• Sep. 9, 2007
Who am I?

How do you know who you really are?  I know the answer - you need to be immersed in the word so that God can show you who He has made you to be.

Still, I felt like putting some thoughts in my blog.  I wonder if anyone else has the experience where you have all these questions, you really know the answers deep down, but you still want to ask them?  I wonder if that is a rebellious spirit?

I have had a really funny day;  I get them from time to time, but it's been a while since I've had one.  This time, I finished it off a lot better than normal, though. Often the day ends up being miserable for the children (trent was working), but I held myself together this afternoon and everyone got to bed peacefully. 

Is it possible to be totally peaceful all the time.  Peace is one of the fruits of the Spirit, so if we are walking with God, shouldn't we feel peace all the time, even when times are hard? 

I feel like I'm wearing masks all the time - trying to please everyone...well, everyone that I think matters.  (I'm not caught up in trying to please the world, which is a relief.)

I remembered, today, what my friend Joanna told me about what God was showing her about idolatry ages ago.  Anything that gives us comfort before God has become an idol.  How do you reach a place of finding comfort in God when you are feeling overwhelmingly tired, the children need your attention and you just can't focus? (I could answer this question myself too!!  Turn on the praise music and just dance around the house; take a blanket and lie under the clouds and talk to the children about how great God is; lie on the bed with a pile of Bible story books and read the afternoon away....why didn't I enjoy those things today instead of wallowing in my self-pity?  Why do I have to be such a slow learner? Instead I thought, "I'm too tired and overwhelmed with being a homemaker to do what I am 'supposed' to do, so I will just give up even trying and have a miserable afternoon being grouchy."

I'm rambling now.  Forgive me.  I'm really OK. I'm sitting here with a happy heart, just wanting to write.

I should go to bed now, though.  I should go and take my Bible and spend some time with my patient Lord before I get some much needed sleep. I am a funny girl.  I hope that tomorrow I can just relax, be who God has made ME to be, and enjoy my wonderful husband, my precious children, and the many, many other blessings that God has given me. 

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Comments

• Sep. 10, 2007
Peaceful all the time

Posted by Anonymous

Alex, I don't think it's possible to be at peace all the time. I'm not sure that being a Christian means our lives are perfect, because we're still living in the world. Our lives are bettere, surely - for me, God is what keeps me going when I'm not so peaceful. He is peace when I am chaos, joy when I am sad, rest when I am exhausted. I hope you find a bit of comfort in that. Love, Sarah

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