Feb. 18, 2009 - Let me tell you what happened to me Sunday...
Let me tell you a little story. Many, many years ago I went to a retreat as a young girl. For the first time I really heard about what Jesus did for you and for me. I was broken over my sins... I KNEW I was a sinner, in need of a Savior. I walked the aisle, very sorry for how I had broken Jesus' heart and repeated what the preacher told me to and so from that point on I started doing what a good Christian should do. We got in church, I started singing in the choir and helping in Sunday School classes for children... anything I could do, I did it.
For the longest time afterwards I felt something was lacking in my relationship with the Lord. When I would begin to feel that way, I would pray and do more. Only to feel something was missing again later on.
What is wrong I wondered... Why don't I have the joy that I want, instead of this ache in me.
For almost 19 years this went on. I finally had pushed it away so much that I didn't 'feel' it much anymore.
Sunday morning we had a FANTASTIC Sunday service. Our Pastor preached on the parable of the wheat and the tares. A tare looks like, feels like, and is often mistaken for wheat. The problem is, when you open it up...
It's empty, hollow, a void is there...
I sat there with an uneasy feeling in my heart. One that I pushed out of my mind.
I saw several people get saved that morning and I was tickled for them.
Shannon and I came home and heated up some leftovers for lunch. The children had gone to Grandmaw Sandy's.
Still with a gnawing in my stomach I began to pick a fight with him. I started fussing with him about this and that... nothing important, but it was strange that I just was this irritable about such trivial things.
I brought up the service while we were eating and we began discussing what happened, how wonderful it was and then began talking about the time when we asked the Lord to become Lord of our lives.
Shannon was only 7! He said he remembered asking the Lord to forgive him and that he surrendered his life to Him.
I couldn't admit to surrendering. It made me angry... how could one who has helped others, went on mission trips, worked in the church, sang in the choir and such NOT be a believer?????
HOW????
IT COULD NOT BE POSSIBLE!!!!
I began to weep... the Lord was convicting me and I fought against it... my pride was so welled up in me that I couldn't admit to my facade that I had played for so long.
I can't do it... I can't admit it... if I do I will look so foolish!
I couldn't even see how I was focusing on 'me', 'me', 'me'!!!!!
When all this time He was pleading with me to let it become about HIM!
So all that to say friends,
I have played church, I have played Christian, I have played and played and played...
I had just enough head knowledge for it not to be real, I mean really real in me.
The Lord wanted me to give him my life, and all I did was go through the motions.
Sunday afternoon about 3 pm, I surrendered.
I repented of my sins, of my pride and my arrogance. I asked the Lord Jesus to take control of my life and to live in and through me. I asked Him to use me.
I got saved! Not for the second time... that is not how it works.
I got saved, plain and simple for once and for all!
I am His and He is mine!!!!
Friends, I wanted to share this with you, because I know if it could happen to me, it could happen to others. We get all caught up in 'doing', we get all caught up with an 'experience'.
Now don't get me wrong, it was an experience... one that I will NEVER forget... the brokenness, the sorrow in my heart was overwhelming.
But then, my friends, the FREEDOM that I know now is indescribable.
I want to share with you... I wanted you to know how the Lord has changed my life!!!!
I am blown away.
I am assured...
I pray you are too.
If I can help you in any way, please feel free to email me at chasburrell at tvn dot net
My Cup TRULY Runneth Over and Over and Over...
Chas
Comments
Feb. 27, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by CandyFoote
Oh my goodness, Chas! I wanted to cry my eyes out when I read this post!
God is soooo good!
Isn't it wonderful!!!
Candy
Mar. 25, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Mommy2Joshua
I had a similar experience a couple of years ago. I thought I was saved when I was a child. I had been going to church for many years. Taught sunday school, sang in the choir... etc.. But, during a sermon about repenting and turning your life over to God... I realized that I too had been playing at being a Christian for 20 years. I am so thankful to God that He didn't give up on me. And praise God that you, too have now surrended to Him. I am so happy for you.
