Aug. 28, 2007 - Just a Matter of Time
When I saw the following teaser this morning, my heart began to race:
Measuring America’s Waistline
Which state was ranked fattest in U.S., with more than 30 percent of its adult residents already considered obese?
I thought, “Finally! We Hoosiers will be recognized for something besides basketball and monster truck rallies. At last, we are ranked number one! For too many years we’ve toiled at the Chinese buffet, struggling to balance half our weight in General Tso’s Chicken on one plate, while stacking Crab Rangoons like a house of deep fried cards on another. For too many years we’ve ranked low in areas in which other states excel, and our collective self-esteem has wilted like so much iceberg lettuce, long abandoned on the salad bar of the local Pizza Shack. But no more! Now we can puff out our chests---maybe even further than our bellies---with pride and say, “We’re number one! Hey, you gonna eat that?”
Then I clicked on the link and what did I see? Why, it’s not Indiana, but Mississippi that is the fattest state in the nation. Curse you, Moon Pies! If only we could have made ourselves eat those marshmallow hockey pucks!
There is hope for us yet, however, as Mississippi is instituting measures in its schools to stem the tide of rising obesity. One of the things they’re doing is dictating what items are allowed in vending machines. Things like yogurt, sliced fruit and granola bars are okay, while fried pork rinds and Moon Pies are banned. Yeah, that’s right Mississippi, keep looking over your shoulder, because we’re comin’ after you. Without those Moon Pies, you’re doomed!
Of course, the State Superintendent laments that there’s only so much they can do, but he hopes students will take home the healthful habits they learn at school. You know, he may be on to something. I remember back when I was in school, I’d often race home and beg my mom to make food just like they served at the cafeteria. “Mom, pleeease make stinky, overcooked spinach for supper!” I’d whine. Or sometimes I’d say, “Why do we have to have MEAT in our hamburgers?! That’s not how they make them at school!”
The plan is pure genius, I tell you.
I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before Mississippi is a state full of apple and granola eating fitties, and the Hoosier State can claim its rightful place at the top of the food pyramid.
Comments
Aug. 28, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by sunydazy
Oh so funny!
I thought you were going to say that Texas or Washington State were the winners...I grew up in Texas and my hubby grew up in Washington...:-)
Great post!
Aug. 30, 2007 - Don't say it!
Posted by Candy Rant
Never even SPEAK the words "Moon Pies are banned."
Sep. 1, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Chris
it is MI? wow yeah i would have thought it was IL....some ppl beep when they back up on lake shore drive lol
and hey thanx for the add!
