffee shop) and hang out for a few minutes. Seeing as the alternative was to stand around a drugstore, and I wanted to spend as much time with my friends as I could, I opted for the coffee shop.

  I ordered a Chai Smoothie, made by Willy himself, and got introduced to some of his coworkers. They were all really nice. Apparently his boss has no flaws as well, lol...I envy him.

  Anyways. When he got off work and our moms came to pick us up, they took us back to my house for a little while. The time I spent there was spent loading up the truck, hanging out and laughing with some of my close guy friends. It was around that time that I figured out that once I left for Brenna's house and stayed the night, I wasn't going back to my house...that was going to be the last time I saw it. So my sister and I went through the rooms and said goodbye...naming memories that happened in each of them. I was nearly in tears by the time we got out...then I hugged my friends, and when I got in the car with Brenna's mom (Ms. Carol) I was just sobbing my EYES OUT!!!

  Kaitlyn, Kullen and I sobbed all the way back to Brenna's house, and could barely stop ourselves, even as Ms. Carol tried to make light conversation to take our minds off of anything depressing.

  When we arrived, we reminisced, received gifts, looked through scrapbooks, and ate REALLY good food.

  After all of that, we left for youth group at the Bridge. The lesson really helped me deal with some 'prejudices' I have towards Mexicans. I don't think all Hispanic people are evil, or nasty, or anything like that...It's just hard for me because of past experiences to look at a Hispanic male without a red flag going up in my head. I try not to let it happen, because I know it's a prejudice, and tonight's lesson dealt with that.

  After class, I hugged some of the friends I'd made at the Bridge, and we left for DQ, where we spent an hour or so hanging out and saying our last goodbyes, then we came back to Brenna's house, and we just finished watching 'Mean Girls'.

 

  But anyway. Something that I learned today is that it's always hard to see the beginning of something beautiful when you're coming to the end of a great phase of your life...but God is the only one who knows. He's the Master Artist, and the only one with the ability to create something beautiful out of my life, and I may as well get used to changes while I'm still young, because while God is in control, my life is NEVER going to be predictable!

  Yay!!! I'm finally back...
  Sorry, I know it's been FOREVER...I got a myspace, and it's really cool, and a great way to keep in touch with friends who have one, but of course, I have been  neglecting homeschoolblogger, and I like homeschoolblogger...and EVERYONE can look at homeschoolblogger, not just myspacers...so, yeah. Here I am.
 
  Last Friday night I went to a Formal Dance thingy with a youth group I go to at a friend's house. It was so FANTASTICAL! All the girls looked so gorgeous in their dresses, and the guys looked okay, too...lol
  Here are some pictures...

  Here's me before the dance...I'm at my house.

  My sister and I kissing Kullen...lol doesn't he look overjoyed?

Left to Right: Jess, Kaitlyn, Brenna, Tayva, Me, and Rachel. Don't ask me WHAT kind of face I am making in this picture, I have no idea....

  I danced with just about every guy there, lol...it was so much fun! It took some work to get Justin on the dance floor, but he is a pretty good dancer.

  Here's my beautiful friend, Brenna...

  My sister and I.

  Me and E-MY-LIE...I'm going to miss her...

  I love this picture! (It's of Tayva and I)

  As you may know, we're leaving for Texas in 2 days. On the night of the formal, Ms. Jeanette decided it would be a good idea to play a really sad song about friends separating at the formal, and dedicate it to my family...NOT  a good idea! EVERYONE was bawling, but me worst of all. I just cried and cried...they didn't even wait until pictures were done bei ng taken. So here is the group picture we had. I'm in the middle section to the right. You'll notice that mine and Tayva's faces are all red...as are probably a lot of other people's.

  We did manage to muster up smiles for the picture, though.