God is doing so much right now that I am just plain worn out.  It's good but it is hard.  Growing pains.  And I can barely articulate it so I know I won't be able to write it all out here but I'll give it a shot.

We have joined a new small group at church.  We had been leading and hosting one for a few years in our home until we got Betsie.  I had not realized how much I missed it until we joined a new one a few weeks ago.  Last night I spent time at a restaurant with 5 other ladies from the group just talking and praying and learning so much.  One of the mothers has two grown children that were homeschooled and two that are the ages of my oldest girls.  She is such an encouragement and such a wealth of knowledge...the godly kind (wisdom!).  The other ladies are such humble examples to me too.  They love their families and God and I know they pray for each other (and now me too).  I am so thankful that God has led us to this group.  I am excited about what He will do in our hearts as we spend time together.

Most of what we discussed last night was about parenting.  I think when you have 6 mothers together this is just natural.  I was challenged in so many areas and I can't wait to have time to discuss it all with Jason.  We talked about everything from when to allow your child to take communion to handling tattling in a Biblical way to submission to authority and so much more.  I could barely sleep last night.  I have been so frustrated lately as a mother that I was thirsty for this.  The best part is that these ladies continually went back to scripture.  This was not a meeting to find the best tips for how to get your child to clean up her mess...it was a time of exhorting one another to rely on God and His word as we seek to lead little ones to Him. 

As we shared prayer requests I could barely figure where to start.  So I asked that they pray for me in setting the proper atmosphere in our home.  I shared that I want to respond to disobedience and other problems with my children in a way that brings peace to our home and family.  Yelling and lecturing don't seem to work.    Jason told me the other night that I really need to stop measuring a day's success by our girls' behavior/attitudes but by whether or not I was obedient to Christ in my thoughts, words, responses etc.  I heard another woman say something similar once.  She goes over the fruits of the spirit each night and asks God to show her where she exhibited these fruits and where she failed that day.  Big sigh...  I have so much to learn.

However, it is peaceful for the moment.  Little one is napping and Big ones are reading quietly.  I am about to spend some time in Colossians and see what God has for me there today.  (I woke up late this morning and failed to read anything this morning except a little at the breakfast table to my girls from Matthew.)  I am desparate for His word right now.  I want it and I definitely need it.  So it's time to get to it.  I'm listening Lord...

I just read this book by Elisabeth Elliot.  The story is a very familiar one,  but just in case someone is not familiar with it, it's the story of 5 young missionary families serving in the jungles of Ecaduor in the 1950's.  The five husbands were martyred trying to reach the hostile Auca Indians.  Many of those Indians eventually came to faith in Christ.  (I am cutting it so ridiculously short...it's an amazing story that highlights God's grace and ability to do ANYTHING in His will!)

Anyway, here is a quote by Nate Saint (one of the 5 martyred missionaries) written in his journal just 3 weeks before he was killed. 

     "As we have a high old time this Christmas, may we who know Christ hear the cry of the ****ed as they hurtle headlong into the Christless night without ever a chance.  May we be moved with compassion as our Lord was.  May we shed tears of repentance for these we have failed to bring out of darkness.  Beyond the smiling scenes of Bethlehem may we see the crushing agony of Golgotha.  May God give us a new vision of His will concerning the lost and our responsibility."

The book is full of journal writings from all five of the men.  I was so challenged by their faith and eternal perspective.  They seemed to have a grasp on the urgency of telling as many as possible about the grace of God.  As I read I couldn't help but praise God, for only He could have made the "savages" into the gentle servants they have become.  (or even saved a wretch like me!)  He alone can change a heart. 

*I just noticed homeschool blogger wouldn't let me post one of the words in the quote.  Oops.

I've been reading the Girltalk blog for several months.  It is one of my favorite websites and has had quite an impact on my spiritual growth, which eventually spills over into the lives of others, especially my dear family!  I highly recommend it to anyone wanting to learn more about biblical femininity.

Anyway, the Girltalkers are about to begin a new book club selection.  This time it will be Elizabeth Prentiss, More Love to Thee by Sharon James.  The book is a biography of the woman who wrote the hymn, More Love to Thee and the book, Stepping Heavenward.  My book came today and I can't wait to get started!  I have a couple of other "Elizabeth books" to finish before I dive in though.  (books by Elizabeth George and Elisabeth Elliot)

If you are interested in participating, get your book and watch the Girltalk blog for details!