I have been invited to post for the homeschool open house...so I will first give a quick intro, and then I will share some notes from a talk I gave about a year ago on the first (and last ) five things I have learned through homeschooling.
I have 7 children, ages 23, 20, 15, 13, 11, 9, and 6. I have been married 27 years, and I have homeschooled 17 years. (Visit my xanga and you'll see pictures of all of us!) We have been in the Advanced Training Institute all that time. I have easily and successfully taught all my chidlren to read using Bob Jones First Grade English Skills (except my first--I taught him to read before his one year of public school Kindergarten...not really knowing what I was doing...just telling him the sounds the letters make! He did the BJU program the next year to make sure I hadn't missed anything!) ATI is a Bible-based unit study program which covers vocabulary, NewTestament Greek, history, science, math principles, law/government, medicine, counseling, etc., with spiritual analogies and application. I have supplemented with various things over the years in math and language arts, mostly Learning Language Arts Through Literature and Saxon math...and with a *ton* of books. Regular, ordinary, interesting books! 
I have graduated 2 children. My oldest is a junior at University of Dallas (no, we aren't Catholic, in case you're wondering; we're Baptist). My second-born has taken independent study courses through Moody Bible Institute. She is called to missions and spends most of her time serving the Lord in various capacities and through various ministries. Last year I began teaching 5 grades at once! That was interesting!! 
I also began running a Smoothing the Way group. Through those two things, I learned a great deal *more* about homeschooling than I had learned when I wrote the following (namely, more about each child's unique abilities and individual learning styles). I hope you enjoy these notes, which I used to share at a Mom's Night Out last year.
First (and Last) 5 Things I’ve Learned About the Homeschooling Life….
By Gayle Furlong
February 2006
I learned many things my first year or two of homeschooling. As I was thinking back on that, I realized that I have had to relearn and reapply some of these same things in recent months, as I look at my family in our current situation. We have changed. I have changed. Our needs have changed. The responsibilities involved in educating our children at home have not changed, but I see them in different ways now.
I hope these basic truths will be a help and encouragement to you. I am still learning and growing, but these are the 5 most significant things that came to mind when I thought of what I had gained in 16 years of homeschooling….
1. Burnout is real
- Basically the same as clinical depression
- Tired, confused, down, feel like a failure, frustration level high, angry
- Triggered by stress from unmet expectations (which I will discuss in a minute)
Then (1990)
- husband busy w/ residency (not the perfect, involved leader the books told me to look for!)
- I was just learning how to “do school” at home (ideas of how that should work)
- Young children…pregnancy and illness (physical exhaustion and stress)
- Move; new baby; nursing (at end of first year)
- Trying to be “perfect” –magazine “cover family”
- Fatigue
- All this plus normal everyday chores, sibling conflict, etc.
- Had my first case of “burnout” about December of my first year!
**We need to realize that it is normal and natural to feel overwhelmed…even defeated…when we place more and more pressure and responsibility on ourselves.
- learn to ask—is this what the Lord wants me to do?
- What does my husband really want me to focus on?
- Do I need help? It isn’t wrong to need help! It doesn’t make you a failure!
(I did not know all this back then…took me many years to understand these truths.)
- read, read, read; join a support group; find a mentor; rethink your educational approach; get discipline and home management under control first
Now (2005-06)
- husband busy w/ practice (regularly works 15 hrs. a day)
- creeping toward more traditional “school” at home because of so many ages—result: less freedom for creativity, outside time, other activities. Overwhelms us all (including children)
- not enough living and joy of life
- trying to meet everyone’s needs:
- husband—be there for him with his crazy hours!
- college-aged son (figuring out my role, being available whenever needed)
- graduate, single young lady (another “mom” in the home; her needs for counsel, encouragement, freedom)
- high schooler—sort of—adolescence, not keeping up with “school”
- jr. higher—more adolescent needs; personality differences
- late elementary—different personality needs
- early elementary—still needs lots of my interaction, teaching, supervision
- preschooler—adult daughter helps, but he is still needing mommy time and attention!
- my own parents—want to be called, visited with
- church commitments, support group service, etc.
- huge volume of work—I don’t even try to “do it all” but even w/the help of my children—which is essential, I still have the responsibility of so much—ensuring someone is cleaning, taking care of animals and yard, shopping, etc.
- sixteen years of homeschooling—began to be a little “tired” of it all
**Same cure:
- realize what was happening to me
- admit tendency to depression/anxiety (runs in family)
- cry out to God and husband for help
- seek God’s will
- cut back on academics to allow for “real life” experiences
- take care of me (rest, exercise, nutrition, medication if needed, time outs)
**I don’t have all the answers here. I just want other mothers to know that homeschooling is a huge responsibility in addition to the enormous job of being a keeper at home, helpmeet, etc. I want to encourage the discouraged or overwhelmed to get some help, rethink what you are doing, back off some, relax, remember to enjoy your children. Do not condemn yourself.
2. Give your expectations to God!
- Unmet expectations contribute to burnout
Then (some mentioned before)
- husband’s leadership
- homeschool results (academic and character)
- “perfect children”…really, my reputation
- my time, schedules, how the day flows
**all these areas had to be yielded to God
- leadership—focus on my responsibility
- results—same
- reputation—same
- time/schedule—same
--and leave the results to God!
Now (like I said, I am still learning!!)
Recent unmet expectations:
- husband’s involvement
- adult children’s choices
-they won’t all go into full-time Christian service (ha ha)
-…or even read their Bible every day
- fear of the future—what will become of them if I don’t stamp out ___________or instill ___________? (again…my own pride?)
**expectations of others puts them in bondage
- I choose to free them from my expectations
- Focus on my responsibilities and leave the results to God
- Be a willing vessel in the hands of the Lord
- Lose my personal agenda…God’s plans may be different
- Be more understanding of others
- Side note: if you don’t model this, the result will be children and husband will have a long list of their expectations of you, which you can never meet—the result of that will be conflict, disappointment, feelings of failure, hopelessness (in other words, repeat burnout)
- All should strive to please the Lord—and all should accept each other’s best efforts at that
3. Every child is unique
Then
- taught first-born to read before Kindergarten, just by answering his questions (wasn’t officially “homeschooling” at this point! He was just ready! I didn’t even know what I was doing!)
- first year homeschooling—heavy curriculum (BJU First Grade English Skills, spelling, math, plus ATI WBs); sweet little second born 3yo just sat and sweetly colored for hours
Later
- second born needed 2 years of “kindergarten” plus first grade to learn to read. Very different from firstborn—wondered what I was doing “wrong”
- third born learned to read at 4—couldn’t have stopped her if I had wanted…and so it goes…they are all different
Now
- every level of academic ability
- all kinds of talents and interests (art, music, languages, cooking, animals, etc.)
- all kinds of personalities and moods (joyful/moody; strong-willed/compliant; patient/impatient; sloppy/compulsively perfectionistic; self-starters/slothful; ADD/ADHD/focused; tomboy/ladylike; tough/easily “injured”, ETC!!)
- realizing that I have to stretch myself to meet their individual needs and struggles
- may need a different approach to each child (i.e., some can read and learn; others ‘space out’ and can’t learn just from studying a textbook)
- still a work in progress here!
4. Academics are secondary
Then
- I have always tried to keep our focus on Scripture and character development
- Learned at first ATI conference: “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things (like academic achievement) shall be added to you as well….” I felt this applied to academics. If we seek God first and His kingdom, he will make sure our children gain whatever skills and knowledge they will need to fulfill His will for them.
- I just trusted in this promise from the Bible. I did not fret and worry about the future, about test scores, about college. I focused on discipling my children in the ways of God.
Now
- My confidence in God has wavered some as I have second-guessed my decisions for my older ones. But God has been faithful. I fear when I take my eyes off of Him. I must constantly choose to walk by faith, not by sight, in this area.
- I have had to remind myself of this truth as my children entered high school. It is so easy to let the world dictate “success” for your children.
- Much easier to slip into a “school” at home mentality as children reach teens.
- There is no “cookie cutter” plan for our children—each child has different God-given talents and abilities; they will all be different!
- Need to pray and set own goals and ask the Lord to help you achieve them:
- 1) relationship with Jesus Christ—nothing else matters if my children are not headed to heaven
- 2) family relationships—we will be family their entire lives; these relationships are so important. I have always seen siblings as the friends the Lord has provided for my children; in fact, if they couldn’t get along with each other, I would tell them, how could I allow them to try to get along with folks outside our family?
- 3) ability to function in life—this is far beyond what the textbooks can teach; this is life skills—checkbook balancing, filling out forms at the doctor’s office, cooking, cleaning, child training, marriage and homeschooling wisdom, how to swim, ride a bike, drive a car, how to serve, manners, a strong work ethic
- 4) head knowledge—way down on the priority list—if they learn to read, and they love to learn, and you teach them how to look up what they don’t know, they can always find out what they want to know. I had my particular academic goals for my children—mostly things I felt I was not adequately educated in, like world history and world geography—but for the most part, I just focused on basic skills (reading, writing, math), their personal talents and interests (sign language, Russian, music, interior design, whatever), and supplemented with what I thought a well
Posted by 
Still Seeking,
Amy