We had a blast at Family Camp at Big Sandy, TX, recently (International Alert Academy).  For those who'd like to see a few pictures, go to my xanga.  I have two posts on family camp with a family portrait post sandwiched between. I highly recommend this as your next family vacation (October in northeast Texas).  It was so nice to have a full week of fun together in one place, meals and lodging provided. Ahhhh. :-)

http://www.xanga.com/mom_of_seven

Hope everyone is having a great fall homeschooling.  Monday was one of those horrible, terrible, very bad days for me--late sleeping, pouring rain, splitting headache.  Ya know how it is.  I feel *so* much better now that the weather has settled into sunny and beautiful.

I am off the THSC leadership retreat with a friend.  An unexpected blessing...I wasn't going, but another friend isn't going to be able to make it, so I'm taking her spot. 

Have a good weekend, everyone.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

• 

  I have been invited to post for the homeschool open house...so I will first give a quick intro, and then I will share some notes from a talk I gave about a year ago on the first (and last ) five things I have learned through homeschooling.

  I have 7 children, ages 23, 20, 15, 13, 11, 9, and 6.  I have been married 27 years, and I have homeschooled 17 years.  (Visit my xanga and you'll see pictures of all of us!) We have been in the Advanced Training Institute all that time.  I have easily and successfully taught all my chidlren to read using Bob Jones First Grade English Skills (except my first--I taught him to read before his one year of public school Kindergarten...not really knowing what I was doing...just telling him the sounds the letters make! He did the BJU program the next year to make sure I hadn't missed anything!)  ATI is a Bible-based unit study program which covers vocabulary, NewTestament Greek, history, science, math principles, law/government, medicine, counseling, etc., with spiritual analogies and application.  I have supplemented with various things over the years in math and language arts, mostly Learning Language Arts Through Literature and Saxon math...and with a *ton* of books.  Regular, ordinary, interesting books!  

  I have graduated 2 children. My oldest is a junior at University of Dallas (no, we aren't Catholic, in case you're wondering; we're Baptist).  My second-born has taken independent study courses through Moody Bible Institute.  She is called to missions and spends most of her time serving the Lord in various capacities and through various ministries.  Last year I began teaching 5 grades at once!  That was interesting!!   I also began running a Smoothing the Way group.  Through those two things, I learned a great deal *more* about homeschooling than I had learned when I wrote the following (namely, more about each child's unique abilities and individual learning styles).  I hope you enjoy these notes, which I used to share at a Mom's Night Out last year.

  First (and Last) 5 Things I’ve Learned About the Homeschooling Life….

  By Gayle Furlong

  February 2006

   

  I learned many things my first year or two of homeschooling.  As I was thinking back on that, I realized that I have had to relearn and reapply some of these same things in recent months, as I look at my family in our current situation.  We have changed.  I have changed.  Our needs have changed.  The responsibilities involved in educating our children at home have not changed, but I see them in different ways now.

   

  I hope these basic truths will be a help and encouragement to you.  I am still learning and growing, but these are the 5 most significant things that came to mind when I thought of what I had gained in 16 years of homeschooling….

   

   

  1.     Burnout is real

   

  -         Basically the same as clinical depression

  -         Tired, confused, down, feel like a failure, frustration level high, angry

  -         Triggered by stress from unmet expectations (which I will discuss in a minute)

   

  Then (1990)

  -         husband busy w/ residency (not the perfect, involved leader the books told me to look for!)

  -         I was just learning how to “do school” at home (ideas of how that should work)

  -         Young children…pregnancy and illness (physical exhaustion and stress)

  -         Move; new baby; nursing (at end of first year)

  -         Trying to be “perfect” –magazine “cover family”

  -         Fatigue

  -         All this plus normal everyday chores, sibling conflict, etc.

  -         Had my first case of “burnout” about December of my first year!

   

  **We need to realize that it is normal and natural to feel overwhelmed…even defeated…when we place more and more pressure and responsibility on ourselves.

  -         learn to ask—is this what the Lord wants me to do?

  -         What does my husband really want me to focus on?

  -         Do I need help?  It isn’t wrong to need help! It doesn’t make you a failure!

  (I did not know all this back then…took me many years to understand these truths.)

  -         read, read, read; join a support group; find a mentor; rethink your educational approach; get discipline and home management under control first

   

  Now (2005-06)

  -         husband  busy w/ practice (regularly works 15 hrs. a day)

  -         creeping toward more traditional “school” at home because of so many ages—result: less freedom for creativity, outside time, other activities.  Overwhelms us all (including children)

  -         not enough living and joy of life

  -         trying to meet everyone’s needs:

   

  -    husband—be there for him with his crazy hours!

  -         college-aged son (figuring out my role, being available whenever needed)

  -         graduate, single young lady (another “mom” in the home; her needs for counsel, encouragement, freedom)

  -         high schooler—sort of—adolescence, not keeping up with “school”

  -         jr. higher—more adolescent needs; personality differences

  -         late elementary—different personality needs

  -         early elementary—still needs lots of my interaction, teaching, supervision

  -         preschooler—adult daughter helps, but he is still needing mommy time and attention!

  -         my own parents—want to be called, visited with

  -         church commitments, support group service, etc.

  -         huge volume of work—I don’t even try to “do it all” but even w/the help of my children—which is essential, I still have the responsibility of so much—ensuring someone is cleaning, taking care of animals and yard, shopping, etc.

  -         sixteen years of homeschooling—began to be a little “tired” of it all

   

  **Same cure:

  -   realize what was happening to me

  -   admit tendency to depression/anxiety (runs in family)

  -   cry out to God and husband for help

  -         seek God’s will

  -         cut back on academics to allow for “real life” experiences

  -         take care of me (rest, exercise, nutrition, medication if needed, time outs)

   

  **I don’t have all the answers here.  I just want other mothers to know that homeschooling is a huge responsibility in addition to the enormous job of being a keeper at home, helpmeet, etc.  I want to encourage the discouraged or overwhelmed to get some help, rethink what you are doing, back off some, relax, remember to enjoy your children. Do not condemn yourself.

   

   

  2.     Give your expectations to God!

   

  -         Unmet expectations contribute to burnout

   

  Then (some mentioned before)

  -         husband’s leadership

  -         homeschool results (academic and character)

  -         “perfect children”…really, my reputation

  -         my time, schedules, how the day flows

   

  **all these areas had to be yielded to God

  -         leadership—focus on my responsibility

  -         results—same

  -         reputation—same

  -         time/schedule—same

  --and leave the results to God!

   

  Now (like I said, I am still learning!!)

  Recent unmet expectations:

  -         husband’s involvement

  -         adult children’s choices

       -they won’t all go into full-time Christian service (ha ha)

       -…or even read their Bible every day

  -         fear of the future—what will become of them if I don’t stamp out ___________or instill ___________? (again…my own pride?)

   

  **expectations of others puts them in bondage

  -         I choose to free them from my expectations

  -         Focus on my responsibilities and leave the results to God

  -         Be a willing vessel in the hands of the Lord

  -         Lose my personal agenda…God’s plans may be different

  -         Be more understanding of others

  -         Side note: if you don’t model this, the result will be children and husband will have a long list of their expectations of you, which you can never meet—the result of that will be conflict, disappointment, feelings of failure, hopelessness (in other words, repeat burnout)

  -         All should strive to please the Lord—and all should accept each other’s best efforts at that

   

   

  3.     Every child is unique

   

  Then

  -         taught first-born to read before Kindergarten, just by answering his questions (wasn’t officially “homeschooling” at this point! He was just ready! I didn’t even know what I was doing!)

  -         first year homeschooling—heavy curriculum (BJU First Grade English Skills, spelling, math, plus ATI WBs); sweet little second born 3yo just sat and sweetly colored for hours

   

  Later

  -         second born needed 2 years of “kindergarten” plus first grade to learn to read.  Very different from firstborn—wondered what I was doing “wrong”

  -         third born learned to read at 4—couldn’t have stopped her if I had wanted…and so it goes…they are all different

   

  Now

  -         every level of academic ability

  -         all kinds of talents and interests (art, music, languages, cooking, animals, etc.)

  -         all kinds of personalities and moods (joyful/moody; strong-willed/compliant; patient/impatient; sloppy/compulsively perfectionistic; self-starters/slothful; ADD/ADHD/focused; tomboy/ladylike; tough/easily “injured”, ETC!!)

  -         realizing that I have to stretch myself to meet their individual needs and struggles

  -         may need a different approach to each child (i.e., some can read and learn; others ‘space out’ and can’t learn just from studying a textbook)

  -         still a work in progress here!

   

   

  4.     Academics are secondary

   

  Then

  -         I have always tried to keep our focus on Scripture and character development

  -         Learned at first ATI conference: “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things (like academic achievement) shall be added to you as well….” I felt this applied to academics.  If we seek God first and His kingdom, he will make sure our children gain whatever skills and knowledge they will need to fulfill His will for them.

  -         I just trusted in this promise from the Bible.  I did not fret and worry about the future, about test scores, about college.  I focused on discipling my children in the ways of God.

   

  Now

  -         My confidence in God has wavered some as I have second-guessed my decisions for my older ones.  But God has been faithful.  I fear when I take my eyes off of Him.  I must constantly choose to walk by faith, not by sight, in this area.

  -         I have had to remind myself of this truth as my children entered high school.  It is so easy to let the world dictate “success” for your children.

  -         Much easier to slip into a “school” at home mentality as children reach teens.

  -         There is no “cookie cutter” plan for our children—each child has different God-given talents and abilities; they will all be different!

   

  -         Need to pray and set own goals and ask the Lord to help you achieve them:

   

  -         1) relationship with Jesus Christ—nothing else matters if my children are not headed to heaven

   

  -         2) family relationships—we will be family their entire lives; these relationships are so important. I have always seen siblings as the friends the Lord has provided for my children; in fact, if they couldn’t get along with each other, I would tell them, how could I allow them to try to get along with folks outside our family?

   

  -         3) ability to function in life—this is far beyond what the textbooks can teach; this is life skills—checkbook balancing, filling out forms at the doctor’s office, cooking, cleaning, child training, marriage and homeschooling wisdom, how to swim, ride a bike, drive a car, how to serve, manners, a strong work ethic

   

  -         4) head knowledge—way down on the priority list—if they learn to read, and they love to learn, and you teach them how to look up what they don’t know, they can always find out what they want to know.  I had my particular academic goals for my children—mostly things I felt I was not adequately educated in, like world history and world geography—but for the most part, I just focused on basic skills (reading, writing, math), their personal talents and interests (sign language, Russian, music, interior design, whatever), and supplemented with what I thought a well

That's because I try to keep up my Xanga instead.  Here's the address:

http://www.xanga.com/mom_of_seven

Come see me! I will try to come back and post homeschooly things again here soon.

Well, I tried.  I really did.  It was wonderful.  And then my computer "jumped" and when I came back to this page....it was all gone.

**sigh**  I'll try again later....maybe.

So, it's nearing the end of October.  How are we doing?  Well, the schedule is out the window, we spent this schoolday doing housecleaning, I've got the first cold of the season, along with dh and a few of the kiddos.  Cruising right along with normal, everyday life.

I am doing one of my infamous pendulum swings.  I seem to either run our homeschooling like a drill sergeant ("It's 11:05!  Why aren't you working on your spelling?!") or I swing way the other way and starting thinking, "Hey, it's fall.  The weather's gorgeous! The kids have multitudinous activities to choose from, there's a support group event coming up, there's a field trip coming up, there's a youth event coming up, there's a ministry opportunity coming up...  We need to be flexible!" Am I the only one who finds it hard to keep the balance between academics and life experiences at this time of year?

I have found it impossible to stick to any schedule when the holidays are on the horizon.  I have tried various ways to accommodate the holidays in our home schooling....a Christmas unit study....extra "home ec" making homemade Christmas gifts....incorporating musicals (both formal and homemade)....lots of extra special reading of those extra special holiday books.  I don't feel badly about what we do...I can count it as "credit" for some subject or the other.  But it does raise my blood pressure a little if we begin to fall behind in certain subjects. 

Don't get me wrong.  I love the holidays and I love the beautiful weather.  I would like nothing better than to just go with the flow, live according to the moment, allow my flesh to rule.  But, alas, I must be more mature than that!  I must find the way for us to accomplish our academic goals, enjoy the season, keep everyone content, and emerge in January with it "all" done.

Another opportunity to take it the Lord in prayer  and seek the counsel of my dh.  Another opportunity to evaluate priorities. 

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

Giving each day to you, Lord. Looking to You for direction, moment by moment.

This is the year for changes.  Firstborn son is moving back to our state to finish his college career.  Maybe we'll see more of him. That would be nice!  Secondborn oldest daughter has been traveling a lot this summer.  Hopefully, after a trip across the country with brother (she's flying to VA to meet up with him, then they are driving back), maybe she'll light long enough at home for us to love on her and enjoy some of her great cooking again before she takes off on her next adventure.

Meanwhile, I am teaching all five youngers this year.  Ninth grade, seventh, fifth, third, first.  Oh. My. Goodness.  But, I prayed and prayed for a worakable schedule, and it seems to be going ok.  Of course, cooking, shopping, and cleaning are not on the daily schedule, LOL, but that gives us something to do on Saturdays!

And my body....well, I have about decided that this must be menopausal spasms, all these weird and uncomfortable things happening to me.  I have mixed emotions about all this, but I am getting used to the idea of Growing Older.  And the idea of having Adult Children.  And the idea of possibly having No More Babies.  Wow. (Don't mind me; it must be hormones.)

Anyhow, a few comments about our schedule, which I am currently blowing by posting at 1:33 a.m.! Basically, we are all doing together Bible study, chores, meals, Wisdom Booklet (ATI unit studies), Wisdom Booklet Language Arts (I love it!), and mom's reading out loud.  Little J. is getting his first grade in bits and pieces through the day in between times.  Afternoons, each one has things like Bible reading, piano practice and reading literature, science, history, what have you, while I tutor a couple of them on their math.  The others do their math on their own.  This is the biggest juggling act I have ever been called upon to perform, but so far, it's working.  Thank you, Dear Lord, for answering my prayers!

I pray each of you is finding the balance and the best schedule or routine for your families for this time of life. Remember, to everything there is a season....even the current schedule.  Keep your flexibility handy and enjoy the fall.  

Back to Homeschool

Most of us have taken a break this summer, whether for 3 months or just a couple of weeks. We think of August as back-to-school time, if for no other reason than because Walmart tells us it is. It is a good time for reassessing our goals and priorities. Why are you teaching your children at home? What led you to make this decision? Are you still focused on the goal? Often times our reasons change and develop over time. We may begin because we want a better social or academic situation for our child. But after a while, we begin to see the benefits of family togetherness and parental control. Perhaps we started because of a specific need in our child's life, but now we find that they have blossomed and developed in so many areas that we had not even considered. For me, it was a conviction of the heart from the Scriptures: "And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." Deut. 6:6-7 These verses spoke of three main things to me. First, the Lord wanted parents to direct the training and education of their children. Second, He wanted them to do it all through the day. And third, He wanted it to be based upon the principles and precepts of His Word. Those have been the guiding principles for my home education program from the beginning. But sometimes, we can get sidetracked from what is truly important and lasting. For instance, I have been tempted to become involved in every wonderful extra-curricular activity that comes along. All of them are great! All of them are beneficial! Maybe some of them are even right for my family. But all of them are not for my family. I need to pick and choose those activities which will help me reach my goal: raising up sons and daughters who are mighty in Spirit to the glory and honor of the Lord. For others, homeschooling may have come about because of a desire for superior academics. This is a noble goal. But one can get off course by trying to fit in all the art, music, PE, clubs, social events, presentations, competitions, field trips, and special programs that are available. If you are finding that your original goals are suffering, perhaps it is time to reassess and refocus. Our homeschooling community has grown tremendously over the past 10 years. We now have a wide variety of opportunities to meet the needs of just about everyone. But we must be judicious in our choices for own individual families. I urge you to keep the main thing the main thing. Yes, our children need balance. They deserve a full, rich educational experience. But take the time now, at the beginning of a new academic year, to think through what you want to see develop in your children's lives over the next 8-9 months. You might start by assessing where they are now. Keeping your goals in mind, make a list of their positive characteristics and their areas needing improvement. For instance, you might record that your child is outgoing, confident, and shows initiative around the house. He also excels in math and enjoys studying nature. But he also has a problem with shifting blame. He is sloppy in his schoolwork. And he refuses to read anything but picture books. Now, depending on your family's ultimate goals for this child, you have some areas in which to focus for this fall, both to encourage his strengths and to overcome his weaknesses. This kind of assessment has nothing to do with test scores or percent grades. It has to do with deciding ahead of time where you are going with this particular child to meet his unique needs. Each of our children is a unique gift from God with a special purpose for his or her life. Each of our families are special and unique, chosen by God for what He wants to accomplish through us in the lives of our children. Let's take the time now to prayerfully consider where we are headed and how we plan to get there. Then let's launch into a new homeschool year with clear goals and a vision for the future. - Gayle (AHS Vice President)

Oh, my, what a blast!  Just imagine yourself...no, wait, imagine a typical American 13 year old--now multiply that by 10, up the volume times 2, add incessant, and I do mean incessant laughter over *nothing funny* and you have a picture of the party last night (you have to unimagine the wrinkles, graying hair, and excess body fat). We had so much fun!    A roomful of homeschool moms having a slumber party....imagine! Only we are now exhausted! Who wouldn't be after working their stomach muscles for 12 hours and then sleeping for only 3? Let's see....we ate pizza and salad and deep-fried, stuffed jalapeno peppers....laughed and talked...ate cheesecake and cookies and cake....talked and laughed....coated our hands in warm parrafin and placed them in plastic bags....laughed and talked....had a foot soak, scrub, and massage by a friend who came for the sole purpose (no pun intended) of serving us in this way....laughed and laughed and laughed...stripped the parrafin off our hands and enjoyed the youthful smoothness...ate pizza and homemade double chocolate goat's milk ice cream.....screamed with laughter....decided on which homemade triple-scented candle we would each get to keep, thanks to the goat's milk lady....watched Sabrina (well a couple of us did....while the others laughed and screamed hysterically in another room)....applied body art (removable tattoos--hey, we are grown women, so it is O.K.!)....screamed and hyperventilated from the riotous laughter....took various pills for various maladies, especially headache...prayed for an absent friend who was hurting....told stories about our younger days....roared with laughter....told stories about our kids....screamed with uncontrollable glee.....told stories about each other....threatened to *kill* each other (all in fun, of course) for telling those stories....drank coffee, tea, Dr. Pepper, coffee, tea, Dr. Pepper, coffee, tea, Dr. Pepper...visited the ladies' room...changed into our jammies (those that hadn't come in theirs).....laughed and laughed and laughed at absolutely nothing funny except elementary-boys' sound effects.....threatened death if everyone didn't *SHUT...UP* at 5:00 a.m. so we could actually sleep for a few minutes....threatened death if one lady didn't turn off the upper bunk alarm clock sounding at 8 a.m. (left by one of my daughters)....threatened death if the bottom bunk lady didn't turn off the other alarm clock sounding at 8:05 a.m.(left by another of my daughters)....laughed and screamed and groaned....drank coffee, tea, and Dr. Pepper...ate cold pizza, cold stuffed jalapenos, muffins and cookies....talked and laughed and laughed and sighed and sat and stared, glazed-eyed....decided that if we kept it going 30 more minutes we could say we partied till the following afternoon....washed a few dishes, stripped a few beds, returned a little furniture to its original location (this is what Real Moms do)....giggled...sighed....hugged....laughed....laughed...giggled...said goodbye....sighed.........stared around absently....ate a cookie....took a very long afternoon nap. Like till 9 or 10 at night. A good time was had by all.

I am having an identity crisis.  I am the mother of someone the age I was when I got married and started my "adult" life.  And I am understanding every day, more and more, what my own mother must have felt when I launched out on my own, thinking I was *so* smart, and that she was just too old to understand.  How unfair!  When she said, "You just wait till you have kids of your own someday..." I wasn't supposed to really understand what that meant when I got to be her age! I was smarter.  I would do things differently.  I would be the exception to the rule that "what goes around comes around."  Nope.  Life's pretty much the same for everybody, I'm figuring out.  Oh, we can do things God's way, and they'll most likely turn out better, but in general, we all go through the same ages and stages, and there's no getting around it.

I was thinking, too, the other day, about how much being a parent helps us to see ourselves the way God must see us.  We know how it *feels* for our children to hurt us, find fault with us, smirk at us, be impatient with us, disrespect us.  No, thankfully, it doesn't happen a lot around here, but it does happen.  They are individual people, growing up; they are not my play toys.  And I think that must be how we are to God--we are individuals, growing up, capable of making our own choices, and sometimes choosing to do and say things that must grieve the heart of God.  Ouch.  What a lesson.

So, I am finding myself in those between years.  I still feel, in my heart, like the young woman I once was.  But I look like an old lady who couldn't possibly understand life as a "young person" does today.  And yet, I am still my own mother's daughter. I am certainly not ready for those roles to reverse!  But it is all very strange. I am at this odd point in life where my mother knows better than me (hasn't she always, really?) and my adult children are also smarter than I am.  I am just the one in the middle who apparently has lost all good sense.

My mother isn't "old-fashioned" because she is a cool old lady.  I am the uncool, conservative, high-standards, modest, separate-from-the-world old wet rag.  And here I thought all these wonderful biblical principles God had shown me I would pass on to the next generation and they would rise above our heathen world and make a difference!  And now, alas, they just see me as this middle-aged fuddy-duddy, like I used to see anyone over 40 when I was in my twenties!  [Hey!  It's not about *me* being right!! It's about *God* being right!!  Do it *God's* way!  Please don't start playing footsies with the world and class me with all old fogeys!  I love you!  I want what's best for you!  Is anyone listening????!!!!]

Why am I so tired all the time?  Why is all my hair falling out? How did I get to be this size?  Why am I getting plumper and plumper, try as I might to eat less and tone more.  So, I begin to resign myself to a role that I never, ever thought I would fill.  That of the middle ager. Ugh.  And yet, I am still the mother of a Kindergartner!!  Life flows on, I get older, my firstborns turn into adults, and yet I still need to be that 24 year old mom I was so long ago.  Whew.

I am grateful for what I now know.  For things I've learned by experience.  But at the same time, it does grate on me that if I do things differently with my current younger children I am scorned as some sort of hypocrite. ("You would never have let us do that!") What I did with my olders was the right thing at the time.  And I wish I could do things with my youngers *just the same*.  But I can't.  Life is different.  They have lots of older siblings in the home.  They are exposed to so many things my older ones didn't know about till they were much older.  They have an old woman for a mom, too.  They also have a mom: 1)who has learned to let Dad be the head (which means some things will be allowed that I used to not allow), 2) who has gotten so that reading is a challenge due to my changing eyesight (which means I don't do as much read-aloud as I used to, and I don't enjoy it as much myself); 3) who has learned a thing or two about child training and obedience (which means I'm not as "nice" as I once was, perhaps); 4) who is more mature in her relationship with the Lord and has learned that she is *not* the general manager of the universe (which means I am quietly resigned to certain things that I used to have a hissy fit about); etc.  Same mom, different mom.

So I find myself in this personality crisis.  Who am I?  I know the younger moms at church see me as "Mrs. F____".  They want to be respectful, ya know. They never call me by my first name! But yet the moms with kids who are now grown and independent see me as a weirdo because I still have all these little children connected to me.  They have some younger children around, too--their grandchildren!

What am I trying to say?  This is just another one of those getting older things that nobody tells you about.  I mean, we have all heard of the "mid-life crisis".  Well, I am here to tell you that it is real!  So much to do, so little time. Asking yourself, have I made a difference?  Have I reared my children right?  Then it is ok that they are turning out differently from what I expected?  How do others perceive me?  Am I helpful to other moms?  Am I a good role model?  Or am I just a cranky pre-menopausal old lady to be pitied?

I guess the hardest thing about all this is knowing what I want me to be, and yet I am not that.  For if I were, I would be getting different responses from my family. All I can say is, "Lord, make me who You want me to be," realizing that that may not be what anyone really *likes* but what is best for me to be in my role as mom.

Today I took the plunge.  I emptied the file drawer of the school materials from *year before last* and put them in a hanging file box.  They are one step away from the attic.  Of course, I still have *this* year's school work to deal with.  (Note: I truly hate the word "school" applied to our home education program, but it is easier to type....)  Much of this year's material will segue into this next year (fall) because some of the girls didn't get near enough done this year.  But that is another story.

I am here to tell you how I set up my system.  We are in ATI, which means we use something called Wisdom Booklets--a unit study program in which a study is typically done in about a month.  So, here's what I do (many thanks to Susan Mangione for the idea!):

1) I get a hanging file for each unit for each child plus myself.  Then, I label them all: WB33 Mom; WB33 Emily; WB33 Sarah; and so on... WB34...WB35...36...37..38...39...WB 40 Hannah; WB 40 Peter; WB 40 Jonathan.  When I am done, I will have 6 folders for each of 8 units.  Ideally, we would do 9 units of four weeks each for 36 weeks.  But rarely does the ideal happen around here.

2) I start sorting things into my folders--worksheets, booklets, whatever tools each person will need for that unit study.

3) At some point (I'm not there yet), I will estimate the particular calendar weeks we will spend on each unit, and I will begin to divide up and assign any other work for each child for that unit.  For example, I will have a sheet of paper marked with a child's name, the dates for that unit, and the particular pages or assignments in a subject (i.e., math) that they will do along with the unit study.  I drop those assignment sheets into each hanging folder.

There's more that can be done, but that's about as far as I take it.  This starts me out with our entire year planned out, materials divided up, some assignments made already.  It always works best to start the year organized!!  Trust me, I know what it's like to start *unorganized*.

As we finish a unit, I put all the unit things into one bradded folder per child.  Well, actually, they usually do it for me.  I try to have the same color for everybody for any given unit--just helps make it look orderly in the drawer and I can tell at a glance if I'm missing anyone's work.  That goes into the original labeled hanging file along with anything else relevant to that time period--math lessons or tests; writing projects; special events programs, art work, etc.

At the end of the school year, I have everything neatly bundled, labeled, and ready to be stored.  In the meantime, we can skim through the drawer and look back over various assignments throughout the school year. For a high schooler, I can choose to pull his/her files and store them separately so I'll have all the high school work together.

The reason I just now filed away year before last's folders is because I took off this past year from our unit studies.  I wanted a break and a change after 15 years of doing the same program.  In some ways, I am glad I did that--we became more involved in outside activities and developed many new friendships.  But it a lot of ways, I regret it.  I was much less organized, I had too much standard curricula going at the same time for so many grades, our family was disjointed as each child did their own thing and very little was done together.

So, I'm ready to get back to the "old" way of studying things as a family.  For the younger ones, since it's been 2 years, it will all seem "new" to them. I pray that my organization will pay off.  If I am prepared, I know I will be a sweeter mommy and the entire "school" year will flow much more easily.  I am actually getting a wee bit excited about starting up again....and we haven't even finished this year!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Lord, I need you.  Please help me follow through in setting things up for next year.  Give me wisdom, Lord.  Help me to know how much to supplement, and what things to use so the children and I are not overwhelmed with too much to do.  I pray that we can experience some joy again in learning things as a family and working together. Thank you for what I got accomplished today....help me to not grow weary in well-doing.  Help me to trust that in due season I will reap if I faint not.  In Jesus' name.

I have thought for several years now, about writing a book on what it's like when our homeschooled children grow up.  I wish now I'd started back when the first one turned 12 or 13!  I was shocked.  No one tells you what it will be like.  I mean, people say, "Teenagers!" like they are something to be feared or dreaded.  It wasn't behavior and attitudes that got my attention first.  It was growth!

My, oh, my, how fast they grow during adolescence!!  No one told me.  Why is that?  Why are there volumes of books on babyhood, toddler training, child discipline, etc., but no one writes about what it's like when your baby turns into a man or a woman? 

Our firstborn was a boy.  When he hit puberty, he changed practically overnight.  There was no gradual growth process.  Just a quick succession of blue jeans and shoes of ever-increasing size!  I never noticed his voice cracking.  It just changed.

And then, the dilemmas began.  Is a "child" of 12 or 13 too old to physically discipline?  Yes, they are supposed to be trained and we are never to have another problem with them as they grow into gracious adults.  But, alas!  That does not happen.  They still bow up.  They still get in moods.  They still have a sin nature which rears its ugly head as occasional rebellion, slothfulness, sloppiness, or disrespect. 

I feel that I had it easy.  Both of my two oldest were never in-your-face rebels.  I guess that's why I never found a book about what it would be like.  All the books on adolescence are about what to do when you fail to train and you end up with a monster on your hands. But, if you train children properly, and they are generally respectful, obedient, and responsible, then they really become young adults, not "teenagers".  But it is still a shock.

Besides watching this incredible physical change take place so amazingly fast, I struggled with my own emotions.  And I still do.  When your "baby" is 22 years old, you can hardly tell him what to do or how to think.  But you still love him.  In fact, you love him more than you ever knew possible.  More than anyone ever warned you it was possible to love someone.  As a homeschool graduate, this "child" spent his entire life with me, almost 24 hours a day, seven days a week, for 18 years!  Yes, I worked to encourage maturity.  I wanted my son to grow into a man and be capable, wise, prepared for life.  But the more I invested in his life, the more precious he became to me.

I have had older folks at church tell me (now!) that parenting adult children is the most challenging of all.  When they are in diapers and we decide what they will eat, or swat their little hands for touching a no-no, we think that is the most taxing, exasperating time.  But we do not know what is coming.  Someone should have warned us.

Fortunately for my younger children, I had their older siblings with which to gain some experience.  I will learn from my mistakes, and the younger ones will benefit from that.  My poor older two!  They have had to suffer from an inexperienced mom all these years.  But I have been a good learner.  I have studied many wonderful books on the subject of Christian family life, and of course, the Word of God has been my guide.  But nothing prepared me for my thoughts and feelings.  For knowing when to dispense advice and how to do it respectfully.  For being hurt or discouraged by the children for whom I invested my all.  Don't get me wrong.  They have not intentionally hurt me.  It is a byproduct of this immense love I have for them. 

I do not want to smother them.  I have to let them become who God has planned for them to become.  They must develop their own relationship with the Lord.  They must determine their own standards of conduct.  They must find their own purpose in life.  But my heart!  These are my babies!  I watch them launch into adulthood with fear and trembling.  I *know* what the world can be like.  I want the Lord's blessings on their life.  I want them to be happy.  I want them to succeed in the plan God has for them.

Somebody should write a book.  Maybe I will.  Young mothers, be warned.  There is no love like the love of a mother.  And we homeschool moms have the opportunity to experience twenty times the love by virtue of our constant togetherness with our children.  I praise God for the opportunity to have known such love.  It helps me understand better the great sacrifice the Father made for me in the giving of His Son. How much He loved! And to think that His great love for me far surpasses what I feel for my own.  Unfathomable.

So.....

We went to Bernard's, one of our favorite Tyler "fancy" restaurants. Then, we took our after dinner coffee and dessert at Starbucks. We *had* to go to Walmart--what anniversary could do without a Walmart trip? I will spare you the details.

We called on our way home (12:30 a.m.!) and Rebecca said, "Well, I was *wondering* when you would finally be coming home!!" She knew something we didn't know.

We got home, got out of the van, walked to the back door and found some potted plants, flowers, and tea lights in a row. Hmmmm. A note on the door said, "Welcome to the Furlong Bed & Breakfast."

We went inside...another note, and some candles, "The management will blow out the candles when you have gone to bed."

More candles--all along the path to our bedroom. Outside our room, classical music playing. In our room, more candles!! (There were 23 in all, when they counted them up this morning!)

Our room was immaculate--INCLUDING THE DESK!!!!!!!!!!! Fresh sheets turned back. Two sets of towels. Between the towel sets was the bride and groom cake topper from our wedding cake. Propped agains the pillows was my wedding bouquet (silk). Sweet!

Our bathroom was shining! FlyLady would be so proud!!

Well! I leave the rest of the story to your imaginations. It was so wonderful!

There was a note on the bed, "Breakfast, 10:00 a.m." with the menu. And sure enough, at 10:00 there was a knock on the door and breakfast was brought in on china platters. Starbucks coffee, farm fresh eggs, blueberry zucchini bread (I'll post the recipe--it's yummy!!), sweetened strawberries, etc. Cloth napkins. Peter dashed in (wanting to have a part in all the fun, which he had slept through) with a small gift and some fresh flowers!!

I have the best kids on planet earth. And the best husband.


******sigh*******

And today, my flowers from Tim arrived.  They were fresh field flowers specially shipped from California.  What a guy!

If a priority is determined by how much it takes to knock it off your to-do list, then my priorities have been messed up lately.  I know what I want my priorities to be....but what usually happens is #1 becomes The Urgent, #2 becomes What I Most Want Right Now, and #3 becomes Feeling Guilty for not having more biblical priorities.  So, I sat down the other day and came up with what my priorities *should* be.  Lord, help me get it right. You know my heart.

Homeschooling in the spring..... Ah, aren't we glad we homeschool? This is the time for parks and field trips and sports and gardening and playgrounds and worms, and June bugs (well, we get them in April here!). This is the time for reading--outside! For bike rides and long walks and country drives. For Easter celebrations and Mother's Day plans. For enjoying the Azalea Trail...or maybe the zoo...or maybe just lying on a quilt in the yard with your children and looking at the clouds.

But, Alas and Alack!!! This is not what most homeschooling families do with the spring. We shut ourselves up in our homes agonizing over the fact that we are 6 weeks behind in math, or 9 units behind in spelling. We get obsessed with test scores and the high place of "completion" (who designed those pesky textbooks anyhow?) We get depressed and think we can never do this! Can never teach our children. May not even try again next year. Boo hoo. Poor us!

What a waste!!! I want to encourage you to wake up and smell the roses (which, by the way, will be blooming at the Tyler Rose Garden in just a few more weeks!). Yes, academics are important. But *life* is the most important thing! Live it! Teach your children that spring is a beautiful picture of the Resurrection and the free gift of eternal life in Jesus. Look at the trees budding out, peek into a nest at the new little eggs, watch a butterfly come out of the cocoon, observe the sweet little seedlings coming up in your garden (you *did* plant a little garden, didn't you??). Enjoy this very special time of year, learning with your child, fellowshipping, sharing God's creation.

Spring is *glorious*. All too soon it will be in the 90s with high humidity and we'll all be wilting and hanging out in the air conditioning. Then you can play catch up if you need to. But for now--look around!! Look with the eyes of your child! Spring has sprung!! Get out there with your child and enjoy LIFE! And thank God, we have the freedom to do so!

So, ladies, how was it?  We started the day with our typical family Valentine's party, which is always a sweet time (literally and figuratively).  Lots of hugs, kisses, cards, and candy. Jonathan's card for me had me "dancing with my wild hair going all over the place" (?!); Peter's had a little hidden part to open that said, "Mommy....(open) I love you"; Sarah made two sweet bears and signed hers, "from Sarah Bearearah"; Emily's was very sweet, considering the way we've been butting heads lately, "...I couldn't wish for a better mother! (really??)"; Rebecca's had an acronym for MOMMY: "Manager of the home (yeah, right), Outgoing (meaning I talk too much!), Mom of the century!, Merciful, Young at heart. (sweet!!!!)."  Dh's fit his personality: "From my heart one simple message...I love you."  Awwww.  And a large Hershey's kiss, which my tactless dd informed him I didn't like (kapowie!!).  Lesson on discretion immediately followed dad's departure to work.

Later, we (our family plus 4 other families) visited a nursing home in Athens and passed out about 100 Valentines to all the residents.  The older folk just loved it--especially getting to see the children.

The rest of the day was sort of downhill from there. Cried like an idiot because I didn't hear from my 21 year old.  Doesn't he love his Momma anymore????  Oh, well.  I finally gave up and snuggled with the son that still loves *his* Momma, my 4yo.  Got back up about 10 and found out I'd missed my call from older son!  Sigh.  Oh, well, at least he returned my call, even if I didn't get to talk to him.

I tried to learn about the conversation he had with older dd, but she was busy aerobicizing and panting and trying to keep up with Stormie Omartian's steps, LOL.  So, I retired to bed to read through Elisabeth Elliot's little booklet,"What God Has Joined...." Much needed reminder to stay the course no matter what.  Not exactly Valentine's reading material, I guess, but something quick to read while waiting on dh.  Reminded me of what my vows were supposed to have meant. Dh got home from work about midnight and we discussed our various offspring until we dozed off.

So, here we are...the day after.  Life goes on, does it not?  But, I am excited that the CAHE Valentine's party was postponed--we get to live all that love again on Friday!!  Yippee!  And more chocolate, I hope!!