May. 8, 2008 - pics from the nature walk
May. 8, 2008 - Nice Day
Today was a nice day, I went to a huge Garage sale at the Vet hall thing and got a crib! I am so excited. Then I went to the herb store and got some herbs I wanted and then I found out my oils will be here tommorrow. I am starting to feel like me again! Now if only I could find my diapers in my garage and start using them again! I would feel like Lori. Oh and get my clothes line up and oh oh oh my GARDEN in. My dh adn me are just opposites, he doesn't see the beuty of hanging clothes, cloth diapers and herbs. But this is me how I am and what makes me happy. NOTHING is kewler than hanging cloth diapers on the line.lol NOTHING! So anyways that is my goal for the week, garden, not a huge one, because we want to move but some tomato plants in a pot would make my summer. And then hanging the clothes line up and of course getting my maternity and diapers out of storage.lol
It is spring and it is making me feel ALIVE! Getting out in the sun and wearing shorts. I am so happy the snow is gone!
Here is a pic of the kids on their bikes.
May. 7, 2008 - Frustrated very frustrated
I am probley going about this the wrong way but I need to get this out of my head and onto a piece of paper or I am going to explode. Funny that is how we writers are, we have emotions so much strong uncontrolable emotions yet we need to get them out, out or we can't stand it. And it has to be written, I don't think many of us can verbally express what we need or maybe we just don't have anyone who wants to listen.lol
Anyways me I am frustrated at this moment. Severly upset and frustrated at my husband, and you know what he doesn't care so I am in the later part, noone to listen. I hate going to friends or family so I just am going to write this out and see what comes pooring out of my brainstorm. I am going to put this on my blog, so that if anyone is going or has been through this they will know they are not alone, because frankly right now at this moment I feel alone.
My husband and I married when I was 21, we had one child together already. Then after we where married child number 2 came, now for those of you who say WAIT, we where living together when I got pregnant with my first, in a very comited relationship and talking of marriage but I didn't believe in marriage at all, my parents had just broken up and I thought marriage was a usless stupied institution and refused to enter into it, I didn't need to go to the goverment to have them say I was going to stay with this person forever, because I already knew that. We where in a monogomous relationship. Was I right? UHM no and yes, do we need a goverment to tell me I am married, well no, DUH, but I feel that as a Catholic we do need the Sacrament of Marriage so we have Gods graces in teh marriage. Anyways now back to my issues.
then we go pregnant with baby number 2, then after he was born dh joined the Army and left for almost a whole year. Then we moved to GA our time in GA before Iraq was probley the best time in our whole marriage, we where happy and in harmony and had no family around. WE where just in a good spot, period, and we loved it there, now if you asked me when I lived in GA I would have said, Ga is awfulit is hot and I live on base, bla bla bla but things change when looking back on them.
So during all this I was raising our boys well now we where having number 3, and my dh was a normal husband, he went to work came home ate and went to bed. He was working many many hours so the kids where my domain along with the home.
Then he left for Iraq and everything was my Domain, the house the kids, everything because well the man was at war, for 18 months!
Then he came home and was worked even harder and it was still all up to me. I single handled moved us yet again back to ga, fixed up the junkiest trailer known to man and did my part.
He got out of the Army and got a job here and well still my Domain, the kids and the house. No help no questioning Nothing. If you asked my husband how to start a load of laundry in my home he would have looked at you with a blank look and probley said, Laundry? He jsut was a normal husband working and not having time and paying attention and frankly I wasn't worried and didn't care I was a normal wife, doing her duty.
Well now my dh is home fulltime it started in December, he was injured in Iraq and can't work and it took about a year for the disability to go through. And suddenly I have this being in my DOMAIN, telling me how to do it and what I am doing wrong and the worst part of all, Thinking he can do a much better job than me!
Now lets be honest I am up to child 4, and I am pregnant and tired, I would lke him to help, but my dh isn't one to be able to work with others. It is his way or no way. And he is completly in charge and I stay out of the way read his mind adn do what he wants before he speaks or well he isn't happy. SOOOO, I get the subbmissive wife talk bla bla bla. WEll have you read corithians 31, well her husband was at the city gate not hanging around saying I can sew better than you, you are doing an awful job, I don't like what you cook change it on and on.
So then I wonder ok maybe I am being hormonal or something, so I go talk to my husband, and I say this is how I feel. So he says, listen the kids are terrible you can't get them out of control so I think it would be best if you left for a few weeks and let me take over get this house undercontrol adn then you can comeback and take over. OK I AM NOT NUTS, he really doesn't care how I am and WAIT, my kids aren't out of CONTROL! TRUST ME! I know out of control kids, mine have no routene at the moment because ever since my DH came home he has decided to change everything, not fix it just say my way doesn't work adn work against me to make me fail but not allow a routene to go inplace or me to make a new one. But no they are not out of control. And my house is CLEAN, and also not out of control, no mounds of dirty dishes or clothes everywhere. In my opinion I have and am doing a good job, but not to him, the man who for the first time since those children where born decided hey I think I can be a part of their lives. I am so MAD at him at the moment it isn't funny. So then we have the well he has TBI and PTSD, so now I am supposed to fiure out how that works. I am sorry but for the last year and a half or frankly my whole marriage it has been what he wants when he wants it and leaving me behind to pick up all the pieces and I am sick of it. I was against him joining the Army in the 1st place, but I did it anyways, and did my best, I wasn't excited about teh moves but I sucked it up and did it. I will put up with alot but for anyone to come in and decide they don't think I am a good mother and they can do a better job to my children, the ones I raised alone while he decided to go off and save the world, in his midlife crisis of joining the army at the age of 30, How dare he. I never have gotten a thankyou or I apprecitate you or anything. NOTHING, he doesn't even hug me and say wow you are beutiful or anything, it is just criticism. And I am about to take him up leave for a whole week and see how he survives it, but I can't do that to the kids. I would be leaving out of meaness and anger, and that isn't right. I know this will take time, and everyone keeps saying go find a hobby or something get out of the house, but you know what I LIKE BEING HOME! I love my kids and being a mom and dirty fingers and snotty kisses and kissing booboo's and the cauos of a large family. I enjoy it so much that I don't want to leave. And my opinion is if my husband hates it so much, hates the sound of children playing or talking or giggling or climbing trees, he should leave, because that is their problem. I like the life of a large family. I didn't con him into children. He is a cradle Catholic and if his PTSD makes it so he can't handle this then he needs ot go et him a little apartment somewhere and leave me alone. Because I am happy the kids are happy, and this is our life. I have kids, no they aren't perfect but I can go to a resturant alone with all 4 and eat a meal. I can take the to walmart by myself and the grocerystore and even shoe shopping. so no they aren't out of control. There things I don't like to do with my kids but that is because I don't like crowds and crowded places and places where people just let there kids run free.
Now I am an attached mother also, I treat my kids like people because I know they are little people, they aren't annoying creatures who should never be heard, they are little people. I wear my babies in a sling and I go out back adn play with my kids, we read together and run around and do all that fun stuff. But now my husband is home he wants all my attention ALL OF IT and if he doesn't get it he acts like a little child. I was on the phone with the church today and what does he do start throwing a fit, Lori we need to talk now, i need this bla bla bla, I whisper I am on the phone so what call them back. Now I am rarely on the phone, my cell had logged in 400 min last month that is my house phone and I believe only 150 min where not with my husband. I am not in any clubs and I rarely go out. I don't have alot of friends. so the man is not starved for attention, he jsut couldn't handle I was talking to another person. This wasn't even a deep long conversation it was simply someone calling to see if I could bring something to church tommorrow but my husband had a fit a flat out fit and I left, I was so mad. I know it is the TBI or whatever, but come on. He treats the children like things that get in the way of him getting my undivided attention. And I am sick of it, they are my children, and they are little children and you know what even if I didn't have children I wouldn't be at home all day surrounding my self with him. And that is how they are out of control, how dare I play with them or go out or read or the worst TALK to my children. He gets upset if I ask them a quesiton! WHAT! if I say how was your day and they respond he then starts to say don't ask them questions at all, you tell them what you want. I want ot have a conversation with my child I want to sit for a min and say hey how are you. REally you like dinosaurs kewl,
I do too, I need to be able to enjoy mother hood and frankly I feel ROBBED! I have a but a few years to run play tickle and goof off with my kids, and noone on this planet is going to interfere with that ANYMORE!
I get CTBHHM thrown in my face all the time and let me say Debbie Pearl adn her husband play and enjoy their children adn enjoy life., And I used to until recently and today I am taking a stand either he gets out of the way and lets me be the Mother or person I am or he can go. Because I hate, I mean HATE the person he is trying to change me into. I don't wear heels I don't do my hair and makeup, I never have! I wear hippie skirts climb trees do natural meds, and run around outside with out shoes on and I believe life is to short to be uptight and irritating. I like to go to the citymarket and eat natural foods nad you know what I hangout with the weird hippie people that scare my husband and he laughs at. Any until recently So did he, I go on nature hikes adn to the zoo and I camp. This is who I am and who I have ALWAYS been. Nothing new! I used to have hot pink hair and I miss it so much! I have a tatoo, adn if I see a tree I think hmm I wonder how long it would take me to scale that. I love the ocean adn I think freeze tag is the kewlest game EVER! And so does my best friend who used to be scotts best friend and how he once dated, and so did my husband. We used to play games and have fun adn just let things go. And have friends over and BBQ's and we hung out with people who loved us for who we where. Adn I know TBI changed personality but frankly who he changed into is not a man i would have even talked to.
Then man I fell inlove with decided to played pool. raced cars and was a very messy person. Who enjoyed life on the weekends and thought snowball fights where a blast and now if I even mention sledding he would have a COW! Well if wants to be an old man more power to him but I am 28 and I am refusing to turn into a boring bitter old person. he needs to get over himself and realize life is not that serious! The man needs to learn to have fun!
And this is from the person who has and always will be the one doing majority of the cleaning balancing the checkbook and paying the bills. There is a time and a place, but well I think if he doesn't lighten up a stroke is in the near future for him
.
May. 3, 2008 - Nature walk
WE went on a beutiful nature walk this week. It was so much fun and amazing. WE walked 4 miles so it was also hard work. But the kids had a blast and saw so much. We saw baby frogs, not tadpoles justtiny frogs, we saw waterfalls, and flowers and everything . We even saw 3 deer! They crossed infront of us on the path and then stopped locking at us.
It was so much fun and neat. Very tiring though. I am so sunburnt.lol
Well off to go play.
Apr. 25, 2008 - Lost
This weekend my beloved has taken off for a funeral. Leaving me alone with all the children. And though he has only been gone for about 4 hours I am so lost. Which I guess is so silly but I miss talking to him and such. Now he stays home I normally have him around me all day and we visit and tlak adn chat and do things as a team so I feel like half of my team is gone. And so I am using this time this break to catchup on things I have been lacking on. One of which is this blog.lol I ahve been reading it and rediscovering who I was and my feelings, like when you look back in a photobook sort of or read an old diary and remember how you felt at certain moments in your life. Which has been wonderful.
I am also so ready for summer to begin, most of my most fondest moments are made in the summer. Laying aorund in a swimsuit enjoys the water, and the picnics and the sprinklers. You know all summer has to offer. I can't wait to start camping and to pick berries and this year even though we plan on moving I think I am going to go ahead and plan my garden, a very very small one in pots so I can move it with me.
i ahve also been thinking about what I want in a house when we move which sounds so silly and probley is.lol But so much has happened in the last year I think moving to a new house to show a fresh start is a move in the right direction, plus having 5 kids in a 1 bathroom 900 sq ft house sounds very interesting to me.lol
As for school today Clay graduated from second grade jonah graduated from preschool and Adam got an award because he starts preschool in a month! WOOHOOO!!! i ahve also ordered everything for next year except a few work books I will be picking up so I am awaiting the arival of all my packages!!!! WOOHOO!!! This is one of my favorite events of the whole year. It is like Christmas for Mommy!
Apr. 22, 2008 - Wow
I forgot all about my blog here. It has been forever. Well lets see updates. I had a baby, a little girl, Savannah she just turned 1. i moved back home. I am still homeschooling but the boys are not 8, 5, and 1. And we are out of the Army, Oh and I am pregnant with baby number 5 due in october.
So alot has changed around here. I still homeschool using Mater Ambilis instead of Ambleside now, it is more Catholic and well I have been hanging on to the crazy world of life.
Nov. 25, 2006 - huge updates
I haven't been on here in forever. My computer died. Then I moved back to Kansas city. Then we told everyone we are having baby number 4 in march. Then we got another computer and it died. Then we went To oklahoma for a week, then we unpacked and moved in. Next we got another computer, and guess what I am back online.lol And that is pretty much a very short version of my update.lol
So, I hope everyone is doing great out there. We are doing great, I am home, which is so wonderful! And we are rediscovering the City. I am 23 weeks pregnant, which is fun, and trying to keep up with school so we can take a much needed break before the baby gets here. Scott is looking for a Job so we are spending lots of time together as a family, luckly we had some savings saved when we got here, so we are handling the being unemployed thing ok.lol
I plan on posting often again now that I hjave a home and computer set up.lol ALmost.lol
Lori
Jun. 29, 2006 - my routene
In trying to make a staible home for my children in a very unstable enviroment, I have failed. I try adn try but I can't keep up with one. So I have decided to make a very very simple one.lol
6:30 get up
6:50 breakfast
7:15 get everyone dressed
8:00 clean the house
9:00 start school
12:30 lunch
4:00 snack
6:00 dinner
8:00 baths
8:30 bedtime
I based it off what most regular school kids have, unlike them homeschoolers or atleast I have a hard time making a routene I don't have to have the kids ready to be somewhere the same time everyday, early in the morning. So we are staying up late and getting carried away and have no routene what so ever. So I set it up according to what alot of people who send there kids to school do, they have to catch the bus at 8:00am and they get home and have a snack.lol And they go to bed around 8:30am. So I doing a basic one, but hopefully I have enough freetime to have fun and do things in it. I am going to try to turn into one of those moms, who say, no we can't we have school and no that is to late w have a bedtime, like normal moms in the world.lol Wish me luck and pray we can keep up with it. I guess now I need to wear a watch and actually know the time.lol
Lori
Jun. 28, 2006 - my mothering type
Your type is: isfj The Tender Loving Care Mother
I want my children to feel they have an ally, someone who knows them completely. I want to be a haven for them.
- Gentle and kind, the ISFJ mother provides her children with generous amounts of tenderness, affection, and the comfort of daily routine. Her aim is to be there for her children, physically and emotionally. She is sensitive to their feelings, offering closeness, understanding, and quiet support.
- Loyal and devoted, the ISFJ mother has a strong sense of duty and consistently puts her childrens needs first. She delights in taking care of the little things that matter to a child, making each one feel loved and special.
- To provide her family with security and warmth, the ISFJ mother tends to the practical and domestic, aiming for a smooth-running household and an attractive home. She also observes and conveys the value and importance of family traditions.
Jun. 28, 2006 - Busy Dental week!
It has been a busy dentla week, Scott had his wisdom teeth taken out, it is awful! He is so swollen adn feels awful, please say some prayers for him, we looked at the teeth today and they where in peices meaning they had to shater them to get them out, also there was flakes of bone ouch!!!!
Then today all teh boys had an appointment! No cavities! Adam freaked, he didn't like it at all. But the otehr 2 where wonderful. So we went to chic fillet to celebrate and I let the kids run in the play area a few hours. I have been really missing our huge yard in KC lately, the house doesn't really have a yard.lol So I can't just send the kids out, we are in the woods.lol But back home we have a massive home.lol I am going to make a point to go to the park and to the beach more often for them. We also did the park last night. Adn during the wait at the dentist and then in chickfillet we got alot of reading done. I just throw a book in my purse and read where we are and then the CD of music also helps big time.
I think the guy setting next to us eating his lunch also enjoyed the story, he was alone and I was reading and he sat there listening, in his booth after he finish eating then when I put down the book he left.lol I was glad he also got to enjoy the story, I know it sucks to eat alone. And another couple said how neat. I am going to bring books to more resturants it kept the kids quiet while they waited for everyone to finish eating.lol
It also is wonderful to have in waiting rooms!
Lori
Jun. 25, 2006 - housekeeping
This is my daily chores in my home. I have tried to do the whole schedrul thing, and frankly it doesn't work,. I get frustraated and give up so I have a checklist of accomplishments each day. This works alot better in my home.lol
Daily Chores:
1. I clean up all bedding, roll up sleeping bags, make beds etc.
2. I clean the boys room up, I pick up all the toys, vacume, windex the window and spray with fabric refresher
3. Clean the bathroom: Everyday, I spray toilet cleaner in the toilet, then I take a spounge and scrub out the tub, then I clear off the back of the toilet and windex it, then I scrup the sink clear it off adn wash out the cup that holds the toothbrushes, next I windex the mirror. Now I scrub the toilet then I wipe it all down including behind it, and take a washcloth and wipe the whole floor, next I rinse out the dog dishes and fill them up. Then I light a candle in it and leave. This takes maybe 10 min
4. I then windex and dust the whole house.
5. I also mop the kitchen everymorning
6. I vacume a million times thru the day, I have navyblue carpet so anytime there is anything on it it looks very dirty so I keep it plugged in by the door.lol
7. I can't stand dirty clothes, probley because I don't have a laundry room so I try to keep up wiht laundry at all times.
8. My kitchen is open with the living room, so it generlly stays very picked up, we are in a very small trailer for the summer, it is fun because we are on the beach adn bad because we it is very very small so I keep the kitchen clean, right after a meal all dishes are done, and everything is swept and wiped up.
Then each day has little chores:
Monday:
1. clean the whole fridge
2. clean all the appliances,
3. clean the stove, I do the oven the first week of the month
Tuesday
1. clean walls in the house
2. clean the baseboards in the house
3. clean one kitchen cabinet and one kitchen drawer
4. scrub kitchen and bathroom floor, this is diffrent from a daily mop, here I really scrub adn move all the furniture and such
Wensday
1.straighten closed and drawers in my room on the 1, 3rd week and boys room 2 and 4th week
2. clean lightswitches in house
3. vacume under all teh furniture
4. dust ceilings, and ceiling fans in the house
Thursday
1.copy menu plan from menus4moms, and then work on my grocerylist
balance checkbook
2. work on lesson plans
Friday
1. Wash bedding
2. do something to make house pretty
3. run errands
4. rebalance the checkbook when you get home
5. pack beachbags and put in the closets
Saturday
1. Clean up the yard
2. family funday
sunday
1. relax and get ready for monday
.
Jun. 20, 2006 - Ben Franklin Final
*Benjamin Franklin by Ingri D'Aulaire
Benjamin Franklin lived in boston and he knows alot about electricity. He is from Boston and he unwisley spent his money on a whistle. He also spent alot of money on bread and stuffed it all over him, becuse he bought so much bread. His favorite thing to do was read books.
He ran away, because his brother beat him On his his way to New York he was offered Fish and he ate the fish because he was hungry.
He saved a man because he was a good man, and he fell. He saved him buy grabbing his hair. He learned about electircity with a kite. He helped write the decloration of independence.
Jun. 20, 2006 - AIS Narrations foir final
Albion and Brutus:
Neptune Was the king of the waves and a giant. He has a beutiful wife. He sees memaids. He lives in the Ocean. He raised his children to be kings of Islands. He had a favorite child named albian. And the mermaids came and he became king of the most beutiful Island. The Island was named Albion.
The Island changed its name to Britain, Brutus after the man who came and took it over.
The Comming of the Romans:
The Romans they made really good stuff better than anyone in the whole wide world. And they wanted to conquoer Britain and Island very far away/ Julius Caesar is a roman. Ceasar heard about an island and he wanted to make it his island. So he went to conquer the Island. And there was a war. They fought in the water, they where afraid to go in the water( the romans) The Romans won the war, but they felt like they losed the war.
Jun. 20, 2006 - Clay narrations june 20th
AIS St. alban
St alban was a christain and he talked to God Sometimes. St. Alban was a saint, and he got his chopped off and he died. And he went to heaven. He was the first Christain martier of Brittain. The priest and the Lod taught him about Christ. Se saved the priest from the bad guys who wanted to chop his head off because he was a christian.
Aesops:
the frog and the boys:
Well the boys throwed stoned, and it could have killed the frogs. And told them it was a matter of life and Death for the Frogs. Because they could have smashed the frogs and killed them. The boys where throwing stones because it was fun.
Jun. 16, 2006 - Dancing, homeschool, and boys
I have decided a big part of my pe for school will be teaching my boys how to dance. It is a skill they are going to have to know there whole lives. Dancing is a way to woo a woman, everyone dances on there wedding day, and well most women love a man who can dance. My husband is a wonderful wonderful dancer, he can whip me around the dancefloor like noones buisness. And all I have to do is follow and trust, like in my marriage.
So I have been teaching them, so far I am teaching how to 2 step and 16 step. It is a blast! I have always danced with my children, when they where babies I would hold them close turn on the river and slow dance, it seemed to relax them completely. As they got older we got silly, nothing is funner than jaming the radio adn dancing around cleaning the house and cooking. It also is such great exercize. It is a big part of our family. Scott and I dance together all the time! And I have always been into dancing! I used to swing dance, and 2 step adn hip hop dance before kids, now i just 2 step.lol I also love ballroom and I even took salsa nad belly dancing when Scott was deployed.lol
But dancing is such a HUGE part of being human, every country has there own form of dancing. But this morning we turned on the country station and had a blast! And hopefully in teaching them the basics of dancing, they will learn how to lead in a marriage and also how to be gentlemen.
Lori
Lori
Jun. 14, 2006 - ever dream of running away?
All my life I have dreamed of running away to a magical land, when I was a child I was going to run away and live in the woods behind my house and live like little house on the prairie or huck finn and see unicorns and fairies everyday.lol Yep, you have no idea how many hours I spent being really really still on a log hoping to see a fairy or a unicorn.lol
Now as an adult I have those same dreams, except now I am going to be really really rich live on a farm in france and paint, as nannies do all the discusting jobs in my home.lol When do I have this dream, generally on days like today.lol Lets see I woke up to stepping straight into poop, my dog left me a wonderful present next to the bed, and I woke up wet because adam had climbed into my bed and peed on me, right as his diaper decided to leak! Yep france sounds so nice, so I got in the shower, how come you only run out of hot water as you are rinsing your hair? I got 1 and a half legs shaved before I realized I can't take it anymore. and jumped out. I forgot to condition the hair so now it is a frizzy mess all over my head.lol So then I head into the kitchen and make myself a bowl of ceral and a cup of coffee, the phone rings it is scott, so as I am balancing the phone coffee and ceral I trip, trying to save the coffee land straight on my face, seriously it was the first thing to hit the floor. Then I realize coffee hot fresh wonderful coffee was all over me, so back to the closet I went to try to change.lol Then the boys are up, after hearing me yelp in pain from the coffee, and falling on my face so I make the ceral. Somehow this upset king Jonah who thru a fit, the boy is not a morning person, and he threw the ceral at my face! Stunned and upset I grab the child run him straight to the corner, spank him adn make him stand there, forgetting he has not gone potty today, so he pees all over me! Literally, uhg, so I change him then I get my chance to go to the closet adn change my clothes once again then scrub the pee out of my carpet. So as this is going on Clay informs me Adam stinks, not thinking I rip of the diaper, and the hard log which is inclosed flies out hitting the front of my shirt and rolling straight down to my foot, so I not only got to change a poopy baby but my now poopy outfit, fun times! So then as I am changing my clothes, and telling jonah he is not to leave his room, I hear splash, somehow the ceral I just poured went straight to the floor, so I cleaned it up. Then I got everyone settled and began to clean the house, as my husband walks in, questioning my unmatched outfit, crazy hair and the fact ceral now covers well the whole house, oh and we have a massive pile of laundry where he knew there was none when he awoke, I have 3 huge pet peeves, I can't stand laundry, dirty dishes or finger prints on anything.lol
So I get everything settled and clean the house, then I decided hmm it is lunch time, so I make romen noodles, I have to leave for a min, my kids decide to have a food fight! Romen noodles everywhere! Fun times, I cna tell you! So I give in and begin to make them clean it up, so Adam decides to reach in his once again poopydiaper, pulk out a hunk of it and rub it on my dress as a sign hey I need a change, again! Breath breath breath! So my house is now silent, baby has had another bath and kids are clean, and they are in the process of cleaning there entire room from top to bottom, and I am wondering if I have to take my children as I run away to France.
Seriously motherhood is one of the most magical jobs one could have, but why does it have to be so GROSS! And it is 2:42, no we haven't even done school yet and I know my husband is going to come in and say the house is trashed what did you do today, even though I ahve scribbed mopped vacumed everypeoce of my home today! Oh and I forgot to say where I was during the romen noodle fight, I was scrubbing the crayon off my tub yes Jonah decided going to draw while going potty today!
My children are not normally this unruley though, I am not sure what happened today, trust me if this was an everyday thing I would have run away years from now! But as I am cleaning the discusting things in my home I am in my mind on a farm is the south of france wearing white, and the kids are wearing white, eating peaches from our orchard.lol And when they are done there clothes are still white! I guess that is my happy place, oh and we are dancing and drinking wine and there is a team of people I can hand the dirty messes to and say fix this.lol And there is no poop, nothiing poops anywhere and I ride a white unicorn.lol OK I have to go vacume and quiet dreaming.lol will romen noodle peices break the vacume> HMMM!
Lori
Jun. 11, 2006 - dolphins
This weekend we went to the beach and we got some boogie boards! So I was out boogie boarding with Jonah. My husband suddenly yelled Lori look, and I looked over and not more than 50 feet from me where two grey fins sticking out of the water! I about freaked out! I was trying to catch the next wave in when they looked up and it was 2 dolphins! WOW! 2 dolphins came up to tell me hello! It was so neat, I still caught the next wave in though.lol
We had a wonderful time at the beach, we saw beach flea's which was neat considering we just read about them in burgess. And we saw tons of crabs and fish! My husband was attached by a huge blue crab.lol As we where walking along the shore looking for shells.
Then we came home and crashed and the next morning we layed around and where lazy, then we built a fire and sat out and relaxed. This area is more like a campsite than anything, tons of thed trailers are building fires at night, and the guy 2 trailers down is camping in a tent while he waits for his trailer to be finished.lol It is pretty quiet also, and back in the woods.
We found out that Clay is no longer allergic to milk! It was so much fine and wonderful! We went out for pizza! I cried as he ate his first peice of pizza with cheese ever! And I can buy convience foods again! And ice cream! We had lasagna for dinner tonight yummy!
Not that we are going to be living on junk but well sometimes it is nice to be able to buy something quick and easy!lol And well buying butter and chocolate chips and buttermilk adn real milk! Oh and cheese! Plus bread he has been allergin to about 90% of the breads out there and well sometimes I don't want to make bread.lol
It is so nice!
Lori
Jun. 5, 2006 - forgiving myself
A few years ago, something dumb happened and basicly I was called a bad mother. This has really affected me as a mother and as wife. It is so silly how the most retarded insignifigant things affect our lives. But I have been mad at myself not the person who called me a bad mom since.
As I replay the activities of the day that happened that day I realize honstly I did nothing wrong, And the person who did this was just a stupied insignifigant hateful person. Who didn't even have children. Did I do anything wrong that day, no, would I have changed anything I guess I wouldn't have panicked so much, but other wise no. Is it something that happens all over the world to many children, yes it is. Was it abuse or neglect, well no. Infact I honestly did nothing at all wrong, there was no serious injury at all just to my soul and my heart. And I need to forgive myself for what happened, I am not a bad mother, I honestly did nothing wrong.
I do not need to be a supermom, I can let that go now. I guess as a mother we are constantly being judged by everyone around us, but you know, I need to realize I do not have to be perfect, my children do not have to be perfect incase someone decides I am not good enough at my role as a mother or a wife. I am just doing the best I can, and that is all that matters. But I don't have to have complete fear everytime we leave the house that someone will call me out as a failure, because I am not a failure. The only thing I am failing in is my ability to relax and have fun.
I need to let go on these little insignifigant things in my life and forgivemyself for being human, that is what I am. I am not God, and the only Judgement that matters is that of the Lords. I need to quit worring about what others think of me and what my family and I need. Who cares if the kids have a dirty shirt on or are outside being little boys, Who cares if my neighbors think, golly she is an awful mother for allowing her kids to play with sticks, bottomline I am not an awful mother, there are kids all over just being allowed to roam the neighborhoods and such.
I don't have to be perfect at all, and I am forgiving myself for that. I have already forgiven the people who have hurt me, I have even forgotten what many loo like, but the words just stuck in me and I need to allow myself to heal.
I guess this is just silly to type out and post on my blog, but I know there are others with the same problems as me, many many mothers in the world in Fact, because as a society we want to constantly Judge and bash parents instead of appreciating the hard work we do. Basicly we have made parents feel so inferior we feel the best thing to do for our children is send them away as early as possible so the "trained professsionals" can raise our children. And those of us who do deside to say no, I can do this, and I am homeschooling etc, are picked apart so severly for homeschooling because we seem to be saying we are good enough to parent our own children. A concept society has tried to brainwash from us for years now.
Jun. 4, 2006 - Adam's birthday
Well my baby is now 2! It is so hard to believe he actually is 2 already! We had a party for him Friday night at the house, with a bonfire, tons of kids and a pinata! What else could a little boy want? He got tons of wonderful presents, I got him a fancy wooden stacking block thing, and some wooden instrument, and a little stuffed plushy frog we named rubbit.lol It was wonderful!
Then last night, saturday we decided to be lazy around the house and then build another little campfire and roast marshmellows in the backyard! Yum Yum!
We also started Charlotte's Web, which I read to the boys around the fire! Scott said it looked like a baby biker party, with the tricycles all around the fire, then the kids riding them all over the yard.lol
School last week was kind of simple, we got thru all the ambleside readings and we did 3 days of reading, writing and math! We had company all week, so we didn't really have time and such! But the kids did get to play with 4 kids all week! So that was wonderful! We had a blast as a family!
This week, we will just go back to normal! Clay will be done with his first term eather this week or the next! So he will be done with term 1 of first grade, when he isn't "legally" in first till next fall! So I am pretty happy about that.lol Just because this is my first child and the first homeschooler in eather family, so I know if I don't keep him a bit above the curve they get all weird. Also I am not doing a normal school at home so it makes things a little diffrent.lol But no fear, I will not sacrfice his happyness over it, we just started a few months before the other kids, and we are doing year round school because honestly it is no big deal at all.
Now Adam and Jonah really aren't in school yet, I will probley start preschool with Jonah in the fall when he turns 4 learning his letters and numbers and such. But they all sit around and listen to the readings in school and such!lol We finished the biography of benjamin franklin this week which was really neat! I need to sit down and finish the tempest and we will be sitting pretty!
And this week I also need to pull out the wonderful HET and get it going!
Well gotta go and get ready for church.
May. 27, 2006 - fri may 27th,2006
Well we went to the beach today! I was a blast when I get the time I will be posting pictures! We went with some dear friends and had a complete blast! We found a baby hammerhead that had washed up on shore, it was really gross but neat at the same time! I mean a shark! A hammerhead sharker! That is kinda scarey when you think about it, since we are there so much, swimming with the sharks.lol We also found crabs, tons and tons of crabs and some sand dollars! And some sort of mushroom in the sea. It was really a blast! I can't wait till we go back!
Lori
