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I am a big LOSER, I know! I was all hopped up and ready to go in September and yes, dear sil, you called it...you knew I was going to bail. You were nice enough not to say it in those words, but your meaning was the same. Three different new people have looked and commented on my blog this week and I feel obligated to update and get back on the "Reflective Wagon". I do love it once I sit down and make the time to do it. So sorry if you have been checking my blog for updates and you have felt the sting of disappointment. I will try to do better. I had forgotten that I had the link attached to my email. I was filled with delusions of grandure when I did that...assuming that I would finally become the diligent woman I was meant to become. One of the loftiest, yet completely bogus, things that people say when they find out that I have 5 children and I homeschool is, "You must be so busy and have no time." The sad truth is I have plenty of time and will find time to be lazy and do whatever I want, sometimes the choices not being the best choices. I am not saying that we can't have down time or time to do the things we enjoy. I just tend to go towards things that are not edifying, that have no eternal-value, that produce no fruit in my life. I just want to "veg-out", "tune-out, "zone-out" and not have to think about anything. Is this wrong? Maybe not always, but for me it is a conviction. I am convicted that it is wrong when I spend a healthy (or unhealthy, as the case may be) portion of time trying to escape this life. There is so much I am missing out on. If I have the right attitude and depend upon the Spirit of God to give me strength and let Him demonstrate His fruit in my life....oh, the things we could accomplish....the dreams we could dream....the time of blessing I would have with my family and the people in my life. I know there is more that God wants to have me experience if I would just yield and deny myself and my selfish tendencies. How much more at peace and contented I would find myself! The freedom I would experience by resting in His will for my life and my family! JOY! "Joy to the world, the Lord has come!" He has come. He is Truth! He has come to free me from the burden of sin and from the misery of this world. I know this joy and have experienced it deeply. Why do I choose to bind myself back up in the sin and misery when the joy and freedom are already mine? God of the universe became flesh and dwelt among us (Emmanuel, aka, Jesus). Two thousand years ago, in a dirty, smelly barn...God of eternity stepped down from glory and became a slimey, wrinkled newborn and our Salvation was born. Our faith is crazy...but we also know it is absolutely true! So...that was a journey of thought...it may not be completely cohesive in this blog, but in my heart I know what I am learning and it is good. The past is the past. God's mercies are new every morning and my sin has been cast away as far as the east is from the west. I am free! This moment is new and I am thankful for it. Believe it or not, this ramble has everything to do with homeschooling! If I am in the right place in my heart and mind with the Lord, then my kids benefit and schooling goes to a whole different level. Merry Christmas! Spend time remembering why and who we celebrate. |
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