I had a similar experience with my oldest daughter being the mommy to my son. She was rather bossy which made me stop and reflect how I was addressing her. I found myself to be rather bossy. First I made a concerted effort to change my own way of being the mommy. Then each time she took control of her brother we would lovingly discuss the borders of authority and in what ways she was allowed to guide him. We also discussed how she could say the same thing to him without being "bossy." After several years of repetition and work on all our parts, my daughter has found her place in the family structure and how she can guide her brother without taking control of him. I don't think there is an easy fix.

Since you asked, one of the things I do is NEVER tell them they are the momma. When they are taking care of their babies, I always say "You will make a great momma SOMEDAY." And when my 6yr gets too bossy with her other sisters, I make her into a servant. For example, she will do one of the chores for the other person (like if it is 4yr turn to sweep, the 6yr will sweep in service to her sister). Or she will give her sister the bigger serving, or let her sister go first when we play a game. Or she will clean up everyone's toys during clean up time.

I hope that this helps. I appreciate you visiting my blog and look forward to more entries from you!

Well, I'm not sure many would appreciate this response, but one time, my children were discussing how "easy" it is to have my job. That is, the job of being "mom". At first I got really upset. Then, after discussing it with my husband, we decided that mom was going on "strike". I did nothing...and I do mean nothing, for 2 days. After that, we sat down as a family and discussed how the two days had gone. The children learned all the things "mom" does, and really didn't want to have to go through that again! :) Anyway, that would be my suggestion. Not let her be "mom" but let her do your job for a day. Then sit down and talk with her about the things that were difficult for her to do, and why at 8 she isn't ready to be "mom". Great learning can happen! Good luck to you! I'll be praying for you!

~Cindy

Maybe you could try assigning her time when she gets to look after sister, kind of like babysitting when you are busy doing something else. Then we she is not "assigned" and starts bossing, you can remind her she is currently not responsible for her...so act like her sister and not her mother. LOL

My eldest ds has bit of that problem only in a tattle tale way. He thinks it is his duty to report what his 3 siblings are doing wrong (always offenses not things they are doing good). We finally had to say, "it's not your responsibility to be the family nark"....unless of course it's an emergency.

Jennie von Eggers
www.TimesTales.com
www.CreativeHomeschooling.com