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Uhm...I think that's a word....anyway, just trying to get my head, heart and body back to health - that's what that's supposed to mean. Yesterday was hard. Today I am in more of an "acceptance" mode. It is what it is. I think I should explain a bit, too. I was due to start on the 7th and I thought I just had monstrous PMS. I was tired and dizzy and grouchy and migrainy and hotflashing and tender everything....but by the 9th, I sort of figured, hmmm....so I got a home pg. test and sure enough, positive. So I tested again on the 10th, positive, and on the 11th, positive, and decided by Monday to see the doc and start prenatal care (I am high risk, have been since my 1st, so its just prudent to go early, for me anyway). I test more than once, always, because I have miscarried quite a bit. I just like to be sure. The third test wasn't as quick to go pos, but I blew it off, because I had drank *alot* of iced tea just prior, and thought maybe it was too watered down. I should have known. Anyway. I went to the doctor today. As doctors go (and I am NOT a big fan of the medical community), she is simply awesome. She went ahead and did a pelvic (uurrgghh) and had blood drawn. She decided to run an antimitochondrial antibody test because I have had so many miscarriages, she did an ANA (because I seem to get mono alot), hcg and CBC and I guess that's about it. She wants me to come back Monday, so we can continue to monitor hcg levels (you know, make sure it's not a molar pg or something). It is somewhat helpful to go to the doc - this is a routine I know from previous pregnancies and there is something comforting about knowing people are there to take care of you when you are down and out. Even if they are money swiping, blood sucking, cooter swabbing vampires...ha ha ha....yeah, even when I feel like ca-ca, I still have a warped sense of humor. Yesterday, it was warm, in the 70's. Today, it is raining and cold, down in the lower 40's. Appropos, all things considered. I was glad to get back home after my appointment, I didn't linger in town. I came home, had hot oatmeal and coffee, took my vitamins and parked here in front of my electronic buddy. Next on the agenda is hot tea with honey and then napping with my littles. I think I will build a fire in the woodstove after we get up - it will feel good, drive away the damp chill. This too shall pass. I am sustained by the Lord, knowing He is the Master and that nothing happens that He will not sustain us through. I will read my Bible today, finding solace and wisdom therein, and I will draw on the strength that family and friends so lovingly offer and this too shall pass. ~*~*~*~*~*~Thank you TC and Fringey, for the kind comments. I know we're all basically just strangers here in the Blogosphere, but you both made me feel better. ~*~*~*~*~*~* |
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