We had another whirlwind weekend.  Thursday, we took some friends to see the Opera (To GO) Strega Nona.  It was a great little opera!  Then it was home only to find dear hubby sound asleep in bed.  His allergies had hit him so hard that work had sent him home.  I got Isaac to lay down with him and sleep and then it was time to pick up another boy from school.  We got some stuff to make spaghetti -in honor of Strego Nona, swung by to pick up some more children then came home.  Xavier finally got up and went to pick Alex up from school.  One dad came to pick up 2 of the children then I open the door to find a wayward teenager on my doorstep.  He had just had some devastating news about his grandmother-mom was on the way to another town to be with her so he came walking to our house until his dad could get home from work.  The parents of the other boy and Xavier all got here around the same time so we fed everyone heaps of salad, spaghetti and garlic bread.  Xavier rushed off to another meeting.....

Friday was First Friday so we got up early again to head to St. Elizabeth Ann Seton parish for Mass.  Cameron sings in the choir so we have to be there around 8am. Afterwards was picture day-the boys cooperated very well (I was able to talk Cameron out of the mohawk look...).  Then we helped with some service projects and went to eat pizza.  Got home to rest only to be woken up by a phone call-it was a dear friend asking if we would go to a Right to Life Banquet.  We had to scramble to get children situated...we are NOT a family who does many things spontaneously...  It was a great banquet with great speakers....but we didn't get home until 10:30 or later (Isaac was still awake....)

Saturday my wonderful dear husband got us all up around 6:30am (omg) to have a big breakfast and get ready.  Alex's school was finally having a football game....only their 3rd of the season due to hurricanes and bies and such.  It was their first game at their brand new field on the campus.  They won 38-0!!  Then we had a huge schoolwide tailgate party afterwards. Then we raced home where I tried to take a nap.  It didn't happen.  Then I kidnapped a friend and we met another friend at Starbucks where we sipped beverages and handed out 30 roses to total strangers.  Got home around 10pm.

Today, my dear hubby and Alex got up at 5am.  They were going on a field trip with other dads and sons to Bridge City, Texas to help gut a house that had been damaged by the storm.  They will be gone all day working on this project.  In the town of Bridge City, only 14 houses were left untouched by the hurricane!  I am supposed to participate in Life Chain this afternoon.  If you have never heard of Life Chain, you can google it.  Basically people from any denomination gather together along a busy road to hold signs  and pray.  It is a one hour silent testiment to Life.  We have done this event for 3 years and were planning on going this year but now I'm thinking God is calling me to stay home and focus on the Life in my own home. 

Now here is the Epiphany part.  We have run like crazy this week.  While all of the activities were good, most of them kept us apart as a family and away from home.  The house is a total wreck.  Laundry-both clean and dirty- is everywhere.  King Cluckankahmen is begging to have his salt mixture changed.  Cameron has schoolwork that needs to be finished before next week.  I have not been able to make a menu or grocery list.  I have an angel that needs to be finished.  I have had very little-if any time to refresh and renew myself.  So here's my personal Epiphany.....even if things/activities are good/great ...if they take too much away from my family....then are they really what God wants for me?  The family itself as an "institution" is under attack.  When we are given the option to put something ahead of our family and we take it, is it really God's will?  That isn't to say all outside activities are bad or evil.....but proportioning our time and making priorities is of vast importance, too.  If I'm constantly having to tell my family-"not now", I'm busy with other things-what message is that sending to them and to others?  I have been-several times actually-in a mode where I'm busy all the time and gone all the time.  My family and home suffer because of it.  I have worked very hard to maintain some balance and try very hard to keep my priorities in God's order for me.

I knew there was a problem when I started feeling overwhelmed last night (for those of you who might not know this, I have suffered from depression in the past.  I am much better now, but it is only by taking things about a week at a time.  I know what my limits are....I'm also afraid of heights...hehe).  My friend, Christine offered to watch Isaac during the Life Chain (neither of us thought it would be good parenting to let Isaac stand alongside a busy highway for an hour....).  I woke up this morning-still feeling overwhelmed by the house and schoolwork that had been neglected.  I prayed about it and felt God calling me to take time to refocus and review my priorities.  I stress that this Epiphany applies only to me!  I certainly am NOT making calls for everyone else's lives....just mine.  When my family can't find clean clothes, when schoolwork gets shoved to the back burner, when no one knows what's for dinner or even if we have the ingredients for dinner, then I need to pull the emergency brake on life and re-evaluate.  No that doesn't mean I'm not going to participate in activities and events (yes, Christine, I still want to learn to make Morse bags...).  It does mean that with a busy, hectic holiday season fast approaching I need to take stock NOW.  I was so proud of my dear hubby a few Sundays ago when he actually declined a request to oversee a booth at our fall festival.  I was already booked with 2 booths and so was he.  In the past, he would have felt pushed to say yes but this year he was able to say, "you know what, two booths each for my wife and myself is plenty-it's unfair to our family,especially our two little children to book every minute of that festival working for other people."  That was very major for him!

I always go back to my Mother's Rule and the priorities I am called to (I am very much an ordered/list driven/rule abiding person):

1: Prayer/Personal relationship with God

2: Person-my physical and emotional health

3: Partner-my relationship with my spouse-the person God gave me before all others

4: Parenting-my relationship with my children and my duties towards them

5: Provider-what I do to help my family, my church and my community

Holly Pierlot author of the book "A Mother's  Rule of Life" says this better than I could : "By virtue of our baptism, we all have a call to Christianize the world and serve the church and society. I think it is most important to realize, we are doing this inherently within our vocations by raising citizens of this world & the next. Let no one belittle the importance of our call to family life. "

and...

"VII) Distinguishing Between a Separate Apostolate & normal Christian Living

We are all called to a Christian life and mission, which will always include love of neighbour - in every manifestation of the Spiritual and Corporal Works of Mercy - and which is to be considered a normal aspect of Christian life. When our neighbour needs some help and we can help, we can do so. A neighbourhood food drive for needy families, a pro-life rally, a letter to our state or provincial representative re same-sex marriage - all of these are informal and normal ways of living out the Christian call to love in the works of mercy. We do not need to go out looking for these - so often they present themselves to us through a phone call from a friend , a request or through a news report....

We are all called to witness ( living out the Christian vocation in our lives)as well as being ready always to 'explain the reason for our hope'(evangelization and catechising others). A coffee with a friend and a little encouragement to follow church teaching in their marriage is being a witness. Being honest in paying our taxes, correcting the cashier in over-refunding
me... all these are little ways in which we witness.

We are all called to prayer for others. There are great needs all over the world, and within our local communities and relatives which needs prayers. We
ought to daily include these.

It is when we begin to look at more formal involvments in our parish or community or on a larger level that we especially need to discern.

We need to realize 'family first' is a 'general rule', in that we already are living our Christian calling within our married and family lives. God does not want this neglected. We must be honest in this area - in whether we are truly fulfilling our responsibilities here or not. If we are struggling greatly in accomplishing the duties of the 5 Ps, then to me, this is an indication that our efforts elsewhere would be a distraction more than a benefit.

But if we are fulfilling our family duties in the 5 Ps, we may indeed be called by God to a greater involvement, and it depends upon all the issues mentioned above - time, talent & interest, temperament,
charisms & gifts, and needs. A thorough reflection on our abilities and person can help us discern if God is calling us to these things.

VIII) There's a Time and a Season...

Extra involvement outside the home depends upon what is going on within the home - both with the fulfillment of our daily duties, but also upon the 'seasons' of motherhood. A mother of five small children will not have the same calling outside the home as the mother whose children are grown, nor for the mother with intermediate children - who may actually be able to help serve in a family apostolate.

It is important for us to truly place family first. Sometimes this can be difficult. I remember feeling like I had to chain myself to the pew when my priest would call for volunteers, because I always wanted to volunteer for everything! Later, as my children grew, I began to be very interested in the home, and didn't want to do so much work outside of it. It almost killed me at times to write A Mother's Rule because I wanted instead to spend time with my family!

That there are tensions within a mother's life regarding juggling all these things, is a reality. A prayerful and reasoned assessment of all the varied areas of discernment, in consultation with husband and spiritual director, is a necessary thing when looking at formal, outside apostolates.'

Sorry this post was so long but it's Sunday and God was speaking to my heart and it helps me to write these things down.......