Last February my Husband & I were hit with the reality of a 20% cut in pay -- effective immediately. I don't know about all of you but we live pretty much paycheck to paycheck. It hit us real hard - so unexpected, but we managed. On top of that my husband had to lay guys off. That was harder then the news of the paycut. He really struggled with that. It was hard to see him so torn up. At home we prayed for him everyday during that time -- prayed for strength and a sense of peace from God. We also thanked God everyday for his job.

         Somedays - like today payday, mortgage day & grocery day are hard but  I know we'll manage no sense in always being gloom & doom. ( I would go coo-coo) God doesn't want that from us and I don't want to ever protray that to our children. So I keep it quiet but I'm not one to be like la~de~daaa everything is coming up roses -- my kids are smart ~ our reality is not 'invisible' to them nor should it be.

        Well here we are living off what we thought would be "Impossible" and Truly Thanking God that it's not. Here we are.............hit with the news last night that we are looking at another 10 to 15% pay-cut, effective on our next paycheck. I've stopped typing for a minute just staring at that. Another hit. How is this possible.

       Why would God allow this? Where are we going to possibly cut-back??? First thing I think is grocery bill? Are you kidding me we average 500 to 600 a month -- we are a family of 7!!!! and that includes diapers & all cleaning supplies and so on.......I have no idea.

        Oh and there's one more thing, it gets BETTER  -- 1 week off the week of Thanksgiving - NO PAY and 1 week off the week of Christmas - NO PAY. On top of the pay-cut. Are you SERIOUS? Do the owners at work have any compassion AT ALL??? I just want to call them up and say WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?? Do you not have a family? Do you not celebrate the holidays? Are you that rich and out of touch with reality that you have NO CLUE? The HOLIDAYS???? How can they do this? Sorry for the caps I am just so frusterated -- it's just my emotions ~ There's no other work out there -- this is where we're at. I need to vent right now and then I need to turn around and try everything possible to make it work. I'm not alone but My husband has enough on his shoulders his weight is so heavy. Today I plan to see what I can do here at home to ease this new reality -- no idea about the Holidays but that's something we will deal with another day -- even though it's something that keeps going through my thoughts at 100 mph -- I mean really we were already preparing for a 'lighter' if you will Holiday Season -- but this this just about changes it for us ~ ~ ~ need to move on. Atleast we have a job and a home and cars and food..........

       Well what could be harder than that? In one hour my husband has to look at his good friend and tell him that he has been laid-off from work. Another round of lay-offs. Another emotional day. In my husband's line of work - the guys all know each other. They've all worked together 5, 10, 15 years -- why does this have to lay upon his shoulders?? He was real restless last night and real quiet as he walked out the door this morning. How am I going to do this he asked me in his eyes & in his hug good-bye. My dear husband. I love you so much. He has to do another round of lay-offs -- this time it's harder. Where are they going to go? There's no work out there. There's nothing. The first  round well what we now call 'the first round' of lay-offs in February were hard - real hard. My husband was so upset he was sick with what I thought was the stomach flu but really it was stress. But he said, atleast they get a severence pay & medical throgh the month and vaca pay -- trying to see an up. But now there's nothing - no severence, no medical - vaca of course -- if you have any left, that's the law.  Oh he's just so sick about it. Makes my last paragraph seem pointless -- atleast we have a job. I AM Thankful for that. Very.

             The government is full of it when they say things are looking up. That's just - stupid. Well it is. Anyone with a brain knows that it's not. More and more people are losing their jobs. More and more are getting cuts in pay. More and more families are being torn apart through stress and uncertainty.

            Everytime I felt frusterated I thanked God that my husband was still working. And now??? I don't know. It's hard to understand why God would allow this. I know there are worse things -- I know that. As I'm holding our youngest who is congested and coughing.  But for right now this is what our reality is. I hope I don't come across selfish and 'money focus'  because I'm not.

        Pray for the families who are going to lose their jobs today -- please pray for my husband. This is not easy for him at all. He cares about these guys. He even told his boss that one of them he cannot do -- he said that he would be in the meeting but that he could not look at him and tell him that he was no longer employed there. And surprisingly his boss said that he would do it - so my husband will be in the meeting but he won't have to say it - but this is just one guy -- there are many today, many that my husband has to look at and say, "I'm sorry......."

Oh my dear husband - how I love you.