What happened on the 4th.
His codename was Alpha-Bravo-Delta, and he was destined to become an unsung hero.
Alpha was packed tightly into a pasteboard tube at a factory in China. He really wanted to hang around for a few more weeks so he could go to the Beijing Olympics, but when Headquarters gives orders, they are not to be ignored.
So, in he went, along with some other stuff like gunpowder, some wads of paper, etc. And of course, his trusty Parachute. He rode for weeks on the choppy Pacific ocean in a cargo ship, then for weeks on bumpy interstate highways in a semi-trailer until finally he stopped, and he waited there in the dark tube, hoping beyond hope that he could get out as soon as possible so he could make it to his buddies' 4th of July celebration.
Little did he know, that he was headed for the most explosive of ALL 4th of July celebrations, and that he was to be part of the entertainment. Feeling that the tube was moving, he sensed that it was almost time to fulfill his destiny (whatever that was, he wasn't sure). He began to wonder if he was really cut out to be a paratrooper. Could he live up to his noble title of Alpha-Bravo-Delta, Defender of Justice, Friend of the Helpless? Or would he disgrace his fireworks manufacturer (Headquarters) and disappoint everyone watching by not working correctly?
But, he had little time to worry, for at that moment with an incredible explosion, he rocketed into the sky, and there, for one minute, he knew what he was made for. His parachute opened perfectly, he sailed through the air with the wind in his face, and all that was within him screamed: "I AM A PARACHUTE MAN!!" And then with a jolt, he was tangled in a powerline, and, well, I leave it to you dear reader, to decide the ultimate fate of our brave hero, Alpha.
But whatever you decide, remember that behind every ear-pounding explosion, every rocket's red glare, behind every starburst of sparks, there are little Parachute men who give their all for your happiness. Happy Landing, Alpha.
---misterbingley 
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