God is doing so much right now that I am just plain worn out.  It's good but it is hard.  Growing pains.  And I can barely articulate it so I know I won't be able to write it all out here but I'll give it a shot.

We have joined a new small group at church.  We had been leading and hosting one for a few years in our home until we got Betsie.  I had not realized how much I missed it until we joined a new one a few weeks ago.  Last night I spent time at a restaurant with 5 other ladies from the group just talking and praying and learning so much.  One of the mothers has two grown children that were homeschooled and two that are the ages of my oldest girls.  She is such an encouragement and such a wealth of knowledge...the godly kind (wisdom!).  The other ladies are such humble examples to me too.  They love their families and God and I know they pray for each other (and now me too).  I am so thankful that God has led us to this group.  I am excited about what He will do in our hearts as we spend time together.

Most of what we discussed last night was about parenting.  I think when you have 6 mothers together this is just natural.  I was challenged in so many areas and I can't wait to have time to discuss it all with Jason.  We talked about everything from when to allow your child to take communion to handling tattling in a Biblical way to submission to authority and so much more.  I could barely sleep last night.  I have been so frustrated lately as a mother that I was thirsty for this.  The best part is that these ladies continually went back to scripture.  This was not a meeting to find the best tips for how to get your child to clean up her mess...it was a time of exhorting one another to rely on God and His word as we seek to lead little ones to Him. 

As we shared prayer requests I could barely figure where to start.  So I asked that they pray for me in setting the proper atmosphere in our home.  I shared that I want to respond to disobedience and other problems with my children in a way that brings peace to our home and family.  Yelling and lecturing don't seem to work.    Jason told me the other night that I really need to stop measuring a day's success by our girls' behavior/attitudes but by whether or not I was obedient to Christ in my thoughts, words, responses etc.  I heard another woman say something similar once.  She goes over the fruits of the spirit each night and asks God to show her where she exhibited these fruits and where she failed that day.  Big sigh...  I have so much to learn.

However, it is peaceful for the moment.  Little one is napping and Big ones are reading quietly.  I am about to spend some time in Colossians and see what God has for me there today.  (I woke up late this morning and failed to read anything this morning except a little at the breakfast table to my girls from Matthew.)  I am desparate for His word right now.  I want it and I definitely need it.  So it's time to get to it.  I'm listening Lord...