I'm trying to figure out how to teach kindness.  I'm aware of the LACK of it in our home lately.  There is kindness-- upon which I remark when I "catch" it-- but there is also marked UNkindness.

I've tried asking what prompted certain actions.  O's unkindness tends to be retaliation.  J's and M's seems to come from their single-minded focus on their own wants and needs.  But reflecting on its origins hasn't eliminated the unkindness.

Then I tried asking the children to think of something kind their siblings would like, so we could proactively offer an act of kindness to one another.  They had a really hard time thinking of something someone else would like.  Finally, we had some ideas: J thought O would like to borrow one of his toys.  O said M would like to play in his room (she would).  M said O might like to play in her room (he wouldn't).

Thursday, I started fining them a nickel for each act of unkindness.  Ooo, the agony.  But we're adding the money into the Kindness Jar.  We all contribute to the money out of allowances, spare change, the garage sale, etc., and we use the money to buy the supplies for our homeless backpacks.

But I think I'm going to sit down with each of them and ask for some ideas of services their siblings could render them... taking a turn at a chore for them, for example.  Then I'll put those in a jar, and when there is unkindness, rendering one of the services drawn from the jar would be a way of making amends.

I know Kendra at Preschoolers and Peace had some good ideas about this awhile back... time to revisit that post!

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