My girl...

It's been exactly one year since we received our little one in Changsha, Hunan.  She was a 14 pound (and we think undernourished) scared little person.  She could sit up, roll over, and pull up.  She could not sit up from lying down, crawl, or walk.  Two months after we received her she was walking everywhere.  She can run, climb, stack blocks, talk (individual words only so far), undress (I'm not fond of this achievement.), and has a healthy attachement to her family.  She loves her grandparents and other family members and will go to others after a few minutes of checking them out and seeing that we accept them.  (like my pal Hollie!)  She eats well and has gained about 6 pounds in the year we have had her.  She reminds us to pray at every meal, usually before we're all at the table and ready!  She is addicted to a certain teddy bear and blankie.  She likes books and songs with motions, meaning Zaccheus and Itsy Bitsy Spider are big here these days, along with Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.  Betsie is more active than I remember her sisters being, so that means you better keep an eye on her all the time!  I am thankful for certain videos and toys that can hold her attention and let me teach the bigger girls. 

I am so thankful for the last year we have had with Betsie.  It has been a challenge going back to the baby/toddler stage, but so worth it.  She has brought a lot of joy to our family.

I am thinking of her birth family today and praying for them.  I am also praying about how to talk to Betsie about her beginnings when she starts wondering about it.  I already pray for them and thank God for letting me be her mommy when I pray with her at night, so she won't remember a time when this wasn't talked about.   I am also thinking of our wonderful travel group and their little ones.  They are all thriving in their families too and I miss them!  My travel mate and friend Heather sent me some new pictures today from "Gotcha Day" and I was so excited!  Heather, I have a few of Julia from China I can email you too!

The plan for celebrating is a Chinese dinner and decorations.  Maybe some Chinese clothing if anyone is up to it.  Since we just started the Feingold plan, this will all be at home instead of a Chinese restaurant.  I am making chicken fried rice, spring rolls, and jello for the picky eater who shall remain nameless.

Here are the pictures Heather sent me.

This would have been just after she was handed to us.  Notice she is NOT happy about  me holding her.   That must be a hard thing for the caregivers to do.  Jason and I are trying to manage paperwork, cameras, and a crying baby.  There is no big ceremony.   They compare your paperwork to your passprt and hand you the child.  It happens really fast!

This one is a few minutes later.  Betsie has stopped crying but she didn't give one hoot about the doll I was trying to show her.  She never has cared about that doll!  The family on the left  are some of our travel mates.  They don't live too far from us and their daughter is doing really well too.  Don't they look happy?!

And here she is now...so big and so curious and so full of life!  We love you Betsie!

It's June!  That means we'll celebrate our first Gotcha Day anniversary this month, along with Father's Day, Jason's birthday, and the last day of school one week from today.  I had planned on posting pictures from our trip to China in regular posts but decided to create a little slideshow instead.  It's up a little early because I expected it to take me FOREVER to finish it!  It was much easier than I thought, especially since I had a little help from my friend figuring out how to get it on the blog.  (Thanks Hollie!)

The sterile looking hallway, highchairs, etc. are from Betsie's orphanage in Zhuzhou, Hunan.  It wasn't a bad place.  It just wasn't home.  Of course the saddest thing to me about those who live in China's orphanages is that no one is there to share the gospel with them.  That breaks my heart!  PLEASE say a prayer for those children and their caregivers.  It's one thing to spend this life in a "blah" environment without knowing Jesus, but it's their eternity that is most urgent.  It's this understanding that makes me so excited to see God's plan for Betsie.  He is so gracious to bring us together.

Happy June and Happy Summer!   

Jen

Adoption Journey

This time last year we were on pins and needles waiting for the China Center for Adoption Affairs to get referrals out.  We had been logged in with them for eleven months, but we were originally told that we could expect a referral in about 6 months.  The wait was no big deal until those last few months...then it seemed never ending.  The wait has continued to lengthen so now we feel like we got in just in time.  We were excited and nervous and couldn't wait to see the little person who would become one of the family. 

Our referral anniversary is actually this Friday.  We got the call just before lunch time.  Jason had just walked in the door for lunch, but I was in the back of the house and didn't know he was home yet.  When the phone rang, I saw Christian World Adoption on the caller ID and my heart stopped.  When I picked it up, I heard Jason's voice on the other end yelling, "PRAISE THE LORD!"  I decided to just listen in and take notes (except my hand was shaking).  But Jason didn't have a pen so I decided to speak up.  I was ready to hear about our girl!  I remember our case worker spoke very slowly and spelled everything.  She had done this so many times that she knew adoptive parents were concentrating on breathing as much as writing down the details. 

We had been waiting to hear her Chinese name before making a final middle name decision.  Jason said I could name her anything as long as we called her Betsie.  So I went with Elizabeth Julia Ying.  But she is such a Betsie!  They called her Yinghong in the orphanage.

It's been fun to remember all the emotions of a year ago.  God answered so many prayers.  He showed us so much love and kindness in giving us the gift of Betsie and letting us experience the miracle of adoption.  Our hearts are still with other adoptive parents and orphans all over the world.  I used to wonder if people could love adopted children as much as biological children.  Believe me...it's a non-issue.  Betsie is ours and we love her deeply.  We feel the weight of leading her into a relationship with Christ and training her to be like Him.  We pray for her and with her.  (She is so cute when she sqints her eyes and folds her little hands to pray!)  And we praise God for bringing her to us.

Betsie's referral picture.  We first saw her face on April 28, 2006, the day after the phone call that changed our lives!

Here she is now.  (The smile usually comes AFTER the flash!)

When we get to the anniversary of our China trip, I plan to post some pictures that never made our adoption blog.  Here's a preview of what's to come!

I am sorry I haven't been updating this blog much lately.  We are getting ready for our trip to China and it is keeping us pretty busy!  I will hopefully get back to regular blogging here when our new school year starts back in August.  I have been planning a lot already for the new year.

For now, if you want to keep up with our adoption and trip to China, you can read about it at www.journeytome.com .  The username is China06 and the password is Betsie.  We'll be leaving on June 23rd and returning home on July 7th.  There are many paryer requests!  Safe travel, smooth adjustment period, health, Rachel and Mary Evelyn and our parents while we're gone, no glitches with customs or any appointments or any paper work, etc.

Thanks for checking in.  I'm not done here, just taking a little break. 

4/28/06 Update:  Scroll down to see pictures!

We got our referral today!  I will post pictures tomorrow...those are on the way.  Today was just a phone call and some more details by email.  Believe me, we are celebrating!  This has been a wonderful day and we are so thankful to God for His provision for our family.

Here's the details...

Currently she is Xiao Ying Hong and living in Hunan, China.  We are going to be calling her Betsie, but her full name will be Elizabeth Julia Ying.  She was born on August 7, 2005.  My sister had the closest birthday guess (August 15) so I'll bring her a special surprise back from China.

If you want more details, go to www.journeytome.com .  Username: China06  -  Password:  Betsie .  I hope you don't mind the lack of details here, but I have typed so many emails and told so many people today that I am going to sign off for now. 

Thanks for the prayers! 

I set up a separate blog for our trip to China.  It's not because I am trying to confuse everybody...really.  I have good reasons! 

First of all, it's only temporary.  It's a free blog until August 19.  So let's pray we're home long before that!  At that time, we can purchase a CD of the whole blog...I think that will be a great keepsake, and it's one of the main reasons I want a separate blog.  Also, it's easier to get pictures on there, and I know we will be glad to save a few steps in China.  I hear it takes forever to do that sort of thing there.  Third reason...Jason is not allowed to add entries here ,   but the other one is a family blog.  I think it will be neat to have his perspective on the trip and the whole adoption process.  Last reason, not everyone in my life knows about my blog here.  I don't mind if they stumble upon it, but I don't hand out the address to everyone.  However, I DO want to be able to share our adoption journey with anyone who wants to read it!

So here is the link to the other blog...

 www.journeytome.com 

username: China06

password: Betsie

I will post a referral picture here and a reminder before we travel about the other blog.  But other than that, I will try to put all the adoption stuff over there so it can be on the CD. 

My sister-in-law Liz had a pretty baby quilt made for Betsie.  It looks great in the bedroom she will share with Rachel.  Here are a couple of pictures.  (This is not the 100 good wishes quilt, by the way.)

Here is a picture of all my parents' grandkids. 

Other news:  someone from our adoption agency emailed us and asked us for our case number with the US Consulate in Guangzhou, China.  She said it would be helpful to have that when they make our appointment with them.  Hmmmmm....she never asked for this before.  Could a referral be coming soon? 

My family has gotten into guessing Betsie's birthday.  Whoever is closest gets something special from China...like chopsticks!   (Okay, I'll try to find something a little better than that.)  And if you are in our family and haven't guessed yet, it will be TOO LATE once the referral comes!  Here are the guesses so far...

Mom - October 24

Dad - September 17

Liz - October 30th

Jordan - September 26

Laura - August 15

Jason - October 9

Jennifer - Septmeber 30

Rachel - June 10

Mary Evelyn - October 3

*I'm editing here because more people have made a guess for the birthday.  These are more family, friends, and people who work with Jason. 

Papa - October 15

Nana - October 1 

Janet - September 10

Mike - October 10

Lisa  - September 21

Hollie - October 29

Jim - September 15

And even more guesses:

Billy - September 18

Will - October 18

Mrs. K - April 16

Alyssa - October 9

Libby - November 1 (I hope you win Libby!)

Looks like my guess of 9/30 doesn't have the same odds it had when it was just our little household guessing!  You people must think chopsticks are a GREAT prize! 

We're all trying to guess Betsie's birthday.  We are expecting the referral this month or next. (Although I refuse to make that prediction again!   )  Whoever is the closest gets to pick where we go out to eat to celebrate the night the referral comes.  We requested a baby as young as possible, but no older than 15 months.  So anywhere between about 6 to 12 months for the referral would be a good guess.  And you think it's hard to guess a birthday when someone is pregnant!  Rachel has picked June 10.  I said September 30.  Mary Evelyn said "October the three."  Jason hasn't made his guess yet.  I hope Mary Evelyn wins because I want a young baby.

The other thing we're doing is trying to decide on a middle name.  The first name is Elizabeth which means "dedicated to God."  I love that.  We didn't research meanings of names with our other babies, and we actually ended up with one whose name means "bitter hazelnut."  Sounds like a bad cup of coffee.  (Mary = bitter, Evelyn =hazelnut)  Oops.  Rachel means "innocent lamb."  At least that one is a sweet meaning.  Her middle name is my maiden name.

Back to Betsie's middle name.  I have been pulling for Joy all along because this baby will (and already has!) bring us joy.  But lately I have tried to find a name that means "wait on the Lord" or "hopeful" or something along those lines...because we are learning all kinds of lessons about Who is really in control of our adoption and everything else.    I haven't found any names I like with those meanings.  A Chinese name we like is Mei, which can mean "beautiful."  And Mei Mei means "little sister."  That's cute, right?  (We would only use one Mei, not two.)  Jason says just squish them both together and let her name be Elizabeth Joymei.  Not sure about that.  But maybe.  Rachel says use her Chinese name if we can pronounce it.  Mary Evelyn votes for Joy.  She could have two middle names, I guess.  We have also considered Laine (for Elaine, my mom's name) and Grace.  Eveybody has an opinion when it comes to names.  What's yours?  I can't promise we'll use it and you won't win a prize, but we're open to suggestions (even names I didn't mention here!). 

Isn't she cute? 

Well, I almost have enough squares to make a 100 Good Wishes Quilt for Betsie.  These squares came from all over the country, mostly from other adoptive parents, but several from friends and family.  I am expecting around another 20 in the mail over the next few weeks.  Now... how all this fabric is supposed to become a quilt is beyond me.  I can sew on a button, but even that is a major project.  I'll be hiring someone for sure. 

Here's what we have so far!

I just love that UPS guy!  He always brings the neatest things!    He's kind of like Santa Clause for grown ups.  Today he brought a package from our adoption agency loaded with Chinese gifts.  It had a note from the China program staff saying they were thinking of us.  (For about three months in a row they have had to tell us that our referral has not come yet.)  It was a nice surprise. 

Here's what we got!

The little dress is doll size.  The bigger one is about Mary Evelyn's size.  The skinny things are 5 pairs of chopsticks.  I'm sharing the bags with Rachel and Mary Evelyn.  Mary Evelyn gets the pink dress and Rachel gets that green bracelet under the red box (what it came in).  I think I'll save the doll dress for Betsie to have in a few years. 

Thank you to Kindred Heart for sharing such encouraging scripture with me on waiting for God's timing.  Really, that is what I needed.  Our case worker confirmed to us just a while ago that we have again missed the referral cutoff...last month by only 6 days, this month by only 1 day.  That means it took China a month to get out 5 days worth of referrals and 4 months to cover the month of May..  I think they have set a new record!  (Again, our log in date with them was May 31, 2005.)

The only comfort I am finding today is in the truth of God's Word.  And for those of you who already love her too (like our very supportive family!), here is some truth to encourage you too!

But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord.  At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness.  Psalm 69:13

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! Psalm 40:1

Whom have I in heaven but you?  And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  Psalm 73:25-26

The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.  Do not forsake the work of your hands.  Psalm 138:8

Jason and I are choosing to believe that it is God, not the China Center for Adoption Affairs, that decides when our daughter will be placed in our arms...because that is the truth.  He is worthy to be praised, not only on the day we get the referral, but on these days when we are again told, "wait."

P.S.  Please say a prayer for Rachel.  She is getting tired of the wait.  Pray that one day when she is waiting on the Lord for something, that she would remember us as a righteous example. 

That was the subject line in the email we got from our case worker yesterday.  It was not what we wanted or what we prayed for, but it is what it is!  New referrals are coming out of China next week and they will only cover log in dates from May 13-May 25th.  Our log in date is May 31st...so surely we have got to be next, right?

Now we have a bit more red tape to get through.  Our fingerprints expire June 9th so we need to get those redone.  We are trying to figure out how to go about that.  From checking around, it seems that not all CIS offices do things the same way, so Monday we need to call the Charlotte office and find out how to proceed from here.  We do not need fingerprints to expire while we're out of the country!  You have to have your fingerprints taken so an FBI background check can be done and CIS approval can be given to bring an orphan into the US.  It's a VITAL step in the adoption process, and one we thought we had completed!  But the approval is only good for 15 months.  Oh well. 

The good news is that now we can probably know for sure that we will get a referral within a month - give or take a few days - and travel in May or June.  We may just spend our anniversary in China this year.  The other silver lining in this is that it should not be too hard to get our required 180 days of school in before we go, which means we'll all get to just enjoy Betsie for a few weeks when she gets here instead of trying to just get through those last days of school.  And tax season will be way over for Jason.

I'll be sure and post any good news as soon as I have some!

I am still collecting quilt squares for our 100 Good Wishes Quilt.  I have gotten a few in from the other parents in the swap through our agency.  And today someone posted this website.  Those are some BEAUTIFUL quilts!  I am inspired! 

So I have been looking for a yahoo group to join so I can get in on some more quilt swaps.  I'd love a quilt big enough for a full size bed.  I am certain it won't be complete before Betsie gets home, but maybe by Christmas or the one year anniversary of her adoption...

***Update:  The quilt suares should be a 7 inch square of 100% cotton fabric!  Thanks!!***

Traditionally, when the Chinese are expecting a baby, friends and family welcome the new arrival with a 100 good wishes quilt.  What is this you ask?  Basically, the friends and family each share a square of fabric (100% cotton) cut to a specified size to be sewn into a quilt for the new baby.  Along with the quilt square, they write a "good wish" for the baby on a piece of paper. 

We are hoping to have 100 good wishes for our little girl! 

Some of the adoptive parents from our agency are conducting a quilt square swap for our babies.  So far there are about 12 or so of us, which means I may have about a fourth of the quilt squares I need.  Would any of you be willing to add to our quilt and send good wishes?

Here's the details.  Once I hear back from the lady coordinating the swap, I'll let those interested know what size to cut the quilt square.  (update: 7 inch squares)  Again, it needs to be 100% cotton.  You can choose whatever fabric you think is appropriate or use a scrap that is special to you!  Then write a good wish for little Betsie.  I want to put all these wishes in a pocket sized photo album for her, so nothing huge!  But be as creative with this as you wish.  Oh, and if you glue a little piece of your fabric onto your wish, then later on, Betsie will know who gave her the quilt piece! 

Here's a little more background in case it helps you with your wish.  Her name will be Elizabeth, which means dedicated to God.  We will call her Betsie.  We chose that spelling for Betsie because of Betsie ten Boom, sister of Corrie ten Boom.  But I'll post another time about the name.  Anyway, we are leaning toward Joy for a middle name, but that is uncertain until we know her Chinese name!  As you know, Betsie will have 2 big sisters when she comes home (and Rose, the super weinee dog).  And we requested an infant...as young as possible and no older than 15 months.  We are guessing she will be around a year old.  Any other questions? 

If you are interested and email me, I'll give you our mailing address and let you know the size to cut your square as soon as I know!    rachandmary@yahoo.com

And if you know me in real life (not just in blog life), let friends and family who might want to do this know what I am up to...or just tell them to read this!  Thanks!!!

Our adoption agency is expecting a new batch of referrals from China this week...probably tomorrow!  This batch will not include our referral; it includes those families whose documents were logged in to their system by May 15, 2005.  Our log in date is May 31, 2005.  So we are thinking that we will be in the next group!!!  (Referrals come out about once a month, and it is all done in a very orderly, systematic sort of way.)

Last time I checked, you usually travel about 6 to 8 weeks after you get the referral, but I need to check that again.  Our fingerprints expire in June.  So our prayer request is that we can be back home with our child before the fingerprints expire.  Having to re-do them would cause more expense and delay.   NOT what we want, of course!  I figure if we get our referral by the first week of March, we'll be fine. 

So we are excited and ready for that referral.  And of course as soon as we get that, we'll be extra busy again.  After months of just waiting and waiting, we'll have tons to do.  But believe me, at this point, we are READY!!!