Keeper Of the Home

• Jul. 11, 2008 - Sadly, Our last Anniversary

Well, I am sure everyone is waiting for this update on how our anniversary went.  I fixed my husband's favorite meal...Japanese Stir Fry, Sweet Carrots, and some Homemade Banana Bread.  I also went and got a small chocolate cake from the grocery store and had them put "I Love You" on it.  I tried to find him a single red rose, but had to get 2 roses with some other stuff in it....along with an anniversary card.  I spent a long time getting ready...fixing my hair/make-up just the way he likes it.  And of course, I used plenty of his favorite body spray...White tea and ginger by Bath & Bodyworks,  So, I got there around 9pm....the children weren't asleep yet, so I had to wait out in my car until 9:30pm.  I met him on the porch, and the first thing he said to me was "Why are you here?"  "You need to go home." And then he saw all the food I had laying on the table and said  "I already ate with the children."  I was really hurt and couldn't believe how he was acting. He had agreed to us having dinner together for our anniversary on Monday night of this week. Finally after much pleading,he went inside and got two plates and forks.  I wasn't given the pleasure of sitting inside at the kitchen table, instead we sat on the floor of his workshop(thankfully, I already had a blanket in my van to sit on) and ate dinner.  He accusingly told me that everyone in his whole family and mine knew that I was there tonight...I haven't talked to anyone in mine or his family in weeks.  The only person in the world I have talked to is my friend Jenny, and I really don't know why anyone would know or even care if I was there with my husband.  So, anyway, he says that both our families are watching tonight with a "soap opera" interest.  If everyone is so interested in our relationship, why don't they help????  Anyway, the evening was terrible. We tried talking about the child-custody case and going to court.  He basically said that if I don't give in to what he wants, he will not see or have anything to do with me anymore.  What he wants is full custody of the children with me getting them only 2 weekends a month.  I told him that I want shared custody...that is EQUAL time with the children for both of us.  The children need us both.  I also told him that he has already taken away my family, my home, my children, he has turned everyone in my family against me, said things about me behind my back that aren't true(like telling his family and mine that I am stalking him), he has also talked to my ex-husband and I am not able to see my older children...I really have nothing else I can possibly lose. So, even though I don't have a lawyer, I am not afraid to go to court.  There is nothing more that he can take away from me.  After that, he held me for awhile and as always, when we see each other, we were together.  Of course, he always tells me that it is only s@x to him, not love.  I am sure you all think I am crazy to love such a man, but I do, and when I am with him, it IS because i love him.  As I was leaving, he told me not to ever come back over.  He gave me a hug and kissed me good-bye...I feel used and so sad.  So, I guess my magical evening turned into the evening from h@ll.  I guess we are going to court...I am sure it will drag on forever...I am sure that my name will be drug through the mud.  All I can do is to tell my side of things.  I did let him know that even when we are in court, I will not say anything bad about him...I don't fight dirty...that is just not me.  I do plan to tell the judge that he is a wonderful father, and then tell the honest truth about myself. That is all I can do, and I'll have to leave the rest in God's hands.  So ladies, keep praying...I am still hoping to witness a miracle in our marriage!

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