Jul. 11, 2008 - humility at its finest!
my day starts with many thoughts. i am reminded of one saying i hold dear and near my heart..."today is the beginning of a new day. i trade a day of my life for it. i can do with it as i will. it can be used for good, not evil: success not failure, in order that i don't forget the price i paid for it."...many years ago, one morning i woke up getting ready for my day...and i found this letter on my dresser. i finally got to the end of it to find that my daddy had signed his name. it wasn't like those birthday cards that moma signed for both of them. this was his handwriting to me!
eventhough my daddy is with Jesus, i can still remember everything about that morning getting ready for school. most importanly, i remember how i felt to have something that he took time to write. took time to sign.
yesterday, i found myself in a place of the highest complement that could ever be given. and in turn, i fell to my knees weeping..my son and i were talking about "you haven't walked in my shoes" stories. after our conversation, he begin to cry. i was thinking "what in the world?" he told me with a tender voice that he has walked in my shoes. i am puzzled at this point. i asked him what he was talking about. he said, moma i try to be just like you. thats what i want, to be just like you.. his heart was broken cause he thought i was suggesting to him that he couldn't do "WALK IN MY SHOES" anymore. i had to explain what "walking in my shoes" means. i was able to redirect his feeling. my mind went through about 50 scriptures as he was talking trying to find that "RIGHT" one for the occassion. you know that fitting word in due season. i could feel my heart beating 90 to nothing cause i knew i needed to point to jesus, i just didn't know what to say. then out from my mouth came those precious living waters...i said son, if there is any good thing about me it is Jesus! i know there was more i could i have said, and after thinking about it ,,,there is sooo many things, scriptures i could have used.
after he left and this conversation was over, i just fell by my bedside and cried unto the Lord. i was humbled and honored and SHAKEN at the same time. my fleshy desire to get that pat on the back(like when the laundry is not just washed, but folded and put away, socks are mated and ironing is done...all at the same time-lol) didn't arise. my heart spoke and pointed to Jesus. its because i know him...its because i have a relationship with an all knowing God. and because i know my son was His before He ever gave him to me!
me getting that letter from my daddy made a difference in my life. beyond his natural death, it stills rings in my ear. i am prayerful that my journey through motherhood/parenthood will point my treasures to their destiny. beyond today, into tomorrow and throughout eternity, Lord they belong to you. SHOW ME YOUR WAYS OH GOD! i know they are watching and hearing. i know they are learning. this goes beyond the book work. its the issues of the heart. well... its humility at its finest!
"Teach like Jesus"
momabean
