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Jul. 17, 2008
A wedding
Things have been pretty busy around here for me and even though I've had a lot of great "blog material" there has just not been much time for blogging it! However I want to change that.
For the next few posts I want to share some cultural events I've participated in with our Quechua friends. The first took place at the end of last month....a wedding!
I believe I shared HERE that we were sponsors for a young Quechua man for his graduation in December. Sadly, as is the case with many Quechua young people, he and his girlfriend were sleeping together and in Jan. or so he shared with us that she was pregnant. Shane began spending time talking with them whenever he could about what it means to really love and care for someone. The young man was under a lot of peer pressure to not marry his girlfriend and made fun of him just for thinking of it. Her parents were also a bit resistant to the idea of them getting married. However, he seemed like he really loved her and was concerned about her and their baby. He went away for a few months to work with his Dad and some other friends harvesting coffee and when he came back at the beginning of June her parents were more willing that they should get married and they began to talk and plan towards a wedding.
Just 1 1/2 weeks before the wedding he came to us with his brother and they told us that since we are his sponsors that we both needed to be at the wedding. (Just Shane was planning to be there) It was then we realized they were not asking us to be sponsors but just assuming we were. That was something to get used to! But for some reason the Lord allowed us to be agreeable to the idea and not hesitate so we plunged in to help them make wedding plans. Looking back we can see that if it would have been up to us we would have said no, but God did not let us say no and in addition he arranged the rest of our money we had left for the month to be just EXACTLY what we needed to pay for things for the wedding and our own expenses.
So we went up with a rented wedding dress (something they tend to do here and it works out well!), Shane, Heidi and I. We arrived right around 5pm. At the door of the groom's home there was an archway of flowers pinned over the doorway. In their small front room were all of the bride and groom's families! They had just finished a meal which the ladies of the groom's family had made for them. As is proper in Quechua culture, we began greeting everyone with a handshake. We first greeted the bride and groom and their parents who then started introducing us to all the family members in the room. When that was done we went up into the little kitchen where all the groom's sisters were along with his mom and grandma and aunt. They fed us a large meal of soup, "mote" (hominy), baked pork and baked potatoes. When we were done they gave us an extra portion of food to take home with us. We said thank you and the response in Quechua for "your welcome" translates as: "even though it was a little". Ha! A little??
 
As we were eating it became evident that the bride and bridesmaids (6 of them!!) all needed their hair done. The groom's sister-in-law (who was basically coordinating the wedding) along with the groom's sister and I went down the street to where we were staying to start braiding hair. Thankfully it was straightforward enough that I could help some. Then I quickly got ready in order to be at the right place at the right time to do all the things expected of me as "madrina" or the new "co-parent" to the bride and groom.
That first involved being at the church for the first ceremony....the civil ceremony. The bride wore a more simple dress for that and it involved Shane and I sitting up in the front with the bride and groom before the Mayor and his secretary at a table.
One of the elders of the church greeted everyone and prayed and then handed it over to the Mayor who also greeted everyone and explained how things would go. Then the secretary read a couple of papers that were REALLY boring to listen to. Lots of legal jargon and the jist was that this document says there is no reason they cannot be married, yada yada. Then the bride and groom, Shane and I each signed and fingerprinted the papers and there was an exchange of "I do" and "I accept" between the bride and groom and then they were pronounced man and wife and told they could kiss. The groom just gave the bride a peck since it was quite embarrassing for them to do something like that in a culture where husbands and wifes do not show much affection in public and men and women only shake hands.
We and some of the family members then filed out and went down to the bride's home to get her dressed in her wedding dress so we could return to the church for the church ceremony. This whole time the church was packed with friends and family. I think the one man led them all in some songs while we were gone.
Then the church wedding began.
The bridesmaids and groomsman all went in together in couples. Doing a sort of dance thing and ended up standing on either side of the aisle with flowers held up like a walkway for everyone to walk through. (Shane had a hard time going through that will all those short people!)
First the parents went in and sat down, then the flower girl came through with rose petals along with the ring bearer, then I escorted the groom to the front (with Heidi's help).
Then Shane escorted the bride in. Traditionally in this area it is the "padrinos" (sponsors or co-parents) who escort the bride and groom and not the parents like we are used to in the U.S.
The ceremony was much like we are used to in the U.S. in most churches.
 They exchanged rings and "I do"s.
However instead of a "unity candle" lighting, they did a "unity cup" pouring.
Each poured some pop into one cup and that symbolized the two becoming one.
Afterwards we all stayed where we were and enjoyed some finger foods and pop instead of cake. It worked out best with the number of people there!
After the bride and groom each threw the bouquet and the new "couple" was made to be part of a rather long joke!
Since there was a "couple" and all the people were there and we were in the church they asked for a volunteer couple to be the sponsors (that is the couple directly behind the "bride and groom"....notice they each have a bouquet of flowers! :) ) . Since no one offered to be pastor the lady in the white and purple shirt decided to officiate. :) She started out by greeting everyone and then asked if there was any reason why this couple should not be married? A hand was raised...come to find out it was the guy who almost caught the bouquet! :) He came forward and with a serious face said that he'd seen this couple around and knows that they each have a different girlfriend or boyfriend so they must not really love each other and therefore should not get married! As soon as he finished saying his piece he burst into a huge grin!
There he is in the red tie above. So the wedding was called off and I must say that was the longest joke I'd ever seen and we were really wondering how it would end!
Lots of pictures were taken. The families really enjoyed getting pictures taken with the couple.
The following day we enjoyed breakfast and fellowship with the groom's family and a huge lunch with the bride's family. We found out that the newlyweds had to wake up early and go to all of their relatives houses to visit them. (and most likely were made to eat a little something at each place)
Just last week these newlyweds had their baby! More on that in the next post. |
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Posted by Anonymous 
Jul. 17, 2008 - Untitled Comment
What fun to tease the "new couple".